I'm sorry to hear things didn't go as smoothly as they might have, but your last paragraph is amping up my concern for you.
First, I wouldn't say you've made an enemy, but (harsh as this may sound, I'm sorry) you've definitely been "friend-zoned," I'd say. At this point, apologies have been made, so let it be, and just be friendly with her when you have to interact. It seems like she's overreacted to an extent (remember, we're only getting your side of the story here, again, sorry for any harshness), but it is what it is, all you have any control over is you.
Second, this is clearly REALLY eating at you (please believe me, I know the feeling). You're not sleeping, and anxiety's up. If it hasn't already, this will have a negative effect on your studies, which it sounds like where your focus needs to be right now. I hope I can speak for everyone here when I say we want you to be successful.
Unfortunately, I want to go back to earlier advice that you find out what resources are available to you to get more professional help to deal with your issues. As I said before, hopefully your family (at least) and friends will want to help you with whatever obstacles might present. Here in Canada, it was about a 6-month wait for a referral (I am also dependant on the public health system), and while the wait was frustrating, in the end it's been worth it. While the Internet will provide shoulders to lean on, we're not the ones to give the help you may need, and ultimately the heavy lifting will be up to you.
Not sure what else to say other than I hope the best for you, and wish I could give better advice on how to break these trains of thought (my fallback method's usually been distraction, which isn't really the best way).
Hopefully we'll also be hearing back that you made it to the metal show and had a blast.
All I did was send her that link to a video of her town and a pic of the shire from LOTR saying that's her town, I know it's stupid of me but we were teasing the places where we live. Thank you for your best wishes. Even my friends are upset at me for not taking their advice when they told me she doesn't sound like she's interested.
Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel defensive, I had read about the link, which seems innocent enough, and is why I agree with others that she overreacted. The point is to stop beating yourself up over it.
Unfortunately another elephant in the room is the age difference. I know going back to school at 35 with a bunch of 17-year-olds was an odd experience for me, and likely played a role in some of what I experienced. She's likely still got some growing up to do, if she's ok to joke about hometowns, but then turns around and reacts like she did to the link you sent.
Again, just want you to be successful and happy. Seriously, it looks like there are at least several others here that feel this way, so maybe I should just shut up now, lol?
Yeah I always felt uncomfortable, I am 32 soon just to clarify, still too old. She turns 19 soon. I thought she was interested in me, I misread her. I just remember when my sister and her boyfriend now husband got together she was 19 and he was 27. But that was generations ago. Girls I find are not as mature as girls from Gen X were at that age.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. All depends on the individuals involved, lol. I'm actually discovering how nice it can be to be 42 and single these days. I have the best kind of kids, for example: other people's, lol (parents, maybe you can dump on me via PM if you feel the need, so as to maintains the integrity of the thread, lol).
Yeah I was hoping it would, sometimes I think with my heart and emotion and not my head. If I were to go on a dating site my limit would be 23 yrs of age. Don't know what I was thinking with her. But I thought perhaps as we are both wanting to become teachers we'd both be on the same level.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
So I met with her this morning to do out assignment, she said hi how was your weekend, what did you do. It was a bit awkward, after a bit of silence I apologised and she said please don't and then said that what I sent her on facebook she got creeped out by, I said it wasn't my intention and it is not who I am (a creep).
After the meeting she kind of walked away and sat down in the library, so I took it she didn't want to walk to the cafeteria with me. In the following lecture she was sitting in her usual seat, I sat away. After the lecture I was waiting for another guy I know from uni as he said he'd catch the train home with me, so she left the lecture building and she had a minute or so head start walking towards the train station.
Me and the other guy ended up catching up to her at a pedestrian crossing as she was waiting for the green man, my friend then left me as he had to get a tram, leaving me and her to walk for a block to the subway station. I chatted like normal and so did she but when we got to the subway stairs entering the subway she kept her distance from me then when we got into the foyer she just turned towards a ticket machine without saying bye and I went through the gates and down 2 sets of escalators to the platform. At the second set of escalators going down she ran quickly down the stairs past me, didn't say anything, I guess she was rushing as her train was approaching and I had a 20 minute wait.
She's either wanting to distance herself from me due to me creeping her out or she's upset I didn't sit next to her so didn't say bye.
I feel so bad about how this has ended up, I feel like I have made an enemy. It's got me really stressed out, I didn't sleep well last night and my anxiety is high.
I think it best if you take your cues from her. it is clear she has an issue with you and you might not ever find out what it is. if she doesn't initiate contact then i'd steer clear of her. people are weird and do things that we sometimes can't understand... just look after yourself.
I want to unfriend her on Facebook but me her and our other team member communicate on it for our assignment. I don't want her to think I am stalking her on Facebook.
don't unfriend her if you need the contact for school. is that the reason you friended each other on FB? if it is she probably won't think you're stalking her. just stick to school stuff and if you can, just don't go overboard on commenting on or liking her posts. if you can help it pull back on that account if you've previously been too effusive so as not to give her cause to misconstrue any of your actions as stalking.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
So I met with her this morning to do out assignment, she said hi how was your weekend, what did you do. It was a bit awkward, after a bit of silence I apologised and she said please don't and then said that what I sent her on facebook she got creeped out by, I said it wasn't my intention and it is not who I am (a creep).
After the meeting she kind of walked away and sat down in the library, so I took it she didn't want to walk to the cafeteria with me. In the following lecture she was sitting in her usual seat, I sat away. After the lecture I was waiting for another guy I know from uni as he said he'd catch the train home with me, so she left the lecture building and she had a minute or so head start walking towards the train station.
Me and the other guy ended up catching up to her at a pedestrian crossing as she was waiting for the green man, my friend then left me as he had to get a tram, leaving me and her to walk for a block to the subway station. I chatted like normal and so did she but when we got to the subway stairs entering the subway she kept her distance from me then when we got into the foyer she just turned towards a ticket machine without saying bye and I went through the gates and down 2 sets of escalators to the platform. At the second set of escalators going down she ran quickly down the stairs past me, didn't say anything, I guess she was rushing as her train was approaching and I had a 20 minute wait.
She's either wanting to distance herself from me due to me creeping her out or she's upset I didn't sit next to her so didn't say bye.
I feel so bad about how this has ended up, I feel like I have made an enemy. It's got me really stressed out, I didn't sleep well last night and my anxiety is high.
I think it best if you take your cues from her. it is clear she has an issue with you and you might not ever find out what it is. if she doesn't initiate contact then i'd steer clear of her. people are weird and do things that we sometimes can't understand... just look after yourself.
I want to unfriend her on Facebook but me her and our other team member communicate on it for our assignment. I don't want her to think I am stalking her on Facebook.
don't unfriend her if you need the contact for school. is that the reason you friended each other on FB? if it is she probably won't think you're stalking her. just stick to school stuff and if you can, just don't go overboard on commenting on or liking her posts. if you can help it pull back on that account if you've previously been too effusive so as not to give her cause to misconstrue any of your actions as stalking.
Yeah I suggested we communicate on Facebook as some students (like one in our group) don't check their student email account regularly. Nah I won't interact with her online unless she talks to me first. I guess she'll probably unfriend me once this assignment is done anyhow. I might make her an acquaintance so we don't see each other's activities on the newsfeed.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things
I already did, today.
yep,just reading t5he thread,,that was my post at the your first post
2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird 2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants.. personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things
I already did, today.
yep,just reading t5he thread,,that was my post at the your first post
2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird 2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants.. personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older
Yeah I normally try for girls no younger than 23 but I find that is even too young for me. This girl was an exception. I was regretting asking her out soon after I did before she said I ceeeped her out. I felt she was keen on me because she walked fast to catch up to me as I was walking to the train station and she messaged me first on Facebook. So I thought I better ask her before I get friendzoned. I thought ok she is younger but was being open minded. Never going to try for a girl that young again. I will live with this regret. I just hope we don't end up in any more classes in future but most likely will see her in lectures as she is studying the same subject.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things
I already did, today.
yep,just reading t5he thread,,that was my post at the your first post
2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird 2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants.. personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older
Yeah I normally try for girls no younger than 23 but I find that is even too young for me. This girl was an exception. I was regretting asking her out soon after I did before she said I ceeeped her out. I felt she was keen on me because she walked fast to catch up to me as I was walking to the train station and she messaged me first on Facebook. So I thought I better ask her before I get friendzoned. I thought ok she is younger but was being open minded. Never going to try for a girl that young again. I will live with this regret. I just hope we don't end up in any more classes in future but most likely will see her in lectures as she is studying the same subject.
"Friendzone" is when a guy makes it way too obvious he is interested in a girl, turning her off romantically, and allowing her to kind of play with the guy the way a cat plays with a mouse. There is no turning back.
The key is, if you are attracted to a girl, don't make it obvious. Its like a card game, gotta keep it close to the vest. The girl 'friends' you on facebook and you immediately throw your cards face up on the table and ask her on a date. That's not a good move (and I could see it as potentially pretty overwhelming for an 18 year old girl). The right move would have to not accept her friend request for a few days, don't pay her too much 'direct' attention while in class/in the group, but allow your good qualities to shine out to be noticed (but not obvious). You have to make you giving time to her kind of a privilege to her.
talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things
I already did, today.
yep,just reading t5he thread,,that was my post at the your first post
2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird 2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants.. personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older
Yeah I normally try for girls no younger than 23 but I find that is even too young for me. This girl was an exception. I was regretting asking her out soon after I did before she said I ceeeped her out. I felt she was keen on me because she walked fast to catch up to me as I was walking to the train station and she messaged me first on Facebook. So I thought I better ask her before I get friendzoned. I thought ok she is younger but was being open minded. Never going to try for a girl that young again. I will live with this regret. I just hope we don't end up in any more classes in future but most likely will see her in lectures as she is studying the same subject.
"Friendzone" is when a guy makes it way too obvious he is interested in a girl, turning her off romantically, and allowing her to kind of play with the guy the way a cat plays with a mouse. There is no turning back.
The key is, if you are attracted to a girl, don't make it obvious. Its like a card game, gotta keep it close to the vest. The girl 'friends' you on facebook and you immediately throw your cards face up on the table and ask her on a date. That's not a good move (and I could see it as potentially pretty overwhelming for an 18 year old girl). The right move would have to not accept her friend request for a few days, don't pay her too much 'direct' attention while in class/in the group, but allow your good qualities to shine out to be noticed (but not obvious). You have to make you giving time to her kind of a privilege to her.
This sounds like a smart move, I also think that it's a good thing to be friends first. Love can grow from friendship.
Most girls like assholes. Fact. You have to learn to not be so nice if you want to get some play. Be dismissive and don't pay her any attention in class when she she is in the mood to talk to you.
Post edited by Amongst the Ani on
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
Most girls like assholes. Fact. You have to learn to not be so nice if you want to get some play. Be dismissive and don't pay her any attention in class when she she is in the mood to talk to her.
Typically, anything this dude says you should ignore. But the dude is spot on about that.
will myself to find a home, a home within myself we will find a way, we will find our place
Are you still taking your medication and seeing your psychiatrist? The one you were talking to last June about your issues at work?
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
Hey guys, I don't know who else to talk to and am quite emotional (in tears) at the moment. This girl in my lectures and classes who I sit next to at university sent me a blunt message on facebook this morning saying that I creep her out. I admit I like her and asked her out, she said she's working and I asked next time and she said yeah. That was over a month ago and I haven't asked her out again as I wasn't sure. Last night I sent her youtube link of a video of her town. I woke up this morning and found the following message on my phone which left me shocked and feeling cold.
"So I don't know if you think it's funny or cool but it's actually starting to really creep me out that your looking up where I live and send me links. I can't stop you from looking at what's in my town if you really are interested but could you please stop sending me links I know what my town looks like I've lived here for 18 years
Thank you"
I replied to that message apologising and saying I won't send any more links.
We always clown around and tease each other in classes so I was joking around with her town. I thought she'd laugh about it, find it funny. Her reaction is so against how she's replied to me in person before during class. She's lives far away from me on the opposite side of town and I've never been to her town so was curious to see what it looks like.
I don't see myself as a creep and didn't realise I was creeping her out. I feel so embarrassed and disgusted at myself now. I'll avoid her in uni, not sit next to her to give her space but I feel so terrible that I am thought of as a creep. Sucks we need to do a group assignment together and meet at uni every week to work on it, I don't know how to go about it. Do I just do my part and email to the group.
Ask your professor to be moved to a different group and steer clear of her. Not sure if Australia has any Title IX equivalent over there, but if you do, you are putting yourself at risk with continued contact. Don't let one person try to define you - clearly it's both her 'circus' and her 'monkeys'.
Hey guys, I don't know who else to talk to and am quite emotional (in tears) at the moment. This girl in my lectures and classes who I sit next to at university sent me a blunt message on facebook this morning saying that I creep her out. I admit I like her and asked her out, she said she's working and I asked next time and she said yeah. That was over a month ago and I haven't asked her out again as I wasn't sure. Last night I sent her youtube link of a video of her town. I woke up this morning and found the following message on my phone which left me shocked and feeling cold.
"So I don't know if you think it's funny or cool but it's actually starting to really creep me out that your looking up where I live and send me links. I can't stop you from looking at what's in my town if you really are interested but could you please stop sending me links I know what my town looks like I've lived here for 18 years
Thank you"
I replied to that message apologising and saying I won't send any more links.
We always clown around and tease each other in classes so I was joking around with her town. I thought she'd laugh about it, find it funny. Her reaction is so against how she's replied to me in person before during class. She's lives far away from me on the opposite side of town and I've never been to her town so was curious to see what it looks like.
I don't see myself as a creep and didn't realise I was creeping her out. I feel so embarrassed and disgusted at myself now. I'll avoid her in uni, not sit next to her to give her space but I feel so terrible that I am thought of as a creep. Sucks we need to do a group assignment together and meet at uni every week to work on it, I don't know how to go about it. Do I just do my part and email to the group.
Ask your professor to be moved to a different group and steer clear of her. Not sure if Australia has any Title IX equivalent over there, but if you do, you are putting yourself at risk with continued contact. Don't let one person try to define you - clearly it's both her 'circus' and her 'monkeys'.
I googled that. Not sure what you mean?
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Comments
If I were to go on a dating site my limit would be 23 yrs of age. Don't know what I was thinking with her. But I thought perhaps as we are both wanting to become teachers we'd both be on the same level.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
jk..
Just keep on being a nice friend, nothing can go wrong with that, be open.
If I sat next to her she'd be uncomfortable.
Yeah I will smile and or wave if I see her.
I have a class on Thursday with her, I guess I'll have to.
Yeah she doesn't seem to be on my wavelength. Didn't find it one bit interesting that I have written some songs and doesn't know who Pearl Jam are.
we will find a way, we will find our place
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird
2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants..
personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
The key is, if you are attracted to a girl, don't make it obvious. Its like a card game, gotta keep it close to the vest. The girl 'friends' you on facebook and you immediately throw your cards face up on the table and ask her on a date. That's not a good move (and I could see it as potentially pretty overwhelming for an 18 year old girl). The right move would have to not accept her friend request for a few days, don't pay her too much 'direct' attention while in class/in the group, but allow your good qualities to shine out to be noticed (but not obvious). You have to make you giving time to her kind of a privilege to her.
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
we will find a way, we will find our place
- Christopher McCandless
Starts at 1:23
******Also, if the girl doesn't love Pearl Jam...there's your first red flag.******
Actually, that's not true. I love Pearl Jam and I'm a nightmare.