A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,430
    lastexitlondon said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    What have you lost?


    Memory and confusion is ridiculous. 
    All the  drs say the same. Its from anxiety. Not anything  else. I dont buy it.
    yet what you describe you experience is textbook.

    so, disbelieve them all you want, have you stuck with a protocol for longer than a week or so?  Just to see. maybe do a month or even two, so you can prove all their knowlege and experience wrong.

    really , what do you have to lose?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,430
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    I am in this fucked up place where I don't want to live anymore but I am terrified of dying and death.
    It is like being stuck in a nightmare. I want to die but I don't want to die.
    this was discussed with your gp and this psychiatrist you just saw?

    this feeling fit with the listed side effects?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    I did mention suicidal ideation today.
    I've been like this before medication. It's not the medication.
    I start a higher dose on Sunday. No amount of drugs can cure loneliness and feeling like those in your life don't care about you.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,430
    edited November 2019
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    I did mention suicidal ideation today.
    I've been like this before medication. It's not the medication.
    I start a higher dose on Sunday. No amount of drugs can cure loneliness and feeling like those in your life don't care about you.
    idk man. seems to me you have expectations of others to do as you would and do for them?

    like the golden rule. do unto others as you would have them do unto you. the part they left off was dont expect them to do the same.

    set the bar very low for others, then when they exceed your super low or no expectations you can be surprised.....
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    I don't feel like I am asking for too much in expecting people to at least ask every so often how I am going.
    After all that I do to help others I don't feel it is a big ask.
    You get forgotten and feel forgotten. 
    I don't expect to receive in return all that I give/do for others. Just to know people care for my mental wellbeing.
    Anyways, I'm off to bed.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • JPPJ84
    JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 3,464
    edited November 2019
    Not to expect anything from anybody is hard because it's somewhat natural to do. But to have specific expectations how people are supposed to behave towards you is kinda unfair. How would they know of your expectations? Even if they did they might not feel comfortable or able to do it. You don't always know what's going on in their life.
    If you don't like that your friend isn't asking how you feel mentally, why not tell him that you'd like to talk about it? He can't know if you don't tell him, can he? Maybe he doesn't ask because he thinks it might do you good to talk about other stuff. Maybe he doesn't because the extent of your anguish isn't clear to him. You don't know. It may be that he isn't comfortable talking about the topic but even if that's the case that doesn't mean he doesn't care.

    With social media I agree with Rob and will say what I told you before. Get off of social media right away. It is toxic! And again, don't expect people who you haven't socialized with for quite a while to like your posts. I have around 80 "friends" on Facebook. A) I log into FB twice a year. B ) I haven't talked to 70 of these people in years. C) My real friends I talk to or text with or meet. In person.
    If you want to share your art and talk about your passions then do it with friends and likeminded people, preferrably in person. Get off your phone. Your art class is a phantastic first step! Even if it may only be middle-aged women. Doesn't matter! Have you had your first class? If so, how was it?
    I get the feeling of loneliness, I really do! I think we've all been there to some extent. But relying on social media isn't gonna help.
    stay in there, M. And text me whenever you like :smile: I for one can't wait to see/ hear your next piece of art!

    Post edited by JPPJ84 on
  • Matts3221
    Matts3221 Posts: 658

    Have not posted in a little while but I had a very rough past week , depression and anxiety kicked in hard. I don't know what kicked it off but I think part of it was the fact that were I live the sun now sets a little after 4:00pm , its cold , lots of rain and it really has taken away from my walking/running and listen to music.

    I started to really focus on a small rash I had and over the course of a few days started to assume it was cancer and then started to feel that someone close to me was going to pass.

    While driving home from work on Tuesday night I just broke down and cried the whole way home not even knowing why just an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

    I am lucky to have a great Dr. network and after talking to my wife about everything I was feeling I went to the Dr's yesterday morning and they checked out all my issues and even did an exam on were I thought I had a big problem only to be assured I was fine.  

    Per my Dr , whom I have a follow up in 2 weeks to see were I am at he requested I do the following things.

    1.) Join a Gym to get myself moving during these cold/dark months , I am going tomorrow to sign up
    2.) Purchase a SAD lamp , something I have though about a lot and my work does not mind me keeping it at my desk.
    3.) Just slightly adjustment of my med's for the first time in 10 years.

    All of these give me hope and I can see a bit of sunshine ahead of me.

    Everyone else keep fighting the good fight. I love you all.

  • Matts3221
    Matts3221 Posts: 658

    And just one little add on , to anyone feeling down over social media , get off of it , it is so toxic to the way we live and how it can make us feel about ourselves. Most people just post the happy 1 second part of their day and it can make you feel like shit , that person very well may spend the rest of their day in a funk or crying you just don't know.

    Social Media is just how someone wants people to see them  , not who they really are it just smoke and mirrors.

  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 39,473
    my life has improved 10 fold after leaving facebook. 
    By The Time They Figure Out What Went Wrong, We'll Be Sitting On A Beach, Earning Twenty Percent.




  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,898
    mickeyrat said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    What have you lost?


    Memory and confusion is ridiculous. 
    All the  drs say the same. Its from anxiety. Not anything  else. I dont buy it.
    yet what you describe you experience is textbook.

    so, disbelieve them all you want, have you stuck with a protocol for longer than a week or so?  Just to see. maybe do a month or even two, so you can prove all their knowlege and experience wrong.

    really , what do you have to lose?
    What is a protocol?


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,898
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    my life has improved 10 fold after leaving facebook. 
    Agreed


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,898
    Matts3221 said:

    Have not posted in a little while but I had a very rough past week , depression and anxiety kicked in hard. I don't know what kicked it off but I think part of it was the fact that were I live the sun now sets a little after 4:00pm , its cold , lots of rain and it really has taken away from my walking/running and listen to music.

    I started to really focus on a small rash I had and over the course of a few days started to assume it was cancer and then started to feel that someone close to me was going to pass.

    While driving home from work on Tuesday night I just broke down and cried the whole way home not even knowing why just an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

    I am lucky to have a great Dr. network and after talking to my wife about everything I was feeling I went to the Dr's yesterday morning and they checked out all my issues and even did an exam on were I thought I had a big problem only to be assured I was fine.  

    Per my Dr , whom I have a follow up in 2 weeks to see were I am at he requested I do the following things.

    1.) Join a Gym to get myself moving during these cold/dark months , I am going tomorrow to sign up
    2.) Purchase a SAD lamp , something I have though about a lot and my work does not mind me keeping it at my desk.
    3.) Just slightly adjustment of my med's for the first time in 10 years.

    All of these give me hope and I can see a bit of sunshine ahead of me.

    Everyone else keep fighting the good fight. I love you all.

    Keep going my friend. I fully understand  and live those feelings also. 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,430
    lastexitlondon said:
    mickeyrat said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    What have you lost?


    Memory and confusion is ridiculous. 
    All the  drs say the same. Its from anxiety. Not anything  else. I dont buy it.
    yet what you describe you experience is textbook.

    so, disbelieve them all you want, have you stuck with a protocol for longer than a week or so?  Just to see. maybe do a month or even two, so you can prove all their knowlege and experience wrong.

    really , what do you have to lose?
    What is a protocol?
    the doctors prescribed treatment plan
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,898
    mickeyrat said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    mickeyrat said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    What have you lost?


    Memory and confusion is ridiculous. 
    All the  drs say the same. Its from anxiety. Not anything  else. I dont buy it.
    yet what you describe you experience is textbook.

    so, disbelieve them all you want, have you stuck with a protocol for longer than a week or so?  Just to see. maybe do a month or even two, so you can prove all their knowlege and experience wrong.

    really , what do you have to lose?
    What is a protocol?
    the doctors prescribed treatment plan
    I  am and have always. The  dr is the one who i follow . Its all i have.  Ive done whatever ive been told without  fail.


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,430
    lastexitlondon said:
    mickeyrat said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    mickeyrat said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    What have you lost?


    Memory and confusion is ridiculous. 
    All the  drs say the same. Its from anxiety. Not anything  else. I dont buy it.
    yet what you describe you experience is textbook.

    so, disbelieve them all you want, have you stuck with a protocol for longer than a week or so?  Just to see. maybe do a month or even two, so you can prove all their knowlege and experience wrong.

    really , what do you have to lose?
    What is a protocol?
    the doctors prescribed treatment plan
    I  am and have always. The  dr is the one who i follow . Its all i have.  Ive done whatever ive been told without  fail.
    inclusing meds?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,898
    Certainly. Ive tried at least 7 ssri meds. And some anti psychotic ones.in fact so many dr said  they obvs not working. 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,430
    lastexitlondon said:
    Certainly. Ive tried at least 7 ssri meds. And some anti psychotic ones.in fact so many dr said  they obvs not working. 
    ok.

    wanna share again an observation, here you are on the ball. you dont seem cognitively impaired to me. you are as easily understood as ever.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    This loneliness is so hard to handle.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • vogonpoetbythelake
    vogonpoetbythelake Posts: 2,146
    Have you tried volunteering for a good cause...spending time doing and being active towards helping others can do wonders to get oneself out of ones head and begin to appreciate how lucky one is...gratitude is an amazing companion...
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited November 2019
    I have thought about volunteering for homeless organisations. I am so awkward with people I'd struggle talking to homeless people and am afraid I might say the wrong thing accidentally to them. Right now, I don't want to exist.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

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