Separating/Divorcing-Anyone in the process?

justam

the wolf wrote:

justam wrote:

pearljgirl2010 wrote:

Sept 1....divorce was "successfully filed." Ironically, the 6 month waiting period in CA puts us at the same week as our anniversary in March--guess it really will go full circle

I think it's interesting when dates line up like that. :geek:

yeah, i was told she wanted a divorce while sitting on a beach on my BIRTHDAY !!! lol. so now every august 7th i think of that instead of it being my b-day. good times.


but hey, it all worked out. I'm glad we are not together anymore.

Ouch.
On your birthday?

pearljgirl2010

the wolf wrote:

but hey, it all worked out. I'm glad we are not together anymore.

as long as things worked out, that's the most important thing :-)

PearlOfAGirl

I'll be separated for 3 months this Sunday.... still waiting for an attorney to take my case pro-bono... :roll:

It's getting to a very frustrating point, I just want to begin my new life...

the wolf

justam wrote:

Ouch.
On your birthday?

lol yep, on my birthday. worst part was we were in Hilton Head for my birthday, to try and work things out. we had been seperated for about 2 months. but the worst was we were still there for a few days after she dropped the bomb on me. lol i wanted to leave but she didnt. so i had to stay there and try to have fun. lol. its actually kinda funny looking back on it now.

bitch. j/k of course. her and i are still friends .. sorta.

pearljgirl2010

I got served today...sending the paperwork back to the lawyer tomorrow...one step closer, I suppose...

Heatherj43

I married once and divorced once. Its been 28 years since I divorced. I learned to never marry again. I have had several very long term relationships, but knew to not marry. Obviously I was right cuz they are gone and I am now in one that has been 9 years long.
I learned to always stay at MY home and they live with me. That way they leave when its over and I will not be looking for a place to live. I learned to never depend financially on any of them, but did charge rent. It has worked out great. The men have had to find a place, but they knew what they were getting into from the start.
I feel people grow, and should grow, but its rare that two people will grow in the same direction unless one is stifling the other. Therefore it is rare for two people to stay married, or at least HAPPILY married.
Now, I take it one day at a time. No lifetime commitment. I am happy with my relationship TODAY. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I know we have to work on our relationship. It doesn't just come easy, but with work, it can be happy for today.
I also know I can be happy alone. It can be scary, lonely, and a bunch of emotions, but its possible. If we are used to being in a relationship, it is hard to not be in one. Often we stay in one just because of the fear of being alone.
Being alone can be the best present we give ourselves. Good friends, hobbies, work, and love can keep us fulfilled.
My ex and I always remained friends. We have 2 children and many grandkids. I knew to never be sexual with him again though, cuz he would get false hope and we would not be able to be friends. I left him. It took him about 2 years to accept things and be friends. Others always think our friendship is odd. I think not being friends is odd. It makes things so easy for our kids and external family by being friends. They don't worry about who can be invited to what and stuff like that. Sometimes my ex and his gf and me and my date sit together at family events. My kids don't worry about their weddinds, kids birthdays, etc. We all get invited and are happy.
Good luck. Give the both of you 2 years to be civil. Give yourself 6 months to learn about yourself and be ready to get serious again. Until then date and enjoy, but don't look for a lomg term partner. Your choices would likely be based on baggage from your last relationship.

PearlOfAGirl

After this divorce in final; there are NO plans to EVER marry again...

pearljgirl2010

I would definitely like to get married again...I think with what I've learned from my first marriage, I can be a better person and wife to my next husband (the lucky man who gets me :-) ) I'm smarter, stronger and will be ready for a positive and solid marriage to a man that's going to appreciate me and love me for the woman I've grown into.

PearlOfAGirl

I just can't imagine that there would be anyone else in this world that I could really fall in love with...

pearljgirl2010

HeartShapedBox wrote:

I just can't imagine that there would be anyone else in this world that I could really fall in love with...

I think eventually you will...and it'll probably when you least expect it

PearlOfAGirl

Just when I thought; the holiday's couldn't get much worse... :roll:
I'm hoping to live closer to family and friends by then...

nuffingman

Heatherj43 wrote:

I feel people grow, and should grow, but its rare that two people will grow in the same direction unless one is stifling the other. Therefore it is rare for two people to stay married, or at least HAPPILY married.
Now, I take it one day at a time. No lifetime commitment. I am happy with my relationship TODAY. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I know we have to work on our relationship. It doesn't just come easy, but with work, it can be happy for today.

....and that is why I tell my daughters to never even think of getting married before they are 30.
I'm now married for the 3rd time but this time we married when we had reached an age where we both have developed our personalities and accept each others faults.

She is gorgeous, I love her to bits and we get on like a house on fire. After 10 years together we still go out holding hands.

pearljgirl2010

nuffingman wrote:

....and that is why I tell my daughters to never even think of getting married before they are 30.
I'm now married for the 3rd time but this time we married when we had reached an age where we both have developed our personalities and accept each others faults.

how old are your daughters? I think a lot of people who get married under 30 have "successful" marriages...I just wasn't one of them!

nuffingman

pearljgirl2010 wrote:

nuffingman wrote:

....and that is why I tell my daughters to never even think of getting married before they are 30.
I'm now married for the 3rd time but this time we married when we had reached an age where we both have developed our personalities and accept each others faults.

how old are your daughters? I think a lot of people who get married under 30 have "successful" marriages...I just wasn't one of them!

18, 21 and 23. I think they are all anti marriage. All their friends have divorced parents apart from just a few. Only one of my friends has a marriage that has lasted. It's all rather depressing really.... unless you're a lawyer.

PearlOfAGirl

Four months ago today I moved out... I really miss my dogs...

Steve Dunne

pearljgirl2010 wrote:

I would definitely like to get married again...I think with what I've learned from my first marriage, I can be a better person and wife to my next husband (the lucky man who gets me :-) ) I'm smarter, stronger and will be ready for a positive and solid marriage to a man that's going to appreciate me and love me for the woman I've grown into.

i'm not even involved in this thread and i think this is one of the best posts i've ever read. good for you!!!

xavier mcdaniel

Steve Dunne wrote:

pearljgirl2010 wrote:

I would definitely like to get married again...I think with what I've learned from my first marriage, I can be a better person and wife to my next husband (the lucky man who gets me :-) ) I'm smarter, stronger and will be ready for a positive and solid marriage to a man that's going to appreciate me and love me for the woman I've grown into.

i'm not even involved in this thread and i think this is one of the best posts i've ever read. good for you!!!

If the message pit button had an I like button like on facebook, i'd select it. Well-written and formulated post.

81

i wonder what would happen if we merged this thread with the looking for a PJ fan to date thread :?:

PearlOfAGirl

81 wrote:

i wonder what would happen if we merged this thread with the looking for a PJ fan to date thread :?:

I think it may have in some cases...

PearlOfAGirl

pearljgirl2010 wrote:

HeartShapedBox wrote:

I just can't imagine that there would be anyone else in this world that I could really fall in love with...

I think eventually you will...and it'll probably when you least expect it

You are such a special, and up beat person... I'm so glad that you started this thread... it's really helped me put things into perspective...

I would love to fall in love again, but it's too soon to think about marriage at this point, my husband is giving me such a hard time getting a divorce, and I've tried every resource out there... I cannot afford a lawyer, and I'm still waiting for the Lawyer Referral Service to get back to me, and yes I've called many times.

The right man would have to be someone that I can trust, love, and would make me feel safe, oh and definitely a great sense of humor...


I just want to that you for the encouraging words, they mean a lot to me...