A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

Thoughts_Arrive

I must be seen as some scary monster to women. Like intimidating or something

Thoughts_Arrive

Like, WTF?!

Why am I so unlikable?

I'm always polite and nice to everyone.

Thoughts_Arrive

Maybe they think I'm weird

lastexitlondon

How old are these  women you think are finding  you scary.  Again mate you are fixating on what you think  they think. Move on

hedonist

Maybe it’s not about you. Other things on one’s mind, problems, just not feeling sociable, who knows....again, very likely it’s totally separate from you. 

Why stress so much over someone you said a few posts up means nothing to you? I understand your curiosity but it seems like you’re putting more stock into this than is warranted

Try to put that energy toward something productive!

lastexitlondon

And remember  women change attitude during  a month if you get me. Ive always lived with  a woman since i was 15 and they have a very different attitude change during  a cycle . And i can never fully work it out. You know hedo is right. When someone has personal problems they may be walking around in a haze or pre occupied. You  may have been acting  this way at times with whats been in your  life . You never know what someone is going through

Thoughts_Arrive

And this other girl I've made an effort to talk to walks past me avoiding eye contact in the cafeteria and on the way to the train station.

Thoughts_Arrive

I feel so angry right now

Thoughts_Arrive

All I do is ask how they're going, talk about university. I'm not being sleazy or trying to pick them up. So wtf is wrong

Thoughts_Arrive

Kind of weird people treat others like dirt especially when they are studying to become psychologists.

Thoughts_Arrive

Feel like putting my fist through a wall

lastexitlondon

Go for a run or something.  Listen to music. Breathe. Calm down

Thoughts_Arrive

lastexitlondon said:

How old are these  women you think are finding  you scary.  Again mate you are fixating on what you think  they think. Move on

21-25

mickeyrat

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Too many unfriendly snobs in this world. Especially at university. This girl that used to talk to me is now blatantly snobing me. Like choosing to use another pedestrian crossing to avoid me. I said hi as I got to the same crossing as she was at on our way to the tram stop after our lecture and she said I've gotta go this way sorry bye. Wtf was that. Made me feel like shit. And we we're going to the same tram stop anyways as both crossings take you there. Even during orientation last week she'd not say hi to me in the elevator or in the same room. I honestly don't know wtf I have done wrong. Baffled. I feel like asking her.

I keep telling myself who gives a shit, she's nothing in my life but I still feel hurt.

one thing in this jumped out.

She made you? Others have that power? Can make you feel xyz?

took me awhile to figure it out, but I can tell you without question I chose that shit. Everytime. Others may lead me to a choice, but ultimately I chose to feel like shit. I chose to feel worthless or unworthy. Because I sought validation from others. Their opinion of me was more valuable than my own.

That changed when I decided I didnt want that anymore. With a measure of acceptance of self, that I am a fallible, vulnerable human being, doing what I could with the tools I had(very little). With a measure of forgiveness of self for not being this lofty image I had of myself. I admitted I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.And I wanted something different.

I gave myself the room to be me. warts and all. Changing where I could. Finding peace in that. 

You can have that too.

lastexitlondon

A wonderful post right there.

lastexitlondon

Something  is wrong with my youngest daughter.  Now  the  dr is calling paediatrics to find out what to do. To say im In a state is an understatement. I know  there  is nothing  i can do more than  alert a dr. But ffs i cant take anymore

tempo_n_groove

lastexitlondon said:

Something  is wrong with my youngest daughter.  Now  the  dr is calling paediatrics to find out what to do. To say im In a state is an understatement. I know  there  is nothing  i can do more than  alert a dr. But ffs i cant take anymore

You'll be fine.  I know you will.

The Dr will check her out and sort things.
How've you been Rob?  Send me a message on Whatsapp.

Thoughts_Arrive

mickeyrat said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Too many unfriendly snobs in this world. Especially at university. This girl that used to talk to me is now blatantly snobing me. Like choosing to use another pedestrian crossing to avoid me. I said hi as I got to the same crossing as she was at on our way to the tram stop after our lecture and she said I've gotta go this way sorry bye. Wtf was that. Made me feel like shit. And we we're going to the same tram stop anyways as both crossings take you there. Even during orientation last week she'd not say hi to me in the elevator or in the same room. I honestly don't know wtf I have done wrong. Baffled. I feel like asking her.

I keep telling myself who gives a shit, she's nothing in my life but I still feel hurt.

one thing in this jumped out.

She made you? Others have that power? Can make you feel xyz?

took me awhile to figure it out, but I can tell you without question I chose that shit. Everytime. Others may lead me to a choice, but ultimately I chose to feel like shit. I chose to feel worthless or unworthy. Because I sought validation from others. Their opinion of me was more valuable than my own.

That changed when I decided I didnt want that anymore. With a measure of acceptance of self, that I am a fallible, vulnerable human being, doing what I could with the tools I had(very little). With a measure of forgiveness of self for not being this lofty image I had of myself. I admitted I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.And I wanted something different.

I gave myself the room to be me. warts and all. Changing where I could. Finding peace in that. 

You can have that too.

Yes, that sounds like a good way of thinking but the question remains WHY did she avoid me so blatantly? WHAT is it about me that scares people away?

Thoughts_Arrive

lastexitlondon said:

Something  is wrong with my youngest daughter.  Now  the  dr is calling paediatrics to find out what to do. To say im In a state is an understatement. I know  there  is nothing  i can do more than  alert a dr. But ffs i cant take anymore

I hope it works out. I am sure she'll be fine with proper care.

mickeyrat

Thoughts_Arrive said:

mickeyrat said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Too many unfriendly snobs in this world. Especially at university. This girl that used to talk to me is now blatantly snobing me. Like choosing to use another pedestrian crossing to avoid me. I said hi as I got to the same crossing as she was at on our way to the tram stop after our lecture and she said I've gotta go this way sorry bye. Wtf was that. Made me feel like shit. And we we're going to the same tram stop anyways as both crossings take you there. Even during orientation last week she'd not say hi to me in the elevator or in the same room. I honestly don't know wtf I have done wrong. Baffled. I feel like asking her.

I keep telling myself who gives a shit, she's nothing in my life but I still feel hurt.

one thing in this jumped out.

She made you? Others have that power? Can make you feel xyz?

took me awhile to figure it out, but I can tell you without question I chose that shit. Everytime. Others may lead me to a choice, but ultimately I chose to feel like shit. I chose to feel worthless or unworthy. Because I sought validation from others. Their opinion of me was more valuable than my own.

That changed when I decided I didnt want that anymore. With a measure of acceptance of self, that I am a fallible, vulnerable human being, doing what I could with the tools I had(very little). With a measure of forgiveness of self for not being this lofty image I had of myself. I admitted I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.And I wanted something different.

I gave myself the room to be me. warts and all. Changing where I could. Finding peace in that. 

You can have that too.

Yes, that sounds like a good way of thinking but the question remains WHY did she avoid me so blatantly? WHAT is it about me that scares people away?

its irrelevant why.  I learned in aa that what others think of me is none of my business.

so you find out why. then what? you make some kind of change to appease  someone who you say really doesnt mean anything to you?

to thine own self be true

Thoughts_Arrive

I just want to know if I have done something to upset this person.
She used to always say hi and talk to me 2 years ago. Then she strangely started not saying hello back in 2018 and looking unfriendly towards me.
I bumped into her once last year (she graduated a year ahead of me) as we were waiting to see the same lecturer outside her office. She looked like she did not want to talk to me then as we were both waiting to be seen. After we saw the lecturer (both in her office at the same time) she left without saying bye to me.

Thoughts_Arrive

Do I stop saying hello to this person?
It is so awkward when we end up at the same pedestrian crossing or in the same elevator.

Thoughts_Arrive

I have never had her facebook but blocked her today after her cold shoulder.
Why should she see any helpful posts I make to the facebook group I am in for my Honours cohort.

mickeyrat

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Do I stop saying hello to this person?
It is so awkward when we end up at the same pedestrian crossing or in the same elevator.

yes. dont concern yourself with her.

Thoughts_Arrive

Most times she sees me she looks down at her phone.
Some people are so shit.
This has left me feeling shit about myself all night and had suicidal ideation return.

Thoughts_Arrive

Also, girls (yes there are hardly any guys in my cohort and most psychology cohorts) that I met at orientation events last week did not even bother with me this first week of semester. I bumped into three of them at a cafe next to campus as I went to buy lunch and I said hey and they just said hey and kept talking amongst themselves without bothering to talk to me even though I sat at the table next to theirs.

Thoughts_Arrive

I give up on people. 

Thoughts_Arrive

It's past 1am and I'm ruminating over this.

mickeyrat

the why question will fuck you over everytime.

hedonist

Thoughts_Arrive said:

It's past 1am and I'm ruminating over this.

Since last night. 

Unfortunately so much said here seems tossed aside more often than not. I wish you well but don’t know what else to offer. 

Rob, good thoughts for your girl. I hope it’s nothing serious or insurmountable.