I just finished my last university exam and have thus finished my Bachelor's degree yet I feel so empty and sad. I should feel excited, happy. But I am not.
Congratulations M! That is an awesome achievement even though it may not feel like it at the moment. What you’re feeling is quite normal. Understandably, you’re tired; you’ve worked hard to achieve this degree. In addition to the normal challenges and stresses school can bring, you’ve managed to overcome the challenges of anxiety and depression to actually complete this specific goal. That’s not nothing! You’re now facing the question of, “what do I do now?” That can cause additional anxiety and stress. Try to put that aside for a moment. Give yourself some time to rest and recuperate. Maybe go on a mini-break to a beachside cabin or something. An opportunity to get away from your current situation. Hopefully, you’ll come to appreciate what you’ve accomplished. Again, congratulations.
S xx
Thank you so much S, you're very kind and beautiful xx Yeah there's a bit of anxiety about the next step. I plan on doing Honours next year if I get accepted which I think I will. My growing student loan debt is worrying me. Not sure I'll be able afford to do a Master's after Honours. I had 2 poor night's sleep and last night slept okay, my anxiety has been 10/10 because of the exam and beginning art classes next week. I didn't do the best I felt on my exam so was a bit pissed off aftwerwards. I ran out of time and had to rush it. A bit sad it is all over, no idea why as I'll be back there next year if accepted into Honours. I just felt lonely after the exam too, my cohort all went for pizza and drinks after the exam, I went home alone. I'm way older than them so it's not the right fit, I've been once before to drinks. I didn't get invited this time probably because I'm not into what they are into or because they guy that organises is upset at my Facebook posts about banning horse racing when he is into that (he came across as a bit cold compared to his usual friendly self). As for a get away, does starting art classes next week count haha?
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I just finished my last university exam and have thus finished my Bachelor's degree yet I feel so empty and sad. I should feel excited, happy. But I am not.
I basically felt the same way when I graduated from university. I LOVED my university years, and my entire life revolved around going to university and all the people I was connected to there. I even worked there, in a position that required you to be a student, so I lost two beloved jobs when I graduated instead of just the one job of being a full time student. I also lost my very active social life on campus, and I saw many very close friends leave and move to distance places to carry on with their own lives. Leaving that rich and happy life so suddenly was a true loss for me, and I grieved it for quite a while. I also had no idea WTF I was going to do. I spent the next 6 months looking for a decent job, and it really really sucked. I was terribly poor while I tried to start a career. To top it off, me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up at that time just because all those changes for both of us disrupted what we were getting out of each other as students - our relationship didn't survive the life transition. It was a shitty period in life. But I think this is a relatively normal experience to feel empty and sad upon graduation. It's not fucking fun to suddenly enter the "real world" like that and lose what you have known for years, unless maybe if you happen to graduate with some great job offers, which isn't the norm, or unless you plan on immediately going back to school for a masters, and just continue what you've been doing.
My point is don't be so hard on yourself. There is no way you "should" feel about this. You feel the way you feel for good reasons. This isn't an easy time for people. Now you just need to find a job. There ARE jobs out there where bullying isn't a thing. I have no clue how you came to work as places full of so many inappropriately mean people.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Thank you PJ_Soul. I didn't have an active social life at university being much older than my cohort. They all went for drinks to celebrate, I went home, meh. I wasn't invited anyways. I saw everyone all happy and together and I was going home alone and feeling not that great and it made me feel worse. Last time I graduated from university in 2005 I was so excited I was jumping for joy. I'll be doing Honours at the same university it seems, so it'll just be like a continuation for me. But I still felt a bit flat even though I know that. No idea why. Maybe because Honours is very intense and I need to get first class honours to be able to progress to Master's or PhD. I'm actually waiting on the outcome of a part time job at another university in a tutoring role. So I might have employment whilst studying next year. Oh, and there's a conflict with loving art so much. My art teacher told me all the great painters had jobs on the side and started painting in their 30s. I guess I should not feel too bad.
I still have anxiety though, I just feel on edge. I'll have to mention this to my GP if it does not go away in a week or so. I spent the afternoon drawing (see post in the art forum) to take my mind off it but I still do not feel calm.
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
It would make me feel a lot better if family and friends asked how I was going with my mental health but they never do. It makes me feel alone and that no one cares about me. I have an appointment this afternoon with a psychiatrist to review my medication, have not seen one in years. My GP suggested I check with one for an expert opinion. I don't even know what to say. Not sure if this new drug is even working. No drug will cure loneliness, feeling like noone cares, not having a direction in life, not having a purpose, a job, a place of your own, a partner, a decent family etc etc etc.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
0
Options
hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
What option? Seeing the psychiatrist? What about noone asking how I'm going?
they say we train others how to treat us.
perhaps, just maybe , folks are afraid of the answer. when given honestly , instead of the I'm ok surface pleasanties.
So, they ask. You answer honestly. Then what? Isnt that an awkward position to be put in?
Most often, what you are experiencing, is about them and their fear of uncomfortability.
Does that make sense?
I was going to say just this.
There are so many times people are so worried about saying the wrong thing that they say nothing at all believing that causes less damage. And...honestly, that sometimes is the better option, particularly when speaking to people who lack a filter.
2014: Cincinnati 2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
0
Options
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 36,360
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
What option? Seeing the psychiatrist? What about noone asking how I'm going?
they say we train others how to treat us.
perhaps, just maybe , folks are afraid of the answer. when given honestly , instead of the I'm ok surface pleasanties.
So, they ask. You answer honestly. Then what? Isnt that an awkward position to be put in?
Most often, what you are experiencing, is about them and their fear of uncomfortability.
Does that make sense?
I was going to say just this.
There are so many times people are so worried about saying the wrong thing that they say nothing at all believing that causes less damage. And...honestly, that sometimes is the better option, particularly when speaking to people who lack a filter.
although that leads to feelings of being unloved or unworthy of caring.....
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
0
Options
hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
What option? Seeing the psychiatrist? What about noone asking how I'm going?
they say we train others how to treat us.
perhaps, just maybe , folks are afraid of the answer. when given honestly , instead of the I'm ok surface pleasanties.
So, they ask. You answer honestly. Then what? Isnt that an awkward position to be put in?
Most often, what you are experiencing, is about them and their fear of uncomfortability.
Does that make sense?
I was going to say just this.
There are so many times people are so worried about saying the wrong thing that they say nothing at all believing that causes less damage. And...honestly, that sometimes is the better option, particularly when speaking to people who lack a filter.
although that leads to feelings of being unloved or unworthy of caring.....
Exactly
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I know one girl from university who suffers depression. I've checked in on her a number of times to see how she is. She's never reciprocated. You'd think that someone who understands would ask in return.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
Thank you for asking. You are kind. But the answer is getting worse. I dont post as often as i want because its all very the same and i dont want to worry others . I spoke on the phone to the best dr I've spoken to. He listened and was kind. He told me i do not have the illness i think i do. He even sent me a txt with the words do NOT have in it so could read it over and over but sadly i cant seem to believe anyone only myself. He says what i do have is ocd. Health anxiety. Which is a fact. But as you all who know me a bit that doesn't answer my symptoms. I live in a black dark hell.
Post edited by lastexitlondon on
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
And as this is an anxiety thread. Something that makes me so upset is the upcoming tour and its making me so sad. I used to be that person getting excited making plans and its gone for me and it breaks my heart.
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
What option? Seeing the psychiatrist? What about noone asking how I'm going?
they say we train others how to treat us.
perhaps, just maybe , folks are afraid of the answer. when given honestly , instead of the I'm ok surface pleasanties.
So, they ask. You answer honestly. Then what? Isnt that an awkward position to be put in?
Most often, what you are experiencing, is about them and their fear of uncomfortability.
Does that make sense?
I was going to say just this.
There are so many times people are so worried about saying the wrong thing that they say nothing at all believing that causes less damage. And...honestly, that sometimes is the better option, particularly when speaking to people who lack a filter.
although that leads to feelings of being unloved or unworthy of caring.....
Exactly
Unfortunately, I absolutely agree. Just saying that they may not realize the damage they do.
2014: Cincinnati 2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
0
Options
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 36,360
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
Thank you for asking. You are kind. But the answer is getting worse. I dont post as often as i want because its all very the same and i dont want to worry others . I spoke on the phone to the best dr I've spoken to. He listened and was kind. He told me i do not have the illness i think i do. He even sent me a txt with the words do NOT have in it so could read it over and over but sadly i cant seem to believe anyone only myself. He says what i do have is ocd. Health anxiety. Which is a fact. But as you all who know me a bit that doesn't answer my symptoms. I live in a black dark hell.
At least you know what you have which many find comforting.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
What option? Seeing the psychiatrist? What about noone asking how I'm going?
they say we train others how to treat us.
perhaps, just maybe , folks are afraid of the answer. when given honestly , instead of the I'm ok surface pleasanties.
So, they ask. You answer honestly. Then what? Isnt that an awkward position to be put in?
Most often, what you are experiencing, is about them and their fear of uncomfortability.
Does that make sense?
I was going to say just this.
There are so many times people are so worried about saying the wrong thing that they say nothing at all believing that causes less damage. And...honestly, that sometimes is the better option, particularly when speaking to people who lack a filter.
although that leads to feelings of being unloved or unworthy of caring.....
Exactly
Unfortunately, I absolutely agree. Just saying that they may not realize the damage they do.
How do I (or should I even) bring this up with family and friends? I fear losing my friends if I tell them how sad it makes me.
My best friend only asks how I am with physical ailments. Like recently he asked how my back is as I had pain.
My psychiatrist upped my dose.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Some of that has to come from you; hopefully the psychiatrist, along with other means, can help you get there.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
Thank you for asking. You are kind. But the answer is getting worse. I dont post as often as i want because its all very the same and i dont want to worry others . I spoke on the phone to the best dr I've spoken to. He listened and was kind. He told me i do not have the illness i think i do. He even sent me a txt with the words do NOT have in it so could read it over and over but sadly i cant seem to believe anyone only myself. He says what i do have is ocd. Health anxiety. Which is a fact. But as you all who know me a bit that doesn't answer my symptoms. I live in a black dark hell.
At least you know what you have which many find comforting.
I don't believe what they say as i know what ive lost thats the problem. Daily life is not recognisable to how it was
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I feel like my friends don't really like me. Anything I share on Facebook is ignored, noone interacts with me on there anymore. I see them liking and commenting on other people's posts but mine are just ignored. Why am I so unlovable?
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I feel like my friends don't really like me. Anything I share on Facebook is ignored, noone interacts with me on there anymore. I see them liking and commenting on other people's posts but mine are just ignored. Why am I so unlovable?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I am in this fucked up place where I don't want to live anymore but I am terrified of dying and death. It is like being stuck in a nightmare. I want to die but I don't want to die.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Comments
Yeah there's a bit of anxiety about the next step. I plan on doing Honours next year if I get accepted which I think I will.
My growing student loan debt is worrying me. Not sure I'll be able afford to do a Master's after Honours.
I had 2 poor night's sleep and last night slept okay, my anxiety has been 10/10 because of the exam and beginning art classes next week.
I didn't do the best I felt on my exam so was a bit pissed off aftwerwards. I ran out of time and had to rush it.
A bit sad it is all over, no idea why as I'll be back there next year if accepted into Honours.
I just felt lonely after the exam too, my cohort all went for pizza and drinks after the exam, I went home alone.
I'm way older than them so it's not the right fit, I've been once before to drinks. I didn't get invited this time probably because I'm not into what they are into or because they guy that organises is upset at my Facebook posts about banning horse racing when he is into that (he came across as a bit cold compared to his usual friendly self).
As for a get away, does starting art classes next week count haha?
I didn't have an active social life at university being much older than my cohort. They all went for drinks to celebrate, I went home, meh. I wasn't invited anyways. I saw everyone all happy and together and I was going home alone and feeling not that great and it made me feel worse. Last time I graduated from university in 2005 I was so excited I was jumping for joy.
I'll be doing Honours at the same university it seems, so it'll just be like a continuation for me.
But I still felt a bit flat even though I know that. No idea why. Maybe because Honours is very intense and I need to get first class honours to be able to progress to Master's or PhD. I'm actually waiting on the outcome of a part time job at another university in a tutoring role. So I might have employment whilst studying next year.
Oh, and there's a conflict with loving art so much. My art teacher told me all the great painters had jobs on the side and started painting in their 30s. I guess I should not feel too bad.
I still have anxiety though, I just feel on edge. I'll have to mention this to my GP if it does not go away in a week or so.
I spent the afternoon drawing (see post in the art forum) to take my mind off it but I still do not feel calm.
It makes me feel alone and that no one cares about me.
I have an appointment this afternoon with a psychiatrist to review my medication, have not seen one in years. My GP suggested I check with one for an expert opinion. I don't even know what to say. Not sure if this new drug is even working. No drug will cure loneliness, feeling like noone cares, not having a direction in life, not having a purpose, a job, a place of your own, a partner, a decent family etc etc etc.
(I'm surprised this wasn't an option provided / taken before...?)
Rob, how are you doing?
What about noone asking how I'm going?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
There are so many times people are so worried about saying the wrong thing that they say nothing at all believing that causes less damage. And...honestly, that sometimes is the better option, particularly when speaking to people who lack a filter.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
As for the other question, see below!
*edit - technically, above
But the answer is getting worse. I dont post as often as i want because its all very the same and i dont want to worry others . I spoke on the phone to the best dr I've spoken to. He listened and was kind. He told me i do not have the illness i think i do. He even sent me a txt with the words do NOT have in it so could read it over and over but sadly i cant seem to believe anyone only myself. He says what i do have is ocd. Health anxiety. Which is a fact. But as you all who know me a bit that doesn't answer my symptoms. I live in a black dark hell.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Something that makes me so upset is the upcoming tour and its making me so sad.
I used to be that person getting excited making plans and its gone for me and it breaks my heart.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Anything I share on Facebook is ignored, noone interacts with me on there anymore.
I see them liking and commenting on other people's posts but mine are just ignored.
Why am I so unlovable?
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
All the drs say the same. Its from anxiety. Not anything else. I dont buy it.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
It is like being stuck in a nightmare. I want to die but I don't want to die.