A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

Fifthelement

lastexitlondon said:

You are all kind here.  I feel ashamed and at the same time i want it all to end

Rob, shame is such a complicated emotion.  It can be an impetus for change, but alternatively,  it can paralyse you and make you feel worse than you should.  Keep fighting, keep holding on.

Our world, and your family’s world, would be lessened if you were not here.  Good luck tomorrow.  I hope that they will be able to help you.  (((Hugs)))

Thoughts_Arrive

Do not be ashamed Rob.

All the best for tomorrow.

lastexitlondon

I managed one day and now i cant cope. Ive been unable  to get out of bed and  im so low 
I will never be able to quit everything esspecially  with this  brain. Home life and constant distress i live in. 
My life is completely  fucked and has been a long long time. 

Thoughts_Arrive

How did it go at your appointment?

lastexitlondon

Its in 11 hours time 

lastexitlondon

Day 3 completely  sober and im going insane even more. I cant stay awake and cant do anything  i wonder should i phone the dr. Im trying  so hard but i feel so nervous and having terrible  thoughts. My appointment  for. Drug and alcohol  place is 4 hours

JPPJ84

lastexitlondon said:

Day 3 completely  sober and im going insane even more. I cant stay awake and cant do anything  i wonder should i phone the dr. Im trying  so hard but i feel so nervous and having terrible  thoughts. My appointment  for. Drug and alcohol  place is 4 hours

Phone to get earlier help or to cancel the appointment? Rob, do not cancel! Hang in there! You not drinking for three days all of a sudden (good on you!) is an adjustment for your body so there will be side effects. They will weaken over time. Do not give into drink and talk to your doctor! We all believe in you

deadendp

lastexitlondon said:

Day 3 completely  sober and im going insane even more. I cant stay awake and cant do anything  i wonder should i phone the dr. Im trying  so hard but i feel so nervous and having terrible  thoughts. My appointment  for. Drug and alcohol  place is 4 hours

So proud of you! Hang in there. When you go to the doctor, you are able to report effects of you making strides toward better choices. The doctors will see your push forward despite feeling like you are wallowing in the deepest pit in hell. 

Don't give up. 

Thoughts_Arrive

I concur with the above.
Do not give up.
It is withdrawal symptoms it sounds like. 
Ask your doctor if they can give you anything to alleviate the symptoms.

Matts3221

lastexitlondon said:

Day 3 completely  sober and im going insane even more. I cant stay awake and cant do anything  i wonder should i phone the dr. Im trying  so hard but i feel so nervous and having terrible  thoughts. My appointment  for. Drug and alcohol  place is 4 hours

I can only imaging what your body is going thru right now but in the end it will be worth it. I know we don't know each other personally but I think of you often and truly hope that this year you get the correct help you need. I know you have been trying and unable to find doctors that seem to help.

My hope is that you can find a good one stick with it and post on here all you all the time we are here for you.

lastexitlondon

Thank you  everyone. Im just doing my best. The  people at spectrum where  i went said they will get me an appointment  with their  psychologist  so thats a start. 

2-feign-reluctance

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you  everyone. Im just doing my best. The  people at spectrum where  i went said they will get me an appointment  with their  psychologist  so thats a start. 

Speaking as a therapist and human being, hang in there. Anxiety is something that can't be managed over night. It begins with that first step and takes dedication every day to apply the skills that you will learn. I have been in the profession 15+ years and counting, had a trauma in 2007(erroneously held at gun point by local SWAT) and went for therapy. I've since healed from that event but still go in for a 'tune up' every now and again. It works if you dedicate yourself to the concepts and skills, manage your expectations for how treatment works (that's a huge one), and surround yourself with a supportive network of people (family and/or friends). My best @lastexitlondon

C-

lastexitlondon

Damn im in hell . I only feel safe asleep. Im going insane. Cant get out of bed. 
 Thank  you all for being here. I just dont know  how much more of a beating  i will take.

lastexitlondon

Without any substance to hide behind im very very ill.

Fifthelement

@lastexitlondon

I’m thinking of you Rob.  Sending you love and strength as you navigate these difficult days.  Persevere.  You may yet find hope and light.

hedonist

lastexitlondon said:

Without any substance to hide behind im very very ill.

What did the doc say?

You may be going through withdrawal.  Seeing life - seeing yourself - without any filters can be frightening or overwhelming.

Detox does a number on the mind and body; get through this as best you can.  We're behind you.

lastexitlondon

I haven't been able to  see the dr yet . I am calling tomorrow.  Monday.
Im very grateful for all of your  care here. 
Im very lost and lonely in my soul.
I will update IF anything positive happens. I feel like an idiot keep writing negative  shit and i know so many struggle and im not special. 
Love to all of you big hearted people.  
Sorry im so negative

Thoughts_Arrive

do not feel guilty or apologise. This thread is here for a reason. Keep hanging in there.

RunIntoTheRain

lastexitlondon said:

I haven't been able to  see the dr yet . I am calling tomorrow.  Monday.
Im very grateful for all of your  care here. 
Im very lost and lonely in my soul.
I will update IF anything positive happens. I feel like an idiot keep writing negative  shit and i know so many struggle and im not special. 
Love to all of you big hearted people.  
Sorry im so negative

You ARE special Rob!

Fifthelement

Thinking of you Rob.

lastexitlondon

Im driven to tears by all of the  care. I promise i am doing my best. Dr said to take ssri  meds again. I really dont want to but he said if im not its like refusing treatment. I just have lots of bad experience  of them. Im going out of my flat for the  3rd time in a week. I will try to go to my allotment.  (Thats a plot to grow veg i have. ) its not called that  in other countries i think. Anyway you all are so kind and understanding.  If nothing  else i know  all over the  world people are pulling  for little me from london colney england.

Thoughts_Arrive

Does your doctor know you have had bad experiences on ssri's? Hopefully you find a medication that you can tolerate.

lastexitlondon

Yes same dr. But he cant offer  anything  else. Doesn't  know what else to do. Its all fuckin pointless. Im pissed off

mickeyrat

removal of the alcohol and other substances will allow the meds to work as designed.

lastexitlondon

Well im in the position to see

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

Well im in the position to see

and give it the necessary time please, for your own sake

Fifthelement

(((Hugs))) Rob.

Thoughts_Arrive

Rob, how you doing?

lastexitlondon

Its very very bad atm. Sorry

JPPJ84

lastexitlondon said:

Its very very bad atm. Sorry

Hang in there Rob, try to stay away from alcohol and substances. Thinking of you!