A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

OffSheGoes35

Okay. I will woman up.

lastexitlondon

Like we have all asked before . Do not get my thread  shutdown.  Have respect.  T.A perfectly written my good man.  I dont know but some  folk  call bad times or a shit period depression.  Depression is not just lifes ups and downs.  I hold my tongue on here but i really want to be mouthy because  in real life i can be sometimes.   SAFE place  as rgambs rightly says. Please respect that  

lastexitlondon

Back to the  topic. I had efexor. Its meant to a very good one for most

Matts3221

[ personal attack removed] I know this has already been said I know there are rules on this board for kindness , it say "safe place for anxiety suffers"  not "we are going to shit on you and assume we know everything about you"

Your facts are bullshit to start.

I am not going to respond anymore to your post.

"Thoughts Arrived"

I don't want to assume anything and I am at work so if I missed that you said this please forgive me but have you seen a therapist to talk about the past bullying? Bullying can happen in so many forms and so many ways I would never ask you to tell the details but thru therapy you may be able to slowly peel away at the long lasting effects it seems to have on you.

On top of that living at home and feeling like you cannot find a partner is something that will only keep getting you down. For that I don't have a ton of advance. In the United States when we had our big economic downturn in 2007. I had lost my job and was unemployed for almost three years. It was some of the hardest times of my life. You wake up with I don't have a job and go to bed with I don't have a job. I was on unemployment and although that did not cover everything it greatly helped and because of the downturn in the economy they extended unemployment benefits for 99 weeks.

Please know it will get better , during those three years I saw no hope at the end of the tunnel , I have now been at my job for 8 years , got married , bought a house and look back at that time as a very dark period. Still to this day I have a fear of my company just going under or another recession that leads to mass layoff's. My therapist and I worked thru this for years and I am finally starting to feel comfortable.

"LastExit"

My heart breaks for you and I offer you all my thoughts that their are so many people even just on this board whom care deeply about you. I am glad your kids have kept you going , that said you are not a burden to them. You being there is better than you not being there.

I wish I had more advice for you I really do, just know you are loved and people care about you. Also anyone can feel free to DM me , I typical check the board during the week and not the weekend.

Sea

Thread re-opened.

Discuss, disagree and debate politely. It's possible to disagree with people without being abusive, and it's a requirement here. This includes abusive Private Messages. If you have a disagreement with someone, (and it happens occasionally) please take it to Private Message to resolve it. Arguments are removed or locked...it poisons the atmosphere.

Please stop derailing topic integrity with personal arguments. If you cannot get along with someone put them on ignore or don’t respond to their posts. There is never an excuse for name calling or personally attacking another member.
Please be kind to each other.  Thank you.
https://community.pearljam.com/discussion/228366/forum-posting-guidelines

hedonist

Sea said:

Thread re-opened.

Discuss, disagree and debate politely. It's possible to disagree with people without being abusive, and it's a requirement here. This includes abusive Private Messages. If you have a disagreement with someone, (and it happens occasionally) please take it to Private Message to resolve it. Arguments are removed or locked...it poisons the atmosphere.

Please stop derailing topic integrity with personal arguments. If you cannot get along with someone put them on ignore or don’t respond to their posts. There is never an excuse for name calling or personally attacking another member.
Please be kind to each other.  Thank you.
https://community.pearljam.com/discussion/228366/forum-posting-guidelines

"Occasionally" 

Really though, nice to see this re-opened.

Hang in there, guys.

Matts3221

I got my first warning :(

HughFreakingDillon

Matts3221 said:

I got my first warning :(

pfft. rookie. LOL

Thoughts_Arrive

I just woke up and checked this thread, I am saddened to see one of our kind, long-time members banned. I really hope rgambs did not get a permanent ban? I don't know what was said as everything has been deleted. 

Thoughts_Arrive

Matts3221 said:

[ personal attack removed] I know this has already been said I know there are rules on this board for kindness , it say "safe place for anxiety suffers"  not "we are going to shit on you and assume we know everything about you"

Your facts are bullshit to start.

I am not going to respond anymore to your post.

"Thoughts Arrived"

I don't want to assume anything and I am at work so if I missed that you said this please forgive me but have you seen a therapist to talk about the past bullying? Bullying can happen in so many forms and so many ways I would never ask you to tell the details but thru therapy you may be able to slowly peel away at the long lasting effects it seems to have on you.

On top of that living at home and feeling like you cannot find a partner is something that will only keep getting you down. For that I don't have a ton of advance. In the United States when we had our big economic downturn in 2007. I had lost my job and was unemployed for almost three years. It was some of the hardest times of my life. You wake up with I don't have a job and go to bed with I don't have a job. I was on unemployment and although that did not cover everything it greatly helped and because of the downturn in the economy they extended unemployment benefits for 99 weeks.

Please know it will get better , during those three years I saw no hope at the end of the tunnel , I have now been at my job for 8 years , got married , bought a house and look back at that time as a very dark period. Still to this day I have a fear of my company just going under or another recession that leads to mass layoff's. My therapist and I worked thru this for years and I am finally starting to feel comfortable.

"LastExit"

My heart breaks for you and I offer you all my thoughts that their are so many people even just on this board whom care deeply about you. I am glad your kids have kept you going , that said you are not a burden to them. You being there is better than you not being there.

I wish I had more advice for you I really do, just know you are loved and people care about you. Also anyone can feel free to DM me , I typical check the board during the week and not the weekend.

Hey Matts, I appreciate your reply.

I saw a new psychologist for the first time a few weeks ago and mentioned this on top of all the other issues. He seemed like he did not know where to begin with all the problems I vented at him. I might ask him to focus on that for now. I regret not taking legal action against these asshole employers. Imagine being bullied then being fired because you don't fit in with the team, it's like victim blaming. It's left me bitter at the world and hate myself for being bullied. 

My best friend suggested perhaps it's time to get back to working to give me some perspective. Plus I could hopefully move out of home. Living with elderly parents is sad. But giving up studying to become a psychologist is hurting me right now. I thought I had a career sorted.

Yeah knowing I don't have much going right is hard to bear.
At the moment I am struggling really bad and breaking down in tears because I worked so hard to get the grades to be accepted into an Honours year at university. It feels like it was all for nothing and it has left me with a 25k debt to pay off and for what?. Every Master's degree is so expensive, be it psychology, counselling or art therapy, like 30k-40k. I cannot get over the anxiety this is giving me, I was already 12k in debt when I went back to university. Now my debt is around 25k. On top of my home mortgage.

I'm thinking of doing a pHD as it is paid for by the university. I'd only have to spend 8k more on Honours and work hard to get the grades to be accepted into a pHD. I've been interested in an academic role, doing research and teaching at university. But right now my motivation to study is not there. I managed to struggle through working on my assignment yesterday all day and night as I am behind due to being unwell. Another thing, academic roles at universities are not permanent, a lot of pHD students and those with their pHD's are not on a permanent contract, they're pretty much working poor from what I hear. So there's no job security. Another thing that makes me feel stuck.
I feel so trapped and like the walls are closing in around me and I am drowning and panicking. 

deadendp

LEL, I'm glad that your thread is re-opened. 

lastexitlondon

We have  great  people here who are the kind souls the world needs. Love to you all

Thoughts_Arrive

Back at ya.
It's a shame some people use this as a place to criticise rather than support with compassion.

tempo_n_groove

Rgambs got banned for sticking up for someone?

C'mon...

I'm here to show support for my friend Rob/Lastexitlondon.  He is a great person whom I've chatted with quite a few times but have yet the pleasure to meet in person, there's this big ol pond in between us, but one day my friend, one day.

mickeyrat

tempo_n_groove said:

Rgambs got banned for sticking up for someone?

C'mon...

I'm here to show support for my friend Rob/Lastexitlondon.  He is a great person whom I've chatted with quite a few times but have yet the pleasure to meet in person, there's this big ol pond in between us, but one day my friend, one day.

he was quite forceful in that defense. he  offered a suggestion  similar to some I have made just not as blunt.

he also offered a critique of said poster. I cant say I disagree with either the suggestion or the assessment.

Thoughts_Arrive

@Sea please tell us rgambs is only temporarily banned? 

mickeyrat

Thoughts_Arrive said:

@Sea please tell us rgambs is only temporarily banned? 

based off my experience recently, week should be it. he had strong language to be sure but I didn't see it rise to what I did fully. but thats just my opinion.

Matts3221

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Matts3221 said:

[ personal attack removed] I know this has already been said I know there are rules on this board for kindness , it say "safe place for anxiety suffers"  not "we are going to shit on you and assume we know everything about you"

Your facts are bullshit to start.

I am not going to respond anymore to your post.

"Thoughts Arrived"

I don't want to assume anything and I am at work so if I missed that you said this please forgive me but have you seen a therapist to talk about the past bullying? Bullying can happen in so many forms and so many ways I would never ask you to tell the details but thru therapy you may be able to slowly peel away at the long lasting effects it seems to have on you.

On top of that living at home and feeling like you cannot find a partner is something that will only keep getting you down. For that I don't have a ton of advance. In the United States when we had our big economic downturn in 2007. I had lost my job and was unemployed for almost three years. It was some of the hardest times of my life. You wake up with I don't have a job and go to bed with I don't have a job. I was on unemployment and although that did not cover everything it greatly helped and because of the downturn in the economy they extended unemployment benefits for 99 weeks.

Please know it will get better , during those three years I saw no hope at the end of the tunnel , I have now been at my job for 8 years , got married , bought a house and look back at that time as a very dark period. Still to this day I have a fear of my company just going under or another recession that leads to mass layoff's. My therapist and I worked thru this for years and I am finally starting to feel comfortable.

"LastExit"

My heart breaks for you and I offer you all my thoughts that their are so many people even just on this board whom care deeply about you. I am glad your kids have kept you going , that said you are not a burden to them. You being there is better than you not being there.

I wish I had more advice for you I really do, just know you are loved and people care about you. Also anyone can feel free to DM me , I typical check the board during the week and not the weekend.

Hey Matts, I appreciate your reply.

I saw a new psychologist for the first time a few weeks ago and mentioned this on top of all the other issues. He seemed like he did not know where to begin with all the problems I vented at him. I might ask him to focus on that for now. I regret not taking legal action against these asshole employers. Imagine being bullied then being fired because you don't fit in with the team, it's like victim blaming. It's left me bitter at the world and hate myself for being bullied. 

My best friend suggested perhaps it's time to get back to working to give me some perspective. Plus I could hopefully move out of home. Living with elderly parents is sad. But giving up studying to become a psychologist is hurting me right now. I thought I had a career sorted.

Yeah knowing I don't have much going right is hard to bear.
At the moment I am struggling really bad and breaking down in tears because I worked so hard to get the grades to be accepted into an Honours year at university. It feels like it was all for nothing and it has left me with a 25k debt to pay off and for what?. Every Master's degree is so expensive, be it psychology, counselling or art therapy, like 30k-40k. I cannot get over the anxiety this is giving me, I was already 12k in debt when I went back to university. Now my debt is around 25k. On top of my home mortgage.

I'm thinking of doing a pHD as it is paid for by the university. I'd only have to spend 8k more on Honours and work hard to get the grades to be accepted into a pHD. I've been interested in an academic role, doing research and teaching at university. But right now my motivation to study is not there. I managed to struggle through working on my assignment yesterday all day and night as I am behind due to being unwell. Another thing, academic roles at universities are not permanent, a lot of pHD students and those with their pHD's are not on a permanent contract, they're pretty much working poor from what I hear. So there's no job security. Another thing that makes me feel stuck.
I feel so trapped and like the walls are closing in around me and I am drowning and panicking. 

I was reading back thru this tread last night so I saw the horrible experiences you had with prior co-workers. Do you mind me asking were you live ( country ) , I don't understand he strong homophobia ( regardless of your sexuality ).

Was it a small company that made it hard to go to HR , was it so small on the owner was basically HR?

As you start your work search maybe look into the background of companies see if you can find any complaints about harassment and try to find work with a company that would take a strong stance on that subject.

I would think working in academic's would be a much less homophobic attitude.  Also I have three friend with pHD's two whom do very well for themselves and one that has a comfortable middle class lifestyle.

The trapped feeling is the worst and everyone deals with it differently , do you have woods around you? Sometimes I find the quietness of the woods and just a place to sit with my thoughts ( music can help ) can relax me.

Also take out what you are panicking about , so if you are panicked about finding a job. Take the job out of it and just know "you are panicking" and work on it from there.

Always feel free to reach out , I say it all the time but everyone is different so what works for me may not work for you at all just trying to find something that may help.

Best   

lastexitlondon

tempo_n_groove said:

Rgambs got banned for sticking up for someone?

C'mon...

I'm here to show support for my friend Rob/Lastexitlondon.  He is a great person whom I've chatted with quite a few times but have yet the pleasure to meet in person, there's this big ol pond in between us, but one day my friend, one day.

I really appreciate  this. And  i would hopr rgambs isnt banned because he said what we all felt.  We must all stand up to bullies and intolerance. If anything  a word is needed with the  guy who keeps doing this.

Thoughts_Arrive

Matts3221 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Matts3221 said:

[ personal attack removed] I know this has already been said I know there are rules on this board for kindness , it say "safe place for anxiety suffers"  not "we are going to shit on you and assume we know everything about you"

Your facts are bullshit to start.

I am not going to respond anymore to your post.

"Thoughts Arrived"

I don't want to assume anything and I am at work so if I missed that you said this please forgive me but have you seen a therapist to talk about the past bullying? Bullying can happen in so many forms and so many ways I would never ask you to tell the details but thru therapy you may be able to slowly peel away at the long lasting effects it seems to have on you.

On top of that living at home and feeling like you cannot find a partner is something that will only keep getting you down. For that I don't have a ton of advance. In the United States when we had our big economic downturn in 2007. I had lost my job and was unemployed for almost three years. It was some of the hardest times of my life. You wake up with I don't have a job and go to bed with I don't have a job. I was on unemployment and although that did not cover everything it greatly helped and because of the downturn in the economy they extended unemployment benefits for 99 weeks.

Please know it will get better , during those three years I saw no hope at the end of the tunnel , I have now been at my job for 8 years , got married , bought a house and look back at that time as a very dark period. Still to this day I have a fear of my company just going under or another recession that leads to mass layoff's. My therapist and I worked thru this for years and I am finally starting to feel comfortable.

"LastExit"

My heart breaks for you and I offer you all my thoughts that their are so many people even just on this board whom care deeply about you. I am glad your kids have kept you going , that said you are not a burden to them. You being there is better than you not being there.

I wish I had more advice for you I really do, just know you are loved and people care about you. Also anyone can feel free to DM me , I typical check the board during the week and not the weekend.

Hey Matts, I appreciate your reply.

I saw a new psychologist for the first time a few weeks ago and mentioned this on top of all the other issues. He seemed like he did not know where to begin with all the problems I vented at him. I might ask him to focus on that for now. I regret not taking legal action against these asshole employers. Imagine being bullied then being fired because you don't fit in with the team, it's like victim blaming. It's left me bitter at the world and hate myself for being bullied. 

My best friend suggested perhaps it's time to get back to working to give me some perspective. Plus I could hopefully move out of home. Living with elderly parents is sad. But giving up studying to become a psychologist is hurting me right now. I thought I had a career sorted.

Yeah knowing I don't have much going right is hard to bear.
At the moment I am struggling really bad and breaking down in tears because I worked so hard to get the grades to be accepted into an Honours year at university. It feels like it was all for nothing and it has left me with a 25k debt to pay off and for what?. Every Master's degree is so expensive, be it psychology, counselling or art therapy, like 30k-40k. I cannot get over the anxiety this is giving me, I was already 12k in debt when I went back to university. Now my debt is around 25k. On top of my home mortgage.

I'm thinking of doing a pHD as it is paid for by the university. I'd only have to spend 8k more on Honours and work hard to get the grades to be accepted into a pHD. I've been interested in an academic role, doing research and teaching at university. But right now my motivation to study is not there. I managed to struggle through working on my assignment yesterday all day and night as I am behind due to being unwell. Another thing, academic roles at universities are not permanent, a lot of pHD students and those with their pHD's are not on a permanent contract, they're pretty much working poor from what I hear. So there's no job security. Another thing that makes me feel stuck.
I feel so trapped and like the walls are closing in around me and I am drowning and panicking. 

I was reading back thru this tread last night so I saw the horrible experiences you had with prior co-workers. Do you mind me asking were you live ( country ) , I don't understand he strong homophobia ( regardless of your sexuality ).

Was it a small company that made it hard to go to HR , was it so small on the owner was basically HR?

As you start your work search maybe look into the background of companies see if you can find any complaints about harassment and try to find work with a company that would take a strong stance on that subject.

I would think working in academic's would be a much less homophobic attitude.  Also I have three friend with pHD's two whom do very well for themselves and one that has a comfortable middle class lifestyle.

The trapped feeling is the worst and everyone deals with it differently , do you have woods around you? Sometimes I find the quietness of the woods and just a place to sit with my thoughts ( music can help ) can relax me.

Also take out what you are panicking about , so if you are panicked about finding a job. Take the job out of it and just know "you are panicking" and work on it from there.

Always feel free to reach out , I say it all the time but everyone is different so what works for me may not work for you at all just trying to find something that may help.

Best   

Hey,
Australia is where I live.
Yeah, it still exists here.
One of the guy's who bullied me hard called many people 'faggot'. Plus one lady in the office saw two girls kissing and made a big deal of it saying it is disgusting. I couldn't believe how blatant the homophobia was in these workplaces. I felt so uncomfortable in my last office job, small office full of homophobes and racists, as well as sexist pigs. 

One of the companies was a large multi-national, the HR lady was useless, she was more pissed off at me being sent emails at work with links to porn or porn images, the people sending it to me were testing me to see if I was attracted to women. She just said it's none of their business what my sexual orientation is without doing anything to discipline these guys.

In my last office job, there was no HR, it was a real estate office. Everywhere you go here, HR is useless, they do nothing but take the management's side. 
I like your suggestion about investigating potential employers. I'll do that in future.
Working in academia, especially psychology would be great, a few of the lecturers at my university are gay. Generally, any university here with a school of psychology is full of kind people I've been told. I was actually thinking trying to find a job as a research assistant, I remembered yesterday that one of my lecturers/tutors mentioned you just need to finish you Bachelor degree in psychology to be able to get a job as a research assistant. It would probably suit me. That is if I don't want to spend four more years studying (Honours plus pHD).