Let’s say you’ll be an honors student. How much time did you say you spend on social media each day? I don’t imagine you tried one single idea from us to fight that addiction, right? So I can’t imagine you’ll magically stop once you start your honors degree.
Now take all that valuable time and use it to earn money. Stop lying to yourself, M. and take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. What do you want? What do you really want? Find that out and then find a way to do it. Stop making bloody excuses.
I don't recall saying I'll get bullied at university?
I highly doubt I have a narcissistic personality disorder. I studied about personality disorders in my degree.
And I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression.
I was misdiagnosed, and improperly medicated, for years before receiving the correct diagnosis that put me on the right path toward improvement. In fact, I was 35 and in a major life crisis near hospitalization before it happened. Thank God for the doctor who recognized it, helped me, and for the wisdom I have gained the past 15 years and moving forward. Given the pre-occupation with the self, and a need for excessive attention, plus a sensitivity to perceived criticism, and co-morbidity with anxiety and depression due to ongoing problems at work, school, and in relationships, I'm going to pass on trying to help here any further. I don't have it to give. I know my limits. There are lots of people on this thread who have the heart to go the rounds with you. I actually came here this morning for a different purpose but saw the post about your house and got distracted by giving you some financial advice. Good luck with that.
Sorry it comes across that way, I don't crave attention, I'm a shy person in life and don't like the spotlight on me. I don't even have my photo on Facebook. I'm just venting here and looking for support (and getting it).
"In narcissistic PD, the person has an extreme feeling of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and a need to be admired. He is envious of others and expects them to be the same of him. He lacks empathy and readily lies and exploits others to achieve his aims. To others, he may seem self-absorbed, controlling, intolerant, selfish, or insensitive. If he feels obstructed or ridiculed, he can fly into a fit of destructive anger and revenge. Such a reaction is sometimes called "narcissistic rage" and can have disastrous consequences for all those involved. " https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/the-10-personality-disorders I actually have empathy for others and don't take advantage of anyone. I think you're way off the mark. I do however have symptoms of other personality disorders but not enough to meet the criteria for diagnosis.
The first time I saw the current psychologist I have he asked if I've had a personality test done. Not sure why he asked or what that means.
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
This is how confused and undecided I am in terms of careers, Whilst looking on a Facebook page for advertising for sharehouses, I saw one chef who advertised his house comment he works Mon-Fri. It got me thinking about a chef career even though I just finished university and got accepted into Honours. I thought about being a chef long ago but did not go with it because I keep hearing it is very long hours and you get no weekends free. Then seeing this guy say he has weekends free got me thinking.
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
This is how confused and undecided I am in terms of careers, Whilst looking on a Facebook page for advertising for sharehouses, I saw one chef who advertised his house comment he works Mon-Fri. It got me thinking about a chef career even though I just finished university and got accepted into Honours. I thought about being a chef long ago but did not go with it because I keep hearing it is very long hours and you get no weekends free. Then seeing this guy say he has weekends free got me thinking.
After my husband graduated from college, he had no idea what he wanted to do. We were only dating, but knew this gig was permanent, so as an investment for our future, we sent him to a career counselor. He went through all sorts of tests and in the end, it came up with a job for him-- park ranger. He has been a park naturalist/ranger (teacher, not law enforcement) since 1996. He may hate his boss, but he loves what he does.
You may consider seeing a career counselor for guidance. It worked for us.
I spoke to an organisational psychologist who was a lecturer of mine and she gave me and other students a careers test and mine was pointing to psychology.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Just my view. No way are you a narc. And someone as confused and in need of help how can you help others by being what you need? Psychologist. How can you have your diagnosis and seriously be a psychologist?
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I encourage anyone who needs to type here do so. Anytime you feel, nobody HAS to reply and often there is no answer. Friendly encouragement and an ear or a strong opinion is welcome. And sometimes from the outside it is simple to see but from that person who is reaching out its invisible. This whole last page made me think about my life and how i must annoy the shit out of all in my life. What i would say is when you are so deep in and cant take clean air even when in the garden so to speak its not on your radar to say you are fine or pretend. Ive taken something from that and all i will say is if anyone wants to repeat or not able to see or change speak to ME i will not give up or not ever not listen. I am you. You are me. I understand fully. I have nowhere to be so i am available all the time just to share and listen.
Post edited by lastexitlondon on
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Just my view. No way are you a narc. And someone as confused and in need of help how can you help others by being what you need? Psychologist. How can you have your diagnosis and seriously be a psychologist?
Exactly my issue, how do I help others when I cannot help myself. My psychologist said he's had psychologists or psychology students as patients before so maybe I can be one.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I just spent a number of hours working out things financially. If I sell the property I'll be lucky to make a gain after the 9 years worth of interest I've paid on the mortgage and the tax I'd have to pay on the sale. This is causing me more anxiety.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
So I've just annoyed my best friend again via Facebook messenger. I was just telling him how apartment/unit prices compare to where he's moved to where I am and he was asking what do I want and why am I running all this by him. I wasn't asking for help or advice, I was just talking. I feel like everything is fucked right now, I am failing everywhere, I am pissing everyone off, I am losing everyone. I'm almost in tears right now.
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Nothing is different remember that. Crying is essential. You are actually in a much better situation than many. If i wrote down my situation you would not believe how i live. Miles apart and yet i do not care. Your expectations are all from your parents. Not real life. Get off of facebook. Speak in person to everyone. Messages are shit. Real talk and contact are essential and stop obsessing about your self. The self has absorbed you. Only you can go through the pain barrier and become the adult you. At the moment for many reasons you are still behaving child like. Real adult life has all these pitfalls and ao many more you haven't scratched the surface of. Write it all down not to share. But to digest and make one decision and move at a time. Fuck what any other human thinks or says. Nobody will make a decision for you. If the property is not going to work right now. Act upon your relationship at home and speak your mind. Have the confrontations that you are hiding from.
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And in my opinion there is no way with your outlook and illness you can help others. Just not going to happen. If i came and saw you in your state as a professional psychologist man imagine.
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Nothing is falling apart, M. It’s just fear because (hopefully) a big change is around the corner. When I said take a look in the mirror and find out what you want I didn’t necessarily mean your whole life. Go step by step. No one’s ever jumped out of a deep well, they‘ve taken a ladder. One step at a time.
So ask yourself what you want to achieve now as your next step: if it’s to move out, find a way to earn money, which means taking on any job you can find. Either with or without studying at the same time. Don’t be sad if the sale doesn’t get you any profit. We‘ve all lost money. It’s still a good cash injection to start a new life away from your parents
PS: maybe it‘d actually be good for you to experience the stress of studying and working. It may leave you no time to overthink everything and kick you out of your apathy
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that.
my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence.
anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.
thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse.
what have you got to lose?
You weren't harsh. I have nothing to lose other than my own property and possibly the opportunity to ever purchase a property again. May I add, everyone that I know that has moved out of home has done so with their girlfriend. I feel if I had a girlfriend it'd be way easier to move out and into a house with her.
you're thinking of this backwards. you move out, be on your own, discover yourself away from other influences, and THEN you get a girlfriend.
it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that.
my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence.
anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.
thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse.
what have you got to lose?
You weren't harsh. I have nothing to lose other than my own property and possibly the opportunity to ever purchase a property again. May I add, everyone that I know that has moved out of home has done so with their girlfriend. I feel if I had a girlfriend it'd be way easier to move out and into a house with her.
you're thinking of this backwards. you move out, be on your own, discover yourself away from other influences, and THEN you get a girlfriend.
True
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,779
it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that.
my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence.
anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.
thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse.
what have you got to lose?
You weren't harsh. I have nothing to lose other than my own property and possibly the opportunity to ever purchase a property again. May I add, everyone that I know that has moved out of home has done so with their girlfriend. I feel if I had a girlfriend it'd be way easier to move out and into a house with her.
you're thinking of this backwards. you move out, be on your own, discover yourself away from other influences, and THEN you get a girlfriend.
exactly. were it the reverse as you suggested thoughts , what are you bringing to the relationship?
get right within yourself FOR yourself. or at least well on that path....
your friends you cite, do they walk a similar journey with what you face?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
The thought of losing my best friend who I've been friends with for almost 20 years makes me depressed and panicky. I have two other friends but we're not super close and I don't feel the same connection with them as I do with my best friend. I don't know how I'd live with myself if I lose him. I'd probably take my own life.
that is just ridiculous. suicide because of a lost friendship? ludicrous. I have had about 20 best friends come and go in my life. some I still have, some not. some come back, some don't. there have been periods in my life where I have had just a few friends. I used to be the kind of person that had 400 friends. When I finally found my true self, I realized I liked a small group much better. Were there lonely times because of that? of course, but by that time I was comfortable in my own skin and I ENJOYED being alone.
just let it be what it is, and stop stressing about one person. If you feel this desperate for this friend, he probably feels it. and if he feels that, he won't stick around too long. I wouldn't. friendships are two way. not a dependence.
humans are social animals, but we are also born alone and will die alone. there is nothing wrong with being alone. I am an introvert. are you? if you are, you just need to get comfortable in your own skin and then being alone is the best gift life can give you.
So I've just annoyed my best friend again via Facebook messenger. I was just telling him how apartment/unit prices compare to where he's moved to where I am and he was asking what do I want and why am I running all this by him. I wasn't asking for help or advice, I was just talking. I feel like everything is fucked right now, I am failing everywhere, I am pissing everyone off, I am losing everyone. I'm almost in tears right now.
did you ask him what's up with him? or just dart right in with your own life?
I do feel for you but at the same time , I have to agree with everyone else for the most part. In no way are we coming down on you but you do have a pattern or saying you are going to do something and then there are all these reasons why you cannot do it.
You own a home ( I know you have a mortgage on it but still you do have home ownership ) , graduated college you are further along than most humans already at this point.
Change is very scary and those of us that suffer from anxiety it can be even harder. That said you just have to take the jump , I know it is scary but it has to happen for anything to change.
Moving out of that house , taken control of your life a little more and having been there for so long I can see how it does work like an abusive relationship were you may eve feel you are at fault. You are not. However there is a constant going on in them , your mom.
I know it is not easy , get out of that house though. It will be the best thing you have ever done. Concentrate on yourself and improve yourself , love yourself for who you are and I promise good things will come along.
All the best.
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,779
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,779
I would include the freedom from what you think others think too......
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
on twitter, a buddy of mine I never would have suspected posted about bell let's talk day. he told about how he had to step away from work for a while because of mental health issues. i was floored. I mean, we aren't that close. I'm mostly friends with his wife. And I find myself to be incredibly in tune with knowing that about people, even if they don't show it outwardly. (some call this being an empath). it just goes to show that some hide it incredibly well. Always check in on your friends and loved ones. you never know how much a "hey, how's it going?" will mean.
Comments
"In narcissistic PD, the person has an extreme feeling of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and a need to be admired. He is envious of others and expects them to be the same of him. He lacks empathy and readily lies and exploits others to achieve his aims. To others, he may seem self-absorbed, controlling, intolerant, selfish, or insensitive. If he feels obstructed or ridiculed, he can fly into a fit of destructive anger and revenge. Such a reaction is sometimes called "narcissistic rage" and can have disastrous consequences for all those involved. "
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/the-10-personality-disorders
I actually have empathy for others and don't take advantage of anyone.
I think you're way off the mark.
I do however have symptoms of other personality disorders but not enough to meet the criteria for diagnosis.
The first time I saw the current psychologist I have he asked if I've had a personality test done. Not sure why he asked or what that means.
Whilst looking on a Facebook page for advertising for sharehouses, I saw one chef who advertised his house comment he works Mon-Fri.
It got me thinking about a chef career even though I just finished university and got accepted into Honours.
I thought about being a chef long ago but did not go with it because I keep hearing it is very long hours and you get no weekends free.
Then seeing this guy say he has weekends free got me thinking.
You may consider seeing a career counselor for guidance. It worked for us.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
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this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Anytime you feel, nobody HAS to reply and often there is no answer. Friendly encouragement and an ear or a strong opinion is welcome.
And sometimes from the outside it is simple to see but from that person who is reaching out its invisible.
This whole last page made me think about my life and how i must annoy the shit out of all in my life.
What i would say is when you are so deep in and cant take clean air even when in the garden so to speak its not on your radar to say you are fine or pretend.
Ive taken something from that and all i will say is if anyone wants to repeat or not able to see or change speak to ME i will not give up or not ever not listen. I am you. You are me.
I understand fully.
I have nowhere to be so i am available all the time just to share and listen.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
My psychologist said he's had psychologists or psychology students as patients before so maybe I can be one.
I was just telling him how apartment/unit prices compare to where he's moved to where I am and he was asking what do I want and why am I running all this by him. I wasn't asking for help or advice, I was just talking.
I feel like everything is fucked right now, I am failing everywhere, I am pissing everyone off, I am losing everyone.
I'm almost in tears right now.
You are actually in a much better situation than many.
If i wrote down my situation you would not believe how i live. Miles apart and yet i do not care. Your expectations are all from your parents. Not real life.
Get off of facebook. Speak in person to everyone. Messages are shit. Real talk and contact are essential and stop obsessing about your self. The self has absorbed you.
Only you can go through the pain barrier and become the adult you. At the moment for many reasons you are still behaving child like.
Real adult life has all these pitfalls and ao many more you haven't scratched the surface of.
Write it all down not to share. But to digest and make one decision and move at a time. Fuck what any other human thinks or says. Nobody will make a decision for you.
If the property is not going to work right now. Act upon your relationship at home and speak your mind. Have the confrontations that you are hiding from.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
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this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
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this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
www.headstonesband.com
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
just let it be what it is, and stop stressing about one person. If you feel this desperate for this friend, he probably feels it. and if he feels that, he won't stick around too long. I wouldn't. friendships are two way. not a dependence.
humans are social animals, but we are also born alone and will die alone. there is nothing wrong with being alone. I am an introvert. are you? if you are, you just need to get comfortable in your own skin and then being alone is the best gift life can give you.
www.headstonesband.com
www.headstonesband.com
Thoughts_Arrived
I do feel for you but at the same time , I have to agree with everyone else for the most part. In no way are we coming down on you but you do have a pattern or saying you are going to do something and then there are all these reasons why you cannot do it.
You own a home ( I know you have a mortgage on it but still you do have home ownership ) , graduated college you are further along than most humans already at this point.
Change is very scary and those of us that suffer from anxiety it can be even harder. That said you just have to take the jump , I know it is scary but it has to happen for anything to change.
Moving out of that house , taken control of your life a little more and having been there for so long I can see how it does work like an abusive relationship were you may eve feel you are at fault. You are not. However there is a constant going on in them , your mom.
I know it is not easy , get out of that house though. It will be the best thing you have ever done. Concentrate on yourself and improve yourself , love yourself for who you are and I promise good things will come along.
All the best.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I hope @Thoughts_Arrive, @Matts3221 and @lastexitlondon. as well as any others, are holding on. I’m thinking of you all and sending warm thoughts your way.
www.headstonesband.com