A girl told me I creep her out

Thoughts_Arrive

Hey guys,
I don't know who else to talk to and am quite emotional (in tears) at the moment.
This girl in my lectures and classes who I sit next to at university sent me a blunt message on facebook this morning saying that I creep her out. I admit I like her and asked her out, she said she's working and I asked next time and she said yeah. That was over a month ago and I haven't asked her out again as I wasn't sure. Last night I sent her youtube link of a video of her town.
I woke up this morning and found the following message on my phone which left me shocked and feeling cold.

"So I don't know if you think it's funny or cool but it's actually starting to really creep me out that your looking up where I live and send me links. I can't stop you from looking at what's in my town if you really are interested but could you please stop sending me links I know what my town looks like I've lived here for 18 years

Thank you"

I replied to that message apologising and saying I won't send any more links.

We always clown around and tease each other in classes so I was joking around with her town. I thought she'd laugh about it, find it funny.
Her reaction is so against how she's replied to me in person before during class.
She's lives far away from me on the opposite side of town and I've never been to her town so was curious to see what it looks like.

I don't see myself as a creep and didn't realise I was creeping her out. I feel so embarrassed and disgusted at myself now.
I'll avoid her in uni, not sit next to her to give her space but I feel so terrible that I am thought of as a creep.
Sucks we need to do a group assignment together and meet at uni every week to work on it, I don't know how to go about it.
Do I just do my part and email to the group.

hedonist

Maybe talk to her in person next time, clear the air?

I'm really sorry her words hurt you so much. You've always struck me as a nice enough, insightful and funny guy.

Degeneratefk

Find another woman.

Don't get mixed into her crazy before the first date!

deadendp

First, I'm sorry.

Secondly, don't put your grades at risk just because some chick claims that she finds you creepy. Carry on with your group as if this didn't occur, but I'd choose a different place to sit.

If there is an opportunity, in public but not surrounded by these people in your group, that you are able to talk with her about it, I'd say go for it. I would avoid the social media thing with her again, as she has already taken you the wrong way anyhow. Social media isn't always the answer. (Though I see that I am using it right now.)

I agree with Hedo and DF. Let those scars heal. I'm so very sorry that she is making you feel this way. Hang in there. I promise that not every woman is like her.

Enkidu

I had the same thought - if she would send a message like that even though she's been joking around and nice in person - something's off with her. But it might be nice to clear the air.

FoxyRedLa

I don't know what I think of this, other than kinda pissed off. How do you go from being friendly and teasing to calling someone a creep.....?

The Waiting Trophy Man

Try to find humour in everything. Laugh it off. Don't take anything too seriously. You're not a creep. Something wrong on her end.

Thoughts_Arrive

I had a class with her yesterday afternoon and she was being playful with me (kicked me as she was walking behind me) and there were laughs as we were walking to the train station after class finished, she even gave me the middle finger as a joke. I can't believe what she sent me.
Yes I admit I did perhaps go over the top with her town, sending her links I thought she'd find funny but I didn't think she'd feel creeped out and uncomfortable like I am stalking her.

Degeneratefk

Are you sure that's the only link you've sent her? She may have felt you were being too pushy.

Thoughts_Arrive

It was only that and a pic. No more.

RKCNDY

Did you send her a pic of a body part?

Thoughts_Arrive

RKCNDY said:

Did you send her a pic of a body part?

I don't know if you are joking or not but no I didn't.

deadendp

Could it be that maybe she was drinking or under the influence of something else the other night and maybe lost her general self in the middle of whatever it could be?

Thoughts_Arrive

Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

PJfanwillneverleave1

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.

How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?

chadwick

i'll admit i'm not at all backing you up with your picture sending move, that was not a good idea at all, don't do that. in class be chill & come across like this never happened. sometime in person just say you meant nothing by it & all is well. again chill & calm, smooth as glass, aint no thing.

let her know you're a guitarist

hedonist

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.

How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?

Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.

Thoughts_Arrive

chadwick said:

i'll admit i'm not at all backing you up with your picture sending move, that was not a good idea at all, don't do that. in class be chill & come across like this never happened. sometime in person just say you meant nothing by it & all is well. again chill & calm, smooth as glass, aint no thing.

let her know you're a guitarist

Thanks chad.
She knows I am but doesn't seem interested in that. She's not into music like I am.
I'm going to sit away from her but still say hi if she sees me.

Thoughts_Arrive

hedonist said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.

How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?

Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.

Thank you.

chadwick

well, dude, people who don't full on enjoy music might should be fed to salt water crocs, true/false?

you could always kick her in the shins .... i kid i kid

tell her pearl jam puts out vinyl albums for sale & that she's a dork for not having any

Thoughts_Arrive

chadwick said:

well, dude, people who don't full on enjoy music might should be fed to salt water crocs, true/false?

you could always kick her in the shins .... i kid i kid

tell her pearl jam puts out vinyl albums for sale & that she's a dork for not having any

True I say lol.
She doesn't know who Pearl Jam are sadly.

PJfanwillneverleave1

Thoughts_Arrive said:

hedonist said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.

How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?

Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.

Thank you.

You're on your own OP.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

hedonist said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.

How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?

Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.

Thank you.

You're on your own OP.

WTF are you on about?

deadendp

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

hedonist said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.

This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.

How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?

Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.

Thank you.

You're on your own OP.

WTF are you on about?

No one ever knows. It isn't just you.

Annafalk

At least she told you how she felt getting that picture. She didn't understood the fun that you saw with it apparently. Just don't worry about it.

brianlux

If she's open to listening, I'd tell her what your intentions were with the picture emphasizing that there was no ill will and that you only had good intentions. Tell her you're sorry that it didn't come across that way. If that doesn't satisfy her then maybe strongly considering letting it go and move on- I know that's easier said than done sometimes but better to nip your feeling in the bud earlier rather than later, especially if she can't/won't consider a sincere apology. At that point it becomes her loss. You're a good guy Thoughts and you deserve the same!

Thoughts_Arrive

Just to clear it up, it was a video of her town and the picture was the shire from LOTR, it was a joke as that part of town is nice compared to my part. There was nothing sexually inappropriate or offensive about what I sent.

mfc2006

Shake it off.

No big deal. She's not the one for you, man!

Thoughts_Arrive

brianlux said:

If she's open to listening, I'd tell her what your intentions were with the picture emphasizing that there was no ill will and that you only had good intentions. Tell her you're sorry that it didn't come across that way. If that doesn't satisfy her then maybe strongly considering letting it go and move on- I know that's easier said than done sometimes but better to nip your feeling in the bud earlier rather than later, especially if she can't/won't consider a sincere apology. At that point it becomes her loss. You're a good guy Thoughts and you deserve the same!

Thank you Brian. I don't feel comfortable sitting next to her in the remaining lectures and classes this semester because if she finds me creepy I want to give her space and plus it makes me feel uncomfortable knowing someone is uncomfortable.
I want to unfriend her on facebook but me and this other girl in a group assignment use chat to communicate about our work.
Feeling pretty terrible at the moment, looks like I lack social skills and am just weird.
I reckon I gave a motivational speaker I met the other night a weird vibe too as he was keen to end the conversation. I went up to him after his speech and said I've been following his videos online and they mean a lot to me, but because I was lost for words he looked uncomfortable.
Never had a girlfriend, never will. I suck.
I've been managing my depression well up until today. Why am I such a loser?
It's Friday the 13th, guess it got me.

Thoughts_Arrive

This song was made for a guy like me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMBVzcjPiyo