A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 235
    Im worried that  as we spoke about on previous pages people will distance from me because im negative and repetitive 
    hedonist said:
    Im worried that  as we spoke about on previous pages people will distance from me because im negative and repetitive 
    Not I! And I’m pretty sure I speak for many :)
    I’m here for you too, Rob.  An ear to listen if you want.  good vibes being sent.  

    Yeah we are all here for you Rob.
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 6,130
    mickeyrat said:
    who has contact with T_A outside of here?

    have you or can you reach out to see how things are going for him?


    I sent him a whatsapp a couple days ago and he said he was doing better  but didnt elaborate . He could have been using the advice he was given about  just saying he is fine i will send him another.
    Thanks Rob.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • what dreamswhat dreams Posts: 1,203
    edited February 10
    Can I repeat again for clarity -- especially since I seem to be the source of this anxiety, for lack of a better word -- nobody said that anybody needs to stop sharing here or that their sharing is a burden on anyone. I see everyone agrees with me in that regard. Nobody in this thread should feel silenced. Let that go. 
    What I said that appears to have sparked this concern -- is that in my own life I have ended a few in-the-flesh relationships with people who drained me emotionally because their problems were too big for me to handle. I had my own problems to work through and was not getting the support I needed from that very, very needy friend. It was part of my own treatment for own mental illness and dysfunction to end the friendship. I needed to cut off the source of the anxiety and dysfunction to get well for myself. 
    Out of that history I shared, I suggested that when people feel stuck in a cycle, they could try to be more open to new things to resolve their anxiety. That was it. It was a suggestion to break the cycle. It was not a judgment on any individual's strength or weakness or over-sharing or under-sharing. We all know here that some days are way easier than others.  If you need to reach out, reach. Someone will be here, whoever is able at that moment in time.
    Post edited by what dreams on
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 6,130
    I’m not blaming you in any way what dreams.  We’re all here to offer friendship and to support each other by sharing our own personal experiences.  I believe most of us are not therapists.  Any suggestions we make come from personal experience, stuff that may or may not help others.  No one is obliged to take that advice.

    Each of us are carrying our own emotional weight.  We come here to support, but not carry the weight for others.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,986
    edited February 11
    You  know how it gets. Saying the same thing over and over and its hard to say anything.  I hate to think people think im not trying. Ive smoked too much and hate myself im still sober and ive used weed as an escape. Problem  is it makes me confused more but an escape. I tried a month just doing no anything and i couldnt  cope with my symptoms.  Still cant. Im losing reality  now
    You are making strides. Repetition is sometimes helpful in working through. 

    It reminds me of Myth of Sisyphus. There is a Minus The Bear song (Cold Company) that is not applicable here, but it goes along the MoS line. 

    As far as your partner is concerned, she is scared to death. Great energy coming to you both. 
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 14,724
    Sorry to worry you all. I've been dealing with shit and thought you are all better off without me on here so I've stayed away.
    Thanks for caring and reaching out on Whatsapp and via PM.

    Plus, I didn't come on this thread to be labelled a narcissist and then ignored on PM when reaching out by a hostile person.
    Peace out.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 20,540
    I don’t know about the pm thing, but I’m sorry it got to you. 

    Try not to let one person dictate your mood and actions. 

    There are many shoulders and ears for you here. 
  • Sorry to worry you all. I've been dealing with shit and thought you are all better off without me on here so I've stayed away.
    Thanks for caring and reaching out on Whatsapp and via PM.

    Plus, I didn't come on this thread to be labelled a narcissist and then ignored on PM when reaching out by a hostile person.
    Peace out.
    Say as you feel . If ever someone  or others are upsetting you say it here.
    We all know how that  feels to be upset by something when we are at our lowest everything  hurts. Mate dont not come here because of any one else. Just type how you feel . I for one would be fucked without this thread because i do not type anywhere else or really run any thing  by anyone else. I dont have anyone that i can just keep saying this to without upsetting  them. 
    Those  that know  you . Know you. You  are in a hole but  you  will rise.
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    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • I would also add. Move past any post or pm or whatever that makes you  feel hurt.  On to the next that may help.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 14,724
    "Safe place"
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 16,935
    it can be. depends on how much we absorb and allow into our heart.

    some truths given can, do and should sting or hurt.its intent is growth. they dont call em growing pains for nothing!!!
    others utilize truth in a malevolent way. using truth as a bludgeon because they can and do because they are an asshole.

    sometimes its hard to discern which is which.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • JPPJ84JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 1,469
    "Safe place"
    This place is full of compassion and comfort and people trying to help so it’s a hell of a lot safer than the rest of the internet. Stop dwelling on one comment, here or in the real world. Take anything that’s said to you and evaluate whether it’s spot on, way off the mark or there’s a bit of truth in it. And then work with that. Don’t take it as an excuse to wallow for two weeks instead of facing the choices you have to make. It may have been a bit much but on the last pages were a lot of people trying to give constructive advice. You may not have liked everything that’s been said but in the end this is all just talk. You’re the one that has to take action if (IF) you really want to change your life. Don’t take one comment as another excuse not to do anything 
  • I want this to be a safe place also. I originally  wanted nobody to scare me with diagnosis  or symptoms.  And as this moved forward i am pleased  with the care and support  i have received i believe  we here care for eachother 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • We do tend to gravitate  to a comment or phrase and not see all the other things. That is me sometimes
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 6,130
    We do tend to gravitate  to a comment or phrase and not see all the other things. That is me sometimes
    That’s me a lot of the time too. :|
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • Ive been thinking and self reflection  is really helpful.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 16,935
    Ive been thinking and self reflection  is really helpful.
    more so with action following, I have found.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Well even a realization  can lead to some enlightenment.  Actions follow if and when . The  looking at ones self can give some  answers
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • cdthomas1981cdthomas1981 KCMO NativePosts: 911
    Somedays I just want to be in isolation.  Whether it's just sitting in a dark room with nothing to see or hear.  Or just getting in my car and driving somewhere I haven't been and no one would be able to find me for the day.  I've had a lot of those days recently.
    clairvoyant - a person who claims to have a supernatural ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact.
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 235

    TA , don't let anyone get your down , don't focus on that one negative comment ( this is coming from someone who focus's on the one negative comment by my wife tells me to let it go )

    Just the other day HugeDillon posted something along the lines of "those who say just go to the gym don't get it" for just a few seconds I thought he was speaking about myself and then I had to get rid of that negative thought as it was me just thinking.

    As far as safe space , obviously we are all here for each other but the forum is open and there is always going to be a flame thrower just trying to rattle anyone just to get that reaction. I never found the appeal of trolling people on the internet.

    We are here for you and care for you and even if it is just to say hello pop on , people were worried and honestly that should make you feel good and loved that people from all over the world were wondering about what was going on.

  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 235
    Somedays I just want to be in isolation.  Whether it's just sitting in a dark room with nothing to see or hear.  Or just getting in my car and driving somewhere I haven't been and no one would be able to find me for the day.  I've had a lot of those days recently.


    Sorry to hear about feeling down , has something recently happened in your life that brought this on? Did you feel like these before and just less so up until the past couple of days?

    I think we all feel the need to escape or not be around others , do you just stare into the darkness for a few hours and let your mind go? When you drive somewhere does it help or is it to just get away?

    Just trying to understand.  

  • cdthomas1981cdthomas1981 KCMO NativePosts: 911
    Matts3221 said:
    Somedays I just want to be in isolation.  Whether it's just sitting in a dark room with nothing to see or hear.  Or just getting in my car and driving somewhere I haven't been and no one would be able to find me for the day.  I've had a lot of those days recently.


    Sorry to hear about feeling down , has something recently happened in your life that brought this on? Did you feel like these before and just less so up until the past couple of days?

    I think we all feel the need to escape or not be around others , do you just stare into the darkness for a few hours and let your mind go? When you drive somewhere does it help or is it to just get away?

    Just trying to understand.  

    There have been serious events in the past couple of years involving my wife and my mother.  My therapist is trying to help me through the grieving process of losing my mom to brain cancer.  She only had 1 year after her diagnosis, so it was a lot to process and still is.  I also think I've always felt anxious and have had trouble feeling like I want to be isolated.  It's tough, because I can't be isolated in my day job.

    clairvoyant - a person who claims to have a supernatural ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact.
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 235
    Matts3221 said:
    Somedays I just want to be in isolation.  Whether it's just sitting in a dark room with nothing to see or hear.  Or just getting in my car and driving somewhere I haven't been and no one would be able to find me for the day.  I've had a lot of those days recently.


    Sorry to hear about feeling down , has something recently happened in your life that brought this on? Did you feel like these before and just less so up until the past couple of days?

    I think we all feel the need to escape or not be around others , do you just stare into the darkness for a few hours and let your mind go? When you drive somewhere does it help or is it to just get away?

    Just trying to understand.  

    There have been serious events in the past couple of years involving my wife and my mother.  My therapist is trying to help me through the grieving process of losing my mom to brain cancer.  She only had 1 year after her diagnosis, so it was a lot to process and still is.  I also think I've always felt anxious and have had trouble feeling like I want to be isolated.  It's tough, because I can't be isolated in my day job.


    I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother , that cannot be easy nor can it be something that you can get over , the grieving aspect can take years for some people.

    Obviously I think it is great you are seeing a therapist , you don't have to share if you don't want to however is part of the issues with your wife the grieving that you have been going thru the past year? Not meant as a slight but supporting someone thru a process like this can be draining even for the nicest person in the world.

    If that is the case I would suggest brining your wife to a therapy session , always feel free to post what is happening , feeling anxious seems to be a normal feeling I would assume one would have with everything going on with you.

    The hardest part as you said is "tough , because I can't be isolated in my day job" I can only assume you have to be exhausted at the end of the day from working when you just want to be alone and this only makes you want to be along even more like you are counting hours after you leave work ( I have 15 hours to be by myself )

    Everyone grieves in their own way , please know how sorry I am for your loss and what you are going thru. Just like everyone else on this thread , always happy to hear how you are doing and that their are those who love you out there.


  • cdthomas1981cdthomas1981 KCMO NativePosts: 911
    Matts3221 said:
    Matts3221 said:
    Somedays I just want to be in isolation.  Whether it's just sitting in a dark room with nothing to see or hear.  Or just getting in my car and driving somewhere I haven't been and no one would be able to find me for the day.  I've had a lot of those days recently.


    Sorry to hear about feeling down , has something recently happened in your life that brought this on? Did you feel like these before and just less so up until the past couple of days?

    I think we all feel the need to escape or not be around others , do you just stare into the darkness for a few hours and let your mind go? When you drive somewhere does it help or is it to just get away?

    Just trying to understand.  

    There have been serious events in the past couple of years involving my wife and my mother.  My therapist is trying to help me through the grieving process of losing my mom to brain cancer.  She only had 1 year after her diagnosis, so it was a lot to process and still is.  I also think I've always felt anxious and have had trouble feeling like I want to be isolated.  It's tough, because I can't be isolated in my day job.


    I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother , that cannot be easy nor can it be something that you can get over , the grieving aspect can take years for some people.

    Obviously I think it is great you are seeing a therapist , you don't have to share if you don't want to however is part of the issues with your wife the grieving that you have been going thru the past year? Not meant as a slight but supporting someone thru a process like this can be draining even for the nicest person in the world.

    If that is the case I would suggest brining your wife to a therapy session , always feel free to post what is happening , feeling anxious seems to be a normal feeling I would assume one would have with everything going on with you.

    The hardest part as you said is "tough , because I can't be isolated in my day job" I can only assume you have to be exhausted at the end of the day from working when you just want to be alone and this only makes you want to be along even more like you are counting hours after you leave work ( I have 15 hours to be by myself )

    Everyone grieves in their own way , please know how sorry I am for your loss and what you are going thru. Just like everyone else on this thread , always happy to hear how you are doing and that their are those who love you out there.


    My wife had a stroke a little more than 2 years ago, from a somewhat rare condition called Moyamoya Disease.  Unfortunately, she won't be back to the way she was before it and she may not be able to finish some things she was in the middle of when it happened.  The day that it happened was a traumatic experience for me.  I try to move forward from it, but it's been difficult for me to do so.

    clairvoyant - a person who claims to have a supernatural ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact.
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 235
    Matts3221 said:
    Matts3221 said:
    Somedays I just want to be in isolation.  Whether it's just sitting in a dark room with nothing to see or hear.  Or just getting in my car and driving somewhere I haven't been and no one would be able to find me for the day.  I've had a lot of those days recently.


    Sorry to hear about feeling down , has something recently happened in your life that brought this on? Did you feel like these before and just less so up until the past couple of days?

    I think we all feel the need to escape or not be around others , do you just stare into the darkness for a few hours and let your mind go? When you drive somewhere does it help or is it to just get away?

    Just trying to understand.  

    There have been serious events in the past couple of years involving my wife and my mother.  My therapist is trying to help me through the grieving process of losing my mom to brain cancer.  She only had 1 year after her diagnosis, so it was a lot to process and still is.  I also think I've always felt anxious and have had trouble feeling like I want to be isolated.  It's tough, because I can't be isolated in my day job.


    I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother , that cannot be easy nor can it be something that you can get over , the grieving aspect can take years for some people.

    Obviously I think it is great you are seeing a therapist , you don't have to share if you don't want to however is part of the issues with your wife the grieving that you have been going thru the past year? Not meant as a slight but supporting someone thru a process like this can be draining even for the nicest person in the world.

    If that is the case I would suggest brining your wife to a therapy session , always feel free to post what is happening , feeling anxious seems to be a normal feeling I would assume one would have with everything going on with you.

    The hardest part as you said is "tough , because I can't be isolated in my day job" I can only assume you have to be exhausted at the end of the day from working when you just want to be alone and this only makes you want to be along even more like you are counting hours after you leave work ( I have 15 hours to be by myself )

    Everyone grieves in their own way , please know how sorry I am for your loss and what you are going thru. Just like everyone else on this thread , always happy to hear how you are doing and that their are those who love you out there.


    My wife had a stroke a little more than 2 years ago, from a somewhat rare condition called Moyamoya Disease.  Unfortunately, she won't be back to the way she was before it and she may not be able to finish some things she was in the middle of when it happened.  The day that it happened was a traumatic experience for me.  I try to move forward from it, but it's been difficult for me to do so.

    So hard lesson learned not to assume anything.

    My heart truly goes out to you , the amount of emotional and physical stress you must go thru is almost too much for me to bear thinking about right now.

    Please know I don't mean that in a bad way , I just cannot imaging and I cannot try to say anything other please feel free to post as much as you like.

    Two extremely traumatic life changing events , I am not surprised you are were you are. Do any local hospitals around you or maybe your therapist could help you with finding a group to meet with and chat.

    Although no one will have the exact same experience , I know groups like " Lost parent to cancer" are helpful for some as they can at least connect with someone who went thru the same loss , the story will be different and you may not find it helpful but I would suggest trying it.



  • cdthomas1981cdthomas1981 KCMO NativePosts: 911
    Matts3221 said:
    Matts3221 said:
    Matts3221 said:
    Somedays I just want to be in isolation.  Whether it's just sitting in a dark room with nothing to see or hear.  Or just getting in my car and driving somewhere I haven't been and no one would be able to find me for the day.  I've had a lot of those days recently.


    Sorry to hear about feeling down , has something recently happened in your life that brought this on? Did you feel like these before and just less so up until the past couple of days?

    I think we all feel the need to escape or not be around others , do you just stare into the darkness for a few hours and let your mind go? When you drive somewhere does it help or is it to just get away?

    Just trying to understand.  

    There have been serious events in the past couple of years involving my wife and my mother.  My therapist is trying to help me through the grieving process of losing my mom to brain cancer.  She only had 1 year after her diagnosis, so it was a lot to process and still is.  I also think I've always felt anxious and have had trouble feeling like I want to be isolated.  It's tough, because I can't be isolated in my day job.


    I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother , that cannot be easy nor can it be something that you can get over , the grieving aspect can take years for some people.

    Obviously I think it is great you are seeing a therapist , you don't have to share if you don't want to however is part of the issues with your wife the grieving that you have been going thru the past year? Not meant as a slight but supporting someone thru a process like this can be draining even for the nicest person in the world.

    If that is the case I would suggest brining your wife to a therapy session , always feel free to post what is happening , feeling anxious seems to be a normal feeling I would assume one would have with everything going on with you.

    The hardest part as you said is "tough , because I can't be isolated in my day job" I can only assume you have to be exhausted at the end of the day from working when you just want to be alone and this only makes you want to be along even more like you are counting hours after you leave work ( I have 15 hours to be by myself )

    Everyone grieves in their own way , please know how sorry I am for your loss and what you are going thru. Just like everyone else on this thread , always happy to hear how you are doing and that their are those who love you out there.


    My wife had a stroke a little more than 2 years ago, from a somewhat rare condition called Moyamoya Disease.  Unfortunately, she won't be back to the way she was before it and she may not be able to finish some things she was in the middle of when it happened.  The day that it happened was a traumatic experience for me.  I try to move forward from it, but it's been difficult for me to do so.

    So hard lesson learned not to assume anything.

    My heart truly goes out to you , the amount of emotional and physical stress you must go thru is almost too much for me to bear thinking about right now.

    Please know I don't mean that in a bad way , I just cannot imaging and I cannot try to say anything other please feel free to post as much as you like.

    Two extremely traumatic life changing events , I am not surprised you are were you are. Do any local hospitals around you or maybe your therapist could help you with finding a group to meet with and chat.

    Although no one will have the exact same experience , I know groups like " Lost parent to cancer" are helpful for some as they can at least connect with someone who went thru the same loss , the story will be different and you may not find it helpful but I would suggest trying it.



    I haven't tried to participate in a group yet.  I've just felt empty inside for quite a while.  It's almost like I've spent up my emotions for the better part of 2018.  I used to be a fairly emotional person prior to this, but now feel like a drone.  I'm not sure if it's what I've experienced, my meds, or a combination of both.

    clairvoyant - a person who claims to have a supernatural ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact.
  • Sounds like grief  to me. That hollow emptiness
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • JPPJ84JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 1,469
    I‘m very sorry for your loss and about the struggle you and your wife are going through, Thomas. I hope there’ll be better days ahead!
  • cdthomas1981cdthomas1981 KCMO NativePosts: 911
    JPPJ84 said:
    I‘m very sorry for your loss and about the struggle you and your wife are going through, Thomas. I hope there’ll be better days ahead!

    There will be better days ahead.  It's hard to not focus or even think about them most of the time. 
    clairvoyant - a person who claims to have a supernatural ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact.
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 20,681
    Matts3221 said:

    TA , don't let anyone get your down , don't focus on that one negative comment ( this is coming from someone who focus's on the one negative comment by my wife tells me to let it go )

    Just the other day HugeDillon posted something along the lines of "those who say just go to the gym don't get it" for just a few seconds I thought he was speaking about myself and then I had to get rid of that negative thought as it was me just thinking.

    As far as safe space , obviously we are all here for each other but the forum is open and there is always going to be a flame thrower just trying to rattle anyone just to get that reaction. I never found the appeal of trolling people on the internet.

    We are here for you and care for you and even if it is just to say hello pop on , people were worried and honestly that should make you feel good and loved that people from all over the world were wondering about what was going on.

    that was just an example. of course I've probably said something similar to people of like minds. I was more referring to people who obviously have never dealt with clinical depression and think you can will your way out of it, and are very dismissive about it. 

    "HugeDillon" made me laugh. LOL
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