A girl told me I creep her out

Thoughts_Arrive

RKCNDY said:

Are you still taking your medication and seeing your psychiatrist? The one you were talking to last June about your issues at work?

Yeah. Saw him two weeks ago and I was feeling better with a change in medication.

Thoughts_Arrive

Annafalk said:

MayDay10 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

dimitrispearljam said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

dimitrispearljam said:

talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things

I already did, today.

yep,just reading t5he thread,,that was my post at the your first post

2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird
2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants..
personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older

Yeah I normally try for girls no younger than 23 but I find that is even too young for me. This girl was an exception. I was regretting asking her out soon after I did before she said I ceeeped her out. I felt she was keen on me because she walked fast to catch up to me as I was walking to the train station and she messaged me first on Facebook. So I thought I better ask her before I get friendzoned. I thought ok she is younger but was being open minded. Never going to try for a girl that young again. I will live with this regret. I just hope we don't end up in any more classes in future but most likely will see her in lectures as she is studying the same subject.

"Friendzone" is when a guy makes it way too obvious he is interested in a girl, turning her off romantically, and allowing her to kind of play with the guy the way a cat plays with a mouse. There is no turning back.

The key is, if you are attracted to a girl, don't make it obvious. Its like a card game, gotta keep it close to the vest. The girl 'friends' you on facebook and you immediately throw your cards face up on the table and ask her on a date. That's not a good move (and I could see it as potentially pretty overwhelming for an 18 year old girl). The right move would have to not accept her friend request for a few days, don't pay her too much 'direct' attention while in class/in the group, but allow your good qualities to shine out to be noticed (but not obvious). You have to make you giving time to her kind of a privilege to her.

This sounds like a smart move, I also think that it's a good thing to be friends first. Love can grow from friendship.

I thought I was being a friend first :-(

RKCNDY

Thoughts_Arrive said:

RKCNDY said:

Are you still taking your medication and seeing your psychiatrist? The one you were talking to last June about your issues at work?

Yeah. Saw him two weeks ago and I was feeling better with a change in medication.

that's good. I hope you understand that there is only so much the people here can do to help you out. You mentioned that your mates were upset because you didn't follow their suggestions to leave her alone, and then you came here. Is there a reason you didn't listen to them? Obviously you trust them somewhat since you do talk to them. They know you better than any of us here, your psychiatrist knows you better then we do. They are your best resources when you have issues, but at some point you're going to have to live your own life for yourself, rather than depending on other people to tell you what to do and how to live your life.

Thoughts_Arrive

RKCNDY said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

RKCNDY said:

Are you still taking your medication and seeing your psychiatrist? The one you were talking to last June about your issues at work?

Yeah. Saw him two weeks ago and I was feeling better with a change in medication.

that's good. I hope you understand that there is only so much the people here can do to help you out. You mentioned that your mates were upset because you didn't follow their suggestions to leave her alone, and then you came here. Is there a reason you didn't listen to them? Obviously you trust them somewhat since you do talk to them. They know you better than any of us here, your psychiatrist knows you better then we do. They are your best resources when you have issues, but at some point you're going to have to live your own life for yourself, rather than depending on other people to tell you what to do and how to live your life.

Yeah I know. I wouldn't listen to them as I didn't accept that this girl wasn't interested. I felt that she was.

RKCNDY

she was probably trying to be nice instead of telling you to 'get the fuck away from me'. You are old enough to be her dad, and that's very unnerving for her. I went on a blind date with a guy who didn't tell me his age until the end. I was 18 and he was 34, that IS creepy. You really should stick to girls 25+. Just be cordial towards her, drop the subject of previous events, move forward.

Thoughts_Arrive

RKCNDY said:

she was probably trying to be nice instead of telling you to 'get the fuck away from me'. You are old enough to be her dad, and that's very unnerving for her. I went on a blind date with a guy who didn't tell me his age until the end. I was 18 and he was 34, that IS creepy. You really should stick to girls 25+. Just be cordial towards her, drop the subject of previous events, move forward.

Yeah this one was out of the norm and I am ashamed about it. Never again.

Amongst the Ani

Don't be ashamed about it. Thanks to some bad parenting a lot of women are into older men.

MayDay10

don't be ashamed at all. Look forward. Learning and improving every day

Thoughts_Arrive

I was just thinking the big age gap worked for both my sisters. I was wrong.

Thoughts_Arrive

Told you people I am a loser.

Thoughts_Arrive

I guess despair and desparation played a big part

Amongst the Ani

Girls like confidence and assholes which go hand in hand. Find another cute girl in your class and make sure this one sees you talking with her.

Thoughts_Arrive

Amongst the Ani said:

Girls like confidence and assholes which go hand in hand. Find another cute girl in your class and make sure this one sees you talking with her.

No more. They're all 19-20

pjhawks

to add to what i said above, and i hope the women on here don't take this the wrong way, but realize that woman are basically nuts i still can't figure out what women are thinking from day to day.

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Told you people I am a loser.

you are not a loser at all. just confused about a situation. stop sweating it and beating yourself up about it. if you have friends i doubt they think you are a loser. oh and stop trying to figure out women and their actions. it's impossible. often times there is no reasonable explanations for how women act, especially younger women.

polaris_x

there are tons of 18 year olds dating 35 year olds ... it's not really about the age ... check out this story ...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/7155867/Woman-creeped-out-when-man-she-met-online-sent-her-a-Tesco-delivery-of-her-favourite-foods-after-just-ONE-DATE.html

she says she was creeped out while her friends thought the gesture was adorable ... creeped out is so subjective ... you could walk down the street and be minding your own business and someone could say you creeped them out ... you didn't do anything wrong ... don't feel too bad about it ... if you like someone - ask them out ...

hedonist

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Told you people I am a loser.

Occasionally failing, reading things / people incorrectly, etc...part of being a human being. It's how you handle it, handle yourself, and whether or not you learn from those events.

To jump to "I'm a loser" so quickly - even changing your av to that - I hope you do seek out your psychiatrist again (sounds like you saw them a couple weeks ago? Another visit could be in order).

OffSheGoes35

Someday you won't even remember this girl's name. Just keep playing guitar. You need someone who will appreciate how cool that is.

Attaway77

I'm gonna tell you what man, you need to let this go and move on, just be done with it. Don't even question it anymore. Sooner you do the better you'll become down the road. Love, infatuations, life, etc can be a complicated journey at times, but when we count our chips and know it's time to keep what we have left (dignity, self respect, etc), walk away. Life is a beautiful thing and we only get it once, don't waste anymore of yours with something like this cause that's just another moment the one you're meant to fall in love with is walking past you everyday. Be strong, be cool, keep faith, listen to music and love your life… Eventually it all falls into place and makes sense.

ldent42

Thoughts_Arrive said:

RKCNDY said:

Are you still taking your medication and seeing your psychiatrist? The one you were talking to last June about your issues at work?

Yeah. Saw him two weeks ago and I was feeling better with a change in medication.

Didn't you tell me earlier in this thread that you don't see a therapist cuz you can't afford one?

Thoughts_Arrive

ldent42 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

RKCNDY said:

Are you still taking your medication and seeing your psychiatrist? The one you were talking to last June about your issues at work?

Yeah. Saw him two weeks ago and I was feeling better with a change in medication.

Didn't you tell me earlier in this thread that you don't see a therapist cuz you can't afford one?

I get 2 free consultations with this psychiatrist per year. My psychologist who I am comfortable talking to charges $200 for 50 minutes. My psychiatrist just checks to see how medication is going 3 months after prescribing and then 9 months later.

SmallestOceans

Drop the leash, move on, find somebody else. Don't care too much about what people think about you.

catefrances

dimitrispearljam said:

talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things

text messaging is so much bullshit... especially when it goes beyond courtesy texts and the other person wants to have a full blown convo. you wanna talk to me friggin' call me. HATE it!

PJfanwillneverleave1

catefrances said:

dimitrispearljam said:

talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things

text messaging is so much bullshit... especially when it goes beyond courtesy texts and the other person wants to have a full blown convo. you wanna talk to me friggin' call me. HATE it!

It is a wild ride watching youth live through their phones (not you op)

EarlWelsh

Next time she kicks you from behind, turn around and say "fuckin' knock it off, ya creep"....in her face and loud. Terrible advice but that's what I would do if I could relive my college days and had a similar situation.

mickeyrat

Thoughts_Arrive said:

dimitrispearljam said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

dimitrispearljam said:

talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things

I already did, today.

yep,just reading t5he thread,,that was my post at the your first post

2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird
2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants..
personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older

Yeah I normally try for girls no younger than 23 but I find that is even too young for me. This girl was an exception. I was regretting asking her out soon after I did before she said I ceeeped her out. I felt she was keen on me because she walked fast to catch up to me as I was walking to the train station and she messaged me first on Facebook. So I thought I better ask her before I get friendzoned. I thought ok she is younger but was being open minded. Never going to try for a girl that young again. I will live with this regret. I just hope we don't end up in any more classes in future but most likely will see her in lectures as she is studying the same subject.

I suggest trying the "not trying" method in the future. just be. thats it. just fucking be. what comes, comes.

ehbacon

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Hey guys,
I don't know who else to talk to and am quite emotional (in tears) at the moment.
This girl in my lectures and classes who I sit next to at university sent me a blunt message on facebook this morning saying that I creep her out. I admit I like her and asked her out, she said she's working and I asked next time and she said yeah. That was over a month ago and I haven't asked her out again as I wasn't sure. Last night I sent her youtube link of a video of her town.
I woke up this morning and found the following message on my phone which left me shocked and feeling cold.

"So I don't know if you think it's funny or cool but it's actually starting to really creep me out that your looking up where I live and send me links. I can't stop you from looking at what's in my town if you really are interested but could you please stop sending me links I know what my town looks like I've lived here for 18 years

Thank you"

I replied to that message apologising and saying I won't send any more links.

We always clown around and tease each other in classes so I was joking around with her town. I thought she'd laugh about it, find it funny.
Her reaction is so against how she's replied to me in person before during class.
She's lives far away from me on the opposite side of town and I've never been to her town so was curious to see what it looks like.

I don't see myself as a creep and didn't realise I was creeping her out. I feel so embarrassed and disgusted at myself now.
I'll avoid her in uni, not sit next to her to give her space but I feel so terrible that I am thought of as a creep.
Sucks we need to do a group assignment together and meet at uni every week to work on it, I don't know how to go about it.
Do I just do my part and email to the group.

Ask your professor to be moved to a different group and steer clear of her. Not sure if Australia has any Title IX equivalent over there, but if you do, you are putting yourself at risk with continued contact. Don't let one person try to define you - clearly it's both her 'circus' and her 'monkeys'.

Title IX? Isn't that the equal pay act? and prohibits gender discrimination? I don't understand the connection?

Malroth

Embrace the creep.

Unless your Jared Fogle,( or have tendencies in that spectrum), it just means your different.
It means your unique. It means you may look like Steve Buschemi.

hedonist

Malroth said:

Embrace the creep.

Unless your Jared Fogle,( or have tendencies in that spectrum), it just means your different.
It means your unique. It means you may look like Steve Buschemi.

Gah. I love Buscemi. And I love weird and unique as well. Ended up marrying one of those types

Thing is, it's important to see and respect other people's boundaries, to see outside of yourself. To not push it.

My first real serious relationship (I was 23, he was 32), he wanted to move in together after six or so weeks. I told him no, too soon, please don't rush me.

He rushed me, and that was it.

I don't think that's even a gender thing, just a human thing.

Thoughts_Arrive

She sat away from her usual seat in today's lecture and left the lecture early which she has never done before. Probably to avoid me walking to the train station afterwards. I feel like I am making her flee from me and it's making me feel uneasy.
I have two classes with her tomorrow one which I need to sit at a table with her to work together on our assignment.
I wish trouble would leave me alone.

deadendp

hedonist said:

Malroth said:

Embrace the creep.

Unless your Jared Fogle,( or have tendencies in that spectrum), it just means your different.
It means your unique. It means you may look like Steve Buschemi.

Gah. I love Buscemi. And I love weird and unique as well. Ended up marrying one of those types

Thing is, it's important to see and respect other people's boundaries, to see outside of yourself. To not push it.

My first real serious relationship (I was 23, he was 32), he wanted to move in together after six or so weeks. I told him no, too soon, please don't rush me.

He rushed me, and that was it.

I don't think that's even a gender thing, just a human thing.

I had a wedding proposal after a month and a half or so. Put the brakes on that one. He was 4 years older. I don't know if he was desperate because his friends were getting married. BTW, he was not the man I married.