I have my boy on the weekends AND one or two nights per week. (the $ support isn't even what I'm gonna bitch about even though I have him 40-50% of the time and get zero credit!) Anyway.. the ex is making me drive both ways to get and him and to drop him off even though the court says she should drive 1/2 the time. She claims she doesn't have enough $$ even though I'm sending her $1,200 per fucking month and she doesn't have rent cause she is living with friends.
Should I make a big issue of this? It is a 30 mile drive, 60 miles round trip... and I'm doing that in addition to my work commute 2 or 3 times a week. Ridiculous.
The other thing is she is going to move in with another dude soon. If thats the case should I appeal the spousal support because he makes good money... I should be paying her ZERO for spousal support, right? I will definitely pay the current amount of child support but it pisses me off that she is getting money from me to support her clothes buying and pot buying habits. The latter is another issue in and of itself...
Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
I have my boy on the weekends AND one or two nights per week. (the $ support isn't even what I'm gonna bitch about even though I have him 40-50% of the time and get zero credit!) Anyway.. the ex is making me drive both ways to get and him and to drop him off even though the court says she should drive 1/2 the time. She claims she doesn't have enough $$ even though I'm sending her $1,200 per fucking month and she doesn't have rent cause she is living with friends.
Should I make a big issue of this? It is a 30 mile drive, 60 miles round trip... and I'm doing that in addition to my work commute 2 or 3 times a week. Ridiculous.
The other thing is she is going to move in with another dude soon. If thats the case should I appeal the spousal support because he makes good money... I should be paying her ZERO for spousal support, right? I will definitely pay the current amount of child support but it pisses me off that she is getting money from me to support her clothes buying and pot buying habits. The latter is another issue in and of itself...
Document everything. And you have a lawyer right?
Unless she marries him you are still on the hook for the spousal support. Not saying you are , but whatever you do , dont put your child in the middle.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Document everything. And you have a lawyer right?
Unless she marries him you are still on the hook for the spousal support. Not saying you are , but whatever you do , dont put your child in the middle.
Yeah I need to do a better job of documenting this stuff... especially the days I have him.
IN PA you have to have your kid 40% of the time or more to get credit for child support... I think I have him at least 40% of the time but I'm paying her the full amount. Another reason for proper documentation...
Are you sure I'm still on the hook for spousal support if she moves in with a guy and he supports her? She isn't working... no day care or anything like that. Hmm well if that is the case I hope that cartoon looking douche marries her fast!
Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
Document everything. And you have a lawyer right?
Unless she marries him you are still on the hook for the spousal support. Not saying you are , but whatever you do , dont put your child in the middle.
Yeah I need to do a better job of documenting this stuff... especially the days I have him.
IN PA you have to have your kid 40% of the time or more to get credit for child support... I think I have him at least 40% of the time but I'm paying her the full amount. Another reason for proper documentation...
Are you sure I'm still on the hook for spousal support if she moves in with a guy and he supports her? She isn't working... no day care or anything like that. Hmm well if that is the case I hope that cartoon looking douche marries her fast!
I'm sure things vary from state to state , but that has been the general rule everywhere.Certainly something to look into.Consult with legal counsel , or barring that , there are usually legal clinics you could hit up to get some direction.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
my wife is engaged to another man... her papamour. We've been separated for six months. They've been engaged for 4. We live in Lancaster PA and used to live in Phoenix... same for him. hmmm coincidence?
Now she is delaying the divorce so I will have to continue to pay alimony. She'll probably sign the papers the day before her next marriage.
I'm not angry I just think its fucking insane. I mean... seriously... you couldn't make this shit up.
4 p.m., WTTE-TV (Channel 28): The Steve Wilkos Show -- a woman who is married to one man and engaged to another (N)
Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
I haven't been around here for ages as has limited internet access in rural Canada.Now back in the land of internet connectivity.
Together 3 years back and forth between Scotland and Canada but now separating ... it is tearing me apart ... We were getting married this summer then returning to Canada to live.
I came home to put my house up for sale,give up my job,arrange the wedding etc and a few weeks after my house went on the market he told me he couldn't commit and ended the relationship.I haven't heard from him since.
I can't make sense of it all ... I have spent weeks feeling like I have a 300lb man sitting on my chest crushing it.At times I feel I can hardly breath and spend days crying.
The worst is the silence from him ... there is a saying "Spitefull words hurt but silence kills" ... so so true.
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
I haven't been around here for ages as has limited internet access in rural Canada.Now back in the land of internet connectivity.
Together 3 years back and forth between Scotland and Canada but now separating ... it is tearing me apart ... We were getting married this summer then returning to Canada to live.
I came home to put my house up for sale,give up my job,arrange the wedding etc and a few weeks after my house went on the market he told me he couldn't commit and ended the relationship.I haven't heard from him since.
I can't make sense of it all ... I have spent weeks feeling like I have a 300lb man sitting on my chest crushing it.At times I feel I can hardly breath and spend days crying.
The worst is the silence from him ... there is a saying "Spitefull words hurt but silence kills" ... so so true.
ah, Stargirl...I'm sorry. I don't know what I can say to help you, except that you will be ok eventually...hang in there and know that there are lots of us that are here for you if you need to talk/vent/whatever.
I haven't been around here for ages as has limited internet access in rural Canada.Now back in the land of internet connectivity.
Together 3 years back and forth between Scotland and Canada but now separating ... it is tearing me apart ... We were getting married this summer then returning to Canada to live.
I came home to put my house up for sale,give up my job,arrange the wedding etc and a few weeks after my house went on the market he told me he couldn't commit and ended the relationship.I haven't heard from him since.
I can't make sense of it all ... I have spent weeks feeling like I have a 300lb man sitting on my chest crushing it.At times I feel I can hardly breath and spend days crying.
The worst is the silence from him ... there is a saying "Spitefull words hurt but silence kills" ... so so true.
ah, Stargirl...I'm sorry. I don't know what I can say to help you, except that you will be ok eventually...hang in there and know that there are lots of us that are here for you if you need to talk/vent/whatever.
Thank you so much ... reading yours and others stories shows the strength of the human spirit to survive ... I know I will get over it even when there are days I can't get out of bed ... but those days of being over it seem very far away ... I get annoyed at myself as I know if I was to hear from him I would be back on a plane to him.I just feel so stuck.
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
ah, Stargirl...I'm sorry. I don't know what I can say to help you, except that you will be ok eventually...hang in there and know that there are lots of us that are here for you if you need to talk/vent/whatever.
Thank you so much ... reading yours and others stories shows the strength of the human spirit to survive ... I know I will get over it even when there are days I can't get out of bed ... but those days of being over it seem very far away ... I get annoyed at myself as I know if I was to hear from him I would be back on a plane to him.I just feel so stuck.
Try not to get annoyed at yourself...you can't help how you feel and that's ok! when you find yourself wanting to call/email him, send a message to a friend or call someone else instead...when you're thinking about him, think of a good memory and laugh--be glad that you have good things to remember, and know that you'll find someone to make new memories with, when the time is right for you :-)
Try not to get annoyed at yourself...you can't help how you feel and that's ok! when you find yourself wanting to call/email him, send a message to a friend or call someone else instead...when you're thinking about him, think of a good memory and laugh--be glad that you have good things to remember, and know that you'll find someone to make new memories with, when the time is right for you :-)
That is excellent advice
So sorry about what is happening to you, stargirl. Many of us have been there...
... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
Try not to get annoyed at yourself...you can't help how you feel and that's ok! when you find yourself wanting to call/email him, send a message to a friend or call someone else instead...when you're thinking about him, think of a good memory and laugh--be glad that you have good things to remember, and know that you'll find someone to make new memories with, when the time is right for you :-)
That is excellent advice
So sorry about what is happening to you, stargirl. Many of us have been there...
It is excellent advice ... I didn't think of that ... I spent the first week emailing him every few days but stopped as I was getting no replies ... I still get these overwhelming urges to email him but have managed to resist through tears but I will definately take pearljgirl2010 advice and email or call someone else ... thank you so much xxooxx
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
Try not to get annoyed at yourself...you can't help how you feel and that's ok! when you find yourself wanting to call/email him, send a message to a friend or call someone else instead...when you're thinking about him, think of a good memory and laugh--be glad that you have good things to remember, and know that you'll find someone to make new memories with, when the time is right for you :-)
That is excellent advice
So sorry about what is happening to you, stargirl. Many of us have been there...
It is excellent advice ... I didn't think of that ... I spent the first week emailing him every few days but stopped as I was getting no replies ... I still get these overwhelming urges to email him but have managed to resist through tears but I will definately take pearljgirl2010 advice and email or call someone else ... thank you so much xxooxx
I think the process of letting go of someone you can't be with is like overcoming an addiction. Every day is its own battle. Indulging thoughts of them is like driving by the liquor store. And yes, you feel like if they wanted you back (if you have the bottle/drug in your hands) you'd do it against your best judgment. And just like overcoming addiction, getting over impossible love is a process of going back to loving yourself and building back your self-esteem.
Much love and good luck
... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
Comments
don't know her, but I'll second that bump. we all need a little help
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
glad to hear it, my dear!
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
I have my boy on the weekends AND one or two nights per week. (the $ support isn't even what I'm gonna bitch about even though I have him 40-50% of the time and get zero credit!) Anyway.. the ex is making me drive both ways to get and him and to drop him off even though the court says she should drive 1/2 the time. She claims she doesn't have enough $$ even though I'm sending her $1,200 per fucking month and she doesn't have rent cause she is living with friends.
Should I make a big issue of this? It is a 30 mile drive, 60 miles round trip... and I'm doing that in addition to my work commute 2 or 3 times a week. Ridiculous.
The other thing is she is going to move in with another dude soon. If thats the case should I appeal the spousal support because he makes good money... I should be paying her ZERO for spousal support, right? I will definitely pay the current amount of child support but it pisses me off that she is getting money from me to support her clothes buying and pot buying habits. The latter is another issue in and of itself...
Unless she marries him you are still on the hook for the spousal support. Not saying you are , but whatever you do , dont put your child in the middle.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Yeah I need to do a better job of documenting this stuff... especially the days I have him.
IN PA you have to have your kid 40% of the time or more to get credit for child support... I think I have him at least 40% of the time but I'm paying her the full amount. Another reason for proper documentation...
Are you sure I'm still on the hook for spousal support if she moves in with a guy and he supports her? She isn't working... no day care or anything like that. Hmm well if that is the case I hope that cartoon looking douche marries her fast!
lots of guys do... apparently.
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
best. post. ever.
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
+1
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
wow...I'm glad things are in motion now :-)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
Ed got it right with this one
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was a fast process for you....congratulations :-)
Cheers to new beginnings!
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
To new beginnings! :thumbup:
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
Yay for you!!!!!!!!
Now she is delaying the divorce so I will have to continue to pay alimony. She'll probably sign the papers the day before her next marriage.
I'm not angry I just think its fucking insane. I mean... seriously... you couldn't make this shit up.
4 p.m., WTTE-TV (Channel 28): The Steve Wilkos Show -- a woman who is married to one man and engaged to another (N)
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
Together 3 years back and forth between Scotland and Canada but now separating ... it is tearing me apart ... We were getting married this summer then returning to Canada to live.
I came home to put my house up for sale,give up my job,arrange the wedding etc and a few weeks after my house went on the market he told me he couldn't commit and ended the relationship.I haven't heard from him since.
I can't make sense of it all ... I have spent weeks feeling like I have a 300lb man sitting on my chest crushing it.At times I feel I can hardly breath and spend days crying.
The worst is the silence from him ... there is a saying "Spitefull words hurt but silence kills" ... so so true.
ah, Stargirl...I'm sorry. I don't know what I can say to help you, except that you will be ok eventually...hang in there and know that there are lots of us that are here for you if you need to talk/vent/whatever.
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
Thank you so much ... reading yours and others stories shows the strength of the human spirit to survive ... I know I will get over it even when there are days I can't get out of bed ... but those days of being over it seem very far away ... I get annoyed at myself as I know if I was to hear from him I would be back on a plane to him.I just feel so stuck.
Try not to get annoyed at yourself...you can't help how you feel and that's ok! when you find yourself wanting to call/email him, send a message to a friend or call someone else instead...when you're thinking about him, think of a good memory and laugh--be glad that you have good things to remember, and know that you'll find someone to make new memories with, when the time is right for you :-)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
That is excellent advice
So sorry about what is happening to you, stargirl. Many of us have been there...
It is excellent advice ... I didn't think of that ... I spent the first week emailing him every few days but stopped as I was getting no replies ... I still get these overwhelming urges to email him but have managed to resist through tears but I will definately take pearljgirl2010 advice and email or call someone else ... thank you so much xxooxx
I think the process of letting go of someone you can't be with is like overcoming an addiction. Every day is its own battle. Indulging thoughts of them is like driving by the liquor store. And yes, you feel like if they wanted you back (if you have the bottle/drug in your hands) you'd do it against your best judgment. And just like overcoming addiction, getting over impossible love is a process of going back to loving yourself and building back your self-esteem.
Much love and good luck