Separating/Divorcing-Anyone in the process?

1…89111314…25

Comments

  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    mickeyrat wrote:
    So it's been a month since this began. Dissolution in the works. Still don't agree with the decision , but what can I do?Appears to be a fairly easy process. And further , while I don't agree with the decision , we are cooperating with each other. So I have that going for me! :mrgreen:

    I think cooperating with each other is great--and whether you agree with the decision or not, it's going to help you in the long run if you can keep it amicable.

    I'm getting the dissolution started myself. I met with a lawyer last week who gave me the lowdown on the process, and I'm surprised about how easy it seems so far (just hope it continues to be easy....)
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,715
    edited July 2009
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    So it's been a month since this began. Dissolution in the works. Still don't agree with the decision , but what can I do?Appears to be a fairly easy process. And further , while I don't agree with the decision , we are cooperating with each other. So I have that going for me! :mrgreen:

    I think cooperating with each other is great--and whether you agree with the decision or not, it's going to help you in the long run if you can keep it amicable.

    I'm getting the dissolution started myself. I met with a lawyer last week who gave me the lowdown on the process, and I'm surprised about how easy it seems so far (just hope it continues to be easy....)
    Yes the cooperation is a must. I do love her dearly and want to leave the door open and not burn any bridges with her. She's too important to me to do that.
    She says she loves , just no longer as her husband. Believes we have grown to far apart to go to counseling and work on our relationship. There are other issues which I won't go into here , as she is a member too and that stuff is a private matter.And further I'm not looking to hurt her in any kind of forum.

    I have a very good attorney , who has inserted some clauses to protect the both of us. She is a law student and drafted the initial papers herself. Did a good job too. So yes I agree a simple and straightforward process. Still don't like this path we're on , but c'est la vie!


    Funny how things change.Totally different feelings toward the future now
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Yes the cooperation is a must. I do love her dearly and want to leave the door open and not burn any bridges with her. She's too important to me to do that.
    She says she loves , just no longer as her husband. Believes we have grown to far apart to go to counseling and work on our relationship. There are other issues which I won't go into here , as she is a member too and that stuff is a private matter.And further I'm not looking to hurt her in any kind of forum.

    I have a very good attorney , who has inserted some clauses to protect the both of us. She is a law student and drafted the initial papers herself. Did a good job too. So yes I agree a simple and straightforward process. Still don't like this path we're on , but c'est la vie!

    and so begins my process...we already agreed on the "terms" and now just have to give the lawyer the $ to get the ball rolling. it's kinda crazy how this works.
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • PearlOfAGirl
    PearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    I've been calling this pro bono referral place for over a month now, and finally yesterday I actually spoke with someone... now I just have to wait to see if I qualify :roll:

    It will be almost two months since I've moved out, and I must say I love it, but I still miss my dogs, and I don't have a car, which would bring me more freedom, instead of depending on other people's schedule's to do things...

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,715
    17 days til this thorn in my side is removed. NEVER get married. You'll wind up getting fucked over like I did.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    HeartShapedBox wrote:
    I've been calling this pro bono referral place for over a month now, and finally yesterday I actually spoke with someone... now I just have to wait to see if I qualify :roll:

    It will be almost two months since I've moved out, and I must say I love it, but I still miss my dogs, and I don't have a car, which would bring me more freedom, instead of depending on other people's schedule's to do things...


    I hope that you qualify--that would be so helpful...anything you can do to make this easier on yourself would be great...we found our lawyer thru a friend, and it's only costing us about 1/3 of what it would have otherwise.

    my news---the paperwork was sent in on Thursday, so things are finally happening! I moved into a new apartment...and i'm HAPPY! I hope the rest of you can be happy soon too
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • Arcticangel
    Arcticangel Posts: 1,443
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:

    my news---the paperwork was sent in on Thursday, so things are finally happening! I moved into a new apartment...and i'm HAPPY! I hope the rest of you can be happy soon too


    Glad to hear it girl. :) Hope I see you soon so we can celebrate your exciting new start!!
    PJ: St. Paul 6.16.2003, St. Paul 6.26.2006, St. Paul 6.27.2006, Hartford 6.27.2008, Mansfield 6.28.2008, Mansfield 6.30.2008, Beacon Theater 7.1.2008, Toronto 8.21.2009, Chicago 8.23.2009, Chicago 8.24.2009, Philly 10.30.2009, Philly 10.31.2009, Columbus 5.6.2010, Noblesville 5.7.2010

    EV: Los Angeles 4.12.2008, Los Angeles 4.13.2008, Nashville 6.17.2009, Nashville 6.18.2009, Memphis 6.20.2009
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    Arcticangel wrote:
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:

    my news---the paperwork was sent in on Thursday, so things are finally happening! I moved into a new apartment...and i'm HAPPY! I hope the rest of you can be happy soon too


    Glad to hear it girl. :) Hope I see you soon so we can celebrate your exciting new start!!

    Agreed. I'm glad it's moving forward for you....Seems to be standing uncomfortably still here. :?
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    Arcticangel wrote:
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:

    my news---the paperwork was sent in on Thursday, so things are finally happening! I moved into a new apartment...and i'm HAPPY! I hope the rest of you can be happy soon too

    Glad to hear it girl. :) Hope I see you soon so we can celebrate your exciting new start!!

    Agreed. I'm glad it's moving forward for you....Seems to be standing uncomfortably still here. :?

    oh man...I'm sorry :-( how long have you been at a standstill, Miggy??

    I'm really hoping that things progress quickly with my paperwork, but who knows. I'd like to think that, because of how un-complicated mine is, that it will be easy---so now i just have to wait.
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:

    oh man...I'm sorry :-( how long have you been at a standstill, Miggy??

    I'm really hoping that things progress quickly with my paperwork, but who knows. I'd like to think that, because of how un-complicated mine is, that it will be easy---so now i just have to wait.
    My situation is just messed up. I know that having an uncomplicated situation is much easier and I'm so glad that you appreciate it!

    Enjoy life!! This tour will be beautiful!! :D
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • PearlOfAGirl
    PearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    Let's see, he's already closed a bank account, in which I've been the primary person on it since 1989, and now, he has had my cell phone shut off, and changed his number....

    I'm in for a battle... I just want it over with dammit!!! :evil:

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:

    Enjoy life!! This tour will be beautiful!! :D

    it sure will be!

    so this weekend was interesting for me...i was in a wedding on Saturday, and people kept asking me if I was going to be OK with it. There was one part of the vows that made me a little sad, but other than that, I felt great...had an awesome time, actually. Then, last night the bride and I were talking about something--and it triggered a very sweet memory of my own wedding...I ended up having a really good cry. It was the first time I realized that that part of my life is over and that I've really started moving on. I realized that I get to make all new memories with someone else, and I felt really hopeful that the next time, it will be good and right.

    So, it was a bittersweet evening--I think I needed it, really.
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,715
    T minus 10 days and counting. Sign one more fucking piece of paper , Judge adds his and we done. finito. kaput.
    One thing threw me though. Kinda stung a little. "Decree of Dissolution " contains the word terminated. Stung alot actually.Please let this hurt go away!!!
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    mickeyrat wrote:
    T minus 10 days and counting. Sign one more fucking piece of paper , Judge adds his and we done. finito. kaput.
    One thing threw me though. Kinda stung a little. "Decree of Dissolution " contains the word terminated. Stung alot actually.Please let this hurt go away!!!


    yeah...the wording is very cut and dry....like when I told the lawyer that we were married for 6.5 years, and he says "oh, a short-term marriage?" ouch.


    how long was the whole paperwork process for you?
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,715
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    T minus 10 days and counting. Sign one more fucking piece of paper , Judge adds his and we done. finito. kaput.
    One thing threw me though. Kinda stung a little. "Decree of Dissolution " contains the word terminated. Stung alot actually.Please let this hurt go away!!!


    yeah...the wording is very cut and dry....like when I told the lawyer that we were married for 6.5 years, and he says "oh, a short-term marriage?" ouch.


    how long was the whole paperwork process for you?
    In what sense? Week or so from first draft to final approval and the filing. Short term at six and a half? Ouch is right. He /She might have fell to the floor laughing at one day shy of 19 months at end of hearing next week.

    She is a law student and drew up the first draft herself from some examples she researched. My attorney said she did an awesome job , however real world filings required some jurisdictional language and some other things of that nature. He just polished what she came up with really.
    All told from start to finish when she told me how she felt to the actual decision by her that this is the only way to aug 11 hearing for judges sig. 2 to 2 1/2 months.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    wow...that seems so fast! I'm guessing ours will be fast too....yeah, the "short-term" comment stung a little!
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,715
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:
    wow...that seems so fast! I'm guessing ours will be fast too....yeah, the "short-term" comment stung a little!
    Once the dissolution is filed , at least here in Ohio , 30-60 days for a hearing date.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • FearTheBeard
    FearTheBeard Posts: 666
    So, I am slowly joining the ranks of this exclusive group. My wife and I have been entangled in some troubles lately. She is very mad and frustrated with me. She moved in with her parents about a week ago. We were trying counseling, but she has given up on that. It does not look like I have many more options other than separation. Luckily, I have spoken to pearljgirl2010 through PM and she has made some of this stuff seem clearer to me. I wish the best for all of you. If anyone else needs to talk, feel free to PM me.
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    ucsbflipflop wrote:
    So, I am slowly joining the ranks of this exclusive group. My wife and I have been entangled in some troubles lately. She is very mad and frustrated with me. She moved in with her parents about a week ago. We were trying counseling, but she has given up on that. It does not look like I have many more options other than separation. Luckily, I have spoken to pearljgirl2010 through PM and she has made some of this stuff seem clearer to me. I wish the best for all of you. If anyone else needs to talk, feel free to PM me.


    I'm sure we'd all prefer that you WEREN'T joining this little group...but, there are worse positions you could be in, and separation is probably a good idea. Don't give up on counseling just because she has...I'd recommend you continuing to go anyway...
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • FearTheBeard
    FearTheBeard Posts: 666
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:
    ucsbflipflop wrote:
    So, I am slowly joining the ranks of this exclusive group. My wife and I have been entangled in some troubles lately. She is very mad and frustrated with me. She moved in with her parents about a week ago. We were trying counseling, but she has given up on that. It does not look like I have many more options other than separation. Luckily, I have spoken to pearljgirl2010 through PM and she has made some of this stuff seem clearer to me. I wish the best for all of you. If anyone else needs to talk, feel free to PM me.


    I'm sure we'd all prefer that you WEREN'T joining this little group...but, there are worse positions you could be in, and separation is probably a good idea. Don't give up on counseling just because she has...I'd recommend you continuing to go anyway...

    Oh, I will continue to go to counseling! It has helped me in the past with relationships so I expect it to do the same this time.

Categories