I'm not at that stage yet. I'm kinda in the cycle of the process where waves of heartbroken emotions overtake me for a moment. I also wake up in my new place often and wonder how I got here and why my best friend of 13 years won't even say goodbye.
Anyone ever at the beginning obsess about your ex being with someone else? I can't get that image out of my mind....
i really struggled with this for a long time. like 9 months or so. those images you write of do slowly go away. i am at the point where i am so wrapped up in other things and my 2 bands and my writing and my fighting that i do not have the time to obsess about her being with someone else anymore. but that really messed with me for long time, especially after knowing who the guy was.
the waves of heartbroken emotion begin to fade as well. people need to try to focus on being themselves again. and soon you will begin to miss those feelings of heartbroken emotion. for awhile i felt guilty about feeling better, but then i came to realize that she had moved on and there was no reason for me to feel down because she did not even give enough of a shit about me to be faithful during the relationship, so why would she care if i was devastated or still hurting from everything? it gets better. look at it like this, every day is a new day. be thankful you have the opportunity to live another day and be thankful for the chance to move one more day closer to being back to your normal self again.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
every day is a new day. be thankful you have the opportunity to live another day and be thankful for the chance to move one more day closer to being back to your normal self again.
So true ... I didn't want to go on but I certainly wasn't going to die ..
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
here is an interesting from huffpost. it was on the front page today and thought it might be appropriate. it explains mourning in a physiologic sense. it is pretty interesting.
If you've been left by your husband for another woman, you may have wondered why the pain is so excruciating. Women tend describe the experience in extreme terms. A sixty two year old woman I interviewed for my book, whose husband left her for someone else after thirty-three years of marriage, was typical:
"I cried every day for two months. I still cry two years later. And railed and screamed in the car and burned his suit in effigy in the backyard, every witchy, crazy, demented thing you can think of. I drove by their house and hid in the bushes. I could be at work, get overwhelmed and go into the mini gym and cry and walk on the treadmill as fast as I could until it passed. I lost thirty pounds but gained ten back. Jangled nerves, twitching eyes, hyper alert. So sad like you wouldn't believe. This is the guy I'd been with since age twenty-three, the only guy for more than half my life and all my adult life. It was depressing that he was pulling away into alcoholism anyway but this was the coup de gras."
Romantic rejection actually triggers changes in our brains, according to anthropologist Helen Fisher, who has studied the chemistry of romantic love. Her research was eye-opening for me. It answered a lot of questions about my own reactions to being cheated on and rejected, and will probably shine some light on yours. She describes how brain scans of rejected people suggest that they secrete excess dopamine and cortisol during the initial phase of being rejected. That's why rejected lovers get frantic and tend to relentlessly pursue their beloved. They may also take humiliating measures to reconnect with him or her--anything from writing letters to storming into the other lover's home to begging him to change his mind.
Paradoxically, along with the stress and the impulse to protest, abandoned lovers also feel renewed passion. This has a biological basis. Dopamine is the chemical in the brain that produces romantic love. But when love is thwarted, dopamine-producing neurons in the brain's reward system prolong their activities. As the beloved slips away, the very chemical that contributes to feelings of romantic love becomes even more potent, creating protest and romantic passion--which impels the abandoned wife to go to extremes to get him back. I certainly sprang into action as soon as my husband told me he was leaving and tried desperately to hang on to him. All of a sudden I felt intense love and attraction for him when previously I'd felt mostly indifference.
Brain chemistry goes a long way to explain the intense rage we experience as well. It seems that love and hate/rage are connected in the brain. The primary rage system is closely linked to centers in the prefrontal cortex that anticipate rewards. The common response to unfulfilled expectations is known as 'frustration-aggression.' In short, when people and other animals begin to realize that an expected reward is in jeopardy, even unattainable, these centers in the prefrontal cortex trigger fury. Both love and hate produce excessive energy, drive you to focus obsessively on the beloved and cause intense yearning. They can exist simultaneously, which is why we vacillate wildly between love and hate when in the throes of being rejected.
"You can be terribly angry at a rejecting sweetheart," says Fisher, "but still very much in love." This reaction explains why jilted lovers stalk and sometimes kill their exes, or even resort to suicide. Men commit the majority of homicides while women may attempt suicide. Luckily many suicidal women fail to kill themselves because they're probably making the attempt to manipulate the rejecting husband into returning. However, many do succeed even if they didn't really intend to die. Even though our strongest drive is survival, the drive to love can triumph even over the will to live.
Eventually these feelings wane and you must deal with another form of torture, hopelessness and despair. In a study of 114 men and women who had been rejected within the past eight weeks, some forty percent experienced 'clinically measurable depression. The expression, dying of a broken heart, is not just hyperbole. People do actually die of a broken heart. They expire from heart attacks or strokes caused by their depression. These statistics probably come from a study of rejection in college students where most psychologists do their studies. If clinical depression is that common after rejection when you're just dating, imagine how severe it is after twenty years of marriage. Fisher compares the process to the infant mammal when separated from its mother. When you isolate a puppy in the kitchen at first it protests. Eventually, however, it curls up in a corner in a despondent heap.
It's amazing so many of us survive, and actually bounce back to find a better life. As severe as our response is to grief, for almost all of us the will to survive is stronger. We're programmed to forget and go on. I often think of what it must have been like in earlier days when women lost so many children before age five. Their grief was just as intense as ours would be at such a loss, but they got over it and bore more children or the human race wouldn't have survived. We have inherited this ability to grieve and go on. The expression "time heals" is totally accurate.
Of course not all of us suffer equally. How we react depends on many things, including our upbringing. The same women who deal best with loneliness because they had secure attachments as children, have the self-esteem and resilience to overcome a romantic setback relatively quickly. Those of us who grew up in tense, loveless homes where we constantly had to deal with chaos or rejection, are often left with few defenses after being dumped. Biology plays a part as well. We all know women with sunny dispositions, who always see the glass as half full. They take everything, including being left for another woman, with more equanimity and bounce back more quickly. Those of us (like me I'm sad to say) who are glass-half-empty types suffer for longer and may creep, rather than bounce, back. However, eventually I recovered and so will you.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
Interesting article and absolutely the truth I have seen that happen.But I had to fight for every breathe and the belief that it wouldn't happen to me.
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
I haven’t posted in this thread in a very long time….and it might not have even been this particular thread, something of the sort tho.
I was married for 12 years, been divorced 8 years now.
We were married for 5 wonderful years before we had our first child, a beautiful son.
We were blessed almost 4 years after that with another son.
Our marriage was falling apart quickly, my husband had an addiction that took him over.
In order to take care of my kids, I had to leave. We separated for over a year, I always hoped we would be able to work it out. Broken and sad and with no hope of him “recovering” in sight, I filed for divorce the following year. I had to sell our home, for which I was
very bitter and upset to have to move our children out of their comfort. I was frowned on by his family as I was his wife and I should have stood by him “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health”. I was devastated for a long time, he was my love. I started to get MAD at the situation at times, this was not the life I ordered. I took care of our children the best I could without any help from him. He was gone for a long time having no contact with our children or me. I still had contact with his parents, so they could see their grandchildren, even tho it was pretty stressed at times as they were now dealing with their son and his addiction. Still tho, at this point, they didn’t seem to understand why I had to get away from it. My ex-husband ended up doing some time (no surprise due to his addiction-but still surprising, if you knew him and his upbringing, you’d never guess it).
When he was released, our children were 7 and 11. With a new hope, we tried to make our LOVE work again. I tried, I really tried but I could never TRUST him again. I realized this and had to let the hope go, it wasn’t and ugly break up or a mean break up, I just knew I couldn’t allow myself to ever feel that hurt again and because of that, I couldn’t be in a relationship with him. We were still friends and at this point he was spending great quality time with our kids. He was Sober for about a year and a half and things were good with him and the kids, even him and I, always hugged when we exchanged kids, even sometimes shared a kiss and an ‘I love you’. It never felt wrong.
Fast Forward a few years and things spiraled downward. He was back in the throws of his addiction, jobless and almost homeless as his parents were finally at their breaking point with him. In the last year, he has been homeless and most of the time, nobody has any idea where he may be. We saw him in January for about an hour, he was a mess. I wouldn’t have recognized him if I saw him walking down the street. It broke our oldest son’s heart (he is 15 now) and very aware of what is going on with his father. After that short visit with him, his parents asked him to please come back home, they wanted to try to help him get some sort of recovery. He spoke to our oldest son everyday after that on the telephone for at least 10 minutes a day. That warmed my heart, it was good for both of them. At the end of February I asked my son if he had talked to his dad that day to which he responded, “I haven’t talked to him in a few days, his phone goes straight to voice mail.” Immediately, that strikes fear in me. I let it go that night and asked him the same thing the next night and I got the same response from my son, this time…there was fear in his eyes too.
On March 3rd my phone rang and it was my ex-husbands mother, calling to tell me the father of my children, the man I married and loved with my whole heart, had passed away. My heart is broken. My children are fatherless. Even though we were divorced, he was still the man that I married, that we made these beautiful children with.
Even til the end, we always said “I LOVE YOU”.
His services were on March 12th and it was beautiful, yet strange for me.
I am his ex-wife, neither of us ever re-married and we had our sweet kids. I sat in the front with his parents and our children but still, I felt very strange because I was feeling things I didn’t think I should be feeling……..I was no longer his wife……yet it hurt and I cried and I’m still crying and grieving.
My kids are very close with his parents and his parents have been very good to me in all of this. I’m not sure how I fit into what is left of him here. I took our kids to see his parents on Sunday and we had a great visit. We played board games and looked at pictures and talked about their dad……..he is no longer suffering, I know I have to see it that way but I’m still so sad and hurt that my kids do not have a father and I’m hurt and sad for what him and I could not fix between us.
I’m not sure why I’m posting this here, but I finally needed to write about it.
I’ve talked with some of you before about “relationship” things.
I know I’ve talked to mickeyrat and changeinwaves, thanks for always listening.
No matter how much it hurts, love is beautiful and soooo worth it.
The best use of Life is Love.
The best expression of Love is Time.
The best time to Love is Now.
I haven’t posted in this thread in a very long time….and it might not have even been this particular thread, something of the sort tho.
I was married for 12 years, been divorced 8 years now.
We were married for 5 wonderful years before we had our first child, a beautiful son.
We were blessed almost 4 years after that with another son.
Our marriage was falling apart quickly, my husband had an addiction that took him over.
In order to take care of my kids, I had to leave. We separated for over a year, I always hoped we would be able to work it out. Broken and sad and with no hope of him “recovering” in sight, I filed for divorce the following year. I had to sell our home, for which I was
very bitter and upset to have to move our children out of their comfort. I was frowned on by his family as I was his wife and I should have stood by him “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health”. I was devastated for a long time, he was my love. I started to get MAD at the situation at times, this was not the life I ordered. I took care of our children the best I could without any help from him. He was gone for a long time having no contact with our children or me. I still had contact with his parents, so they could see their grandchildren, even tho it was pretty stressed at times as they were now dealing with their son and his addiction. Still tho, at this point, they didn’t seem to understand why I had to get away from it. My ex-husband ended up doing some time (no surprise due to his addiction-but still surprising, if you knew him and his upbringing, you’d never guess it).
When he was released, our children were 7 and 11. With a new hope, we tried to make our LOVE work again. I tried, I really tried but I could never TRUST him again. I realized this and had to let the hope go, it wasn’t and ugly break up or a mean break up, I just knew I couldn’t allow myself to ever feel that hurt again and because of that, I couldn’t be in a relationship with him. We were still friends and at this point he was spending great quality time with our kids. He was Sober for about a year and a half and things were good with him and the kids, even him and I, always hugged when we exchanged kids, even sometimes shared a kiss and an ‘I love you’. It never felt wrong.
Fast Forward a few years and things spiraled downward. He was back in the throws of his addiction, jobless and almost homeless as his parents were finally at their breaking point with him. In the last year, he has been homeless and most of the time, nobody has any idea where he may be. We saw him in January for about an hour, he was a mess. I wouldn’t have recognized him if I saw him walking down the street. It broke our oldest son’s heart (he is 15 now) and very aware of what is going on with his father. After that short visit with him, his parents asked him to please come back home, they wanted to try to help him get some sort of recovery. He spoke to our oldest son everyday after that on the telephone for at least 10 minutes a day. That warmed my heart, it was good for both of them. At the end of February I asked my son if he had talked to his dad that day to which he responded, “I haven’t talked to him in a few days, his phone goes straight to voice mail.” Immediately, that strikes fear in me. I let it go that night and asked him the same thing the next night and I got the same response from my son, this time…there was fear in his eyes too.
On March 3rd my phone rang and it was my ex-husbands mother, calling to tell me the father of my children, the man I married and loved with my whole heart, had passed away. My heart is broken. My children are fatherless. Even though we were divorced, he was still the man that I married, that we made these beautiful children with.
Even til the end, we always said “I LOVE YOU”.
His services were on March 12th and it was beautiful, yet strange for me.
I am his ex-wife, neither of us ever re-married and we had our sweet kids. I sat in the front with his parents and our children but still, I felt very strange because I was feeling things I didn’t think I should be feeling……..I was no longer his wife……yet it hurt and I cried and I’m still crying and grieving.
My kids are very close with his parents and his parents have been very good to me in all of this. I’m not sure how I fit into what is left of him here. I took our kids to see his parents on Sunday and we had a great visit. We played board games and looked at pictures and talked about their dad……..he is no longer suffering, I know I have to see it that way but I’m still so sad and hurt that my kids do not have a father and I’m hurt and sad for what him and I could not fix between us.
I’m not sure why I’m posting this here, but I finally needed to write about it.
I’ve talked with some of you before about “relationship” things.
I know I’ve talked to mickeyrat and changeinwaves, thanks for always listening.
No matter how much it hurts, love is beautiful and soooo worth it.
Many times it helps in the grieving process to put those feelings into words..beautiful words....thanks for sharing those words and best wishes to you and your children. Also I've been there in some ways. :(
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
No matter how much it hurts, love is beautiful and soooo worth it.
this right here...sums it up perfectly. I am truly sorry for both your's and your kids' loss..he was still someone who meant a lot to you, whether you were married or not, and that is a beautiful thing.
No matter how much it hurts, love is beautiful and soooo worth it.
You have a beautiful soul Pix. Your children are very, very lucky to have you for a mom.
I am sorry for your husband; that his addiction took over his life, your life (for a time) and took away precious years from your children. I sincerely hope that he is now at peace. My sympathies to you and your boys ((((hugs))))
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
Comments
the waves of heartbroken emotion begin to fade as well. people need to try to focus on being themselves again. and soon you will begin to miss those feelings of heartbroken emotion. for awhile i felt guilty about feeling better, but then i came to realize that she had moved on and there was no reason for me to feel down because she did not even give enough of a shit about me to be faithful during the relationship, so why would she care if i was devastated or still hurting from everything? it gets better. look at it like this, every day is a new day. be thankful you have the opportunity to live another day and be thankful for the chance to move one more day closer to being back to your normal self again.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
So true ... I didn't want to go on but I certainly wasn't going to die ..
You Really Can Die of a Broken Heart
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erica-man ... 38230.html
If you've been left by your husband for another woman, you may have wondered why the pain is so excruciating. Women tend describe the experience in extreme terms. A sixty two year old woman I interviewed for my book, whose husband left her for someone else after thirty-three years of marriage, was typical:
"I cried every day for two months. I still cry two years later. And railed and screamed in the car and burned his suit in effigy in the backyard, every witchy, crazy, demented thing you can think of. I drove by their house and hid in the bushes. I could be at work, get overwhelmed and go into the mini gym and cry and walk on the treadmill as fast as I could until it passed. I lost thirty pounds but gained ten back. Jangled nerves, twitching eyes, hyper alert. So sad like you wouldn't believe. This is the guy I'd been with since age twenty-three, the only guy for more than half my life and all my adult life. It was depressing that he was pulling away into alcoholism anyway but this was the coup de gras."
Romantic rejection actually triggers changes in our brains, according to anthropologist Helen Fisher, who has studied the chemistry of romantic love. Her research was eye-opening for me. It answered a lot of questions about my own reactions to being cheated on and rejected, and will probably shine some light on yours. She describes how brain scans of rejected people suggest that they secrete excess dopamine and cortisol during the initial phase of being rejected. That's why rejected lovers get frantic and tend to relentlessly pursue their beloved. They may also take humiliating measures to reconnect with him or her--anything from writing letters to storming into the other lover's home to begging him to change his mind.
Paradoxically, along with the stress and the impulse to protest, abandoned lovers also feel renewed passion. This has a biological basis. Dopamine is the chemical in the brain that produces romantic love. But when love is thwarted, dopamine-producing neurons in the brain's reward system prolong their activities. As the beloved slips away, the very chemical that contributes to feelings of romantic love becomes even more potent, creating protest and romantic passion--which impels the abandoned wife to go to extremes to get him back. I certainly sprang into action as soon as my husband told me he was leaving and tried desperately to hang on to him. All of a sudden I felt intense love and attraction for him when previously I'd felt mostly indifference.
Brain chemistry goes a long way to explain the intense rage we experience as well. It seems that love and hate/rage are connected in the brain. The primary rage system is closely linked to centers in the prefrontal cortex that anticipate rewards. The common response to unfulfilled expectations is known as 'frustration-aggression.' In short, when people and other animals begin to realize that an expected reward is in jeopardy, even unattainable, these centers in the prefrontal cortex trigger fury. Both love and hate produce excessive energy, drive you to focus obsessively on the beloved and cause intense yearning. They can exist simultaneously, which is why we vacillate wildly between love and hate when in the throes of being rejected.
"You can be terribly angry at a rejecting sweetheart," says Fisher, "but still very much in love." This reaction explains why jilted lovers stalk and sometimes kill their exes, or even resort to suicide. Men commit the majority of homicides while women may attempt suicide. Luckily many suicidal women fail to kill themselves because they're probably making the attempt to manipulate the rejecting husband into returning. However, many do succeed even if they didn't really intend to die. Even though our strongest drive is survival, the drive to love can triumph even over the will to live.
Eventually these feelings wane and you must deal with another form of torture, hopelessness and despair. In a study of 114 men and women who had been rejected within the past eight weeks, some forty percent experienced 'clinically measurable depression. The expression, dying of a broken heart, is not just hyperbole. People do actually die of a broken heart. They expire from heart attacks or strokes caused by their depression. These statistics probably come from a study of rejection in college students where most psychologists do their studies. If clinical depression is that common after rejection when you're just dating, imagine how severe it is after twenty years of marriage. Fisher compares the process to the infant mammal when separated from its mother. When you isolate a puppy in the kitchen at first it protests. Eventually, however, it curls up in a corner in a despondent heap.
It's amazing so many of us survive, and actually bounce back to find a better life. As severe as our response is to grief, for almost all of us the will to survive is stronger. We're programmed to forget and go on. I often think of what it must have been like in earlier days when women lost so many children before age five. Their grief was just as intense as ours would be at such a loss, but they got over it and bore more children or the human race wouldn't have survived. We have inherited this ability to grieve and go on. The expression "time heals" is totally accurate.
Of course not all of us suffer equally. How we react depends on many things, including our upbringing. The same women who deal best with loneliness because they had secure attachments as children, have the self-esteem and resilience to overcome a romantic setback relatively quickly. Those of us who grew up in tense, loveless homes where we constantly had to deal with chaos or rejection, are often left with few defenses after being dumped. Biology plays a part as well. We all know women with sunny dispositions, who always see the glass as half full. They take everything, including being left for another woman, with more equanimity and bounce back more quickly. Those of us (like me I'm sad to say) who are glass-half-empty types suffer for longer and may creep, rather than bounce, back. However, eventually I recovered and so will you.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
Interesting article and absolutely the truth I have seen that happen.But I had to fight for every breathe and the belief that it wouldn't happen to me.
I was married for 12 years, been divorced 8 years now.
We were married for 5 wonderful years before we had our first child, a beautiful son.
We were blessed almost 4 years after that with another son.
Our marriage was falling apart quickly, my husband had an addiction that took him over.
In order to take care of my kids, I had to leave. We separated for over a year, I always hoped we would be able to work it out. Broken and sad and with no hope of him “recovering” in sight, I filed for divorce the following year. I had to sell our home, for which I was
very bitter and upset to have to move our children out of their comfort. I was frowned on by his family as I was his wife and I should have stood by him “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health”. I was devastated for a long time, he was my love. I started to get MAD at the situation at times, this was not the life I ordered. I took care of our children the best I could without any help from him. He was gone for a long time having no contact with our children or me. I still had contact with his parents, so they could see their grandchildren, even tho it was pretty stressed at times as they were now dealing with their son and his addiction. Still tho, at this point, they didn’t seem to understand why I had to get away from it. My ex-husband ended up doing some time (no surprise due to his addiction-but still surprising, if you knew him and his upbringing, you’d never guess it).
When he was released, our children were 7 and 11. With a new hope, we tried to make our LOVE work again. I tried, I really tried but I could never TRUST him again. I realized this and had to let the hope go, it wasn’t and ugly break up or a mean break up, I just knew I couldn’t allow myself to ever feel that hurt again and because of that, I couldn’t be in a relationship with him. We were still friends and at this point he was spending great quality time with our kids. He was Sober for about a year and a half and things were good with him and the kids, even him and I, always hugged when we exchanged kids, even sometimes shared a kiss and an ‘I love you’. It never felt wrong.
Fast Forward a few years and things spiraled downward. He was back in the throws of his addiction, jobless and almost homeless as his parents were finally at their breaking point with him. In the last year, he has been homeless and most of the time, nobody has any idea where he may be. We saw him in January for about an hour, he was a mess. I wouldn’t have recognized him if I saw him walking down the street. It broke our oldest son’s heart (he is 15 now) and very aware of what is going on with his father. After that short visit with him, his parents asked him to please come back home, they wanted to try to help him get some sort of recovery. He spoke to our oldest son everyday after that on the telephone for at least 10 minutes a day. That warmed my heart, it was good for both of them. At the end of February I asked my son if he had talked to his dad that day to which he responded, “I haven’t talked to him in a few days, his phone goes straight to voice mail.” Immediately, that strikes fear in me. I let it go that night and asked him the same thing the next night and I got the same response from my son, this time…there was fear in his eyes too.
On March 3rd my phone rang and it was my ex-husbands mother, calling to tell me the father of my children, the man I married and loved with my whole heart, had passed away. My heart is broken. My children are fatherless. Even though we were divorced, he was still the man that I married, that we made these beautiful children with.
Even til the end, we always said “I LOVE YOU”.
His services were on March 12th and it was beautiful, yet strange for me.
I am his ex-wife, neither of us ever re-married and we had our sweet kids. I sat in the front with his parents and our children but still, I felt very strange because I was feeling things I didn’t think I should be feeling……..I was no longer his wife……yet it hurt and I cried and I’m still crying and grieving.
My kids are very close with his parents and his parents have been very good to me in all of this. I’m not sure how I fit into what is left of him here. I took our kids to see his parents on Sunday and we had a great visit. We played board games and looked at pictures and talked about their dad……..he is no longer suffering, I know I have to see it that way but I’m still so sad and hurt that my kids do not have a father and I’m hurt and sad for what him and I could not fix between us.
I’m not sure why I’m posting this here, but I finally needed to write about it.
I’ve talked with some of you before about “relationship” things.
I know I’ve talked to mickeyrat and changeinwaves, thanks for always listening.
No matter how much it hurts, love is beautiful and soooo worth it.
The best expression of Love is Time.
The best time to Love is Now.
I'm never as good as when you're there.........
Many times it helps in the grieving process to put those feelings into words..beautiful words....thanks for sharing those words and best wishes to you and your children. Also I've been there in some ways. :(
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
this right here...sums it up perfectly. I am truly sorry for both your's and your kids' loss..he was still someone who meant a lot to you, whether you were married or not, and that is a beautiful thing.
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
You have a beautiful soul Pix. Your children are very, very lucky to have you for a mom.
I am sorry for your husband; that his addiction took over his life, your life (for a time) and took away precious years from your children. I sincerely hope that he is now at peace. My sympathies to you and your boys ((((hugs))))