Hey Cin,
if you are still reading this....
After all you've been through, sometimes it is easy to let the little things go until you find your feet. Don't let things slide by you. If you have a joint account, maybe it would be best to open your own account and take some money out. My parents were in a similar situation, and my dad cleaned out the bank and left her with almost nothing- to raise 3 kids.
Maybe your husband is not that mean, but when people become bitter or try to make YOU take the blame- meanness comes out.
First off is to protect you and your kids, and making sure you can get by.
I just came across this thread now and all I can say is :(
If you are reading these messages (which I am sure you are even thought you can't post) I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to read about the situation you are going through and I hope things get better for you soon. Keep your head up. Things will get better. Time heals all wounds.
1996: Toronto
1998: Barrie
2000: Saratoga Springs
2003: Buffalo, Toronto
2005: Kitchener, London, Hamilton, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto
2006: Toronto x2, Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Gorge #1
2007: London, Dusseldorf, Vic, Lolla
2008: WPB, Tampa, DC, MSG x2, Hartford, Boston x2, Beacon
2009: Toronto, Chicago x2, Seattle x2, LA #3&4, San Diego, Philly x4
2010: Cleveland, Buffalo, Hartford
2011: Montreal, Toronto x2, Hamilton
2012: Missoula
2013: London, Wrigley, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Hartford, Dallas, OKC
i'm really sorry that he was a douchebag. there probably isnt a lot i can add to whats been said but i'll try.
first off, its probably less about you. never question yourself about "if i could have only done this for him" or "maybe if i didnt do that " he wouldnt have strayed. its that he wanted to be a selfish person and a complete idiot.
second of all, karma will take care of him. you will get good things coming back to you and he wont. it sucks that the kids have to get involved in all of this. which makes him all the more selfish. however, i was the child of divorced parents for similar reasons and i turned out ok.
and you will find someone way better. i know you prolly dont want anyone else right now, but when you do there wil be much love and happiness for you.
like i said , i know nothing i can say can help, but you always have friends here that can help.
There have been some people getting the message that they are banned and it's some kind of bbs error. If it happens to you, please let <!-- e --><a href="mailto:info@tenclub.net">info@tenclub.net</a><!-- e --> know or write to us and we'll pass it along so it can be fixed.
There have been some people getting the message that they are banned and it's some kind of bbs error. If it happens to you, please let <!-- e --><a href="mailto:info@tenclub.net">info@tenclub.net</a><!-- e --> know or write to us and we'll pass it along so it can be fixed.
(Norm--i was so close to quoting your previous post about possible ban but I was nice ) :P
hey i was just going on the information at the time...but i do apologize to kat/sea....they've done a lot of wacky bannings over the years but this one would have been too wacky
Whew....that sucked...I was racking my brain trying to figure out what I did.
Anyway...big big hugs to all of you for having my back!! Thanks so much.
It's so hard reading everything and not being able to respond...(I think I'm addicted :? )
Just want to let you guys know that although this may be the hardest week of my life, I am trying very hard to focus on my priorities (the kidlets) and move forward. I am blown away by the support and friends I've made just by being honest and open about this situation. I'm going to talk to my doctor tomorrow and work on getting the kids and myself some counseling.
What a beautiful thing this group is. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. :oops:
Welcome back and sorry for what you're going through.
Only thing I can pass on from experience ... a similar situation happened with my parents when I was about 4 (they stayed together) ... but just to remember (and remind others) that although the kids aren't in the room doesn't mean they aren't hearing what is said ... I regret that this situation adversely effected my relationship with my maternal grandparents as I overheard a lot of things being said by them about the father I loved and worshipped. It made me from a young age not want to spend time with them because in my mind they were mean to my Dad and means that I'm still not as close to them as they would like me to be as we didn't develop the relationship when I was young.
I hope that the counselling helps you and your kids get through this situation as best you can.
{{{CinGirl}}}
So are we strangers now? Like rock and roll and the radio?
Welcome back and sorry for what you're going through.
Only thing I can pass on from experience ... a similar situation happened with my parents when I was about 4 (they stayed together) ... but just to remember (and remind others) that although the kids aren't in the room doesn't mean they aren't hearing what is said ... I regret that this situation adversely effected my relationship with my maternal grandparents as I overheard a lot of things being said by them about the father I loved and worshipped. It made me from a young age not want to spend time with them because in my mind they were mean to my Dad and means that I'm still not as close to them as they would like me to be as we didn't develop the relationship when I was young.
I hope that the counselling helps you and your kids get through this situation as best you can.
{{{CinGirl}}}
well said... the reason I have no relationship/contact with my mother probably originates (and grew) from her treating me as her friend rather than daughter and bitching about my Dad... I didn't appreciate it then and I still don't.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
well said... the reason I have no relationship/contact with my mother probably originates (and grew) from her treating me as her friend rather than daughter and bitching about my Dad... I didn't appreciate it then and I still don't.
Well said too. I had the same situation with my mom as she used me as a pawn against my father her whole life and especially through their divorce. She asked me not to be the best man at his wedding when I was 14 because he was late on his alimony payment. Of course after he died she has had nothing but nicer things to say and considers herself a widow and not divorced.
Well said too. I had the same situation with my mom as she used me as a pawn against my father her whole life and especially through their divorce. She asked me not to be the best man at his wedding when I was 14 because he was late on his alimony payment. Of course after he died she has had nothing but nicer things to say and considers herself a widow and not divorced.
Just don't be one of these cinn girl... although I've no doubt you'll be fine . I'd imagine it will be tough not trying to get your kids on side by telling them bad stuff that he does... but your kids don't want to know... EVER! Don't expect them to love him any less... they're gonna be going through enough. I expect you know better than this though and, while there will be tough times, you're strong and you can only get stronger
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I am very sorry. Although I have never been married I know how it is to have someone betray you. It sucks. But I can't imagine what you are going through. :(
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
Comments
if you are still reading this....
After all you've been through, sometimes it is easy to let the little things go until you find your feet. Don't let things slide by you. If you have a joint account, maybe it would be best to open your own account and take some money out. My parents were in a similar situation, and my dad cleaned out the bank and left her with almost nothing- to raise 3 kids.
Maybe your husband is not that mean, but when people become bitter or try to make YOU take the blame- meanness comes out.
First off is to protect you and your kids, and making sure you can get by.
I hope you get un-banned. Good luck.
wtf about the banning?????
+1
keep your head up, cgirl!!! hope we see you back here soon!!!
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
If you are reading these messages (which I am sure you are even thought you can't post) I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to read about the situation you are going through and I hope things get better for you soon. Keep your head up. Things will get better. Time heals all wounds.
first off, its probably less about you. never question yourself about "if i could have only done this for him" or "maybe if i didnt do that " he wouldnt have strayed. its that he wanted to be a selfish person and a complete idiot.
second of all, karma will take care of him. you will get good things coming back to you and he wont. it sucks that the kids have to get involved in all of this. which makes him all the more selfish. however, i was the child of divorced parents for similar reasons and i turned out ok.
and you will find someone way better. i know you prolly dont want anyone else right now, but when you do there wil be much love and happiness for you.
like i said , i know nothing i can say can help, but you always have friends here that can help.
but nice people sw****w
IF it is not a mistake (which I hope it is), it has to be something other than starting this thread. It HAS to be.
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Like everyone else here, I can't figure out any reason to ban her. What's going on, mods???
that's what a lot of us are asking, unfortunately.
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
Damn gremlins!
xo
thanks for clearing it up kat
(Norm--i was so close to quoting your previous post about possible ban but I was nice
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
hey i was just going on the information at the time...but i do apologize to kat/sea....they've done a lot of wacky bannings over the years but this one would have been too wacky
At least she isn't banned after all though...
We are still thinking of ya Cinnamon Girl...
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
Welcome back.
Anyway...big big hugs to all of you for having my back!! Thanks so much.
It's so hard reading everything and not being able to respond...(I think I'm addicted :? )
Just want to let you guys know that although this may be the hardest week of my life, I am trying very hard to focus on my priorities (the kidlets) and move forward. I am blown away by the support and friends I've made just by being honest and open about this situation. I'm going to talk to my doctor tomorrow and work on getting the kids and myself some counseling.
What a beautiful thing this group is. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. :oops:
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
nice to see you back! keep your head up & take care of yourself!
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
I knew it was a mix up, you're too much of a sweetie to be banned!
Stay strong, we're all here for you
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
Only thing I can pass on from experience ... a similar situation happened with my parents when I was about 4 (they stayed together) ... but just to remember (and remind others) that although the kids aren't in the room doesn't mean they aren't hearing what is said ... I regret that this situation adversely effected my relationship with my maternal grandparents as I overheard a lot of things being said by them about the father I loved and worshipped. It made me from a young age not want to spend time with them because in my mind they were mean to my Dad and means that I'm still not as close to them as they would like me to be as we didn't develop the relationship when I was young.
I hope that the counselling helps you and your kids get through this situation as best you can.
{{{CinGirl}}}
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Well said too. I had the same situation with my mom as she used me as a pawn against my father her whole life and especially through their divorce. She asked me not to be the best man at his wedding when I was 14 because he was late on his alimony payment. Of course after he died she has had nothing but nicer things to say and considers herself a widow and not divorced.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you