A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Seven weeks, that's fantastic!  Also fantastic is the good scan news.

    Know that your worrying will do nothing but add to your anxiety.  They have to live their lives.  YOU have to live yours (though I do understand the concern).

    Despite everything, I'm glad to know the possibility of suicide has been shelved.  You deserve peace :)
  • Glad to hear the scan is all good.
    Have you got an upcoming appointment with a psychologist?
    I wish you all the best. 

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • JPPJ84JPPJ84 Posts: 3,464
    edited February 2020
    Good morning!
    Rob, would it help to write down factual points? Right now around 10 people who were previously abroad have been infected in the UK. None of them have died. The mortality rate of this virus is way under 1%. So the probability of your kids catching the virus is 0.a whole of a lot zeros and 1. 
    I do get the concern, I‘m not immune to it either. I just think panicking gets no one anywhere.
    Post edited by JPPJ84 on
  • My diagnosis has always  been  chronic health anxiety and generalised anxiety so these things hit my soul and wont leave. I fear drink is coming soon i cant hold on.
    I have an appointment  soonish cant remember  when but they are useless if im honest. The group  i go to i decided not to go anymore its just pointless
     People  are getting something  out of my knowledge and wisdom on memtal issues but they all still drink. A lot. And  it annoys  me . Its like they take but not give. Anyway  that said a man came up ti me on the way out on Friday  and said he really likes what i say and said i should be taking groups. Fuck that . I told him thanks but im way too fucked to be of use
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • I spoke at length to my eldest. My only son alive. 21.
    He is getting like me and well its killing me. I spoke a long time and it made me see how much we teach our kids by just  being.
    By observation they are you.
    Be careful any of you with young  kids. You  can ruin lives and not have a clue
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • JPPJ84 said:
    Good morning!
    Rob, would it help to write down factual points? Right now around 10 people who were previously abroad have been infected in the UK. None of them have died. The mortality rate of this virus is way under 1%. So the probability of your kids catching the virus is 0.a whole of a lot zeros and 1. 
    I do get the concern, I‘m not immune to it either. I just think panicking gets no one anywhere.
    I like this cognitive behavioural approach.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • I spoke at length to my eldest. My only son alive. 21.
    He is getting like me and well its killing me. I spoke a long time and it made me see how much we teach our kids by just  being.
    By observation they are you.
    Be careful any of you with young  kids. You  can ruin lives and not have a clue
    Yes, social learning. Children internalise what they see.
    My mum has passed on her negativity to me.
    Have your psychologists gone over cognitive behavioural tasks with you?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,586

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • rollingsrollings Posts: 7,124
    Sometimes I get anxiety and the other day I had an epiphany that the things I get anxious about I should instead turn around and be grateful for.

    Like instead of wondering what could happen (wrongly)., I should instead appreciate in the moment what I do have. 

    It made me feel better.  I'm not sure if it will work all the time tho
  • rollingsrollings Posts: 7,124
    Something else...when my son was first diagnosed with autism, I felt terrible...like I knew that there was nothing in the world that would take it away. It was despair .  Do you know what actually made me feel better? ...and it still helps me put everything in perspective...

    The song "Do you realize" by the flaming lips has that line "do you realize ..that everyone you know , someday will die" 

    I remember thinking of that line one night when looking up at the stars and taking such solace in it...like in the end, it doesn't even matter.

    Not to be morbid, but just to put things in perspective .  Our lives come and go.  Everyone's does...  Everybody's worries just die too . A lifetime of worry...just gone all of a sudden

    I have no idea why that made me feel better-to this day to a big extent--but it did/does.




  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,586
    edited February 2020
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Sometimes I think to myself that my worries are so insignificant considering the climate change and its associated natural disasters which will only get worse.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • I just cannot cope right now.
    My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is. 
    He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
    I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
    It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
    I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
    My mum is alone if I go. 
    I honestly don't know.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,586
    I just cannot cope right now.
    My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is. 
    He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
    I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
    It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
    I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
    My mum is alone if I go. 
    I honestly don't know.
     get out now. you have at least one sibling no? it is not your responsibility.

    it sounds like a kidney stone.  these people can take care of themselves yes?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyrat said:
    I just cannot cope right now.
    My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is. 
    He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
    I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
    It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
    I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
    My mum is alone if I go. 
    I honestly don't know.
     get out now. you have at least one sibling no? it is not your responsibility.

    it sounds like a kidney stone.  these people can take care of themselves yes?
    I have two older sisters. But they have their own families.
    I am the only son, it's my responsibility in my culture.
    I have appointments with Honours supervisors all day Thursday and Friday and I don't know what to do as I might be required to drive them to/from hospital. 
    They told my dad it could be prostate cancer or an infection.
    My mum is in tears and shaking. 
    If something happens to my dad she'll be alone and she does not drive and has poor English skills, my dad does everything for her.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,586
    edited February 2020
    and have you and your sisters and parents had the conversation about care as they age or become ill?
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyrat said:
    I just cannot cope right now.
    My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is. 
    He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
    I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
    It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
    I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
    My mum is alone if I go. 
    I honestly don't know.
     get out now. you have at least one sibling no? it is not your responsibility.

    it sounds like a kidney stone.  these people can take care of themselves yes?
    I have two older sisters. But they have their own families.
    I am the only son, it's my responsibility in my culture.
    I have appointments with Honours supervisors all day Thursday and Friday and I don't know what to do as I might be required to drive them to/from hospital. 
    They told my dad it could be prostate cancer or an infection.
    My mum is in tears and shaking. 
    If something happens to my dad she'll be alone and she does not drive and has poor English skills, my dad does everything for her.


    What are they basing the prostate cancer on?

    I was going to agree with Mickey , as someone that has passed more Kidney Stones that I care to share ( silly deformed right kidney from birth ) that was what is sounded like to me. IE: Could not pee and blood in urine when he could pass urine.

    Did they do a KUB on him ( Kidney / Uritur (sp) / Bladder ) X-ray ? That would be a quick test followed up with an ultrasound. Of course it could be something else but and I know this is hard , don't jump 50 steps ahead to cancer because they are going to be a lot more tests to figure that out.

  • I spoke at length to my eldest. My only son alive. 21.
    He is getting like me and well its killing me. I spoke a long time and it made me see how much we teach our kids by just  being.
    By observation they are you.
    Be careful any of you with young  kids. You  can ruin lives and not have a clue


    Rob you never know they could also turn it all around. Grant it , I have high Anxiety and Depression with a nice dash of hypochondria to add on to that.

    My father was an alcoholic , abuser ( physical and emotionally )  , treated my whole family like shit. Not say that is you Rob at all but with my father , although I had the choice to be like my dad or someone totally else , although I have my issues. I have always tried to be the most respectful person to any human , to not yell like he did or just say mean things.

    You are trying your best Rob , you have my rooting for you in your corner.

  • Matts3221 said:
    mickeyrat said:
    I just cannot cope right now.
    My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is. 
    He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
    I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
    It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
    I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
    My mum is alone if I go. 
    I honestly don't know.
     get out now. you have at least one sibling no? it is not your responsibility.

    it sounds like a kidney stone.  these people can take care of themselves yes?
    I have two older sisters. But they have their own families.
    I am the only son, it's my responsibility in my culture.
    I have appointments with Honours supervisors all day Thursday and Friday and I don't know what to do as I might be required to drive them to/from hospital. 
    They told my dad it could be prostate cancer or an infection.
    My mum is in tears and shaking. 
    If something happens to my dad she'll be alone and she does not drive and has poor English skills, my dad does everything for her.


    What are they basing the prostate cancer on?

    I was going to agree with Mickey , as someone that has passed more Kidney Stones that I care to share ( silly deformed right kidney from birth ) that was what is sounded like to me. IE: Could not pee and blood in urine when he could pass urine.

    Did they do a KUB on him ( Kidney / Uritur (sp) / Bladder ) X-ray ? That would be a quick test followed up with an ultrasound. Of course it could be something else but and I know this is hard , don't jump 50 steps ahead to cancer because they are going to be a lot more tests to figure that out.

    I don't know. All I know is he's in hospital and waiting on blood test results. He is being transferred to another hospital.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyrat said:
    and have you and your sisters and parents had the conversation about care as they age or become ill?
    I am estranged from one and the other I have not spoken to about this.
    They'll probably just expect me to do it all as I am single and childless. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • I spoke at length to my eldest. My only son alive. 21.
    He is getting like me and well its killing me. I spoke a long time and it made me see how much we teach our kids by just  being.
    By observation they are you.
    Be careful any of you with young  kids. You  can ruin lives and not have a clue
    One take-away from this is that your kids can see their father trying, as much as he’s able, to deal with his mental health in a positive way, I.e. counselling, anti- anxiety/depression meds, etc. With an example like that, they too will be more likely to deal with their issues in a healthy manner.

    @rollings  Excellent observation.  No one gets out of this life alive.  If we all would try to make the most of the time that we have on this earth by being kind and putting positivity out in the world, I think it would be a better place all around.

    @Matts3221 I’m truly sorry that you had such a  toxic childhood growing up.  I’m glad that you were able to break the cycle of addiction and abuse.  

    @Thougts_Arrive I’m sorry to hear your father is unwell.  I hope he recovers soon.  That being said, don’t put your life on hold for “what ifs.”  Move out, and move on to the next phase of your life.  
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,586

    mickeyrat said:
    and have you and your sisters and parents had the conversation about care as they age or become ill?
    I am estranged from one and the other I have not spoken to about this.
    They'll probably just expect me to do it all as I am single and childless. 
    well dont  do anything without everyone expressing their input. including your parents. cultural expectations aside, YOU have the right to decide your fiture. do not feel obligated to meet their expectations. hell, you already have experience in choosing differently.... use it to your benefit.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,586
    I guess how tied are you culturally? Arent you more Aus than their heritage?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Thanks S.

    Mickey,
    I consider myself more Aussie. I go against most of what I've been raised around.
    It is selfish of my mum not to have gone for her driver's licence. In her way of thinking and many others in our ethnic group, driving is a man's thing only. But not all women of our ethnic group are without licence. There are many that drive, it's just her warped view.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • All of a sudden the  deepest fear has hit me. This corona virus has my health anxiety  through the  roof . This is the first time that i recall  since being sober and im lost completely  fucked. I can't  move even 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • All of a sudden the  deepest fear has hit me. This corona virus has my health anxiety  through the  roof . This is the first time that i recall  since being sober and im lost completely  fucked. I can't  move even 
    @lastexitlondon Just breathe.  Nothing more.  Focus on your breath going in; focus on it going out.  You will be okay Rob.  Just breathe.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • That's what I'd suggest, diaphragmatic breathing, slow breath in, hold, breathe out slowly
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • So it looks like my dad is in the clear, it's just an enlarged prostate. He's getting a CT scan done tomorrow and will need surgery.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • I cant cope . Its all too much. I don't  know what im doing
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • My kids. I want to save them
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
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