So...my husband had an affair.

Heineken Helen

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

4 hours sleep. I woke up this morning and got sick. Just wish it was a dream.

Thanks for the support guys. Unfortunately, my marriage is over. This isn't the first deception, there have been so many. He didn't fess up, he was caught. He admitted last night that he probably never would have told me unless I caught him.

We are civil with each other. He is in the basement until he can move out. I hate that I have to share my air with him.

I think the counseling is a smart idea...I'm calling my doctor today.

I'm so sorry to hear that. At least he's moving out though. You deserve so much better!

Cinnamon Girl

danny72688 wrote:

Ah, nevermind then--he should be mature enough not to sneak around. Marriage should be enough of a reason not to do so but... If he was 20ish I'd say maybe he was thinking with his dick.

Sorry this happened. Like others have said, be strong for your kids. You'll get through.

He was definitely thinking with his dick. Now his dick is free to do what, and who, it wants.

Heineken Helen

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

Thanks....but I have never, in my life, felt less hot....and "single mother" isn't the sexiest tag. :oops:

I know that I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. I just hope I can shake this feeling soon.

maybe put all that energy into something constructive... like kickboxing or buy a punching bag.

Motha Judson

As much as life sucks right now for you remember one thing..

YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS, AS LONG AS YOU GIVE 100%, THATS ALL YOU CAN DO.

Life will move on, it always does.....

Byrnzie

John....



















...Bobbit.

:twisted:

AmentsChick

Oh this is just so heartbreaking! I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I can't imagine how much pain you must be in. I wish I had some comforting words for you, but I don't think anything I can say would help. You will go through this. No matter how cold the winter, there's a spring time ahead.

smithnic

Damn, this is so sad. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I wish you all the best in carrying on.

redmosquito10

I'm really really sorry, for you and your kids, but speaking as someone who was a child who came out of a kind of similar situation, your kids will be better off. It's kind of hard to explain what I mean by that, but I know that in my situation and the situation of countless other friends who came from divorced homes, it's very difficult at first, but in the long run it seems to lead to better relationships, definitely for you and your kids, and maybe even for them and their father. Even if kids don't understand the circumstances, they can usually appreciate the honesty (on your part) inherent in what's going on, and it will be much easier for you and your kids to have the best relationship possible. I know that sounds kind of muddled, but it's definitely not easy to explain why I can look back at my parents' divorce and now, years removed, realize that it was for the best

CJMST3K

You may want to consider at some point in the future returning from where you moved with the kids. It sounds like that was your support network. Something to consider.

justam

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

I know that this is really personal, but I'm just so sad and lonely right now. We've been married for 7 years and have 2 kids. Our marriage is over...I have been with him since I was 13. He was my first boyfriend and the only man I've ever been with. I feel so lost.

We moved here 3 months ago because he got a job here. The girl he had an affair with is beautiful...and younger, of course. I moved away from my friends and family. I feel stuck.

I don't mean to sound so pathetic, and I'm really embarrassed about how it sounds, but I just need to get it out.

I guess I'm looking for people who have been through this before. Has anyone here survived this pain and feels like giving me some wise words.

thanks for listening.

Was it a mistake he made or is it an on-going situation?

I think if you have two young children, it might be worth talking about what it means in the long run before you decide to end your marriage.

decides2dream

i don't know why, i just never imagined you were married and with 2 kids! i've seen your avatar once (i 99% of the time have them disabled) and i thought you looked so young.



my heart truly goes out to you. :( i cannot say i have any experience with your situation, but just being married a long time....i can only imagine the devastation you must feel. i wish you and your children love and healing, and that in time....good will come out of it for you all and you will be better and happier down the road!


hearts & thoughts!

Staffan

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

We moved here 3 months ago because he got a job here. The girl he had an affair with is beautiful...and younger, of course. I moved away from my friends and family. I feel stuck.

I don't mean to sound so pathetic, and I'm really embarrassed about how it sounds, but I just need to get it out.

I guess I'm looking for people who have been through this before. Has anyone here survived this pain and feels like giving me some wise words.

thanks for listening.

I think I understand how you feel, try to hang in there for the kids sake, the 7 year mark of a marriage/relationship is often a rough patch I have learned, try to consider going to counceling together, there may be ways to sort it out even if doesn't look so from your post.

hugs and happy thoughts from me

soulsinging

That's why you never marry young and never marry your first... it's inevitable that people are going to want to see what else is out there or wonder what they might have missed.

Still, that's shitty and I'm sorry it happened to you. It tore me up when my ex left me for another guy, but we weren't dating all that long and certainly weren't married, so I can't even imagine what you're feeling now.

I have no helpful advice... my advice is on the sadistic side... if he's living in the basement, hit the bars every now and again and bring a diff guy home... see how he likes that! It can't be bad for your confidence either!

Not to get too personal (as if that's possible at this point), but how old are you? From your picture I'd never in a million years have guessed you were married with 2 kids... you don't even look out of college! I can't imagine how he could find a younger, prettier girl that doesn't come with jailtime attached

Staffan

soulsinging wrote:

I can't imagine how he could find a younger, prettier girl that doesn't come with jailtime attached

sorry, but that is funny...............and true

restlesssoul

damn what a shitty situation. i feel for you and hope you can get through this. you are still very young and can rise above this and still have a great life ahead of yourself. wish you the best.


how did a 23yr old guy manage to pick a 13yr old girl up and marry her?

Cinnamon Girl

soulsinging wrote:

I can't imagine how he could find a younger, prettier girl that doesn't come with jailtime attached

Well thanks...thats nice to hear.

I'm 28. We were married when I was 22 so I guess we're just coming up on 7 years. I've been with him since I was 13. Didn't sleep with him till I was 17. Sorry if it's too much information.

soulsinging wrote:

That's why you never marry young and never marry your first... it's inevitable that people are going to want to see what else is out there or wonder what they might have missed.

Agreed...lesson learned.

Our relationship has had ups and downs, but the continuous trend is the lying. He likes to have secrets. And he seems to feel little guilt until he's been caught.

I was afraid to post here cause of the shame, but I knew that this board is full of supportive people.

Your words are really healing right now and it's so nice to relate to people.

Thanks.

Cinnamon Girl

justam wrote:

Was it a mistake he made or is it an on-going situation?

I think if you have two young children, it might be worth talking about what it means in the long run before you decide to end your marriage.

he claims it's over...but I have little to no faith in that.

I agree about making it work. We have been trying for years. This is the first affair (that I know of) but there have been so many other lies and secrets.

Cinnamon Girl

Heineken Helen wrote:

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

Thanks....but I have never, in my life, felt less hot....and "single mother" isn't the sexiest tag. :oops:

I know that I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. I just hope I can shake this feeling soon.

maybe put all that energy into something constructive... like kickboxing or buy a punching bag.

My husband is a Personal Trainer...he teaches kickboxing! :twisted:

Cinnamon Girl

restlesssoul wrote:

how did a 23yr old guy manage to pick a 13yr old girl up and marry her?

Wha?

petrocs

Cinnamon Girl wrote:

I know that this is really personal, but I'm just so sad and lonely right now. We've been married for 7 years and have 2 kids. Our marriage is over...I have been with him since I was 13. He was my first boyfriend and the only man I've ever been with. I feel so lost.

We moved here 3 months ago because he got a job here. The girl he had an affair with is beautiful...and younger, of course. I moved away from my friends and family. I feel stuck.

I don't mean to sound so pathetic, and I'm really embarrassed about how it sounds, but I just need to get it out.

I guess I'm looking for people who have been through this before. Has anyone here survived this pain and feels like giving me some wise words.

thanks for listening.

I am so very sorry to hear this Cinnamon. Your kids will need you right now and they will be able to help you. You're a beautiful woman and you'll be fine. He will realize once this younger woman decides to leave HIM what he lost. If I were you I'd move back near my family and friends..they will be your strength. And your PJ friends will always be here for you...we never leave

Oh...and btw...I'm with a woman whos had 2 children by 2 different guys...there are guys out there who will LOVE you...and they might even be a devilishly handsome and sexy as me LOL