T_A, Just when you announce doing things you need to do to get the hell out of the toxic hell hole you live in, you are going back to negative self talk.
Stop.
Yes, your landlord will allow you to paint. Oil paints aren't that strong, but the mineral spirits to clean are. Do that out near the dumpster or switch to acrylic for a bit. Or! Use other materials you have.
Will you have the same amount of disposable income you have now? No. Do what you need to do to trim the budget. Your mental health begs for it. That may be free YouTube tutorials as suggested above.
I don't use turpentine. I'm health conscious. I only use Gamsol to clean my brushes and Galkyd to speed or slow drying. It's also the fear people have of me getting paint on the floor/walls. I used to paint with acrylics but hate it.
I'd have about the same amount of money. If I study full time I might be able to receive a living away from home allowance.
I feel sad as I like hanging around with people I've met in my class and my teacher.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I hope I can make enough money to survive by tutoring psychology students. I can't return to working for another company because of past bullying. I'd rather be dead than put up with being picked on.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Last time I saw my psychologist he kept looking at his wrist watch. It made me feel like he couldn't be bothered. He's the only one I can see because it's free for 10 sessions.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
That's two psychologists I've had get sick of me. I'm a lost cause.
there are loads of bad ones out there. I learned that through experience. they are also human. many humans are bad at what they do. try another and then another. it's worth it.
Last time I saw my psychologist he kept looking at his wrist watch. It made me feel like he couldn't be bothered. He's the only one I can see because it's free for 10 sessions.
Well, maybe rooky mistake on your therapist’s part if he had to look at a watch - most therapists know to have a clock on the wall behind their clients’ , so they can discretely check the time .
You may benefit from looking at this scenario using some of the CBT principles that you’ve learned, though, because you’re jumping to conclusions and putting the most negative spin on this, which often brings you down. Therapists are humans with jobs, and they have to keep to time so that they can see their other clients.
What other explanations can you generate that don’t assume he’s sick of you? Maybe his clock is broken and he really doesn’t want to run behind. Maybe he had a personal issue that’s distracting him - his kid is sick and he needs to fit in calling the doctor between you and his next client. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well. Maybe he just really had to go to the bathroom!
The point is, you don’t know the reason and you’re assuming the worst and running with it. Try to be mindful of this tendency and generate alternate hypothesis instead. You are an educated man - use your critical thinking here as well!
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I struggle to. I'm thinking that I am unbearable as a patient.
That's not actually an alternative interpretation - that's your go-to
So put that one aside and come up with some others. They don't even have to be realistic, they just need to be alternates to broaden your thinking.
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,892
I think some part of you deep down doesn't want to. As bad as your present thinking and feeling may be, its a comfort zone. A known thing to rely on. Removal of it presents a scary proposition. The great unknown.
eventually a continuation of what was the uncomfortably comfortable existence became a greater fear than what was the unknown for me.
Challenges to meet and walk through to be sure, but now I'm on a motherfucking adventure!!!!! And I wouldnt have it any other way.......
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
0
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
I think some part of you deep down doesn't want to. As bad as your present thinking and feeling may be, its a comfort zone. A known thing to rely on. Removal of it presents a scary proposition. The great unknown.
eventually a continuation of what was the uncomfortably comfortable existence became a greater fear than what was the unknown for me.
Challenges to meet and walk through to be sure, but now I'm on a motherfucking adventure!!!!! And I wouldnt have it any other way.......
Yup.
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,892
edited January 2020
btw its not a judgement of you. its an observation. One that I've lived myself so I know how stuck it can make a person.
and I hope my subsequent experience can. serve as an example of moving through that to something better.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I think some part of you deep down doesn't want to. As bad as your present thinking and feeling may be, its a comfort zone. A known thing to rely on. Removal of it presents a scary proposition. The great unknown.
eventually a continuation of what was the uncomfortably comfortable existence became a greater fear than what was the unknown for me.
Challenges to meet and walk through to be sure, but now I'm on a motherfucking adventure!!!!! And I wouldnt have it any other way.......
"I miss the comfort in being sad"
Flight Risk out NOW!
www.headstonesband.com
0
Options
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,892
I think some part of you deep down doesn't want to. As bad as your present thinking and feeling may be, its a comfort zone. A known thing to rely on. Removal of it presents a scary proposition. The great unknown.
eventually a continuation of what was the uncomfortably comfortable existence became a greater fear than what was the unknown for me.
Challenges to meet and walk through to be sure, but now I'm on a motherfucking adventure!!!!! And I wouldnt have it any other way.......
"I miss the comfort in being sad"
more like , I hate my present but am too afraid of what life could be without it.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I'll probably never be able to afford to buy another property. Looks like I'll be living in share houses for life as a single man.
Try to look at the positive side of being single. You can eat what you want, go to bed when you want, you don't have to share the bathroom, etc, etc..... Life is dynamic, where you are now mentally and physically is a temporary situation. The most difficult step is the first step.
LastExit super glad to hear you are still on the path of soberness. That said I think it will be weeks before you start to see some better results. That said I truly wish you the best.
Thoughts_Arrived - I know it is hard to make the first step , in fact it can be terrifying , humans are pretty much creatures of habit and when we are used to something even if we hate it , it can be hard to break. I think it is why so many people stay at jobs they don't like , they have security and a routine.
I was just a little bummed this weekend to lose out on MSG tickets but I then realized what first world problems those are and got my ass to the gym and chiropractor.
I think some part of you deep down doesn't want to. As bad as your present thinking and feeling may be, its a comfort zone. A known thing to rely on. Removal of it presents a scary proposition. The great unknown.
eventually a continuation of what was the uncomfortably comfortable existence became a greater fear than what was the unknown for me.
Challenges to meet and walk through to be sure, but now I'm on a motherfucking adventure!!!!! And I wouldnt have it any other way.......
"I miss the comfort in being sad"
more like , I hate my present but am too afraid of what life could be without it.
when I started to really get down and dirty with anxiety and depression, I finally understood what that lyric meant. I find that Kurt was so easily able to articulate the simplest and most complex depressive feelings in song.
Flight Risk out NOW!
www.headstonesband.com
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Options
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,892
I think some part of you deep down doesn't want to. As bad as your present thinking and feeling may be, its a comfort zone. A known thing to rely on. Removal of it presents a scary proposition. The great unknown.
eventually a continuation of what was the uncomfortably comfortable existence became a greater fear than what was the unknown for me.
Challenges to meet and walk through to be sure, but now I'm on a motherfucking adventure!!!!! And I wouldnt have it any other way.......
"I miss the comfort in being sad"
more like , I hate my present but am too afraid of what life could be without it.
when I started to really get down and dirty with anxiety and depression, I finally understood what that lyric meant. I find that Kurt was so easily able to articulate the simplest and most complex depressive feelings in song.
thank you. wasnt sure how to take that in. I didnt know the reference.
and yes, I agree with your assessment, even with my limited knowledge of Nirvana. His voice furthered that as well. raw emotive vulnerable.....
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I think some part of you deep down doesn't want to. As bad as your present thinking and feeling may be, its a comfort zone. A known thing to rely on. Removal of it presents a scary proposition. The great unknown.
eventually a continuation of what was the uncomfortably comfortable existence became a greater fear than what was the unknown for me.
Challenges to meet and walk through to be sure, but now I'm on a motherfucking adventure!!!!! And I wouldnt have it any other way.......
"I miss the comfort in being sad"
more like , I hate my present but am too afraid of what life could be without it.
when I started to really get down and dirty with anxiety and depression, I finally understood what that lyric meant. I find that Kurt was so easily able to articulate the simplest and most complex depressive feelings in song.
thank you. wasnt sure how to take that in. I didnt know the reference.
and yes, I agree with your assessment, even with my limited knowledge of Nirvana. His voice furthered that as well. raw emotive vulnerable.....
it is just so easy to do nothing. it's the hardest thing to go through, but the easiest to let happen. that's what that lyric means to me. as shitty as it was, there was a sort of wanting to be there, I think it made it easier to deal with if I thought that I wanted this, and it felt comfortable, instead of it being out of my control.
Flight Risk out NOW!
www.headstonesband.com
0
Options
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,892
I think some part of you deep down doesn't want to. As bad as your present thinking and feeling may be, its a comfort zone. A known thing to rely on. Removal of it presents a scary proposition. The great unknown.
eventually a continuation of what was the uncomfortably comfortable existence became a greater fear than what was the unknown for me.
Challenges to meet and walk through to be sure, but now I'm on a motherfucking adventure!!!!! And I wouldnt have it any other way.......
"I miss the comfort in being sad"
more like , I hate my present but am too afraid of what life could be without it.
when I started to really get down and dirty with anxiety and depression, I finally understood what that lyric meant. I find that Kurt was so easily able to articulate the simplest and most complex depressive feelings in song.
thank you. wasnt sure how to take that in. I didnt know the reference.
and yes, I agree with your assessment, even with my limited knowledge of Nirvana. His voice furthered that as well. raw emotive vulnerable.....
it is just so easy to do nothing. it's the hardest thing to go through, but the easiest to let happen. that's what that lyric means to me. as shitty as it was, there was a sort of wanting to be there, I think it made it easier to deal with if I thought that I wanted this, and it felt comfortable, instead of it being out of my control.
exactly. the lies we tell ourselves, the worst being "maybe I deserve this life......"
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
It's also the hard decision of whether or not to continue with my university studies or just look for a full time job. My head is spinning.
I don't know what to do and it's stressing me out.
you know what to do. you just don't want to do it.
get a job move out move on with your life continue your studies part time as you can
The problem with trying to find a job is that in order to receive the dole I can only apply for full time jobs. If I apply for part time jobs I won't get my dole payments. I'd like to apply for part time jobs so I can study part time but it's not possible.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Comments
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
www.headstonesband.com
You may benefit from looking at this scenario using some of the CBT principles that you’ve learned, though, because you’re jumping to conclusions and putting the most negative spin on this, which often brings you down. Therapists are humans with jobs, and they have to keep to time so that they can see their other clients.
The point is, you don’t know the reason and you’re assuming the worst and running with it. Try to be mindful of this tendency and generate alternate hypothesis instead. You are an educated man - use your critical thinking here as well!
So, challenge that thought. What are the alternate interpretations you can come up with?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
That's not actually an alternative interpretation - that's your go-to
So put that one aside and come up with some others. They don't even have to be realistic, they just need to be alternates to broaden your thinking.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
www.headstonesband.com
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Life is dynamic, where you are now mentally and physically is a temporary situation.
The most difficult step is the first step.
LastExit super glad to hear you are still on the path of soberness. That said I think it will be weeks before you start to see some better results. That said I truly wish you the best.
Thoughts_Arrived - I know it is hard to make the first step , in fact it can be terrifying , humans are pretty much creatures of habit and when we are used to something even if we hate it , it can be hard to break. I think it is why so many people stay at jobs they don't like , they have security and a routine.
I was just a little bummed this weekend to lose out on MSG tickets but I then realized what first world problems those are and got my ass to the gym and chiropractor.
Love to you all.
www.headstonesband.com
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
www.headstonesband.com
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
get a job
move out
move on with your life
continue your studies part time as you can
www.headstonesband.com
If I apply for part time jobs I won't get my dole payments.
I'd like to apply for part time jobs so I can study part time but it's not possible.