@njnancy I bought CoQ10 today. 150mg as it is more affordable and you get double the amount in the bottle than the high strength 300mg. Which dose does your mum take?
I'm not njnancy but I'm the one whose mom takes the CoQ10. She takes 200mg. It is expensive, no doubt, but we make do. My mom is an elderly person with lots of arthritis and sciatica, etc, and she's very sedentary no matter how hard I've tried to motivate her to keep moving, so she still struggles with that pain. But from what I've read about how the enzyme performs throughout the metabolic system, I believe the benefits she has experienced are related generally to whole body cell production and function. I've decided that when she eventually passes on, I will start taking the supplement myself just for my own general healthy aging. Right now I'm not putting out the money for a double dose for the two of us.
I really hope you get some relief.
Oops. Sorry got mixed up. Hopefully it works. I spent $39 AUD for the bottle. Thanks. I'd like to get back into weight training so fingers crossed.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
They never ask about me. My sister has not even said congratulations that I finished my university degree. Then her husband gets me upset with his sexist, racist, Islamophobic comments. And my niece is only interested in getting her lips injected with filler and her eyelashes done, materialistic. And her sister won't even say hello, can't be bothered to ever come downstairs from her room.
You need to adjust your expectations. Beating your head against the wall, expecting them to act any differently than they do is not going to happen. Once you realize that your family is not going to give you the love you crave and envision them giving to you, life will go in an upward swing for you. Sounds cruel, but it is true. I have lived it.
My brother is a recovered heroin addict. He did not speak to me for 2 1/2 years while he was in the throes of his addiction. (Now clean after 22+ years.) As much as I wanted better for him and his behavior to others to be less destructive, I could not make him make good choices. The same with your family. They very well could be a bunch of self-absorbed asshats who will never change. One thing is clear, they will only change on their own. You cannot force it and I would think it best for you to stop trying. It is exhausting you and it might be best for you to concentrate on healing the inner you.
Yeah I agree, it's a buddhist thing or something is to surrender. I really need to listen to the book I read by Eckhart Tolle. I have not gone around my sister's house for a while, my brother in law mentioned that to me today because I had to pick him up from work as he is without a car. I just said I've been busy. I don't feel comfortable telling him it's because of his views. Going there tonight to drive him home drained me and left me feeling negative.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
brianlux -- I can't get out of the quote function! Hahaha -- someone ought to do a study on the anxiety inducing effects of the forum quote feature! We can't get subs to come back to our building either. Last week, a parent in the community came in for her first time, and a student first turned over the coffee on her desk and then shoved the sub when she attempted to direct the student to her seat, all while narrating her actions with the usual expletives. The sub told us when she left at the end of the day that she used to blame the teachers for not being able to discipline the kids but now she knows the real truth. Unfortunately she did not press charges, but the day a child lays hands on me is the day that kid gets arrested and spends some time in the juvenile justice system. The primary coping strategy of other teachers is to call in sick, and with the lack of subs, we all get the glorious duty of covering other teachers' classes during our planning periods. I agree with you, though. I've already decided that this job is not worth the impact on my health. The problem is finding another job. I'm 50 years old and can't afford to start over in another profession and probably will have a difficult time because of the competition with younger workers. And while you think I could easily get another teaching job, think again. Last spring when I was looking to relocate within my previous school division to reduce my commute time, I couldn't even get an interview at other schools because of the obvious age discrimination that goes on. I have a long record of success in the classroom and accomplishments as a curriculum leader but was passed on in favor of young candidates because it is part of school administrative culture to get rid of older teachers who express any concern about school "reform" initiatives (the subject of another thread). I don't have a spouse to support me. I am the primary caregiver of my mother who only collects social security with no other retirement income, so she relies on me to put a roof over our heads and food on our table. All I hear in my head now is excuse, excuse, excuse -- but I'm terrified, plain and simple, of jeopardizing my current financial security which isn't even all that secure, to be honest, and my retirement, which again won't be champagne and caviar. I've joked that when I retire with my pension I'll be able to afford a trailer in Mississippi (I don't even enter the occasional teacher salary threads because it also sends my anxiety and blood boiling!!) I'm definitely looking for a new therapist close to home. The one I was seeing does not accept my new insurance, and it's in my previous living community, so driving there for appointments has turned into a hassle. But I'm going to work on that. And I'm going to work on getting my exercise routine restarted, and my gratitude journal, and everything else. What makes me so really, really sad is how this experience has changed profoundly my perspective on the illegal immigration situation and Trump's comments about people from "shithole" countries who are ruining our communities. I know that is another thread as well, but I will also bravely say here that this school has in fact been destroyed by the lawless kids from El Salvador whose lawless parents have no regard for our institutions. I grew up in the neighborhood I now teach in. Until about a decade ago, it was a high performing gem in our city. As the community changed, and according to the last census, the majority of people living here were born in El Salvador, I was the first to defend and express a welcoming attitude toward the families who came here for all the reasons we hear people say -- but I had no firsthand knowledge about what that impact really was. Now I do, and so terribly sadly, I find myself thinking and feeling all the things we hear from that "other racist side of America" and I cry for that, too. Part of the reason I took the job is because I thought I could help. And I can't. It's just a fucking mess.
I have had well-managed (mostly med free) anxiety my whole adult life -- until recently. In August, I started a new teaching job at a school that I did not know would be so dangerous. I knew going in the kids would have challenges because most of them, like 90%, are on free and reduced lunch and English Langiage Learners. But like my teacher neighbor, also new to this building (50% turnover rate here), I thought how bad can it be?? What I did not know is that there would be fights every day, weapons, assaulting teachers, cursing teachers, drugs in the bathroom, you name it. And then there's all the traumatic stories these kids have girls who have been raped, suicide attempts and cutting and abuse. It's like living through a Dangerous Minds movie, except I'm not Michelle Pfeiffer, and it's not going to be over in two hours with an inspiring ending. I wake up everyday miserable about having to go work to face the secondary abuse they project onto me in the classroom, and knowing I have to protect them from each other, as well as having to protect myself. Some days I'm in flight mode, some days I'm in fight mode (which never works out well). I fear something terrible is going to happen before the year is out. I leave work on most days with chest tightness or pain, I have a low-grade headache that never goes away, I'm worried I'm going to have a heart attack, but have not had my blood pressure checked, which I probably should. I started taking the Xanax more frequently but know it's not something I can do chronically because I don't want to turn into a junkie. For a while I was heavily self medicating with pot, but I know from experience that just masks my unhappiness and doesn't make the problem go away. I've been teaching for 26 years and have never experienced anything like this. I've always been able to manage the inherent job stress through rest, exercise, meditation, yoga, periodic check-ins with a therapist. But I can't get out of the catastrophic thinking mode and I am having a really hard time finding pleasure in other activities. I come home and just crawl into bed and hide which also is not sustainable. On the days I don't do that, I snap at my family and have a short fuse, which is also not right. I wish I could turn back time and undo this terrible career decision, and I'm paralyzed about how to get out. I don't have the financial option of just quitting. Feeling trapped is the worst part.
I appreciate all of you and thank you for opening this space to everyone who needs to vent and cry and seek encouragement. I feel all of your pain and wish you well in your own struggles.
I am very sorry but also very proud of anyone whom would take a selfless job like this. With that said I had a friend who worked with a women's shelter after she got out of college.
After two years working there and seeing the abuse , rape , child abuse and everything else these poor females went thru she was going thru 2-3 bottles of wine a night because it was her only way to escape the day. I remember talking to her on the phone and her crying and just not know what to do because she felt someone had to be their for these females but that it was too much for her.
So I do applaud everything you do but sometimes you come to a cross roads and realize this may not be for you , if it is causing destructive behavior on your end then in the end it is really not helping anyone. Please don't take that as I think you are weak and cannot do it. Just some jobs take a very certain person and you just may not be a good fit for this.
brianlux -- I can't get out of the quote function! Hahaha -- someone ought to do a study on the anxiety inducing effects of the forum quote feature! We can't get subs to come back to our building either. Last week, a parent in the community came in for her first time, and a student first turned over the coffee on her desk and then shoved the sub when she attempted to direct the student to her seat, all while narrating her actions with the usual expletives. The sub told us when she left at the end of the day that she used to blame the teachers for not being able to discipline the kids but now she knows the real truth. Unfortunately she did not press charges, but the day a child lays hands on me is the day that kid gets arrested and spends some time in the juvenile justice system. The primary coping strategy of other teachers is to call in sick, and with the lack of subs, we all get the glorious duty of covering other teachers' classes during our planning periods. I agree with you, though. I've already decided that this job is not worth the impact on my health. The problem is finding another job. I'm 50 years old and can't afford to start over in another profession and probably will have a difficult time because of the competition with younger workers. And while you think I could easily get another teaching job, think again. Last spring when I was looking to relocate within my previous school division to reduce my commute time, I couldn't even get an interview at other schools because of the obvious age discrimination that goes on. I have a long record of success in the classroom and accomplishments as a curriculum leader but was passed on in favor of young candidates because it is part of school administrative culture to get rid of older teachers who express any concern about school "reform" initiatives (the subject of another thread). I don't have a spouse to support me. I am the primary caregiver of my mother who only collects social security with no other retirement income, so she relies on me to put a roof over our heads and food on our table. All I hear in my head now is excuse, excuse, excuse -- but I'm terrified, plain and simple, of jeopardizing my current financial security which isn't even all that secure, to be honest, and my retirement, which again won't be champagne and caviar. I've joked that when I retire with my pension I'll be able to afford a trailer in Mississippi (I don't even enter the occasional teacher salary threads because it also sends my anxiety and blood boiling!!) I'm definitely looking for a new therapist close to home. The one I was seeing does not accept my new insurance, and it's in my previous living community, so driving there for appointments has turned into a hassle. But I'm going to work on that. And I'm going to work on getting my exercise routine restarted, and my gratitude journal, and everything else. What makes me so really, really sad is how this experience has changed profoundly my perspective on the illegal immigration situation and Trump's comments about people from "shithole" countries who are ruining our communities. I know that is another thread as well, but I will also bravely say here that this school has in fact been destroyed by the lawless kids from El Salvador whose lawless parents have no regard for our institutions. I grew up in the neighborhood I now teach in. Until about a decade ago, it was a high performing gem in our city. As the community changed, and according to the last census, the majority of people living here were born in El Salvador, I was the first to defend and express a welcoming attitude toward the families who came here for all the reasons we hear people say -- but I had no firsthand knowledge about what that impact really was. Now I do, and so terribly sadly, I find myself thinking and feeling all the things we hear from that "other racist side of America" and I cry for that, too. Part of the reason I took the job is because I thought I could help. And I can't. It's just a fucking mess.
I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation WhatDreams. I’ve watched on the news and read online so many horror stories about both teaching and healthcare in the US if you don’t fall into the wealthiest category. It’s not 100% perfect where I live, but I count my blessings everyday.
That being said, I really feel for you. I understand how your everyday situation may colour how you view things, and it’s hard when your suffering to feel compassion for those who appear ungrateful. But I ask you to try to consider how you’re feeling after such a short time in this environment and recognise that these children are in a similar or even worse environment, both at home and at school, and so were their parents, and possibly their grandparents. That can make anyone a little feral. I don’t mean to sound like I’m dehumanising them, but that fear and desperation must make everyday living a struggle and finding grace or being grateful for the little things a Herculean feat.
I hope that you are able to get away from that negativity through both exercise and meditation as opposed to medication or liquor. Are there volunteer opportunities available around you? Baby holding at the hospital? Visiting seniors homes to play cards or to talk? Or perhaps establishing a dog-walking side job. I realise that these things require time and energy and might seem like too much on top of the load you’re carrying right now, but I hope you can find something that can give you a little space to heal.
I sincerely hope that you do not lose the light and compassion that lead you into teaching. It is a noble profession despite how it seems to be valued in our society. Having said that, those skills and that compassion can be transferable. Good luck and vent as much and as often as you need here. ((((Hugs))))
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
brianlux -- I can't get out of the quote function! Hahaha -- someone ought to do a study on the anxiety inducing effects of the forum quote feature! We can't get subs to come back to our building either. Last week, a parent in the community came in for her first time, and a student first turned over the coffee on her desk and then shoved the sub when she attempted to direct the student to her seat, all while narrating her actions with the usual expletives. The sub told us when she left at the end of the day that she used to blame the teachers for not being able to discipline the kids but now she knows the real truth. Unfortunately she did not press charges, but the day a child lays hands on me is the day that kid gets arrested and spends some time in the juvenile justice system. The primary coping strategy of other teachers is to call in sick, and with the lack of subs, we all get the glorious duty of covering other teachers' classes during our planning periods. I agree with you, though. I've already decided that this job is not worth the impact on my health. The problem is finding another job. I'm 50 years old and can't afford to start over in another profession and probably will have a difficult time because of the competition with younger workers. And while you think I could easily get another teaching job, think again. Last spring when I was looking to relocate within my previous school division to reduce my commute time, I couldn't even get an interview at other schools because of the obvious age discrimination that goes on. I have a long record of success in the classroom and accomplishments as a curriculum leader but was passed on in favor of young candidates because it is part of school administrative culture to get rid of older teachers who express any concern about school "reform" initiatives (the subject of another thread). I don't have a spouse to support me. I am the primary caregiver of my mother who only collects social security with no other retirement income, so she relies on me to put a roof over our heads and food on our table. All I hear in my head now is excuse, excuse, excuse -- but I'm terrified, plain and simple, of jeopardizing my current financial security which isn't even all that secure, to be honest, and my retirement, which again won't be champagne and caviar. I've joked that when I retire with my pension I'll be able to afford a trailer in Mississippi (I don't even enter the occasional teacher salary threads because it also sends my anxiety and blood boiling!!) I'm definitely looking for a new therapist close to home. The one I was seeing does not accept my new insurance, and it's in my previous living community, so driving there for appointments has turned into a hassle. But I'm going to work on that. And I'm going to work on getting my exercise routine restarted, and my gratitude journal, and everything else. What makes me so really, really sad is how this experience has changed profoundly my perspective on the illegal immigration situation and Trump's comments about people from "shithole" countries who are ruining our communities. I know that is another thread as well, but I will also bravely say here that this school has in fact been destroyed by the lawless kids from El Salvador whose lawless parents have no regard for our institutions. I grew up in the neighborhood I now teach in. Until about a decade ago, it was a high performing gem in our city. As the community changed, and according to the last census, the majority of people living here were born in El Salvador, I was the first to defend and express a welcoming attitude toward the families who came here for all the reasons we hear people say -- but I had no firsthand knowledge about what that impact really was. Now I do, and so terribly sadly, I find myself thinking and feeling all the things we hear from that "other racist side of America" and I cry for that, too. Part of the reason I took the job is because I thought I could help. And I can't. It's just a fucking mess.
I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation WhatDreams. I’ve watched on the news and read online so many horror stories about both teaching and healthcare in the US if you don’t fall into the wealthiest category. It’s not 100% perfect where I live, but I count my blessings everyday.
That being said, I really feel for you. I understand how your everyday situation may colour how you view things, and it’s hard when your suffering to feel compassion for those who appear ungrateful. But I ask you to try to consider how you’re feeling after such a short time in this environment and recognise that these children are in a similar or even worse environment, both at home and at school, and so were their parents, and possibly their grandparents. That can make anyone a little feral. I don’t mean to sound like I’m dehumanising them, but that fear and desperation must make everyday living a struggle and finding grace or being grateful for the little things a Herculean feat.
I hope that you are able to get away from that negativity through both exercise and meditation as opposed to medication or liquor. Are there volunteer opportunities available around you? Baby holding at the hospital? Visiting seniors homes to play cards or to talk? Or perhaps establishing a dog-walking side job. I realise that these things require time and energy and might seem like too much on top of the load you’re carrying right now, but I hope you can find something that can give you a little space to heal.
I sincerely hope that you do not lose the light and compassion that lead you into teaching. It is a noble profession despite how it seems to be valued in our society. Having said that, those skills and that compassion can be transferable. Good luck and vent as much and as often as you need here. ((((Hugs))))
Fucking scarlet fever ffs. What is this the damn middle ages?
I am so very sorry. It's just in the run of childhood diseases that they get. K didn't get that, but I think she got all of the rest of them. Roseola was a week solid of high fever and screaming. She wasn't a screamer. Fifth disease (slap cheek), chicken pox, hand foot and mouth... Oh yes, been there. It hugely sucks. Curious George and goldfish crackers got us through. May the force be with you.
I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation WhatDreams. I’ve watched on the news and read online so many horror stories about both teaching and healthcare in the US if you don’t fall into the wealthiest category. It’s not 100% perfect where I live, but I count my blessings everyday.
That being said, I really feel for you. I understand how your everyday situation may colour how you view things, and it’s hard when your suffering to feel compassion for those who appear ungrateful. But I ask you to try to consider how you’re feeling after such a short time in this environment and recognise that these children are in a similar or even worse environment, both at home and at school, and so were their parents, and possibly their grandparents. That can make anyone a little feral. I don’t mean to sound like I’m dehumanising them, but that fear and desperation must make everyday living a struggle and finding grace or being grateful for the little things a Herculean feat.
I hope that you are able to get away from that negativity through both exercise and meditation as opposed to medication or liquor. Are there volunteer opportunities available around you? Baby holding at the hospital? Visiting seniors homes to play cards or to talk? Or perhaps establishing a dog-walking side job. I realise that these things require time and energy and might seem like too much on top of the load you’re carrying right now, but I hope you can find something that can give you a little space to heal.
I sincerely hope that you do not lose the light and compassion that lead you into teaching. It is a noble profession despite how it seems to be valued in our society. Having said that, those skills and that compassion can be transferable. Good luck and vent as much and as often as you need here. ((((Hugs))))
"Feral" is the perfect word to describe the way these kids behave. There is so much heightened drama in a middle school to begin with, even for "normal" kids, and add in all the stress that this population brings with them. I'm on a roller-coaster emotionally because I know it to be true that so many of them struggle with things no child should have to experience. I started the year with my heart very much where you point me to be. And I know at some point I probably can climb that hill again, and it will be a year of ups and downs if I decide I can stick with it. The good news is that I don't drink much except the social glass of wine, and I only binge-smoke marijuana a few months out of the year. I'm on a break from it now because I'm also trying to quit smoking cigarettes and the weed is a trigger. It's been ten days since my last smoke. I turn 50 in three weeks and I've sworn that 50 is it for the cigarettes. I said 40, too, and 45, and 30 . . . we know how addiction works. But so far, so good. I do know, however, that one puff the magic dragon and I'm on my way to 7-11 for some Marlboro's within the half hour. So, no weed for a while until I figure that out.
One thing I also started this morning is to go on a news media black out. The whole world is so fucked up right now, and I tend to be one who can lie in bed all night sleepless over the end of civilization, or a climate apocalypse, or a super-bacteria extinction, or Trump wins the next election and we have to endure this shit for five more years and what's going to happen to democracy, and it goes on and on in my head. No more news for a while. I can't take it. It doesn't help to turn on the news at all.
Well, thank you again for the hugs and perspective. I've been crying some tears for about 24 hours but at least my chest tightness is gone for now. I still have a headache, and I feel physically drained but I don't have the same panic I was feeling yesterday. I'm looking forward to some good sleep tonight. Thank you, thank you, thank you
One thing I also started this morning is to go on a news media black out. The whole world is so fucked up right now, and I tend to be one who can lie in bed all night sleepless over the end of civilization, or a climate apocalypse, or a super-bacteria extinction, or Trump wins the next election and we have to endure this shit for five more years and what's going to happen to democracy, and it goes on and on in my head. No more news for a while. I can't take it. It doesn't help to turn on the news at all.
I deactivated my old Facebook account and created a new account where I do not follow any news/political pages as they were putting me in an angry, sad, anxious mood every day after I'd scroll through my newsfeed. I haven't even been watching the news on television much. Ignorance is bliss.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I was having an okay day until I checked Facebook and saw some guy reply to one of my comments calling me a "potato looking fuck". Extremely hurtful. People always make fun of my appearance.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
So who is this guy and what has he to do with you? What im saying is you are taking the bored nonsence of a stranger as validation that you have some kimd of appearance unlike everyone else Not true. This is harmful toxic environment. Leave it far behind. Please. Its not even real world on those pathetic hate filled apps. Dogs will hunt. People go on those to mock every single thing. Again please don't waste your time on them. My opinion is they are for fake self gratification. Real gratification can be found. Grow food. Paint. Draw. Write. Play guitar. Make something. Learn a trade. All healthy. Try it instead. You are only bringing hate into your soul with these apps
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this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
It was a comment I left about Greta Van Fleet on a music page. I don't know the guy, he's from another city. It happens all the time which is why it gets to me. Probably why I'm still single and have never had a girlfriend. I genuinely do not like the way I look and people on Facebook have made it clear there is something not right with my appearance. I deactivated my old account because of this and started with a new account. Same thing again.
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
It was a comment I left about Greta Van Fleet on a music page. I don't know the guy, he's from another city. It happens all the time which is why it gets to me. Probably why I'm still single and have never had a girlfriend. I genuinely do not like the way I look and people on Facebook have made it clear there is something not right with my appearance. I deactivated my old account because of this and started with a new account. Same thing again.
It was a comment I left about Greta Van Fleet on a music page. I don't know the guy, he's from another city. It happens all the time which is why it gets to me. Probably why I'm still single and have never had a girlfriend. I genuinely do not like the way I look and people on Facebook have made it clear there is something not right with my appearance. I deactivated my old account because of this and started with a new account. Same thing again.
DUMP FACEBOOK, please.
Listen to Rob. He knows stuff.
Or keep it and stop myself from commenting on pages.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
It was a comment I left about Greta Van Fleet on a music page. I don't know the guy, he's from another city. It happens all the time which is why it gets to me. Probably why I'm still single and have never had a girlfriend. I genuinely do not like the way I look and people on Facebook have made it clear there is something not right with my appearance. I deactivated my old account because of this and started with a new account. Same thing again.
DUMP FACEBOOK, please.
Listen to Rob. He knows stuff.
Or keep it and stop myself from commenting on pages.
That could be true, too. No one is my home is on FB so I'm honestly not completely sure how it works. My husband's family lives on FB. Anytime there is a family function (death, notable anniversary) we get crap because we aren't on it. It's okay. We don't care.
Do you need to have a photo of yourself on FB? It is something you are very sensitive about, so I would think you could have a photo of a painting or something else instead. I have done both. I was getting weird messages on Twitter until I posted a photo of me and my husband and locked it down. Pinterest is a photo I took.
Nah, not required. On my old account I changed from having my photo in the profile pic to anything but me because of the nasty comments about my nose, my ears, my hairline etc.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I had one guy on an acrylic painting group randomly leave a nasty comment about my appearance. There was no reason for his comment, I'd never communicated with him and there was no argument going on, it was completely random. I messaged him to ask what he meant and he said it was a mistake which I doubt.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
It was a comment I left about Greta Van Fleet on a music page. I don't know the guy, he's from another city. It happens all the time which is why it gets to me. Probably why I'm still single and have never had a girlfriend. I genuinely do not like the way I look and people on Facebook have made it clear there is something not right with my appearance. I deactivated my old account because of this and started with a new account. Same thing again.
I know what you look like so please trust me when I say you look pefectly normal and fine! Everyone's self-conscious about their looks from time to time or doesn't like a certain aspect of their appearance. You've got to learn to accept and love yourself for who you are. We're all uniquely different - who gets to decide what's beautiful and what isn't?! These lowlife keyboard warriors with their sad little lives just try to feel better about themselves by putting down others. You're not gonna change them. All you can do is learn to ignore them, pity them even.
Once you accept yourself you won't give a damn about spiteful remarks. As long as you don't (and believe me, it can be a long road), stay out of these situations. Get off of FB and social media in general. Stick to real people. Find new people that you connect with through art and whatever. Stop wasting your time online.
Im going fucking insane i cant even begin to explain. I write here not for an answer but because i need to just let it out. I see suicide everywhere atm. Even a dear friend tried it the other week. I live in hell . My sleep is torture. I want peace so badly.
brixton 93
astoria 06
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hartford 06
reading 06
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this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Comments
Hopefully it works. I spent $39 AUD for the bottle.
Thanks. I'd like to get back into weight training so fingers crossed.
I have not gone around my sister's house for a while, my brother in law mentioned that to me today because I had to pick him up from work as he is without a car. I just said I've been busy. I don't feel comfortable telling him it's because of his views.
Going there tonight to drive him home drained me and left me feeling negative.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I am very sorry but also very proud of anyone whom would take a selfless job like this. With that said I had a friend who worked with a women's shelter after she got out of college.
After two years working there and seeing the abuse , rape , child abuse and everything else these poor females went thru she was going thru 2-3 bottles of wine a night because it was her only way to escape the day. I remember talking to her on the phone and her crying and just not know what to do because she felt someone had to be their for these females but that it was too much for her.
So I do applaud everything you do but sometimes you come to a cross roads and realize this may not be for you , if it is causing destructive behavior on your end then in the end it is really not helping anyone. Please don't take that as I think you are weak and cannot do it. Just some jobs take a very certain person and you just may not be a good fit for this.
I wish you the best of luck with everything.
I hope that you are able to get away from that negativity through both exercise and meditation as opposed to medication or liquor. Are there volunteer opportunities available around you? Baby holding at the hospital? Visiting seniors homes to play cards or to talk? Or perhaps establishing a dog-walking side job. I realise that these things require time and energy and might seem like too much on top of the load you’re carrying right now, but I hope you can find something that can give you a little space to heal.
I sincerely hope that you do not lose the light and compassion that lead you into teaching. It is a noble profession despite how it seems to be valued in our society. Having said that, those skills and that compassion can be transferable. Good luck and vent as much and as often as you need here. ((((Hugs))))
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
"Feral" is the perfect word to describe the way these kids behave. There is so much heightened drama in a middle school to begin with, even for "normal" kids, and add in all the stress that this population brings with them. I'm on a roller-coaster emotionally because I know it to be true that so many of them struggle with things no child should have to experience. I started the year with my heart very much where you point me to be. And I know at some point I probably can climb that hill again, and it will be a year of ups and downs if I decide I can stick with it. The good news is that I don't drink much except the social glass of wine, and I only binge-smoke marijuana a few months out of the year. I'm on a break from it now because I'm also trying to quit smoking cigarettes and the weed is a trigger. It's been ten days since my last smoke. I turn 50 in three weeks and I've sworn that 50 is it for the cigarettes. I said 40, too, and 45, and 30 . . . we know how addiction works. But so far, so good. I do know, however, that one puff the magic dragon and I'm on my way to 7-11 for some Marlboro's within the half hour. So, no weed for a while until I figure that out.
One thing I also started this morning is to go on a news media black out. The whole world is so fucked up right now, and I tend to be one who can lie in bed all night sleepless over the end of civilization, or a climate apocalypse, or a super-bacteria extinction, or Trump wins the next election and we have to endure this shit for five more years and what's going to happen to democracy, and it goes on and on in my head. No more news for a while. I can't take it. It doesn't help to turn on the news at all.
Well, thank you again for the hugs and perspective. I've been crying some tears for about 24 hours but at least my chest tightness is gone for now. I still have a headache, and I feel physically drained but I don't have the same panic I was feeling yesterday. I'm looking forward to some good sleep tonight. Thank you, thank you, thank you
Extremely hurtful. People always make fun of my appearance.
What im saying is you are taking the bored nonsence of a stranger as validation that you have some kimd of appearance unlike everyone else
Not true. This is harmful toxic environment. Leave it far behind. Please. Its not even real world on those pathetic hate filled apps.
Dogs will hunt. People go on those to mock every single thing. Again please don't waste your time on them.
My opinion is they are for fake self gratification. Real gratification can be found.
Grow food. Paint. Draw. Write. Play guitar. Make something. Learn a trade. All healthy.
Try it instead. You are only bringing hate into your soul with these apps
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this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I don't know the guy, he's from another city.
It happens all the time which is why it gets to me. Probably why I'm still single and have never had a girlfriend. I genuinely do not like the way I look and people on Facebook have made it clear there is something not right with my appearance.
I deactivated my old account because of this and started with a new account. Same thing again.
Listen to Rob. He knows stuff.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
Do you need to have a photo of yourself on FB? It is something you are very sensitive about, so I would think you could have a photo of a painting or something else instead. I have done both. I was getting weird messages on Twitter until I posted a photo of me and my husband and locked it down. Pinterest is a photo I took.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
On my old account I changed from having my photo in the profile pic to anything but me because of the nasty comments about my nose, my ears, my hairline etc.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
It's like a drug
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
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albany 06
hartford 06
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barcelona 06
paris 06
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dusseldorf 07
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this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I see suicide everywhere atm. Even a dear friend tried it the other week.
I live in hell . My sleep is torture. I want peace so badly.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -