Some psychologist had me breathing in soil through my left leg into my pelvis. Asked how it felt and then told me to breathe soil out of my right leg ? I went there and told her i have bad confusion. Yeah imagine me!! Then underground cave water into my pelvis. Ffs breathing water through a leg really?
I read 1/2 your post and now I have mud in my pants
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Rob being thinking of you and glad things are going well. Same with TA.
After a horrible week with the change in meds , my doctor just put me back on my old script and it has been good since then.
Also I love seeing that someone dragged out to the gym , it is so helpful with your mental wellbeing , even if the day you go you feel like shit or don't think it helped. The next morning when you wake up you can always feel it in your brain that you accomplished something the prior day.
For the past two weeks, I've had this thought running through my stressed out brain: All I want is to lie still on the floor. I'm carrying so much tension in my shoulders and hips and toes and every body part in between. So tonight I just did it. I got out of my rut and stopped. For a full hour, I put my yoga mat down -- first time in about six months -- and I just lied there. I moved some, stretched a few things, but mostly just paid attention to my body connected to the ground. I feel so much more relaxed.
True. Ive always had a vice so find it very very hard to invent myself. I have healthy things i try. So i will do that. Im unravelling fast though its how to stop the inevitable. I really took what -what dreams-said on board the other day about not ruining people around me with my constant down talk and obsessions with symptoms. It really does kill love. And it will ruin all relationships and one may not notice until its too late. But from that day im holding it in. Its bursting but i do not want to lose anymore people. I look back and can see who felt that way and could not take anymore of me. So thank you WD for the insight and HFD i believe you said a similar thing. Knowing and trying is important to me
It sounds like the doctor was trying to do guided imagery with you. I've run through audio versions of that kind of thing: breathe in light, breathe out darkness, etc. I've never heard anything like what you describe though. That is straight out of central casting. Glad you're working on some other outlets. To be fair to you, the constant down talk is not good for you, either, not just the people you love. I'm sure you're noticing a lot of different things now that you're not drinking/smoking the way you were. I can tell you that I used to be a chronic pot smoker who at one time added the alcohol on top, for about a decade. I was forced through life circumstance, not by choice, to stop smoking pot, as I moved to a new town and didn't have a dealer anymore (not for long, anyway) :-). However, it turned out to be a great thing because I didn't understand how much the pot was masking my unhappiness until I took that break. Don't feel like a failure or a fake if you quit the group. It's not for everybody. Keep trying to figure out what works for you. It's a never ending process with this illness. Every time life hits us with a new challenge, we have to adjust our coping mechanisms.
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
For the past two weeks, I've had this thought running through my stressed out brain: All I want is to lie still on the floor. I'm carrying so much tension in my shoulders and hips and toes and every body part in between. So tonight I just did it. I got out of my rut and stopped. For a full hour, I put my yoga mat down -- first time in about six months -- and I just lied there. I moved some, stretched a few things, but mostly just paid attention to my body connected to the ground. I feel so much more relaxed.
I smoked pot age 16-18 then never again for 21 years. Started again 9 months or so ago. Stopped a month ago. Started again 3 days ago. Its not good but better than alcohol at the moment nothing is not going to happen. Yeah the guided breathing i have tried . Its nice enough. And the mindfulness body scan Can ground a person sometimes. Keep trying thats all i will do until i crash again which is a daily affair. Whatever underlaying thing im dealing with i cannot fix with any amount of talking or breathing so i make an hourly choice as to what i do. Far from a good place . I am going down another bad path but i by now can't change it.
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
That group i attend is odd as fuck. Nobody is sober even for one day. Im the only one and they are all just hiding and making excuses. I cant really deal with it. Yesterday the guy who said i was an inspiration because i get up . (As i am now) with my 2 year old at 4 a.m . Was crying to me about me playing with my daughter. Although he is obvs in pain it just annoyed me a bit. If i am an inspiration what does he mean. He drinks litres of cider every day and is never sober . Nothing has changed. I see my kids as my life and my job to educate and nurture them. Is that not normal?
Post edited by lastexitlondon on
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
That group i attend is odd as fuck. Nobody is sober even for one day. Im the only one and they are all just hiding and making excuses. I cant really deal with it. Yesterday the guy who said i was an inspiration because i get up . (As i am now) with my 2 year old at 4 a.m . Was crying to me about me playing with my daughter. Although he is obvs in pain it just annoyed me a bit. If i am an inspiration what does he mean. He drinks litres of cider every day and is never sober . Nothing has changed. I see my kids as my life and my job to educate and nurture them. Is that not normal?
That is normal, but some people in the throes of addiction can't provide basic care to their children. I've seen that with my sister and one of my brothers. It is rather heartwrenching to see kids emancipate or take custody of a sibling because of such parental failure.
Good on you for taking the 4 AM shift. It gives you a time when everything is still and quiet and just you two. A special time to bond.
So, yes, an inspiration to that gentleman because you aren't ignoring parenting or just phoning it in, but participating when many don't or can't.
I smoked pot age 16-18 then never again for 21 years. Started again 9 months or so ago. Stopped a month ago. Started again 3 days ago. Its not good but better than alcohol at the moment nothing is not going to happen. Yeah the guided breathing i have tried . Its nice enough. And the mindfulness body scan Can ground a person sometimes. Keep trying thats all i will do until i crash again which is a daily affair. Whatever underlaying thing im dealing with i cannot fix with any amount of talking or breathing so i make an hourly choice as to what i do. Far from a good place . I am going down another bad path but i by now can't change it.
Wait a minute. You just said, in sum, whatever I have I cannot fix with talking and breathing, so hourly I make choices about what I do. That's the fix. Making choices. Not just about what we do, but what we think.
I read once, don't know where: Thoughts are not facts. We choose which thoughts to believe, and eventually, when we reject the false ones enough times, we stop having them to begin with. I do believe the cognitive therapy was a life saver in that regard for me.
Just checking in on everyone and hope everyone is feeling ok right now.
Nothing much on my end , since I went back to old meds everything seems to have evened out for me , keeping up with the gym ( I spend 65 mins there , I do 10 mins of fast pace ( 4mph ) , then 10 mins run ( 7mph ) until I hit 60 mins and then just do a quick 5 min cool down.
Sometimes when I don't see post on here I get worried that someone is keeping things in or feels like they are just going to say they same thing.
Please check in if you feel like it. All the love to everyone.
Just checking in on everyone and hope everyone is feeling ok right now.
Nothing much on my end , since I went back to old meds everything seems to have evened out for me , keeping up with the gym ( I spend 65 mins there , I do 10 mins of fast pace ( 4mph ) , then 10 mins run ( 7mph ) until I hit 60 mins and then just do a quick 5 min cool down.
Sometimes when I don't see post on here I get worried that someone is keeping things in or feels like they are just going to say they same thing.
Please check in if you feel like it. All the love to everyone.
You are correct matt. Ive gone down hill and just keeping myself to myself because there is nothing else to say. Im still not drinking but im smoking too much and am getting lost and very fat. You are inspirational to me Matt keep posting your achievements it's great.
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Just checking in on everyone and hope everyone is feeling ok right now.
Nothing much on my end , since I went back to old meds everything seems to have evened out for me , keeping up with the gym ( I spend 65 mins there , I do 10 mins of fast pace ( 4mph ) , then 10 mins run ( 7mph ) until I hit 60 mins and then just do a quick 5 min cool down.
Sometimes when I don't see post on here I get worried that someone is keeping things in or feels like they are just going to say they same thing.
Please check in if you feel like it. All the love to everyone.
You are correct matt. Ive gone down hill and just keeping myself to myself because there is nothing else to say. Im still not drinking but im smoking too much and am getting lost and very fat. You are inspirational to me Matt keep posting your achievements it's great.
If that helps you I will post more. Sorry to hear , super proud of you not drinking , I always think it shows signs of progress if you are admitting you are smoking too much ( rather than blaming on something else ) , I would say that most people when they stop drinking or stop smoking ect that you will put on weight.
Try small things , like start real small ( 5 min walk ) , just up it from there ( 10 min walk ).
I don't want anyone to think that my working out happened overnight , it was two years or just starting to walk and then walk more and more and more and after a year start to jog. All of it was hard even when I go now , 9 out of 10 times I want to stop running after 15 mins of being at the gym , I just realized that no matter how bad I want to quit that the next day I will feel better for doing it. I even have different playlist one is called " I don't want to fucking do this today "
Keep posting , always feel free to reach out via DM , I am thinking of you.
Just checking in on everyone and hope everyone is feeling ok right now.
Nothing much on my end , since I went back to old meds everything seems to have evened out for me , keeping up with the gym ( I spend 65 mins there , I do 10 mins of fast pace ( 4mph ) , then 10 mins run ( 7mph ) until I hit 60 mins and then just do a quick 5 min cool down.
Sometimes when I don't see post on here I get worried that someone is keeping things in or feels like they are just going to say they same thing.
Please check in if you feel like it. All the love to everyone.
You are correct matt. Ive gone down hill and just keeping myself to myself because there is nothing else to say. Im still not drinking but im smoking too much and am getting lost and very fat. You are inspirational to me Matt keep posting your achievements it's great.
If that helps you I will post more. Sorry to hear , super proud of you not drinking , I always think it shows signs of progress if you are admitting you are smoking too much ( rather than blaming on something else ) , I would say that most people when they stop drinking or stop smoking ect that you will put on weight.
Try small things , like start real small ( 5 min walk ) , just up it from there ( 10 min walk ).
I don't want anyone to think that my working out happened overnight , it was two years or just starting to walk and then walk more and more and more and after a year start to jog. All of it was hard even when I go now , 9 out of 10 times I want to stop running after 15 mins of being at the gym , I just realized that no matter how bad I want to quit that the next day I will feel better for doing it. I even have different playlist one is called " I don't want to fucking do this today "
Keep posting , always feel free to reach out via DM , I am thinking of you.
As i read this i am walking back from my weekly meeting . Its a thing i promised myself i would do. About 3 miles . Done it every friday. Its nice
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Just checking in on everyone and hope everyone is feeling ok right now.
Nothing much on my end , since I went back to old meds everything seems to have evened out for me , keeping up with the gym ( I spend 65 mins there , I do 10 mins of fast pace ( 4mph ) , then 10 mins run ( 7mph ) until I hit 60 mins and then just do a quick 5 min cool down.
Sometimes when I don't see post on here I get worried that someone is keeping things in or feels like they are just going to say they same thing.
Please check in if you feel like it. All the love to everyone.
You are correct matt. Ive gone down hill and just keeping myself to myself because there is nothing else to say. Im still not drinking but im smoking too much and am getting lost and very fat. You are inspirational to me Matt keep posting your achievements it's great.
If that helps you I will post more. Sorry to hear , super proud of you not drinking , I always think it shows signs of progress if you are admitting you are smoking too much ( rather than blaming on something else ) , I would say that most people when they stop drinking or stop smoking ect that you will put on weight.
Try small things , like start real small ( 5 min walk ) , just up it from there ( 10 min walk ).
I don't want anyone to think that my working out happened overnight , it was two years or just starting to walk and then walk more and more and more and after a year start to jog. All of it was hard even when I go now , 9 out of 10 times I want to stop running after 15 mins of being at the gym , I just realized that no matter how bad I want to quit that the next day I will feel better for doing it. I even have different playlist one is called " I don't want to fucking do this today "
Keep posting , always feel free to reach out via DM , I am thinking of you.
As i read this i am walking back from my weekly meeting . Its a thing i promised myself i would do. About 3 miles . Done it every friday. Its nice
Just checking in on everyone and hope everyone is feeling ok right now.
Nothing much on my end , since I went back to old meds everything seems to have evened out for me , keeping up with the gym ( I spend 65 mins there , I do 10 mins of fast pace ( 4mph ) , then 10 mins run ( 7mph ) until I hit 60 mins and then just do a quick 5 min cool down.
Sometimes when I don't see post on here I get worried that someone is keeping things in or feels like they are just going to say they same thing.
Please check in if you feel like it. All the love to everyone.
You are correct matt. Ive gone down hill and just keeping myself to myself because there is nothing else to say. Im still not drinking but im smoking too much and am getting lost and very fat. You are inspirational to me Matt keep posting your achievements it's great.
If that helps you I will post more. Sorry to hear , super proud of you not drinking , I always think it shows signs of progress if you are admitting you are smoking too much ( rather than blaming on something else ) , I would say that most people when they stop drinking or stop smoking ect that you will put on weight.
Try small things , like start real small ( 5 min walk ) , just up it from there ( 10 min walk ).
I don't want anyone to think that my working out happened overnight , it was two years or just starting to walk and then walk more and more and more and after a year start to jog. All of it was hard even when I go now , 9 out of 10 times I want to stop running after 15 mins of being at the gym , I just realized that no matter how bad I want to quit that the next day I will feel better for doing it. I even have different playlist one is called " I don't want to fucking do this today "
Keep posting , always feel free to reach out via DM , I am thinking of you.
As i read this i am walking back from my weekly meeting . Its a thing i promised myself i would do. About 3 miles . Done it every friday. Its nice
One step at a time, Rob.
2014: Cincinnati 2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Good going, Rob! Whatever brings you relief and peace. Keep reading, posting, and DOING for yourself.
Matts, I couldn’t even make it around the block a year ago. Many literal and figurative strides since then .
Comments
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
btw I‘ll fly to London today (going to Cardiff), I‘ll wave from the plane
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
it's ok
thanks then
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
All done fire pelvis
Out my pant leg. show's over.com
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Rob being thinking of you and glad things are going well. Same with TA.
After a horrible week with the change in meds , my doctor just put me back on my old script and it has been good since then.
Also I love seeing that someone dragged out to the gym , it is so helpful with your mental wellbeing , even if the day you go you feel like shit or don't think it helped. The next morning when you wake up you can always feel it in your brain that you accomplished something the prior day.
Glad you're working on some other outlets. To be fair to you, the constant down talk is not good for you, either, not just the people you love. I'm sure you're noticing a lot of different things now that you're not drinking/smoking the way you were. I can tell you that I used to be a chronic pot smoker who at one time added the alcohol on top, for about a decade. I was forced through life circumstance, not by choice, to stop smoking pot, as I moved to a new town and didn't have a dealer anymore (not for long, anyway) :-). However, it turned out to be a great thing because I didn't understand how much the pot was masking my unhappiness until I took that break. Don't feel like a failure or a fake if you quit the group. It's not for everybody. Keep trying to figure out what works for you. It's a never ending process with this illness. Every time life hits us with a new challenge, we have to adjust our coping mechanisms.
Started again 9 months or so ago. Stopped a month ago.
Started again 3 days ago.
Its not good but better than alcohol at the moment nothing is not going to happen.
Yeah the guided breathing i have tried . Its nice enough. And the mindfulness body scan
Can ground a person sometimes.
Keep trying thats all i will do until i crash again which is a daily affair.
Whatever underlaying thing im dealing with i cannot fix with any amount of talking or breathing so i make an hourly choice as to what i do.
Far from a good place . I am going down another bad path but i by now can't change it.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I cant really deal with it. Yesterday the guy who said i was an inspiration because i get up . (As i am now) with my 2 year old at 4 a.m . Was crying to me about me playing with my daughter. Although he is obvs in pain it just annoyed me a bit.
If i am an inspiration what does he mean. He drinks litres of cider every day and is never sober . Nothing has changed.
I see my kids as my life and my job to educate and nurture them. Is that not normal?
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Good on you for taking the 4 AM shift. It gives you a time when everything is still and quiet and just you two. A special time to bond.
So, yes, an inspiration to that gentleman because you aren't ignoring parenting or just phoning it in, but participating when many don't or can't.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
I read once, don't know where: Thoughts are not facts. We choose which thoughts to believe, and eventually, when we reject the false ones enough times, we stop having them to begin with. I do believe the cognitive therapy was a life saver in that regard for me.
Thoughts are not facts.
Its not my thoughts that are my problem. But im doing what i can to keep going.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Just checking in on everyone and hope everyone is feeling ok right now.
Nothing much on my end , since I went back to old meds everything seems to have evened out for me , keeping up with the gym ( I spend 65 mins there , I do 10 mins of fast pace ( 4mph ) , then 10 mins run ( 7mph ) until I hit 60 mins and then just do a quick 5 min cool down.
Sometimes when I don't see post on here I get worried that someone is keeping things in or feels like they are just going to say they same thing.
Please check in if you feel like it. All the love to everyone.
You are inspirational to me Matt keep posting your achievements it's great.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
If that helps you I will post more. Sorry to hear , super proud of you not drinking , I always think it shows signs of progress if you are admitting you are smoking too much ( rather than blaming on something else ) , I would say that most people when they stop drinking or stop smoking ect that you will put on weight.
Try small things , like start real small ( 5 min walk ) , just up it from there ( 10 min walk ).
I don't want anyone to think that my working out happened overnight , it was two years or just starting to walk and then walk more and more and more and after a year start to jog. All of it was hard even when I go now , 9 out of 10 times I want to stop running after 15 mins of being at the gym , I just realized that no matter how bad I want to quit that the next day I will feel better for doing it. I even have different playlist one is called " I don't want to fucking do this today "
Keep posting , always feel free to reach out via DM , I am thinking of you.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Just put a smile on my face.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
Goddamn “no pain, no gain” cliche of truth!