A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Perth, Western AustraliaPosts: 3,898
    edited March 2018
    You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?
    That's exactly right something I'm trying to work on...I'm in in my late 30's
    E.V. - "Music is a Weapon of Mass Construction"
    Perth-20th March 1998
    Perth-23rd February 2003
    Perth-25th November 2006
    Perth-14th November 2009
    E.V. - Perth-31st March, 1st April 2011
  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Perth, Western AustraliaPosts: 3,898
    PJ_Soul said:
    i_lov_it said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Breaks ups suck, sorry man.

    Thank you...but what I described happened while we were together...and yes Break ups do suck...and being treated like shit during the relationship also suck...
    Yeah, gotcha (I can't comment too much, as partying with a bunch of Irishmen until 5am sounds like something I would do, lol. Although I would certainly call my live-in BF to say I was going to be really late! That's the part where she fucked up!).
    Yes, being treated like shit in relationships sucks too. I've had a few doozies in my time. It can really turn your life upside down.... especially when the break up happens, for some reason. Break ups often aren't any easier, or maybe even harder, when the relationship has been a roller coaster ride... Especially because that situation tend to lead to messier break ups with more turbulent emotions.

    I understand what you are saying :)
    E.V. - "Music is a Weapon of Mass Construction"
    Perth-20th March 1998
    Perth-23rd February 2003
    Perth-25th November 2006
    Perth-14th November 2009
    E.V. - Perth-31st March, 1st April 2011
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    Release me. Ffs Release me
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 3,836
    You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?
    This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...


  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    I need more help than i can get. Today i saw a new person. Im not sure her title. But i can't get through to any of them . Im loosing my memory and the confusion is at a level i can't get through a day. Im now faced with rotting away and being an absolute bind on my partner. I told this lady im close to ending it all. 
    They all say oh its just a bad patch . You will get better nobody is listening  so far out of my depth . If not for love i would be drowning.  
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Perth, Western AustraliaPosts: 3,898
    You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?
    This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...



    Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...
    E.V. - "Music is a Weapon of Mass Construction"
    Perth-20th March 1998
    Perth-23rd February 2003
    Perth-25th November 2006
    Perth-14th November 2009
    E.V. - Perth-31st March, 1st April 2011
  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Perth, Western AustraliaPosts: 3,898
    edited March 2018
    I need more help than i can get. Today i saw a new person. Im not sure her title. But i can't get through to any of them . Im loosing my memory and the confusion is at a level i can't get through a day. Im now faced with rotting away and being an absolute bind on my partner. I told this lady im close to ending it all. 
    They all say oh its just a bad patch . You will get better nobody is listening  so far out of my depth . If not for love i would be drowning.  

    I'm sorry to hear what you're going through...I hope you get better and find a way out of feeling like this...
    Post edited by i_lov_it on
    E.V. - "Music is a Weapon of Mass Construction"
    Perth-20th March 1998
    Perth-23rd February 2003
    Perth-25th November 2006
    Perth-14th November 2009
    E.V. - Perth-31st March, 1st April 2011
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 3,836
    i_lov_it said:
    You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?
    This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...



    Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...
    I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    Is anyone here in England?
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • AnnafalkAnnafalk SwedenPosts: 3,813
    I need more help than i can get. Today i saw a new person. Im not sure her title. But i can't get through to any of them . Im loosing my memory and the confusion is at a level i can't get through a day. Im now faced with rotting away and being an absolute bind on my partner. I told this lady im close to ending it all. 
    They all say oh its just a bad patch . You will get better nobody is listening  so far out of my depth . If not for love i would be drowning.  
    I wonder if you can focus on something that gives you strength. Like something you can hold on to when the wind gets rough. A positive thought, something strong, filled with love. And maybe you can start to build from there so you get stronger and stronger.  
    Im sorry if it sounds fuzzy or strange but I’m just typing my thoughts. Strength to you friend.
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    Thank you anna. Im going to meet a friend because i do not feel safe. Im upsetting to be around and i can see damage caused to my partner. I can't find any hope at the moment i keep getting worse by the day. With confusion. 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • AnnafalkAnnafalk SwedenPosts: 3,813
    edited March 2018
    Thank you anna. Im going to meet a friend because i do not feel safe. Im upsetting to be around and i can see damage caused to my partner. I can't find any hope at the moment i keep getting worse by the day. With confusion. 
    That sounds great that you are seeing a friend, I hope you will have a nice day.
    Post edited by Annafalk on
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    Thank you anna. Im not good at seeing a future i want my memory back. But i might have to just be like this now. 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 16,722
    Thank you anna. Im going to meet a friend because i do not feel safe. Im upsetting to be around and i can see damage caused to my partner. I can't find any hope at the moment i keep getting worse by the day. With confusion. 
    can you voluntarily commit yourself?
    I can see shit now. 
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    The lady i saw said she could but only if i was like 10/10 going to kill myself. And i thought they may take my baby away if im sectioned. Ive got all this trouble with her ex getting social services involved so it will seem as if im unsafe. I can't win. But i must admit im at a good 7/10. I told her 5. But fuck this . I even tried weed again after 20 years. Utterly stupid and not for me.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Perth, Western AustraliaPosts: 3,898
    edited March 2018
    i_lov_it said:
    You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?
    This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...



    Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...
    I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....
    I'm sorry to hear that Meltdown...but as you said before you can not let someone use you as a doormat...it's not easy but you can get there...it took me awhile to relise it and you can too...I hope you can stop yourself from being treated that way the same way I did...you deserve respect...and Thank you :)
    Post edited by i_lov_it on
    E.V. - "Music is a Weapon of Mass Construction"
    Perth-20th March 1998
    Perth-23rd February 2003
    Perth-25th November 2006
    Perth-14th November 2009
    E.V. - Perth-31st March, 1st April 2011
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 3,836
    i_lov_it said:
    i_lov_it said:
    You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?
    This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...



    Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...
    I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....
    I'm sorry to hear that Meltdown...but as you said before you can not let someone use you as a doormat...it's not easy but you can get there...it took me awhile to relise it and you can too...I hope you can stop yourself from being treated that way the same way I did...you deserve respect...and Thank you :)

    i_lov_it said:
    I need more help than i can get. Today i saw a new person. Im not sure her title. But i can't get through to any of them . Im loosing my memory and the confusion is at a level i can't get through a day. Im now faced with rotting away and being an absolute bind on my partner. I told this lady im close to ending it all. 
    They all say oh its just a bad patch . You will get better nobody is listening  so far out of my depth . If not for love i would be drowning.  

    I'm sorry to hear what you're going through...but that last part you need to pay attention too...

  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 3,836
    i_lov_it said:
    i_lov_it said:
    You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?
    This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...



    Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...
    I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....
    I'm sorry to hear that Meltdown...but as you said before you can not let someone use you as a doormat...it's not easy but you can get there...it took me awhile to relise it and you can too...I hope you can stop yourself from being treated that way the same way I did...you deserve respect...and Thank you :)
    Thank you for kind words.  I am definitely working on it.  Glad it worked out for you.  
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 3,836
    What’s up with the quotes on this forum...
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 16,722
    What’s up with the quotes on this forum...
    if you backspace too far it will trap you in the previous quote and won't let you out. simply refresh the page and try again. 
    I can see shit now. 
  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Perth, Western AustraliaPosts: 3,898
    edited March 2018
    i_lov_it said:
    i_lov_it said:
    You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?
    This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...



    Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...
    I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....
    I'm sorry to hear that Meltdown...but as you said before you can not let someone use you as a doormat...it's not easy but you can get there...it took me awhile to relise it and you can too...I hope you can stop yourself from being treated that way the same way I did...you deserve respect...and Thank you :)
    Thank you for kind words.  I am definitely working on it.  Glad it worked out for you.  
    Thank you and you're welcome...but I'm still working on it too...It's just one situation in which that I managed to get out of even though it took me awhile to relise it...still a lot of work to do...
    Post edited by i_lov_it on
    E.V. - "Music is a Weapon of Mass Construction"
    Perth-20th March 1998
    Perth-23rd February 2003
    Perth-25th November 2006
    Perth-14th November 2009
    E.V. - Perth-31st March, 1st April 2011
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,711
    The lady i saw said she could but only if i was like 10/10 going to kill myself. And i thought they may take my baby away if im sectioned. Ive got all this trouble with her ex getting social services involved so it will seem as if im unsafe. I can't win. But i must admit im at a good 7/10. I told her 5. But fuck this . I even tried weed again after 20 years. Utterly stupid and not for me.
    Have you contacted any mental health support groups where you could explore different options? Like mental health rehabilitation facilities, even out patient community support programs? I just googled here, so you may already be aware, but perhaps you could contact https://www.rethink.org/ or https://www.rehab-recovery.co.uk/addiction-help/mental-emotional.html or some other group like that to find resources. 


    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    I will do that thank you 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 16,722
    my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

    part of me is glad she doesn't. 
    I can see shit now. 
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,711
    my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

    part of me is glad she doesn't. 
    I get the impression that most people who haven't dealt with it themselves simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you can't just will or think yourself out of it like that. Like, I don't think they're capable of understanding that no matter how you explain it to them.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    You cannot explain it to someone who thankfully hss never visited our darkness
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 3,938
    Words don't equate
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 16,722
    PJ_Soul said:
    my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

    part of me is glad she doesn't. 
    I get the impression that most people who haven't dealt with it themselves simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you can't just will or think yourself out of it like that. Like, I don't think they're capable of understanding that no matter how you explain it to them.
    she has suffered, but mildly, REALLY mildly, compared to me. strangely, she's on meds and I'm not. they helped me once long ago, but don't seem to now. 
    I can see shit now. 
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,711
    PJ_Soul said:
    my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

    part of me is glad she doesn't. 
    I get the impression that most people who haven't dealt with it themselves simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you can't just will or think yourself out of it like that. Like, I don't think they're capable of understanding that no matter how you explain it to them.
    she has suffered, but mildly, REALLY mildly, compared to me. strangely, she's on meds and I'm not. they helped me once long ago, but don't seem to now. 
    Oh. Well... I dunno then, lol. Maybe those who suffer really mildly can will themselves out of it... or her meds worked great and her positive thinking was a little bit neither here nor there.
    That reminds me of a disturbing comment a good friend of mine made recently about his own current issues. He's been struggling with a pretty terrible anxiety disorder for a while now, but is kind of the master of denial sometimes, so he waited until it got so bad he had a mental breakdown. After that he FINALLY tried some meds, which he's been resisting way too long (not that they help everyone, but one needs to at least give it a try when nothing else is working, right?), and once he started the meds (and left his job on extended sick leave) he has started to deal with things a lot better... and now, of course, he's talking about going off the meds. Argh. And he's not saying it because they make him feel like shit. He's saying it because now that he's feeling a fair bit better he's got it in his head that he doesn't need meds anymore. Now he's a smart guy. I know if it was someone else he'd recognize the problematic reasoning going on there. But he's got blinders on when it comes to him sometimes. It worries the hell out of me, especially since he just told me that he's completely ditching his career altogether, based on his inability to handle work during this tough time for him with the anxiety. With that he's also ditching his pension... and he has a special needs child to save for. He's talking about maybe getting a part time job in a deli. :confused: Yeah, I'm real worried about the decisions he's making just now, in terms of the long game. He's making some awfully permanent decisions that I think he may regret down the road. But hey, I'm not his wife! All I can do at this point is act like I support his decisions.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 16,722
    PJ_Soul said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

    part of me is glad she doesn't. 
    I get the impression that most people who haven't dealt with it themselves simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you can't just will or think yourself out of it like that. Like, I don't think they're capable of understanding that no matter how you explain it to them.
    she has suffered, but mildly, REALLY mildly, compared to me. strangely, she's on meds and I'm not. they helped me once long ago, but don't seem to now. 
    Oh. Well... I dunno then, lol. Maybe those who suffer really mildly can will themselves out of it... or her meds worked great and her positive thinking was a little bit neither here nor there.
    That reminds me of a disturbing comment a good friend of mine made recently about his own current issues. He's been struggling with a pretty terrible anxiety disorder for a while now, but is kind of the master of denial sometimes, so he waited until it got so bad he had a mental breakdown. After that he FINALLY tried some meds, which he's been resisting way too long (not that they help everyone, but one needs to at least give it a try when nothing else is working, right?), and once he started the meds (and left his job on extended sick leave) he has started to deal with things a lot better... and now, of course, he's talking about going off the meds. Argh. And he's not saying it because they make him feel like shit. He's saying it because now that he's feeling a fair bit better he's got it in his head that he doesn't need meds anymore. Now he's a smart guy. I know if it was someone else he'd recognize the problematic reasoning going on there. But he's got blinders on when it comes to him sometimes. It worries the hell out of me, especially since he just told me that he's completely ditching his career altogether, based on his inability to handle work during this tough time for him with the anxiety. With that he's also ditching his pension... and he has a special needs child to save for. He's talking about maybe getting a part time job in a deli. :confused: Yeah, I'm real worried about the decisions he's making just now, in terms of the long game. He's making some awfully permanent decisions that I think he may regret down the road. But hey, I'm not his wife! All I can do at this point is act like I support his decisions.
    no, I just think her condition isn't nearly as bad as mine. she isn't able to will herself out of it, but I think hers is mild enough that meds took that edge off and she's able to deal with it effectively. i was at that same point years ago. 

    tell him going off my meds was the biggest mistake I ever made. I did it once consiously, as I didn't like the side effects (sleeping issues, . The other time, I didn't even have side effects. My script lapsed while my daughter was in the hospital, so by the time I got back to normal life, it had been a couple weeks, so I thought, STUPIDLY, "ah, I'm good, so I'll give it a shot". that was 5 years ago, and it's been shit ever since. I was at my worst a couple years ago, lost a bunch of weight (silver lining!) from not eating and sleeping and basically being a shaking leaf for months. it was the worst time of my life and if I could take it back and stay on my meds I would. EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I honestly nearly didn't survive. if I didn't have kids, I probably wouldn't have. 
    I can see shit now. 
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