A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

HughFreakingDillon

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I'm too damaged by my upbringing to ever be able to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

no one is ever too damaged. therapy (and distance) work wonders. 

HughFreakingDillon

Thoughts_Arrive said:

My dad is her doormat.

I know why she's unhappy, she says why all the time. There's no point trying with her.

that's really too bad that she's also abusive to him and he's too damaged to help you. that happens. 

Thoughts_Arrive

He's never stood up to her. She's definitely the dominant one.

Matts3221

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I'm too damaged by my upbringing to ever be able to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

no one is ever too damaged. therapy (and distance) work wonders. 

Very true , grew up with an abusive father who beat and verbal abused me and my mom. He passed when I was 18 from cancer and as said as it may sound , my fathers passing was the best thing that happened to my family. Everything calmed down and although everyone went thru therapy. You can get there and you can do this TA.   

deadendp

Matts3221 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I'm too damaged by my upbringing to ever be able to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

no one is ever too damaged. therapy (and distance) work wonders. 

Very true , grew up with an abusive father who beat and verbal abused me and my mom. He passed when I was 18 from cancer and as said as it may sound , my fathers passing was the best thing that happened to my family. Everything calmed down and although everyone went thru therapy. You can get there and you can do this TA.   

I'm sorry you went through that. 

This happened to a family who grew up down the street from me. When the father died, they had a big party. Sounds terrible, but we all understood. They were free. 

Matts3221

deadendp said:

Matts3221 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I'm too damaged by my upbringing to ever be able to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

no one is ever too damaged. therapy (and distance) work wonders. 

Very true , grew up with an abusive father who beat and verbal abused me and my mom. He passed when I was 18 from cancer and as said as it may sound , my fathers passing was the best thing that happened to my family. Everything calmed down and although everyone went thru therapy. You can get there and you can do this TA.   

I'm sorry you went through that. 

This happened to a family who grew up down the street from me. When the father died, they had a big party. Sounds terrible, but we all understood. They were free. 

Yeah something those whom had no idea what was happening in our family thought I was evil for thinking that way. The thing about abusers is they are really good at playing the two face game. He would attend church and everyone thought he was a saint , people at my high school said they wish he was there dad. We once won Family Of The Year thur the Knight's Of Columbus ( I just remember rolling my eyes when we got it , we had to stand up while everyone clapped ).  At 41 I sometimes wonder how different our life would have been had he not passed ( it a bad way )

Thoughts_Arrive

My mum is seen as a nice person by people outside the family and she also attends church every Sunday.

hedonist

Sounds like my stepfather, though his truth has been seen by others for a while now.  It always comes out.

I feel bad for these people; it must be exhausting to "be" two different types of person.

lastexitlondon

Thoughts_Arrive said:

My mum is seen as a nice person by people outside the family and she also attends church every Sunday.

These people believe they  can act how ever they wish. God will forgive them. Ffs

Thoughts_Arrive

Yet I am the bad one for not going to church haha.

lastexitlondon

My view is that its full of cowards.  Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time..

hedonist

lastexitlondon said:

My view is that its full of cowards.  Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time..

To be fair, I know many who regularly go to church, temple, etc.  Damn fine people!

Thoughts_Arrive

Most of them are a bunch of anti-abortionists, homophobes and racists. 
If I see a religious woman I find attractive, I remind myself she probably is against homosexuality and same-sex marriage and against abortion. 

Thoughts_Arrive

I'd be better able to tolerate being single if I had friends I saw regularly and a close family that I got along with. But sadly I do not.
Another day spent in a stupor. I'm like a heroin addict on the nod all day in isolation.
Hell, I might as well turn to heroin to escape. But needles make me freak out.

Thoughts_Arrive

Really feeling scared right now.

This task set by my psychologist seems to daunting.

I feel like there's no way out.

mickeyrat

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Really feeling scared right now.

This task set by my psychologist seems to daunting.

I feel like there's no way out.

there isnt and shouldnt be  you have to walk through it.

deadendp

hedonist said:

lastexitlondon said:

My view is that its full of cowards.  Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time..

To be fair, I know many who regularly go to church, temple, etc.  Damn fine people!

Ooooo! Me! Me! I'm one of those!

In fairness, I know what Rob means as Christians can be some of the most judgmental people, but sweeping statements both ways aren't helpful either. (No, I'm not cracking on you, Rob.)

We're Methodist. Methodists are those who kind of don't fit into the mold. I grew up Catholic and was Baptist for most of my life. For me and my family, neither is a particularly good fit. (Not here to bash religions or people here who might be either.) For us and our place of worship, we find "Open Hearts. Open Minds. Open Doors," a great fit for us. I won't go into the latest struggles with the umbrella over Methodists, but separate churches (we being one) are so thrilled to have anyone come to worship with us. We are accepting of all and we are a safe place. We are a safe church family to confide in and the outreach we do to help the hurt, hungry and those in need without judgment truly speaks to the Methodist motto. 

But back to thread integrity, religion and those who beat you upside the head with bibles and opinions can definitely cause anxiety. I get that. I really do. 

lastexitlondon

Sorry i didnt mean to offend anyone. I was thinking of lyrics and how it fit M.   and matts case
Im not religious at all so may of come across rude. Sorry all.

deadendp

lastexitlondon said:

Sorry i didnt mean to offend anyone. I was thinking of lyrics and how it fit M's case and matts. 
Im not religious at all so may of cone across rude. Sorry all.

No offense taken at all. No worries. Religious folks can be terrible. 

Thoughts_Arrive

I don't care if someone is religious. Just don't shove it down people's throats like most people I know do, including my mother.

The religious (not all but many) demonise gay people which pisses me off. I have my views on religion which I'll keep to myself unless someone wants to know.