A girl told me I creep her out

JWPearl

fair enough..

Thoughts_Arrive

JWPearl said:

fair enough..

Doesn't seem like you believe me, oh well.
I guess once again I get misunderstood.
If I didn't find her attractive I wouldn't have asked her out.
What I am trying to say she is not the most beautiful girl in the world if you compare her to what the media portray as beautiful and how other girls at uni model themselves on which is why I put the word prettier in quotation marks.
I am attracted to her eyes, her hair, her smile, her tall height, her body shape.

JWPearl

i do believe you
i meant what i said
wasnt sarcasm my friend..

Thoughts_Arrive

Please remember I said "prettier" not prettier.
If I found other girls prettier in uni I would've asked them out.

Enkidu

That is a very shallow opinion to have of someone you "like" and even far more concerning is to have an opinion like that towards women. You will go nowhere with this girl harbouring that attitude and you will be more hurt if she ever finds out that's how you really feel about her.
"Way prettier girls"? Really?
She would not like to hear that and certainly would not like to be told that, and most certainly would not like to discover such things written about her on social media.

I find her beautiful, I am attracted to her. I was tyring to saying she's not like a cat walk supermodel pretty or hollywood actress pretty, she is pretty in her own way. My reply was to the post before mine, I was just trying to say she's not using some sort of ''superior'' looks to have me hooked. I never said she is ugly.

I didn't think your comment was shallow - maybe it's because I was always the "cute" girl, not the "supermodel gorgeous" girl. Ha ha! To me it sounded more like you were attracted to all of her - her brain, her personality... it wasn't just about her looks. That's how I took it.

Thoughts_Arrive

Enkidu said:

That is a very shallow opinion to have of someone you "like" and even far more concerning is to have an opinion like that towards women. You will go nowhere with this girl harbouring that attitude and you will be more hurt if she ever finds out that's how you really feel about her.
"Way prettier girls"? Really?
She would not like to hear that and certainly would not like to be told that, and most certainly would not like to discover such things written about her on social media.

I find her beautiful, I am attracted to her. I was tyring to saying she's not like a cat walk supermodel pretty or hollywood actress pretty, she is pretty in her own way. My reply was to the post before mine, I was just trying to say she's not using some sort of ''superior'' looks to have me hooked. I never said she is ugly.

I didn't think your comment was shallow - maybe it's because I was always the "cute" girl, not the "supermodel gorgeous" girl. Ha ha! To me it sounded more like you were attracted to all of her - her brain, her personality... it wasn't just about her looks. That's how I took it.




Thank you! Someone gets me.
I prefer cute girls not supermodel girls with the typical big breasts, hot ass, tanned skin etc.

hedonist

Same here, E. And rock on to you Mr! I can relate, so much. My guy would say the same.

To Mr. Thoughts, stumbling is part of find footing. So is saying fuck-you to naysayers. You are your best advocate and when you start losing sight of that? Come on back here for a reminder.

FoxyRedLa

Lmao! Hot ass

Supermodel isn't real life. I see hundreds of people on a daily basis at work. I have yet to find a supermodel in person. But the beauty you speak of - yes. Now that I see numerous times a day.

MayDay10

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I am 31, soon to be 32.
There's a big age gap between us anyway. Sucks there's not many people my age at uni.
They are either too old for me or too young.
I don't go out to bars and clubs, I don't like internet dating. What's a guy like me to do to meet someone?

Not sure out there in aus... but if i were single.... it seems like bookstores/coffeeshops are great places to chill out, read, hang out... and there are always women there. That would be the place.

I have seen you start various threads here with difficulty with girls. I dont know the whole story... but it seems like you come on too strong, too obvious/deliberate. For the most part, most girls are turned away by that... especially if you also portray insecurity/nervousness. If this girl is normal university age, say 19-22 and your 31, i could see how she could be slightly uncomfortable with advances.

Its tough to deal with the opposite sex if you are an introvert and have self esteem issues. Its a lethal combo and girls can smell it 100 miles away. I dealt with it a very long time for sure. You need to attain a level of comfortability with who you are and a level of dont give a fuckness. I dont mean dont be compassionate about others or turn into a jerk anything. I mean when you speak to women you may potentially be interested in, you dont feel like every word is make or break. There are like 3.5 billion females in the world. 1 you!

Thoughts_Arrive

MayDay10 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I am 31, soon to be 32.
There's a big age gap between us anyway. Sucks there's not many people my age at uni.
They are either too old for me or too young.
I don't go out to bars and clubs, I don't like internet dating. What's a guy like me to do to meet someone?

Not sure out there in aus... but if i were single.... it seems like bookstores/coffeeshops are great places to chill out, read, hang out... and there are always women there. That would be the place.

I have seen you start various threads here with difficulty with girls. I dont know the whole story... but it seems like you come on too strong, too obvious/deliberate. For the most part, most girls are turned away by that... especially if you also portray insecurity/nervousness. If this girl is normal university age, say 19-22 and your 31, i could see how she could be slightly uncomfortable with advances.

Its tough to deal with the opposite sex if you are an introvert and have self esteem issues. Its a lethal combo and girls can smell it 100 miles away. I dealt with it a very long time for sure. You need to attain a level of comfortability with who you are and a level of dont give a fuckness. I dont mean dont be compassionate about others or turn into a jerk anything. I mean when you speak to women you may potentially be interested in, you dont feel like every word is make or break. There are like 3.5 billion females in the world. 1 you!

Yeah I guess I do come across too strong.
My friend keeps telling me that.
One girl my friend tried to hook me up with told me she is not interested because I reminder her of her dad who she hates.

PJfanwillneverleave1

Thoughts_Arrive said:

MayDay10 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I am 31, soon to be 32.
There's a big age gap between us anyway. Sucks there's not many people my age at uni.
They are either too old for me or too young.
I don't go out to bars and clubs, I don't like internet dating. What's a guy like me to do to meet someone?

Not sure out there in aus... but if i were single.... it seems like bookstores/coffeeshops are great places to chill out, read, hang out... and there are always women there. That would be the place.

I have seen you start various threads here with difficulty with girls. I dont know the whole story... but it seems like you come on too strong, too obvious/deliberate. For the most part, most girls are turned away by that... especially if you also portray insecurity/nervousness. If this girl is normal university age, say 19-22 and your 31, i could see how she could be slightly uncomfortable with advances.

Its tough to deal with the opposite sex if you are an introvert and have self esteem issues. Its a lethal combo and girls can smell it 100 miles away. I dealt with it a very long time for sure. You need to attain a level of comfortability with who you are and a level of dont give a fuckness. I dont mean dont be compassionate about others or turn into a jerk anything. I mean when you speak to women you may potentially be interested in, you dont feel like every word is make or break. There are like 3.5 billion females in the world. 1 you!

Yeah I guess I do come across too strong.
My friend keeps telling me that.
blockquote>

PJfanwillneverleave1

Maybe you should listen to that.
You just changed your avatar to say "I am a loser".
Pretty strong.

MayDay10

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Yeah I guess I do come across too strong.
My friend keeps telling me that.

Yeah. Sounds like it by this and your other situations from the past and the fact that a friend is telling you...

I comment in your threads because i felt your pain at various times.

Its like a card game. Women dont like it when you show your cards off the bat. You have to play closer to the vest. Be mysterious.

I was living away from home for awhile and i happened to meet this girl. I found her on myspace we were from the same hometown. We hung out a few times as friends. She came over and i was watching a hockey game with my friend. She was heading to this other guys house (who she was kind of interested in) for a party. I didnt give a shit because i just wanted to watch the hockey game (and she was more than welcome to stay). She went. I didnt try to prevent it, didnt contact her that night or the next day. Maybe the day after that. She reached out to me a couple of days later and wanted to do dinner
My wife cites that hockey game night as the night i "got her attention".

Thoughts_Arrive

My friend's bandmate just invited me to their bands gig in the same town this girl lives, what are the chances ay? Imagine I told her I am going to her town, she'd definitely think I am stalking her and creep out for sure. I felt sick when I saw the name of the town when he told me where the gig is. I want to go but imagine she's at the same venue?

Thoughts_Arrive

MayDay10 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Yeah I guess I do come across too strong.
My friend keeps telling me that.

Yeah. Sounds like it by this and your other situations from the past and the fact that a friend is telling you...

I comment in your threads because i felt your pain at various times.

Its like a card game. Women dont like it when you show your cards off the bat. You have to play closer to the vest. Be mysterious.

I was living away from home for awhile and i happened to meet this girl. I found her on myspace we were from the same hometown. We hung out a few times as friends. She came over and i was watching a hockey game with my friend. She was heading to this other guys house (who she was kind of interested in) for a party. I didnt give a shit because i just wanted to watch the hockey game (and she was more than welcome to stay). She went. I didnt try to prevent it, didnt contact her that night or the next day. Maybe the day after that. She reached out to me a couple of days later and wanted to do dinner
My wife cites that hockey game night as the night i "got her attention".

Funny how it works ay.
My friend told me they are like cats. If you pat them too much they scratch or bite you and run off.

DarthMaeglin

Thoughts_Arrive said:

My friend's bandmate just invited me to their bands gig in the same town this girl lives, what are the chances ay? Imagine I told her I am going to her town, she'd definitely think I am stalking her and creep out for sure. I felt sick when I saw the name of the town when he told me where the gig is. I want to go but imagine she's at the same venue?

This may be a bit simplistic, but if you want to go for reasons other than her, you should just go, I think. I wouldn't mention it to her, and if (when) you go, don't look out for her (it'll be a bit difficult, but let yourself get into the band, since that's your reason for being there. If she should by chance be there (not likely, I suspect), let her find you.

As far as the meeting later, likely best to keep to business, but let things take their natural turns (if they do so).

I can sympathize with some of your story, I went back to school for a bit at 35 (please finish your program, unlike me, lol), and had discovered a classmate (whom I hadn't actually spoken with) on Facebook. I sent a friend request, and her status changed to "OMG I think I have an online stalker!" I apologized and backed off, but always felt a bit uncomfortable when she was around. Later a different classmate had posted a picture of me with the label "The stalker, lol." That classmate was dealt with a little more harshly by me, lol. I'm also still dealing with depression and have the tendency to overthink things some as well. Glad to hear you're aware of your issues and are working to ameliorate them. Took me a decade to face some of mine, lol.

As has been suggested, just stay true to yourself and don't beat yourself up too much over this, sounds like it was a simple misunderstanding, and she was the one to overreact. While she sounds nice and has given rise to some strong feelings from you, her loss should be turned into someone else's gain (as well as yours). As clichéd as it may sound, there are plenty of fish in the seas.

Seriously, all the best, and best of luck with your studies!

I should also add, when considering this post, please bear in mind my profile quote, lol.

PJ_Soul

Degeneratefk said:

Find another woman.

Don't get mixed into her crazy before the first date!

Basically this. The girl is, at the very least, fickle and thin-skinned. At worst, she's mean and insensitive. I think she totally overreacted and handled it very badly. She obviously misread your intentions and motivation with the link, which is fine really. It happens. But she handled it very poorly and rudely. From your story, it seems like she is the one who should be apologizing to you, not the other way around. But since that will obviously not happen I think you should cut your losses and be glad that you avoided dating this chick. I don't think you should go out of your way to avoid places she will be at. Just be you and she can be her, spending her time being totally creeped out by the slightest little thing.

Thoughts_Arrive

DarthMaeglin said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

My friend's bandmate just invited me to their bands gig in the same town this girl lives, what are the chances ay? Imagine I told her I am going to her town, she'd definitely think I am stalking her and creep out for sure. I felt sick when I saw the name of the town when he told me where the gig is. I want to go but imagine she's at the same venue?

This may be a bit simplistic, but if you want to go for reasons other than her, you should just go, I think. I wouldn't mention it to her, and if (when) you go, don't look out for her (it'll be a bit difficult, but let yourself get into the band, since that's your reason for being there. If she should by chance be there (not likely, I suspect), let her find you.

As far as the meeting later, likely best to keep to business, but let things take their natural turns (if they do so).

I can sympathize with some of your story, I went back to school for a bit at 35 (please finish your program, unlike me, lol), and had discovered a classmate (whom I hadn't actually spoken with) on Facebook. I sent a friend request, and her status changed to "OMG I think I have an online stalker!" I apologized and backed off, but always felt a bit uncomfortable when she was around. Later a different classmate had posted a picture of me with the label "The stalker, lol." That classmate was dealt with a little more harshly by me, lol. I'm also still dealing with depression and have the tendency to overthink things some as well. Glad to hear you're aware of your issues and are working to ameliorate them. Took me a decade to face some of mine, lol.

As has been suggested, just stay true to yourself and don't beat yourself up too much over this, sounds like it was a simple misunderstanding, and she was the one to overreact. While she sounds nice and has given rise to some strong feelings from you, her loss should be turned into someone else's gain (as well as yours). As clichéd as it may sound, there are plenty of fish in the seas.

Seriously, all the best, and best of luck with your studies!

I should also add, when considering this post, please bear in mind my profile quote, lol.

Thank you. :-)
I doubt she will be there as she's not into metal music and she tells me she works most weekends.
I always share my friend's bands flyers on Facebook to try get people to come and I click I am going to the events on facebook so she'll see it for sure that I will be in her town.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJ_Soul said:

Degeneratefk said:

Find another woman.

Don't get mixed into her crazy before the first date!

Basically this. The girl is, at the very least, fickle and thin-skinned. At worst, she's mean and insensitive. I think she totally overreacted and handled it very badly. She obviously misread your intentions and motivation with the link, which is fine really. It happens. But she handled it very poorly and rudely. From your story, it seems like she is the one who should be apologizing to you, not the other way around. But since that will obviously not happen I think you should cut your losses and be glad that you avoided dating this chick. I don't think you should go out of your way to avoid places she will be at. Just be you and she can be her, spending her time being totally creeped out by the slightest little thing.

Should I tell her that I think she overreacted tomorrow when we meet up for the assignment?
Or just say I am sorry I made her feel that way and it was not my intention and I am glad she told me and it won't happen again?
I still feel very shit about this, lacking motivation for my homework this weekend and taking forever to get out of bed.

hedonist

Maybe try to see it's not as huge as your mindspace is making it out to be, for all this time.

If you're serious about getting past this, then please seek out the resources that are there and available to help you HELP YOURSELF.

Don't know what else to offer.