I am so very very sorry that anyone has to go through this. Don't be surprised if you find yourself moving through the same stages of grieving that one experiences when a loved one dies. Don't fear these feelings. Healing is a process that is often lengthy.
Get yourself and your kids in touch with a counselor you trust. Don't be stupid and prideful like I was, getting help and support is a sign of strength - not weakness.
Above all else, remember the foolish choices your ex has made are not a reflection of you.
Best of luck. And warm strong loving wishes to both you and your children.
I am so very very sorry that anyone has to go through this. Don't be surprised if you find yourself moving through the same stages of grieving that one experiences when a loved one dies. Don't fear these feelings. Healing is a process that is often lengthy.
Get yourself and your kids in touch with a counselor you trust. Don't be stupid and prideful like I was, getting help and support is a sign of strength - not weakness.
Above all else, remember the foolish choices your ex has made are not a reflection of you.
Best of luck. And warm strong loving wishes to both you and your children.
excellent, excellent post....ALL of it!
some excellent advice to be heeded.
So sorry to hear this! My live-in girlfriend of 9.5 years cheated on me just over a year ago. She fessed up as opposed to me catching her, however it hurt just the same. I was (and still am) 3000+miles away from every family member. I felt lost and betrayed. To make matters worse, she didn't have a penny to her name so I allowed her to stay at my place in my bed (as we only had a studio apartment in NYC) for 3 months while she saved up to move out. It was a nightmare only made better by me doing all that I could to avoid contact with her. It took a few months to feel better about the situation and now I'm even able to joke about it. However, trust issues (which were never a problem for me) have become an issue. The best advice I can give is to just know that it will get better, the hurt will subside, stay strong and just be thankful to have wonderful kids! Peace to you.
"The leads are weak!"
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
I just read through all of these pages of posts....isn't it great that you have so many people who care about you?? I've never met you, but if I could do anything to help you out--like most people on this board!
you are doing an amazing job with your life...you're beautiful, fun, have great taste in music (!) and have raised 2 children--you rock!! It seems like you have a lot of positive people and things in your life and you're so lucky.
as difficult as things get sometimes, i think things happen for a reason--in your case, there is someone out there who is going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated...and you will be better off in the long run ,maybe not next month, maybe not in 6 months...but you will.
First off, I am so sorry you are going through this painful and deceitful experience. I have so many friends right now going through divorces for the same reason. I was also in a similar situation myself 5+ years ago. I promise you, you will get through this.
You need to go through all of the emotions as someone mentioned earlier - close to that of dealing with a death. Counseling helps - for both you and the 6 year old. Your kids are young enough that they will survive this. My son was 4 when we split up and he has no memory of his dad really ever living with us. The 6 year old will feel more of a loss, but hopefully their dad will still be a part of their lives and the 2 of you can be civil with one another. If you both put your kids happiness first, they will fare well. We still do certain things together as a family and it is great for my son. Today we went to the museum together. Many of his teachers have remarked to me that they would NEVER know he was the product of a divorce. If you both respect one another and can be friendly, the kids will flourish from it. It may be very hard right now, but in 6 months or so hopefully you can mend some wounds.
As hard as it sounds, do NOT blame yourself. Do NOT feel like a fool. He is the fool that broke his family in two, and trust me, one day he will regret it. People are only responsible for their own actions. If you say he was a liar, he obviously is and always was - no reflection of you. He is obviously acting selfishly, and selfish people live very lonely lives. You will always have your 2 beautiful children. He lost all around. Hopefully you can move back home after the dust settles - maybe in June when your child is out of school. Do what is best for YOU and the kids. A happy mom is a better mom. please put yourself 1st - the kids will benefit from that in the long run. You should not suffer because of his poor decision making.
Hang in there! Be there for your kids, enjoy every minute with them as best as possible. Don't tell them too much, they are too young to understand adult relationships. Being a single mom is very rewarding in many ways - do not let the term frighten you. I am sure you will eventually find someone more honest and deserving - you have never given yourself that chance. Now is your time, for both you and the kids. You all deserve better
I never get too personnel online but just so you know Cinnamon, unfortunately this is too common. My parents split up when I was still a baby in a nearly identical way. My mom raised my sister and I by herself and did a great job. I'm sure you will too, and I'm sure you'll find the RIGHT guy for you some day in the future.
I would say one positive thing to come out of it is you'll get two very strong little kids out of this as this will definitely be a hardship they'll learn to overcome over time. Just be the best mom you can, try to keep your cool in front of them even if its really hard. Find a good friend or message board to vent to. Never vent to your kids! Probably my moms only failing was that. Kids aren't able to process that stuff.
My father isn't a bad guy either but even at 30 men can act like 15 year olds.
I waited a very long time to get married and have kids, partly because I never wanted to go through what my parents did and I don't take my wife and children for granted because of what happened to my parents.
I'm kind of getting off track, but I guess what I'm saying is you seem to be a sweet person and no one deserves something like this to happen to them.
If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me.
New screenname for the new site. At least for now. Previously Lackofdave
Blogging at <a href="http://www.dadtherapy.com">Dad Therapy</a>
Thanks....but I have never, in my life, felt less hot....and "single mother" isn't the sexiest tag. :oops:
I know that I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. I just hope I can shake this feeling soon.
Being raise by a single mother myself I can tell you the only things she cared about were her 3 kids, we were everything to her. After my dad and step-dad, she pretty much lost faith in all men. LOL
Like everybody said, it's cliche but it's true...just strong for your kids and by the time they're my age they will look at you as the greatest mom in the world!
Stay strong and good luck!
may i change the subject?
longroad, get rid of that cheesy, seventies, you know what star looking moustache
ugh
can't you find a better pic of jason lee?
First of all, this thread ain't the right place or time to show your affection for me, Catsie. Very unnecessary!
Secondly, like Jason, I too have a 70's stash. So the avatar is stayin'!(for awhile)
My parents split when I was quite young (almost 4 years old) and my older brother was nearing 6. Everything turned out alright for my brother and I because my parents put us before themselves. We don't have any memories of fights or hostility. I hope your soon-to-be-ex will be co-operative with you regarding the children.
I am so grateful for all the support...you guys kick ASS!!
Thanks. :oops:
Is there a secret message in there? Ya want us to? Cos I will!
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
longrd said,
"First of all, this thread ain't the right place or time to show your affection for me, Catsie. Very unnecessary!
Secondly, like Jason, I too have a 70's stash. So the avatar is stayin'!(for awhile)"
we need to make her laugh during this difficult time...
(p.s. excuse me if the quotes are messed up, I got a nastygram I may only embed 3 quotes within each other)
but we need to make her laugh
:ugeek:
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
longrd said,
"First of all, this thread ain't the right place or time to show your affection for me, Catsie. Very unnecessary!
Secondly, like Jason, I too have a 70's stash. So the avatar is stayin'!(for awhile)"
we need to make her laugh during this difficult time...
(p.s. excuse me if the quotes are messed up, I got a nastygram I may only embed 3 quotes within each other)
but we need to make her laugh
:ugeek:
Ok, you hold her down and I'll go fetch the Dara O'Briain dvd
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
longrd said,
"First of all, this thread ain't the right place or time to show your affection for me, Catsie. Very unnecessary!
Secondly, like Jason, I too have a 70's stash. So the avatar is stayin'!(for awhile)"
we need to make her laugh during this difficult time...
(p.s. excuse me if the quotes are messed up, I got a nastygram I may only embed 3 quotes within each other)
but we need to make her laugh
:ugeek:
Ok, you hold her down and I'll go fetch the Dara O'Briain dvd
When I met my wife she was coming from a relationship where they guy cheated on her..we had our rough patches of course in the beginning..Trust was huge and she still was getting over the hurt
It took time like anything..but you know what...she is so much more stronger because of what happened to her..and you'll be stronger as well..even though you feel like crap now
You're young and will find a guy who will love you no matter what past you have
My parents divorced when I was 11 years old and look how "normal" I am (don't answer that) :shock:
Good luck with everything...stay strong for your kids..you will get through this
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
longrd said,
"First of all, this thread ain't the right place or time to show your affection for me, Catsie. Very unnecessary!
Secondly, like Jason, I too have a 70's stash. So the avatar is stayin'!(for awhile)"
we need to make her laugh during this difficult time...
(p.s. excuse me if the quotes are messed up, I got a nastygram I may only embed 3 quotes within each other)
but we need to make her laugh
:ugeek:
Ok, you hold her down and I'll go fetch the Dara O'Briain dvd
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I've been talking to Cinnamon Gilr on facebook and she asked me to tell you that she's been doing alright and thanks you for your support. She's been perma banned for some reason, and I guess since its the weekend won't find out why until monday. Just wanted to pass that along.
*it a shame though cause this is a time for her that I'm sure she could really use the community's support (like they have offered so far)
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
I've been talking to Cinnamon Gilr on facebook and she asked me to tell you that she's been doing alright and thanks you for your support. She's been perma banned for some reason, and I guess since its the weekend won't find out why until monday. Just wanted to pass that along.
*it a shame though cause this is a time for her that I'm sure she could really use the community's support (like they have offered so far)
I've been talking to Cinnamon Gilr on facebook and she asked me to tell you that she's been doing alright and thanks you for your support. She's been perma banned for some reason, and I guess since its the weekend won't find out why until monday. Just wanted to pass that along.
*it a shame though cause this is a time for her that I'm sure she could really use the community's support (like they have offered so far)
I've been talking to Cinnamon Gilr on facebook and she asked me to tell you that she's been doing alright and thanks you for your support. She's been perma banned for some reason, and I guess since its the weekend won't find out why until monday. Just wanted to pass that along.
*it a shame though cause this is a time for her that I'm sure she could really use the community's support (like they have offered so far)
WHATTTTTTTTT!!!! I've seen her around these parts for a while, she was always very sweet, and positive
Hope its a mix up and they let her come back, also I feel for the situatiuon she's in.....and if u read this, add 1 more to the list of supporters. I hope things get better for u, real fast
She doesn't know. She emailed them but has yet to hear back. We're hoping it's just a mistake.
Surely it must be, I've never seen her make any posts that would be deemed out of line with accordance to the rules set out by mods. She's always positive with her posts.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I've been talking to Cinnamon Gilr on facebook and she asked me to tell you that she's been doing alright and thanks you for your support. She's been perma banned for some reason, and I guess since its the weekend won't find out why until monday. Just wanted to pass that along.
*it a shame though cause this is a time for her that I'm sure she could really use the community's support (like they have offered so far)
WTF.
WTF x 100 000 000 :shock: I hope that things get sorted real quick.
Were thinking of you CinGirl. Keep your chin up.
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
After seeing she was banned, I went back and read through about 10 pages of her posts and nothing jumped out at me as being against board rules. Of course I could have missed something or not been privy to PM's or whatever. But to be honest, none of her posts exhibited a nasty or really even a snarky tone.
Hopefully, this is all a mistake and things will be fixed on Monday. I don't know anything about Cinnamon Girl except for the fact she is going through a traumatic life altering event and had the courage to reach out to the PJ community.
If anyone is in touch with her via facebook, myspace, IM etc. please let her know that when she gets back, we are here for her.
Kat and Sea, know you guys are busy but considering the events Cinnamon Girl is experiencing in her life, is there a way you could expedite reading her email and looking into the situation. Just in case a mistake was made. Thanks!
After seeing she was banned, I went back and read through about 10 pages of her posts and nothing jumped out at me as being against board rules. Of course I could have missed something
if she did post something ban worthy, i'm sure it would no longer be here anyway, it would have been deleted. not saying she did do anything but i'm just saying if she did you won't find it.
Comments
Get yourself and your kids in touch with a counselor you trust. Don't be stupid and prideful like I was, getting help and support is a sign of strength - not weakness.
Above all else, remember the foolish choices your ex has made are not a reflection of you.
Best of luck. And warm strong loving wishes to both you and your children.
Thanks. :oops:
excellent, excellent post....ALL of it!
some excellent advice to be heeded.
*hugs cinngirl*
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
"What's your name?"
"FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
you are doing an amazing job with your life...you're beautiful, fun, have great taste in music (!) and have raised 2 children--you rock!! It seems like you have a lot of positive people and things in your life and you're so lucky.
as difficult as things get sometimes, i think things happen for a reason--in your case, there is someone out there who is going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated...and you will be better off in the long run ,maybe not next month, maybe not in 6 months...but you will.
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
You need to go through all of the emotions as someone mentioned earlier - close to that of dealing with a death. Counseling helps - for both you and the 6 year old. Your kids are young enough that they will survive this. My son was 4 when we split up and he has no memory of his dad really ever living with us. The 6 year old will feel more of a loss, but hopefully their dad will still be a part of their lives and the 2 of you can be civil with one another. If you both put your kids happiness first, they will fare well. We still do certain things together as a family and it is great for my son. Today we went to the museum together. Many of his teachers have remarked to me that they would NEVER know he was the product of a divorce. If you both respect one another and can be friendly, the kids will flourish from it. It may be very hard right now, but in 6 months or so hopefully you can mend some wounds.
As hard as it sounds, do NOT blame yourself. Do NOT feel like a fool. He is the fool that broke his family in two, and trust me, one day he will regret it. People are only responsible for their own actions. If you say he was a liar, he obviously is and always was - no reflection of you. He is obviously acting selfishly, and selfish people live very lonely lives. You will always have your 2 beautiful children. He lost all around. Hopefully you can move back home after the dust settles - maybe in June when your child is out of school. Do what is best for YOU and the kids. A happy mom is a better mom. please put yourself 1st - the kids will benefit from that in the long run. You should not suffer because of his poor decision making.
Hang in there! Be there for your kids, enjoy every minute with them as best as possible. Don't tell them too much, they are too young to understand adult relationships. Being a single mom is very rewarding in many ways - do not let the term frighten you. I am sure you will eventually find someone more honest and deserving - you have never given yourself that chance. Now is your time, for both you and the kids. You all deserve better
I would say one positive thing to come out of it is you'll get two very strong little kids out of this as this will definitely be a hardship they'll learn to overcome over time. Just be the best mom you can, try to keep your cool in front of them even if its really hard. Find a good friend or message board to vent to. Never vent to your kids! Probably my moms only failing was that. Kids aren't able to process that stuff.
My father isn't a bad guy either but even at 30 men can act like 15 year olds.
I waited a very long time to get married and have kids, partly because I never wanted to go through what my parents did and I don't take my wife and children for granted because of what happened to my parents.
I'm kind of getting off track, but I guess what I'm saying is you seem to be a sweet person and no one deserves something like this to happen to them.
If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me.
Blogging at <a href="http://www.dadtherapy.com">Dad Therapy</a>
Secondly, like Jason, I too have a 70's stash. So the avatar is stayin'!(for awhile)
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
My parents split when I was quite young (almost 4 years old) and my older brother was nearing 6. Everything turned out alright for my brother and I because my parents put us before themselves. We don't have any memories of fights or hostility. I hope your soon-to-be-ex will be co-operative with you regarding the children.
Best of luck with everything. Take care.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
"First of all, this thread ain't the right place or time to show your affection for me, Catsie. Very unnecessary!
Secondly, like Jason, I too have a 70's stash. So the avatar is stayin'!(for awhile)"
we need to make her laugh during this difficult time...
(p.s. excuse me if the quotes are messed up, I got a nastygram I may only embed 3 quotes within each other)
but we need to make her laugh
:ugeek:
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
maybe cinnamon girl won't know who he is, I didn't
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dara_%C3%93_Briain
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Stay strong, like gas, this too shall pass.
"do gay midgets come out of the cupboard"
~CreedDisease~
10/27/06
When I met my wife she was coming from a relationship where they guy cheated on her..we had our rough patches of course in the beginning..Trust was huge and she still was getting over the hurt
It took time like anything..but you know what...she is so much more stronger because of what happened to her..and you'll be stronger as well..even though you feel like crap now
You're young and will find a guy who will love you no matter what past you have
My parents divorced when I was 11 years old and look how "normal" I am (don't answer that)
Good luck with everything...stay strong for your kids..you will get through this
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0thRUS1wUw
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
*it a shame though cause this is a time for her that I'm sure she could really use the community's support (like they have offered so far)
WTF.
That's fucked up. :? :? :?
WHATTTTTTTTT!!!! I've seen her around these parts for a while, she was always very sweet, and positive
Hope its a mix up and they let her come back, also I feel for the situatiuon she's in.....and if u read this, add 1 more to the list of supporters. I hope things get better for u, real fast
Be well
Why? :(
Surely it must be, I've never seen her make any posts that would be deemed out of line with accordance to the rules set out by mods. She's always positive with her posts.
WTF x 100 000 000 :shock: I hope that things get sorted real quick.
Were thinking of you CinGirl. Keep your chin up.
Hopefully, this is all a mistake and things will be fixed on Monday. I don't know anything about Cinnamon Girl except for the fact she is going through a traumatic life altering event and had the courage to reach out to the PJ community.
If anyone is in touch with her via facebook, myspace, IM etc. please let her know that when she gets back, we are here for her.
Kat and Sea, know you guys are busy but considering the events Cinnamon Girl is experiencing in her life, is there a way you could expedite reading her email and looking into the situation. Just in case a mistake was made. Thanks!
Hopefully, it's all just a mistake and she'll be unbanned.
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
Seriously, WTF?
The woman DID nothing wrong! :evil:
Silly, silly games some people play! :?
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
if she did post something ban worthy, i'm sure it would no longer be here anyway, it would have been deleted. not saying she did do anything but i'm just saying if she did you won't find it.