So...my husband had an affair.

Cinnamon Girl

I know that this is really personal, but I'm just so sad and lonely right now. We've been married for 7 years and have 2 kids. Our marriage is over...I have been with him since I was 13. He was my first boyfriend and the only man I've ever been with. I feel so lost.

We moved here 3 months ago because he got a job here. The girl he had an affair with is beautiful...and younger, of course. I moved away from my friends and family. I feel stuck.

I don't mean to sound so pathetic, and I'm really embarrassed about how it sounds, but I just need to get it out.

I guess I'm looking for people who have been through this before. Has anyone here survived this pain and feels like giving me some wise words.

thanks for listening.

CHANGEinWAVES

pm sent

igotid88

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

I know that this is really personal, but I'm just so sad and lonely right now. We've been married for 7 years and have 2 kids. Our marriage is over...I have been with him since I was 13. He was my first boyfriend and the only man I've ever been with. I feel so lost.

We moved here 3 months ago because he got a job here. The girl he had an affair with is beautiful...and younger, of course. I moved away from my friends and family. I feel stuck.

I don't mean to sound so pathetic, and I'm really embarrassed about how it sounds, but I just need to get it out.

I guess I'm looking for people who have been through this before. Has anyone here survived this pain and feels like giving me some wise words.

thanks for listening.

That sucks. Sorry

Nothingman54

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

I know that this is really personal, but I'm just so sad and lonely right now. We've been married for 7 years and have 2 kids. Our marriage is over...I have been with him since I was 13. He was my first boyfriend and the only man I've ever been with. I feel so lost.

We moved here 3 months ago because he got a job here. The girl he had an affair with is beautiful...and younger, of course. I moved away from my friends and family. I feel stuck.

I don't mean to sound so pathetic, and I'm really embarrassed about how it sounds, but I just need to get it out.

I guess I'm looking for people who have been through this before. Has anyone here survived this pain and feels like giving me some wise words.

thanks for listening.

Im so very sorry. That really sucks. Smile! This may be the best thing that ever happen. You are in this for a reason. A reason you may not see yet but hold your head up, you will get through it. Best wishes.

Fighting Hellfish

My advice would be to bury yourself in your kids. Spend as much time with them as you can. Not sure how old they are, and what they know, but they're probably hurting too, knowing that their family is splitting up,a nd not knowing why.

BlackThirteen

I'm sorry you're in such a hard situation. I might be just blowing hot air since I can not really relate to the situation. But I'll try to offer some general advice. If you're one to believe in fate then you could say that it was never meant to be. But try to look up it's probably really daunting but now might be the time to try to do something you've wanted to do but never could. Maybe move back to where your friends and family are as a start. On the bright side look at your children they're something good that came out of your marriage so don't feel like those 7 years were wasted. I truly do wish you the best.

Cinnamon Girl

Nothingman54 wrote:

Im so very sorry. That really sucks. Smile! This may be the best thing that ever happen. You are in this for a reason. A reason you may not see yet but hold your head up, you will get through it. Best wishes.

I figure it'll take a little while to realize that this is a good thing. And it is...it has to be.

Fighting Hellfish wrote:

My advice would be to bury yourself in your kids. Spend as much time with them as you can. Not sure how old they are, and what they know, but they're probably hurting too, knowing that their family is splitting up,a nd not knowing why.

That's what I'm trying to do. They are 6 and 3 years old. I haven't even tried to explain it to the 6 year old yet. My poor kids...they don't deserve this. I'll hold strong for them of course. Thanks for the advice.

BlackThirteen wrote:

Maybe move back to where your friends and family are as a start. On the bright side look at your children they're something good that came out of your marriage so don't feel like those 7 years were wasted. I truly do wish you the best.

I wish it was an option to move back home, but I don't want to pull my son out of school. He just loves it there. It's so true that it wasn't wasted...I just wish it wasn't so painful along the way.

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

Fifthelement

I'm so sorry for the pain that you are going through. I hope that you have friends and family that can provide you with support. {{{{hugs}}}}


PM me if you want to talk/vent.

SolarWorld

You sure it is over? You both want to end it? Cant be worked through? People make big fucking mistakes sometimes.

Thoughts_Arrive

Stay strong for your kids.
Don't think there is something wrong with you because there isn't, he had his reasons for doing it.
All the best and I hope all works out well.

Gary Carter

Fighting Hellfish wrote:

My advice would be to bury yourself in your kids. Spend as much time with them as you can. Not sure how old they are, and what they know, but they're probably hurting too, knowing that their family is splitting up,a nd not knowing why.

what he said. oh and put them in counseling to.

CJMST3K

i think what you'll need to figure out is whether or not you have interest in salvaging things with him, and whether he's genuinely sorry. that will probably be the starting point to figure out the rest.

Heineken Helen

I'm so soooo sorry girl :( I don't know what to say. Are you leaving him or have you left or is he leaving? Take some money out of your joint/his account and go on a nice long holiday and think it all over... maybe go visit your family or something? :( It doesn't matter if the girl is beautiful or younger... you're beautiful... but she's just a skank :oops:

Heineken Helen

CJMST3K wrote:

i think what you'll need to figure out is whether or not you have interest in salvaging things with him, and whether he's genuinely sorry. that will probably be the starting point to figure out the rest.

agreed... I dunno what's happened so far but I think a long holiday first, then some counselling... but again, we don't know the details.

Cinnamon Girl

4 hours sleep. I woke up this morning and got sick. Just wish it was a dream.

Thanks for the support guys. Unfortunately, my marriage is over. This isn't the first deception, there have been so many. He didn't fess up, he was caught. He admitted last night that he probably never would have told me unless I caught him.

We are civil with each other. He is in the basement until he can move out. I hate that I have to share my air with him.

I think the counseling is a smart idea...I'm calling my doctor today.

pjhawks

remember when life gives you lemons make lemonade. obviously the situation sucks big time and hurts a ton I'm sure, but there are plenty of amazing people who come from divorce. You can still give your children a wonderful loving home just with one less person around. As you hurt do everything you can to doubly make your children understand how much they are loved and that in no way are they to blame.

just to bring some levity just think that now you will become the hot single mom of the neighborhood

Cinnamon Girl

pjhawks wrote:

just to bring some levity just think that now you will become the hot single mom of the neighborhood

Thanks....but I have never, in my life, felt less hot....and "single mother" isn't the sexiest tag. :oops:

I know that I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. I just hope I can shake this feeling soon.

prytocorduroy

How old is he?

Cinnamon Girl

danny72688 wrote:

How old is he?

My husband? 30.

prytocorduroy

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

danny72688 wrote:

How old is he?

My husband? 30.

Ah, nevermind then--he should be mature enough not to sneak around. Marriage should be enough of a reason not to do so but... If he was 20ish I'd say maybe he was thinking with his dick.

Sorry this happened. Like others have said, be strong for your kids. You'll get through.

pjhawks

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

pjhawks wrote:

just to bring some levity just think that now you will become the hot single mom of the neighborhood

Thanks....but I have never, in my life, felt less hot....and "single mother" isn't the sexiest tag. :oops:

I know that I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. I just hope I can shake this feeling soon.

you will get through it - lean on family and friends as much as possible. good luck.

Heineken Helen

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

4 hours sleep. I woke up this morning and got sick. Just wish it was a dream.

Thanks for the support guys. Unfortunately, my marriage is over. This isn't the first deception, there have been so many. He didn't fess up, he was caught. He admitted last night that he probably never would have told me unless I caught him.

We are civil with each other. He is in the basement until he can move out. I hate that I have to share my air with him.

I think the counseling is a smart idea...I'm calling my doctor today.

I'm so sorry to hear that. At least he's moving out though. You deserve so much better!

Cinnamon Girl

danny72688 wrote:

Ah, nevermind then--he should be mature enough not to sneak around. Marriage should be enough of a reason not to do so but... If he was 20ish I'd say maybe he was thinking with his dick.

Sorry this happened. Like others have said, be strong for your kids. You'll get through.

He was definitely thinking with his dick. Now his dick is free to do what, and who, it wants.

Heineken Helen

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

Thanks....but I have never, in my life, felt less hot....and "single mother" isn't the sexiest tag. :oops:

I know that I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. I just hope I can shake this feeling soon.

maybe put all that energy into something constructive... like kickboxing or buy a punching bag.

Motha Judson

As much as life sucks right now for you remember one thing..

YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS, AS LONG AS YOU GIVE 100%, THATS ALL YOU CAN DO.

Life will move on, it always does.....

Byrnzie

John....



















...Bobbit.

:twisted:

AmentsChick

Oh this is just so heartbreaking! I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I can't imagine how much pain you must be in. I wish I had some comforting words for you, but I don't think anything I can say would help. You will go through this. No matter how cold the winter, there's a spring time ahead.

smithnic

Damn, this is so sad. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I wish you all the best in carrying on.

redmosquito10

I'm really really sorry, for you and your kids, but speaking as someone who was a child who came out of a kind of similar situation, your kids will be better off. It's kind of hard to explain what I mean by that, but I know that in my situation and the situation of countless other friends who came from divorced homes, it's very difficult at first, but in the long run it seems to lead to better relationships, definitely for you and your kids, and maybe even for them and their father. Even if kids don't understand the circumstances, they can usually appreciate the honesty (on your part) inherent in what's going on, and it will be much easier for you and your kids to have the best relationship possible. I know that sounds kind of muddled, but it's definitely not easy to explain why I can look back at my parents' divorce and now, years removed, realize that it was for the best

CJMST3K

You may want to consider at some point in the future returning from where you moved with the kids. It sounds like that was your support network. Something to consider.

justam

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

I know that this is really personal, but I'm just so sad and lonely right now. We've been married for 7 years and have 2 kids. Our marriage is over...I have been with him since I was 13. He was my first boyfriend and the only man I've ever been with. I feel so lost.

We moved here 3 months ago because he got a job here. The girl he had an affair with is beautiful...and younger, of course. I moved away from my friends and family. I feel stuck.

I don't mean to sound so pathetic, and I'm really embarrassed about how it sounds, but I just need to get it out.

I guess I'm looking for people who have been through this before. Has anyone here survived this pain and feels like giving me some wise words.

thanks for listening.

Was it a mistake he made or is it an on-going situation?

I think if you have two young children, it might be worth talking about what it means in the long run before you decide to end your marriage.