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A girl told me I creep her out

Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
edited May 2016 in All Encompassing Trip
Hey guys,
I don't know who else to talk to and am quite emotional (in tears) at the moment.
This girl in my lectures and classes who I sit next to at university sent me a blunt message on facebook this morning saying that I creep her out. I admit I like her and asked her out, she said she's working and I asked next time and she said yeah. That was over a month ago and I haven't asked her out again as I wasn't sure. Last night I sent her youtube link of a video of her town.
I woke up this morning and found the following message on my phone which left me shocked and feeling cold.

"So I don't know if you think it's funny or cool but it's actually starting to really creep me out that your looking up where I live and send me links. I can't stop you from looking at what's in my town if you really are interested but could you please stop sending me links I know what my town looks like I've lived here for 18 years

Thank you"

I replied to that message apologising and saying I won't send any more links.

We always clown around and tease each other in classes so I was joking around with her town. I thought she'd laugh about it, find it funny.
Her reaction is so against how she's replied to me in person before during class.
She's lives far away from me on the opposite side of town and I've never been to her town so was curious to see what it looks like.

I don't see myself as a creep and didn't realise I was creeping her out. I feel so embarrassed and disgusted at myself now.
I'll avoid her in uni, not sit next to her to give her space but I feel so terrible that I am thought of as a creep.
Sucks we need to do a group assignment together and meet at uni every week to work on it, I don't know how to go about it.
Do I just do my part and email to the group.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
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Comments

  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Maybe talk to her in person next time, clear the air?

    I'm really sorry her words hurt you so much. You've always struck me as a nice enough, insightful and funny guy.
  • DegeneratefkDegeneratefk Posts: 3,123
    Find another woman.

    Don't get mixed into her crazy before the first date!
    will myself to find a home, a home within myself
    we will find a way, we will find our place
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    First, I'm sorry.

    Secondly, don't put your grades at risk just because some chick claims that she finds you creepy. Carry on with your group as if this didn't occur, but I'd choose a different place to sit.

    If there is an opportunity, in public but not surrounded by these people in your group, that you are able to talk with her about it, I'd say go for it. I would avoid the social media thing with her again, as she has already taken you the wrong way anyhow. Social media isn't always the answer. (Though I see that I am using it right now.)

    I agree with Hedo and DF. Let those scars heal. I'm so very sorry that she is making you feel this way. Hang in there. I promise that not every woman is like her.
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • EnkiduEnkidu So Cal Posts: 2,996
    I had the same thought - if she would send a message like that even though she's been joking around and nice in person - something's off with her. But it might be nice to clear the air.
  • FoxyRedLaFoxyRedLa Lauren / MI Posts: 4,810
    I don't know what I think of this, other than kinda pissed off. How do you go from being friendly and teasing to calling someone a creep.....?
    Oh please let it rain today.
    Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
  • The Waiting Trophy ManThe Waiting Trophy Man Niagara region, Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,158
    Try to find humour in everything. Laugh it off. Don't take anything too seriously. You're not a creep. Something wrong on her end.
    Another habit says it's in love with you
    Another habit says its long overdue
    Another habit like an unwanted friend
    I'm so happy with my righteous self
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    I had a class with her yesterday afternoon and she was being playful with me (kicked me as she was walking behind me) and there were laughs as we were walking to the train station after class finished, she even gave me the middle finger as a joke. I can't believe what she sent me.
    Yes I admit I did perhaps go over the top with her town, sending her links I thought she'd find funny but I didn't think she'd feel creeped out and uncomfortable like I am stalking her.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • DegeneratefkDegeneratefk Posts: 3,123
    Are you sure that's the only link you've sent her? She may have felt you were being too pushy.
    will myself to find a home, a home within myself
    we will find a way, we will find our place
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    It was only that and a pic. No more.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Did you send her a pic of a body part?
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    RKCNDY said:

    Did you send her a pic of a body part?

    I don't know if you are joking or not but no I didn't.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    Could it be that maybe she was drinking or under the influence of something else the other night and maybe lost her general self in the middle of whatever it could be?
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

    This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

    This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
    How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    i'll admit i'm not at all backing you up with your picture sending move, that was not a good idea at all, don't do that. in class be chill & come across like this never happened. sometime in person just say you meant nothing by it & all is well. again chill & calm, smooth as glass, aint no thing.

    let her know you're a guitarist
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

    This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
    How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
    Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

    PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    chadwick said:

    i'll admit i'm not at all backing you up with your picture sending move, that was not a good idea at all, don't do that. in class be chill & come across like this never happened. sometime in person just say you meant nothing by it & all is well. again chill & calm, smooth as glass, aint no thing.

    let her know you're a guitarist

    Thanks chad.
    She knows I am but doesn't seem interested in that. She's not into music like I am.
    I'm going to sit away from her but still say hi if she sees me.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    hedonist said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

    This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
    How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
    Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

    PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.
    Thank you.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    well, dude, people who don't full on enjoy music might should be fed to salt water crocs, true/false?

    you could always kick her in the shins .... i kid i kid

    tell her pearl jam puts out vinyl albums for sale & that she's a dork for not having any
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    chadwick said:

    well, dude, people who don't full on enjoy music might should be fed to salt water crocs, true/false?

    you could always kick her in the shins .... i kid i kid

    tell her pearl jam puts out vinyl albums for sale & that she's a dork for not having any

    True I say lol.
    She doesn't know who Pearl Jam are sadly.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    hedonist said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

    This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
    How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
    Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

    PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.
    Thank you.
    You're on your own OP.
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    hedonist said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

    This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
    How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
    Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

    PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.
    Thank you.
    You're on your own OP.
    WTF are you on about?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    hedonist said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

    This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
    How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
    Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

    PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.
    Thank you.
    You're on your own OP.
    WTF are you on about?
    No one ever knows. It isn't just you.
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • AnnafalkAnnafalk Sweden Posts: 4,004
    At least she told you how she felt getting that picture. She didn't understood the fun that you saw with it apparently. Just don't worry about it.
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,072
    If she's open to listening, I'd tell her what your intentions were with the picture emphasizing that there was no ill will and that you only had good intentions. Tell her you're sorry that it didn't come across that way. If that doesn't satisfy her then maybe strongly considering letting it go and move on- I know that's easier said than done sometimes but better to nip your feeling in the bud earlier rather than later, especially if she can't/won't consider a sincere apology. At that point it becomes her loss. You're a good guy Thoughts and you deserve the same!
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni











  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Just to clear it up, it was a video of her town and the picture was the shire from LOTR, it was a joke as that part of town is nice compared to my part. There was nothing sexually inappropriate or offensive about what I sent.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,489
    Shake it off.

    No big deal. She's not the one for you, man!
    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited May 2016
    brianlux said:

    If she's open to listening, I'd tell her what your intentions were with the picture emphasizing that there was no ill will and that you only had good intentions. Tell her you're sorry that it didn't come across that way. If that doesn't satisfy her then maybe strongly considering letting it go and move on- I know that's easier said than done sometimes but better to nip your feeling in the bud earlier rather than later, especially if she can't/won't consider a sincere apology. At that point it becomes her loss. You're a good guy Thoughts and you deserve the same!

    Thank you Brian. I don't feel comfortable sitting next to her in the remaining lectures and classes this semester because if she finds me creepy I want to give her space and plus it makes me feel uncomfortable knowing someone is uncomfortable.
    I want to unfriend her on facebook but me and this other girl in a group assignment use chat to communicate about our work.
    Feeling pretty terrible at the moment, looks like I lack social skills and am just weird.
    I reckon I gave a motivational speaker I met the other night a weird vibe too as he was keen to end the conversation. I went up to him after his speech and said I've been following his videos online and they mean a lot to me, but because I was lost for words he looked uncomfortable.
    Never had a girlfriend, never will. I suck.
    I've been managing my depression well up until today. Why am I such a loser?
    It's Friday the 13th, guess it got me.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    This song was made for a guy like me
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMBVzcjPiyo
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
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