A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

rgambs · September 2019

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

I'm better off in public. It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety. It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety. Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers. It's rather convoluted, I suppose.

how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable.

She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more. But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it. So I hide it and she has no clue so far. No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety. Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.

Matts3221 · September 2019

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

I'm better off in public. It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety. It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety. Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers. It's rather convoluted, I suppose.

how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable.

She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more. But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it. So I hide it and she has no clue so far. No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety. Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.

Please know I am not arguing at all with what you are saying but I don't think you can "will away" a mental disorder , again you can work at it and maybe go that long but I don't feel there is a cure.

I don't think hiding it from her is a good idea either , I feel it would be an issue later down the road if you start to resent that you are hiding it.

The grips a having constant panic attacks is that you worry about the next one and that can bring it on , I in no way am telling you what to do but this is your wife not someone you have dated for a few months , I would have an open and honest conversation about what is going on.

Best of luck with everything

rgambs · September 2019

I'm fortunate to be dealing with anxiety so mild that I am worried about the unlikely possibility that I might someday need meds.

Keep your heads up folks, life is still beautiful and worth living for all of us!

HughFreakingDillon · September 2019

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

I'm better off in public. It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety. It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety. Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers. It's rather convoluted, I suppose.

how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable.

She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more. But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it. So I hide it and she has no clue so far. No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety. Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.

I don't know if I'd classify it as true anxiety if she could just will it away. no disrespect to her or you, but that doesn't sound real to me.

rgambs · September 2019

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

I'm better off in public. It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety. It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety. Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers. It's rather convoluted, I suppose.

how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable.

She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more. But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it. So I hide it and she has no clue so far. No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety. Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.

I don't know if I'd classify it as true anxiety if she could just will it away. no disrespect to her or you, but that doesn't sound real to me.

I've known a few people who have dealt with regular panic attacks and come out the other side. Obviously there's always a chance of dealing with it again, but minor anxiety can be beaten by the same strength of will that keeps major anxiety from consuming. We are just lucky to be dealing with less severe anxiety.

HughFreakingDillon · September 2019

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

I'm better off in public. It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety. It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety. Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers. It's rather convoluted, I suppose.

how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable.

She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more. But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it. So I hide it and she has no clue so far. No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety. Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.

I don't know if I'd classify it as true anxiety if she could just will it away. no disrespect to her or you, but that doesn't sound real to me.

I've known a few people who have dealt with regular panic attacks and come out the other side. Obviously there's always a chance of dealing with it again, but minor anxiety can be beaten by the same strength of will that keeps major anxiety from consuming. We are just lucky to be dealing with less severe anxiety.

gotcha.

Meltdown99 · September 2019

Anxiety is beatable. Anxiety will not be beaten by a pill alone. Anxiety free for a year.

Thoughts_Arrive · September 2019

The empty lonely feelings won't go away. And when they do it's temporary.

My life is spent being glued to the phone.

lastexitlondon · September 2019

Only you cam change that and you must

hedonist · September 2019

lastexitlondon said:

Only you cam change that and you must

Agreed.

You know you have a problem, and while (part of?) it can be solved through simple steps on your end - and help is available if needed - you repeatedly choose not to do anything to help yourself. Shit, just common sense stuff: turn it off when sleeping, designate non-phone time, find outside interests that build you up instead of looking to others to do that for you.

Hold yourself accountable to yourself. It doesn't bring you down; actually, it can have the opposite effect.

lastexitlondon · September 2019

These are wise words from an experienced man

hedonist · September 2019

lastexitlondon said:

These are wise words from an experienced man

Woman

And thank you. Just my two cents.

Thoughts_Arrive · September 2019

I tried to play guitar and read a book yesterday but couldn't motivate myself.

HughFreakingDillon · September 2019

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I tried to play guitar and read a book yesterday but couldn't motivate myself.

being creative was by far the hardest thing to try to do when i was depressed or anxious. i always assumed the best art was made by people in those states. not me. i can when i am out of that state and am able to piece it together to write about it, but not while i'm in the throes of it. even just playing guitar or bass without writing anything, couldn't do it.

lastexitlondon · September 2019

Its 4.41a.m the loneliest time. I wake confussed everyday and still its a shock.
My dr says i dont have an organic brain problem.
And he has said that for 2 years. Im worsening and im lonely in my pain.
No point wishing anymore.
I do not believe him. I know how it feels to be anxious i tell him every visit but he says what i have is much worse than the diseases i believe. He says i have a chronic psychiatric illness . No meds work. No more help available im just left to live in a hell i cant fix.
Im too scared to kill myself but i have the 24hr despair of watching myself fail and lose what i held so dear, My sanity, my mind and my memories. I now spend all my time in my room. I cant do anything or get any help.
I just had to write somewhere i know there is no answer.

Fifthelement · September 2019

Rob, is it possible to see another doctor or to check yourself into care? Loss of confidence or faith in your healthcare provider could exacerbate your negative feelings. It seems that he has washed his hands of assisting you in a meaningful way. Perhaps a fresh go would be helpful. Sending you much love(((((💓)))))

lastexitlondon · September 2019

Im so glad someone is here thank you.
He is a good man and ive got a great relationship with him.
Its tough because he looks at me every 3 weeks. And its me its not him. If something more is wrong he would know a dr for over 35 years. Now this is a rational statement but my symptoms don't fit anxiety for me but he says it is. And he asks me questions and i answer.
I try every visit to explain better about my confusion and memory. Im only 44 . Ffs . One part of me says over and over. It can't be a degenerate condition but the way it is is so distressing. My lady and my mum and my friend all say its not what i think. But hpw can i prove to my sick self. Im so distressed i dont know what to do.

lastexitlondon · September 2019

All my dr can do is reassure me but in the case of health anxiety its said that it doesnt work. But its all i have.you see i have 4 children. And i can't tell you how they have kept me alive but im feeling more harm than good comes from me . Im an alien. I lost everything. People can't deal with me and i dont want to hurt anyone i never have.

lastexitlondon · September 2019

If my dr is sure then i should be too.
Thats what a normal person would say

Fifthelement · September 2019

Arrrrgh! Stupid quote function!

@lastexitlondon

Rob, I’m glad that you feel that the doctor-patient relationship isn’t broken.

A page back in this thread, on 13 September, njnancy had some amazing wisdom to share with you. I’m going to quote it for you as her points might be useful for your situation.

njnancy said:

Rob, @lastexitlondon

I think that going into a hospital for treatment would be exactly what you need . You are not letting your kids down. You are going to get help for an illness, if you were having constant heart problems, you wouldn't think twice about getting into a hospital. When anxiety & depression are major & not just situational you need to take it as seriously as any other disease.

I've been in psych wards & the feeling of relief once you are settled in &know you will get help without the noise of everything else is incredibly freeing. But you still need to work to be diagnosed & find what works with you .

Tell them about your substance use so they can treat any negative effects the first couple of days. That's important, they need to see you free of any thing you use to alleviate the intense pain. It sounds like you may be having a nervous breakdown, or what they call a major depressive disorder now. Either way, when you can no longer cope it's time to reach out. You are teaching your kids that there is no shame in getting help. They can learn that disorders of the brain are no worse than other illnesses. And if it happens to them some day, they can look at your strength as an example.

I so hope you are in the hospital or getting ready to go. You are worthy of happiness and reaching out here shows you really want to be better and not to harm yourself.

I've been where you are & I know the confusion, but it saved my life.

I may be going into the hospital to deal with my trauma $ PTSD. I'm not getting better & it's time to think of me & my future. I have no support & I have no ability to cope with my situation. I can't help others when I'm a mess. I keep feeling the hurt & betrayal & I need to help myself. It's not weak, its brave. Just need to find the energy to find a place

I told you I would believe in you until you believed in yourself & that is a promise I will never break. I really hope you have made good decisions, just do it , please .❤

A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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