A girl told me I creep her out

Thoughts_Arrive

DarthMaeglin said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

DarthMaeglin said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

DarthMaeglin said:

I'm sorry to hear things didn't go as smoothly as they might have, but your last paragraph is amping up my concern for you.

First, I wouldn't say you've made an enemy, but (harsh as this may sound, I'm sorry) you've definitely been "friend-zoned," I'd say. At this point, apologies have been made, so let it be, and just be friendly with her when you have to interact. It seems like she's overreacted to an extent (remember, we're only getting your side of the story here, again, sorry for any harshness), but it is what it is, all you have any control over is you.

Second, this is clearly REALLY eating at you (please believe me, I know the feeling). You're not sleeping, and anxiety's up. If it hasn't already, this will have a negative effect on your studies, which it sounds like where your focus needs to be right now. I hope I can speak for everyone here when I say we want you to be successful.

Unfortunately, I want to go back to earlier advice that you find out what resources are available to you to get more professional help to deal with your issues. As I said before, hopefully your family (at least) and friends will want to help you with whatever obstacles might present. Here in Canada, it was about a 6-month wait for a referral (I am also dependant on the public health system), and while the wait was frustrating, in the end it's been worth it. While the Internet will provide shoulders to lean on, we're not the ones to give the help you may need, and ultimately the heavy lifting will be up to you.

Not sure what else to say other than I hope the best for you, and wish I could give better advice on how to break these trains of thought (my fallback method's usually been distraction, which isn't really the best way).

Hopefully we'll also be hearing back that you made it to the metal show and had a blast.

All I did was send her that link to a video of her town and a pic of the shire from LOTR saying that's her town, I know it's stupid of me but we were teasing the places where we live.
Thank you for your best wishes. Even my friends are upset at me for not taking their advice when they told me she doesn't sound like she's interested.

Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel defensive, I had read about the link, which seems innocent enough, and is why I agree with others that she overreacted. The point is to stop beating yourself up over it.

Unfortunately another elephant in the room is the age difference. I know going back to school at 35 with a bunch of 17-year-olds was an odd experience for me, and likely played a role in some of what I experienced. She's likely still got some growing up to do, if she's ok to joke about hometowns, but then turns around and reacts like she did to the link you sent.

Again, just want you to be successful and happy. Seriously, it looks like there are at least several others here that feel this way, so maybe I should just shut up now, lol?

Yeah I always felt uncomfortable, I am 32 soon just to clarify, still too old. She turns 19 soon.
I thought she was interested in me, I misread her.
I just remember when my sister and her boyfriend now husband got together she was 19 and he was 27. But that was generations ago. Girls I find are not as mature as girls from Gen X were at that age.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. All depends on the individuals involved, lol. I'm actually discovering how nice it can be to be 42 and single these days. I have the best kind of kids, for example: other people's, lol (parents, maybe you can dump on me via PM if you feel the need, so as to maintains the integrity of the thread, lol).

Yeah I was hoping it would, sometimes I think with my heart and emotion and not my head.
If I were to go on a dating site my limit would be 23 yrs of age. Don't know what I was thinking with her. But I thought perhaps as we are both wanting to become teachers we'd both be on the same level.

catefrances

Thoughts_Arrive said:

catefrances said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

So I met with her this morning to do out assignment, she said hi how was your weekend, what did you do. It was a bit awkward, after a bit of silence I apologised and she said please don't and then said that what I sent her on facebook she got creeped out by, I said it wasn't my intention and it is not who I am (a creep).

After the meeting she kind of walked away and sat down in the library, so I took it she didn't want to walk to the cafeteria with me. In the following lecture she was sitting in her usual seat, I sat away.
After the lecture I was waiting for another guy I know from uni as he said he'd catch the train home with me, so she left the lecture building and she had a minute or so head start walking towards the train station.

Me and the other guy ended up catching up to her at a pedestrian crossing as she was waiting for the green man, my friend then left me as he had to get a tram, leaving me and her to walk for a block to the subway station. I chatted like normal and so did she but when we got to the subway stairs entering the subway she kept her distance from me then when we got into the foyer she just turned towards a ticket machine without saying bye and I went through the gates and down 2 sets of escalators to the platform. At the second set of escalators going down she ran quickly down the stairs past me, didn't say anything, I guess she was rushing as her train was approaching and I had a 20 minute wait.

She's either wanting to distance herself from me due to me creeping her out or she's upset I didn't sit next to her so didn't say bye.

I feel so bad about how this has ended up, I feel like I have made an enemy. It's got me really stressed out, I didn't sleep well last night and my anxiety is high.

I think it best if you take your cues from her. it is clear she has an issue with you and you might not ever find out what it is. if she doesn't initiate contact then i'd steer clear of her. people are weird and do things that we sometimes can't understand... just look after yourself.

I want to unfriend her on Facebook but me her and our other team member communicate on it for our assignment. I don't want her to think I am stalking her on Facebook.

don't unfriend her if you need the contact for school. is that the reason you friended each other on FB? if it is she probably won't think you're stalking her. just stick to school stuff and if you can, just don't go overboard on commenting on or liking her posts. if you can help it pull back on that account if you've previously been too effusive so as not to give her cause to misconstrue any of your actions as stalking.

Thoughts_Arrive

catefrances said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

catefrances said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

So I met with her this morning to do out assignment, she said hi how was your weekend, what did you do. It was a bit awkward, after a bit of silence I apologised and she said please don't and then said that what I sent her on facebook she got creeped out by, I said it wasn't my intention and it is not who I am (a creep).

After the meeting she kind of walked away and sat down in the library, so I took it she didn't want to walk to the cafeteria with me. In the following lecture she was sitting in her usual seat, I sat away.
After the lecture I was waiting for another guy I know from uni as he said he'd catch the train home with me, so she left the lecture building and she had a minute or so head start walking towards the train station.

Me and the other guy ended up catching up to her at a pedestrian crossing as she was waiting for the green man, my friend then left me as he had to get a tram, leaving me and her to walk for a block to the subway station. I chatted like normal and so did she but when we got to the subway stairs entering the subway she kept her distance from me then when we got into the foyer she just turned towards a ticket machine without saying bye and I went through the gates and down 2 sets of escalators to the platform. At the second set of escalators going down she ran quickly down the stairs past me, didn't say anything, I guess she was rushing as her train was approaching and I had a 20 minute wait.

She's either wanting to distance herself from me due to me creeping her out or she's upset I didn't sit next to her so didn't say bye.

I feel so bad about how this has ended up, I feel like I have made an enemy. It's got me really stressed out, I didn't sleep well last night and my anxiety is high.

I think it best if you take your cues from her. it is clear she has an issue with you and you might not ever find out what it is. if she doesn't initiate contact then i'd steer clear of her. people are weird and do things that we sometimes can't understand... just look after yourself.

I want to unfriend her on Facebook but me her and our other team member communicate on it for our assignment. I don't want her to think I am stalking her on Facebook.

don't unfriend her if you need the contact for school. is that the reason you friended each other on FB? if it is she probably won't think you're stalking her. just stick to school stuff and if you can, just don't go overboard on commenting on or liking her posts. if you can help it pull back on that account if you've previously been too effusive so as not to give her cause to misconstrue any of your actions as stalking.

Yeah I suggested we communicate on Facebook as some students (like one in our group) don't check their student email account regularly. Nah I won't interact with her online unless she talks to me first. I guess she'll probably unfriend me once this assignment is done anyhow. I might make her an acquaintance so we don't see each other's activities on the newsfeed.

JWPearl

why dont you from your mouth just blow on her neck and ear and make her panties drop lol
jk..

Thoughts_Arrive

JWPearl said:

why dont you from your mouth just blow on her neck and ear and make her panties drop lol
jk..

She's creeped out by a video of her town, imagine I did that.

JWPearl

glad you saw the funny side..

Annafalk

Simplify, make life easier for yourself, think less.
Just keep on being a nice friend, nothing can go wrong with that, be open.

Thoughts_Arrive

Annafalk said:

Simplify, make life easier for yourself, think less.
Just keep on being a nice friend, nothing can go wrong with that, be open.

I tried today but she didn't want to be my friend.

JWPearl

what ever you do dont be too cold toward her or she may think your a psycho killer lol

Thoughts_Arrive

JWPearl said:

what ever you do dont be too cold toward her or she may think your a psycho killer lol

I hope by me not sitting next to her in the lecture isn't seen as too cold.
If I sat next to her she'd be uncomfortable.

JWPearl

thats true but smiling at the right time doesnt hurt out of politeness not out of interest

JWPearl

btw your not a loser your a learner get it right will ya..

Annafalk

Don't worry about it, there must be other girls you can talk to. She seems uncool anyway

Thoughts_Arrive

Thanks guys.
Yeah I will smile and or wave if I see her.
I have a class on Thursday with her, I guess I'll have to.

Yeah she doesn't seem to be on my wavelength. Didn't find it one bit interesting that I have written some songs and doesn't know who Pearl Jam are.

Degeneratefk

Be done with that crazy broad.

MayDay10

Degeneratefk said:

Be done with that crazy broad.

She is 18. Almost all broads are crazy at 18

Thoughts_Arrive

MayDay10 said:

Degeneratefk said:

Be done with that crazy broad.

She is 18. Almost all broads are crazy at 18

Makes me feel worse for being so stupid.

dimitrispearljam

talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things

Thoughts_Arrive

dimitrispearljam said:

talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things

I already did, today.

dimitrispearljam

Thoughts_Arrive said:

dimitrispearljam said:

talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things

I already did, today.

yep,just reading t5he thread,,that was my post at the your first post

2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird
2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants..
personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older