Let's see, he's already closed a bank account, in which I've been the primary person on it since 1989, and now, he has had my cell phone shut off, and changed his number....
I'm in for a battle... I just want it over with dammit!!! :evil:
so this weekend was interesting for me...i was in a wedding on Saturday, and people kept asking me if I was going to be OK with it. There was one part of the vows that made me a little sad, but other than that, I felt great...had an awesome time, actually. Then, last night the bride and I were talking about something--and it triggered a very sweet memory of my own wedding...I ended up having a really good cry. It was the first time I realized that that part of my life is over and that I've really started moving on. I realized that I get to make all new memories with someone else, and I felt really hopeful that the next time, it will be good and right.
So, it was a bittersweet evening--I think I needed it, really.
T minus 10 days and counting. Sign one more fucking piece of paper , Judge adds his and we done. finito. kaput.
One thing threw me though. Kinda stung a little. "Decree of Dissolution " contains the word terminated. Stung alot actually.Please let this hurt go away!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
T minus 10 days and counting. Sign one more fucking piece of paper , Judge adds his and we done. finito. kaput.
One thing threw me though. Kinda stung a little. "Decree of Dissolution " contains the word terminated. Stung alot actually.Please let this hurt go away!!!
yeah...the wording is very cut and dry....like when I told the lawyer that we were married for 6.5 years, and he says "oh, a short-term marriage?" ouch.
T minus 10 days and counting. Sign one more fucking piece of paper , Judge adds his and we done. finito. kaput.
One thing threw me though. Kinda stung a little. "Decree of Dissolution " contains the word terminated. Stung alot actually.Please let this hurt go away!!!
yeah...the wording is very cut and dry....like when I told the lawyer that we were married for 6.5 years, and he says "oh, a short-term marriage?" ouch.
how long was the whole paperwork process for you?
In what sense? Week or so from first draft to final approval and the filing. Short term at six and a half? Ouch is right. He /She might have fell to the floor laughing at one day shy of 19 months at end of hearing next week.
She is a law student and drew up the first draft herself from some examples she researched. My attorney said she did an awesome job , however real world filings required some jurisdictional language and some other things of that nature. He just polished what she came up with really.
All told from start to finish when she told me how she felt to the actual decision by her that this is the only way to aug 11 hearing for judges sig. 2 to 2 1/2 months.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
So, I am slowly joining the ranks of this exclusive group. My wife and I have been entangled in some troubles lately. She is very mad and frustrated with me. She moved in with her parents about a week ago. We were trying counseling, but she has given up on that. It does not look like I have many more options other than separation. Luckily, I have spoken to pearljgirl2010 through PM and she has made some of this stuff seem clearer to me. I wish the best for all of you. If anyone else needs to talk, feel free to PM me.
So, I am slowly joining the ranks of this exclusive group. My wife and I have been entangled in some troubles lately. She is very mad and frustrated with me. She moved in with her parents about a week ago. We were trying counseling, but she has given up on that. It does not look like I have many more options other than separation. Luckily, I have spoken to pearljgirl2010 through PM and she has made some of this stuff seem clearer to me. I wish the best for all of you. If anyone else needs to talk, feel free to PM me.
I'm sure we'd all prefer that you WEREN'T joining this little group...but, there are worse positions you could be in, and separation is probably a good idea. Don't give up on counseling just because she has...I'd recommend you continuing to go anyway...
So, I am slowly joining the ranks of this exclusive group. My wife and I have been entangled in some troubles lately. She is very mad and frustrated with me. She moved in with her parents about a week ago. We were trying counseling, but she has given up on that. It does not look like I have many more options other than separation. Luckily, I have spoken to pearljgirl2010 through PM and she has made some of this stuff seem clearer to me. I wish the best for all of you. If anyone else needs to talk, feel free to PM me.
I'm sure we'd all prefer that you WEREN'T joining this little group...but, there are worse positions you could be in, and separation is probably a good idea. Don't give up on counseling just because she has...I'd recommend you continuing to go anyway...
Oh, I will continue to go to counseling! It has helped me in the past with relationships so I expect it to do the same this time.
This time tomorrow I'll be UNmarried. Sucks balls. beginning to think(today at least) that it might be for the best. Get a chance at happiness with someone who won't do what's been to me. Long time away , but still. She will retain a significant piece of my heart though.And she's welcome to it.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I'm sorry Mickey...I hope you'll be OK tomorrow... last night, I had my official "goodbye" with my guy--he's leaving CA today to go back to NJ for a few months and I don't know when I'll see him again. interesting stuff...
So today I went to "couples" counseling by myself. I have had zero support from the wife on making this work. I had a great talk with the counselor today as she explained how I needed to take care of myself! I have been doing a lot of thinking and talking with friends. i have even managed to re-connect with old friends through facebook!!
I feel similar to mickeyrat, in that I feel like this will all be for the best. My only fear is that she will want to work on this 4 months from now in which case I will probably be in a differrent place. The one thing I liked that the counselor said was, " You have choices". I could not agree with her more!
I am at a loss. I recently found out that my ex (who lives in the basement of my house) has been having a relationship with a 17 year old. He is a trainer and she is a client. I am completely destroyed by this. I'm trying so hard to live my life and not care what he does....but JESUS!! WTF??
Anyway, I guess I just needed to air dirty laundry in the most anonymous way that I know how. I am so full of hatred and spite.
Sorry to spew all my problems...but I am really thankful for this board for that reason especially. Even writing the words is therapeutic. Knowing that people are reading and thinking "Yes! That is fucked up!"
The end of this marriage is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I wish it could just be over. I wish I never had to see him again.
I am at a loss. I recently found out that my ex (who lives in the basement of my house) has been having a relationship with a 17 year old. He is a trainer and she is a client. I am completely destroyed by this. I'm trying so hard to live my life and not care what he does....but JESUS!! WTF??
Anyway, I guess I just needed to air dirty laundry in the most anonymous way that I know how. I am so full of hatred and spite.
Sorry to spew all my problems...but I am really thankful for this board for that reason especially. Even writing the words is therapeutic. Knowing that people are reading and thinking "Yes! That is fucked up!"
The end of this marriage is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I wish it could just be over. I wish I never had to see him again.
Is that legal??? :?
And get him out of you basement .......for your own sanity that just can't be good!
Van 92.07.21 / Van 98.07.19 / Sea 98.07.22 / Tor 98.08.22 / Sea 00.11.06 / Van 03.05.30/ Van 05.09.02/ Gorge 06.07.22 & 23 / EV Van 08.04.02 / Tor 09.08.21 / Sea 09.09.21 & 22 / Van 09.09.25 / Van 11.09.25 / Van 13.12.04 / Pem 16.07.17 / Sea 18.08.10
And get him out of you basement .......for your own sanity that just can't be good!
ugh....it is legal here. 16 is the age of consent.
And the living situation is temporary. I'm going to school, and as soon as I can afford to pay the bills on my own, I will.
Going to get therapy soon.....for my sanity.
Again, I appreciate that I can share it here cause no one really knows us. It's taking every bit of my strength not to send a mass email to his friends and clients and family. But I'm not "that girl". And as sick as it may seem, if this is what he needs to be happy, then so be it. It's just so Jerry Springer. yuck.
i know it doesn't make all well, but at least you have a pj show and a good friend to spend some time with in a few days.
sorry. :(
This helps more than you can even imagine. That poor girl has heard enough pathetic crying from me in the past few months to last a lifetime. She should charge a therapists hourly rate! I'm grateful for friendship. Real friendship. I now realize how flawed my "friendship" with my husband was.
i know it doesn't make all well, but at least you have a pj show and a good friend to spend some time with in a few days.
sorry. :(
This helps more than you can even imagine. That poor girl has heard enough pathetic crying from me in the past few months to last a lifetime. She should charge a therapists hourly rate! I'm grateful for friendship. Real friendship. I now realize how flawed my "friendship" with my husband was.
well, i'm quite doubtful it was pathetic and quite certain your feelings were valid. i know how much you ladies mean to each other and i know how important it is to have someone in your corner whenever...wherever. not necessarily for anything except understanding without judgment. thank god i have one person in my life like that...i wish i had more.
This helps more than you can even imagine. That poor girl has heard enough pathetic crying from me in the past few months to last a lifetime. She should charge a therapists hourly rate! I'm grateful for friendship. Real friendship. I now realize how flawed my "friendship" with my husband was.
I'll always be here for you, I luv ya! there's nothing pathetic about being hurt and needing someone to listen to you. I can't wait to see you, 2 days
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
I'm sorry Mickey...I hope you'll be OK tomorrow... last night, I had my official "goodbye" with my guy--he's leaving CA today to go back to NJ for a few months and I don't know when I'll see him again. interesting stuff...
Save for choking up at the end of the hearing , went far better than I don't know. Wasn't sure WHAT to expect really. However since last week , this sustained sense of peace and calm has enveloped me. ANNNNNND she seems to have taken a greater interest in to my day to day well being. Go figure. I am glad she's willing to be a part of each others lives. As bad as all this has been , that might have drove me over the edge.
Side note on hearing. Lasted ALL of three , count em, three minutes. Thats right 3 fucking minutes to get UNmarried. Took longer than that to get through security!!!!!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
And get him out of you basement .......for your own sanity that just can't be good!
Again, I appreciate that I can share it here cause no one really knows us. It's taking every bit of my strength not to send a mass email to his friends and clients and family. But I'm not "that girl". And as sick as it may seem, if this is what he needs to be happy, then so be it. It's just so Jerry Springer. yuck.
you, my dear, are definitely not "that girl." You're doing what's best for you in the long run...and that's OK.
Save for choking up at the end of the hearing , went far better than I don't know. Wasn't sure WHAT to expect really. However since last week , this sustained sense of peace and calm has enveloped me. ANNNNNND she seems to have taken a greater interest in to my day to day well being. Go figure. I am glad she's willing to be a part of each others lives. As bad as all this has been , that might have drove me over the edge.
Side note on hearing. Lasted ALL of three , count em, three minutes. Thats right 3 fucking minutes to get UNmarried. Took longer than that to get through security!!!!!!!
wow...i'm glad that it went better than you thought it might...and that you have that sense of calm and peace. I hope that continues for you :-)
This helps more than you can even imagine. That poor girl has heard enough pathetic crying from me in the past few months to last a lifetime. She should charge a therapists hourly rate! I'm grateful for friendship. Real friendship. I now realize how flawed my "friendship" with my husband was.
I wouldn't be anything else but a REAL friend to you. I know how painful and heart wrenching divorce is and I would never reach out to you and then leave you hanging. I know how hard it was for you to post that night when everything became out in the open but I am glad you did. We have a lot of similar heartaches and I know what it's like to do it alone... in silence (besides posting here), it' s almost unbearable and sometimes we reach out and do things we know we shouldn't with people that aren't really in it for the right reasons (sigh). If I can be a support to you that deters you from those traps that the pain steers us towards, then what I went through was worth the pain. I want to be here for you so that you can be there for your children and be the awesome mother that you are (we all need an outlet)!
It's strange how we find out who our real friends are in times of troubles and how we make friends that will last a lifetime when we reach out and stay sincere. I still think it's weird how our lives and certain situations seem to parallel each other, and maybe you are the "divorced" Canadian with 2 children of my "dreams" :P (strange twist of fate...eh?)
There is so much to be said for a strong friendship when going through life's hiccups. I was able to encounter a great friend on this board (though I'm sure he won't take the credit for being there for me.... never does :P ) Maybe I'll finally get to thank him at the Philly shows... yes I mean you STEVE! I also have to say that You..Miggy... have been there for me JUST as much as I've been there for you. I have friends that I've gone through life with and none of them have offered me an ounce of support that I have found through the FRIENDS I've met here. A lot of the "real life" friends (as Steve calls them) decided they were too busy in the joys of their life to try and understand what was happening for me.... Understandable I suppose, everyone has the right to be happy and enjoy that happiness (but some turn a blind eye to others pain).
There were also friends who decided that divorce meant having to choose who's side they were on and a good majority went with my ex since knowing him longer ( I think these are the problems with growing up with a spouse; you don't have separate lives or friends and it's harder to find yourself without the person or the life you once had... and a lot of time we "try out" new ones until we find one that fits) I hope that I can offer you something that makes this transition in your life just a little easier and maybe seeing me a year or so ahead in the process give a bit of hope to you in getting past this (though I am STILL crazy at times ).
so enough of my babble... tomorrow night you'll be listening to my drunk babble in person!
If anything, I have to say I'm glad my life took this turn because I've met some real friends from it.... people I would of never encountered otherwise.
It's weird the path life takes you on... the hardest part is trying to make the "less wrong" decisions.
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
Sept 1....divorce was "successfully filed." Ironically, the 6 month waiting period in CA puts us at the same week as our anniversary in March--guess it really will go full circle
Sept 1....divorce was "successfully filed." Ironically, the 6 month waiting period in CA puts us at the same week as our anniversary in March--guess it really will go full circle
I think it's interesting when dates line up like that. :geek:
Sept 1....divorce was "successfully filed." Ironically, the 6 month waiting period in CA puts us at the same week as our anniversary in March--guess it really will go full circle
I think it's interesting when dates line up like that. :geek:
yeah, i was told she wanted a divorce while sitting on a beach on my BIRTHDAY !!! lol. so now every august 7th i think of that instead of it being my b-day. good times.
but hey, it all worked out. I'm glad we are not together anymore.
Peace, Love.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
yeah, i was told she wanted a divorce while sitting on a beach on my BIRTHDAY !!! lol. so now every august 7th i think of that instead of it being my b-day. good times.
but hey, it all worked out. I'm glad we are not together anymore.
Thankfully my divorce date doesn't match up with anything... Honestly I don't even recall the date. All I remember is that it's sometime in March, I think. Too bad my Anniversary date is memorial day weekend.. I'll never be able to forget that fucker.
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
Comments
I'm in for a battle... I just want it over with dammit!!! :evil:
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
it sure will be!
so this weekend was interesting for me...i was in a wedding on Saturday, and people kept asking me if I was going to be OK with it. There was one part of the vows that made me a little sad, but other than that, I felt great...had an awesome time, actually. Then, last night the bride and I were talking about something--and it triggered a very sweet memory of my own wedding...I ended up having a really good cry. It was the first time I realized that that part of my life is over and that I've really started moving on. I realized that I get to make all new memories with someone else, and I felt really hopeful that the next time, it will be good and right.
So, it was a bittersweet evening--I think I needed it, really.
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
One thing threw me though. Kinda stung a little. "Decree of Dissolution " contains the word terminated. Stung alot actually.Please let this hurt go away!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
yeah...the wording is very cut and dry....like when I told the lawyer that we were married for 6.5 years, and he says "oh, a short-term marriage?" ouch.
how long was the whole paperwork process for you?
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
She is a law student and drew up the first draft herself from some examples she researched. My attorney said she did an awesome job , however real world filings required some jurisdictional language and some other things of that nature. He just polished what she came up with really.
All told from start to finish when she told me how she felt to the actual decision by her that this is the only way to aug 11 hearing for judges sig. 2 to 2 1/2 months.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I'm sure we'd all prefer that you WEREN'T joining this little group...but, there are worse positions you could be in, and separation is probably a good idea. Don't give up on counseling just because she has...I'd recommend you continuing to go anyway...
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
Oh, I will continue to go to counseling! It has helped me in the past with relationships so I expect it to do the same this time.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I never hugged a rat before!!!
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
I'm sorry Mickey...I hope you'll be OK tomorrow... last night, I had my official "goodbye" with my guy--he's leaving CA today to go back to NJ for a few months and I don't know when I'll see him again. interesting stuff...
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
I feel similar to mickeyrat, in that I feel like this will all be for the best. My only fear is that she will want to work on this 4 months from now in which case I will probably be in a differrent place. The one thing I liked that the counselor said was, " You have choices". I could not agree with her more!
Hope everyone is doing well!
Cheers!
Anyway, I guess I just needed to air dirty laundry in the most anonymous way that I know how. I am so full of hatred and spite.
Sorry to spew all my problems...but I am really thankful for this board for that reason especially. Even writing the words is therapeutic. Knowing that people are reading and thinking "Yes! That is fucked up!"
The end of this marriage is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I wish it could just be over. I wish I never had to see him again.
Is that legal??? :?
And get him out of you basement .......for your own sanity that just can't be good!
ugh....it is legal here. 16 is the age of consent.
And the living situation is temporary. I'm going to school, and as soon as I can afford to pay the bills on my own, I will.
Going to get therapy soon.....for my sanity.
Again, I appreciate that I can share it here cause no one really knows us. It's taking every bit of my strength not to send a mass email to his friends and clients and family. But I'm not "that girl". And as sick as it may seem, if this is what he needs to be happy, then so be it. It's just so Jerry Springer. yuck.
sorry. :(
This helps more than you can even imagine. That poor girl has heard enough pathetic crying from me in the past few months to last a lifetime. She should charge a therapists hourly rate! I'm grateful for friendship. Real friendship. I now realize how flawed my "friendship" with my husband was.
well, i'm quite doubtful it was pathetic and quite certain your feelings were valid. i know how much you ladies mean to each other and i know how important it is to have someone in your corner whenever...wherever. not necessarily for anything except understanding without judgment. thank god i have one person in my life like that...i wish i had more.
Side note on hearing. Lasted ALL of three , count em, three minutes. Thats right 3 fucking minutes to get UNmarried. Took longer than that to get through security!!!!!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
you, my dear, are definitely not "that girl." You're doing what's best for you in the long run...and that's OK.
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
wow...i'm glad that it went better than you thought it might...and that you have that sense of calm and peace. I hope that continues for you :-)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
I wouldn't be anything else but a REAL friend to you. I know how painful and heart wrenching divorce is and I would never reach out to you and then leave you hanging. I know how hard it was for you to post that night when everything became out in the open but I am glad you did. We have a lot of similar heartaches and I know what it's like to do it alone... in silence (besides posting here), it' s almost unbearable and sometimes we reach out and do things we know we shouldn't with people that aren't really in it for the right reasons (sigh). If I can be a support to you that deters you from those traps that the pain steers us towards, then what I went through was worth the pain. I want to be here for you so that you can be there for your children and be the awesome mother that you are (we all need an outlet)!
It's strange how we find out who our real friends are in times of troubles and how we make friends that will last a lifetime when we reach out and stay sincere. I still think it's weird how our lives and certain situations seem to parallel each other, and maybe you are the "divorced" Canadian with 2 children of my "dreams" :P (strange twist of fate...eh?)
There is so much to be said for a strong friendship when going through life's hiccups. I was able to encounter a great friend on this board (though I'm sure he won't take the credit for being there for me.... never does :P ) Maybe I'll finally get to thank him at the Philly shows... yes I mean you STEVE! I also have to say that You..Miggy... have been there for me JUST as much as I've been there for you. I have friends that I've gone through life with and none of them have offered me an ounce of support that I have found through the FRIENDS I've met here. A lot of the "real life" friends (as Steve calls them) decided they were too busy in the joys of their life to try and understand what was happening for me.... Understandable I suppose, everyone has the right to be happy and enjoy that happiness (but some turn a blind eye to others pain).
There were also friends who decided that divorce meant having to choose who's side they were on and a good majority went with my ex since knowing him longer ( I think these are the problems with growing up with a spouse; you don't have separate lives or friends and it's harder to find yourself without the person or the life you once had... and a lot of time we "try out" new ones until we find one that fits) I hope that I can offer you something that makes this transition in your life just a little easier and maybe seeing me a year or so ahead in the process give a bit of hope to you in getting past this (though I am STILL crazy at times
so enough of my babble... tomorrow night you'll be listening to my drunk babble in person!
If anything, I have to say I'm glad my life took this turn because I've met some real friends from it.... people I would of never encountered otherwise.
It's weird the path life takes you on... the hardest part is trying to make the "less wrong" decisions.
I agree...things do happen for a reason, even if that reason isn't clear right away...
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
I think it's interesting when dates line up like that. :geek:
yeah, i was told she wanted a divorce while sitting on a beach on my BIRTHDAY !!! lol. so now every august 7th i think of that instead of it being my b-day. good times.
but hey, it all worked out. I'm glad we are not together anymore.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel