Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Rob, I am so sorry to read you're doing it tough. I'm kind of in the same boat with the despair. I'm on new medication (started taking Effexor XR on Sunday) and I'm finding it rough with the nausea and dizziness and I keep crying. Been in my room the last three days in bed with suicidal ideation and feeling trapped. I don't know if this is because of the medication kicking in or my experience at a job agency on Tuesday. Attending my mandatory appointment (as required by social security so I can get welfare payments) made me feel like shit. I feel like I've wasted 4 years at university as I am being forced to work full time now. I don't know what to do.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Rob, I am so sorry to read you're doing it tough. I'm kind of in the same boat with the despair. I'm on new medication (started taking Effexor XR on Sunday) and I'm finding it rough with the nausea and dizziness and I keep crying. Been in my room the last three days in bed with suicidal ideation and feeling trapped. I don't know if this is because of the medication kicking in or my experience at a job agency on Tuesday. Attending my mandatory appointment (as required by social security so I can get welfare payments) made me feel like shit. I feel like I've wasted 4 years at university as I am being forced to work full time now. I don't know what to do.
I hope you've contacted your doctor. I know medication takes time to work, but you shouldn’t wait if your consumed with suicidal thoughts. Reach out, they’re people waiting to help you. You’re worth it M.
Rob, I am so sorry to read you're doing it tough. I'm kind of in the same boat with the despair. I'm on new medication (started taking Effexor XR on Sunday) and I'm finding it rough with the nausea and dizziness and I keep crying. Been in my room the last three days in bed with suicidal ideation and feeling trapped. I don't know if this is because of the medication kicking in or my experience at a job agency on Tuesday. Attending my mandatory appointment (as required by social security so I can get welfare payments) made me feel like shit. I feel like I've wasted 4 years at university as I am being forced to work full time now. I don't know what to do.
I hope you've contacted your doctor. I know medication takes time to work, but you shouldn’t wait if your consumed with suicidal thoughts. Reach out, they’re people waiting to help you. You’re worth it M.
Thank you for your concern and for the link. I'll chat online to them if it gets worse. I've been scared about these thoughts, I don't want to die. If they persist I'm booking in to see my GP tomorrow. I might ask my pharmacist too. They told me to try tough out the next 2-3 days with the nausea and dizziness, I should have asked about the thoughts. I'm not feeling sick today. I had my capsule not long ago and am feeling a bit clearer and am distracting myself with reading for my university assignment. Yesterday and this morning I was feeling very bad, crying whilst eating breakfast and in the shower, now it's gone away and I feel a bit better, maybe because I took my capsule. If these thoughts get worse I'll definitely see my GP or use that service.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I feel so trapped and disappointed. I have spent 4 years at university and graduate this year if I pass this final subject. I have no motivation to go on to do further studies and my growing debt is making me anxious. I don't know what to do. I've been devastated because I feel I've wasted 4 years of my life and accrued a debt for nothing. I cannot go on living like this. I need to find a career using what I've studied so far. I need a regular income, I need to move out of home and make my own life away from my parents. I need freedom. I need to be someone a woman would want to date.
I feel like I will never find my purpose in life. I feel like I will never find a career that is right for me. I feel lost. I feel confused.
The social security are forcing me to look for full time work. I told them relentless bullying has impacted my mental health and I am fearful and dreading going back to working knowing I'll be targeted again because every job I have had I've been bullied. I went back to university so I don't have to work in such environments again. They told me to use my GP's medical certificate and ask the social security agency to put me through a mental health assessment to see if I qualify for unfit to work status. I don't want to be bullied again, it's destroyed my confidence and mental health further than it was already destroyed.
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
No way m. Its not about focus on me. Stay here its for all of us. Meds do have that effect. Its a tough one to advise on . The start up is as rough as the taper off . Im not a great advocate of meds but who am i. Ive become an addict so its all drugs
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I too had another medical assesment and the lady bless her stopped the interview and said i dont have to ask anymore questions. I was destressed so much so that she took me out the back way to avoid others seeing me. They are always so sad they focus on what you can no longer do. I believe you are at a point of real enlightenment and this is where you will turn it all around. You are actively making changes. Keep going my dear friend.
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I've been depressed and on medication for years, please don't question what I've been diagnosed with by a number of mental health professionals. It's attitudes like yours "are you really depressed?" that makes people scared to admit they have a problem and seek help. Your toughen up and get on with it attitude does not work well for those with depression/anxiety or other mental conditions. Have you thought that it is their illness that stops them from doing that? Do you think I'd choose to live like this?
What they are asking is unreasonable given my history and the fact that I won't be able to study full time and work full time. For your info, I said I am willing to work part time shifts on weekends whilst studying. Yeah no worries about my health, just go and get back to full time work without having addressed your anxiety about returning to work first by seeing a psychologist.
I'm glad to know you don't care (and perhaps others here) that relentless bullying at every job I've had has impacted my self-esteem, confidence and made me scared to go back. You don't fucking know, have you been called a faggot, asked if you have sucked a cock last night, picked on for being gay (even though I am not), been physically intimidated, stared at all the time, harassed, called stupid etc. You don't know my work history.
And I will not suddenly stop taking medications without guidance from my GP, you do not suddenly stop antidepressants, you're meant to slowly taper off them as directed. Doing what you suggested is harmful. Don't give advice where you are not qualified to do so.
Good for you that you did not need antidepressants. Don't you fucking dare call me lazy. Have you ever thought that it is because of my depression and anxiety that I struggle to "put in the hard work to win the battle". It robs you of hope and makes you see things in a negative light. You obviously have no idea what it is like. If I was lazy I would not have spent the past 4 years working hard at university and achieving high grades.
I'm pretty pissed off at some of the things in your post.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I've been depressed and on medication for years, please don't question what I've been diagnosed with by a number of mental health professionals. It's attitudes like yours "are you really depressed?" that makes people scared to admit they have a problem and seek help. Your toughen up and get on with it attitude does not work well for those with depression/anxiety or other mental conditions. Have you thought that it is their illness that stops them from doing that? Do you think I'd choose to live like this?
What they are asking is unreasonable given my history and the fact that I won't be able to study full time and work full time. For your info, I said I am willing to work part time shifts on weekends whilst studying. Yeah no worries about my health, just go and get back to full time work without having addressed your anxiety about returning to work first by seeing a psychologist.
I'm glad to know you don't care (and perhaps others here) that relentless bullying at every job I've had has impacted my self-esteem, confidence and made me scared to go back. You don't fucking know, have you been called a faggot, asked if you have sucked a cock last night, picked on for being gay (even though I am not), been physically intimidated, stared at all the time, harassed, called stupid etc. You don't know my work history.
And I will not suddenly stop taking medications without guidance from my GP, you do not suddenly stop antidepressants, you're meant to slowly taper off them as directed. Doing what you suggested is harmful. Don't give advice where you are not qualified to do so.
Good for you that you did not need antidepressants. Don't you fucking dare call me lazy. Have you ever thought that it is because of my depression and anxiety that I struggle to "put in the hard work to win the battle". It robs you of hope and makes you see things in a negative light. You obviously have no idea what it is like. If I was lazy I would not have spent the past 4 years working hard at university and achieving high grades.
I'm pretty pissed off at some of the things in your post.
Ignore him. seriously, don't even respond. he is of no help to anyone here.
Like we have all asked before . Do not get my thread shutdown. Have respect. T.A perfectly written my good man. I dont know but some folk call bad times or a shit period depression. Depression is not just lifes ups and downs. I hold my tongue on here but i really want to be mouthy because in real life i can be sometimes. SAFE place as rgambs rightly says. Please respect that
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
[ personal attack removed] I know this has already been said I know there are rules on this board for kindness , it say "safe place for anxiety suffers" not "we are going to shit on you and assume we know everything about you"
Your facts are bullshit to start.
I am not going to respond anymore to your post.
"Thoughts Arrived"
I don't want to assume anything and I am at work so if I missed that you said this please forgive me but have you seen a therapist to talk about the past bullying? Bullying can happen in so many forms and so many ways I would never ask you to tell the details but thru therapy you may be able to slowly peel away at the long lasting effects it seems to have on you.
On top of that living at home and feeling like you cannot find a partner is something that will only keep getting you down. For that I don't have a ton of advance. In the United States when we had our big economic downturn in 2007. I had lost my job and was unemployed for almost three years. It was some of the hardest times of my life. You wake up with I don't have a job and go to bed with I don't have a job. I was on unemployment and although that did not cover everything it greatly helped and because of the downturn in the economy they extended unemployment benefits for 99 weeks.
Please know it will get better , during those three years I saw no hope at the end of the tunnel , I have now been at my job for 8 years , got married , bought a house and look back at that time as a very dark period. Still to this day I have a fear of my company just going under or another recession that leads to mass layoff's. My therapist and I worked thru this for years and I am finally starting to feel comfortable.
"LastExit"
My heart breaks for you and I offer you all my thoughts that their are so many people even just on this board whom care deeply about you. I am glad your kids have kept you going , that said you are not a burden to them. You being there is better than you not being there.
I wish I had more advice for you I really do, just know you are loved and people care about you. Also anyone can feel free to DM me , I typical check the board during the week and not the weekend.
Discuss, disagree and debate politely. It's possible to disagree with people without being abusive, and it's a requirement here. This includes abusive Private Messages. If you have a disagreement with someone, (and it happens occasionally) please take it to Private Message to resolve it. Arguments are removed or locked...it poisons the atmosphere.
Please stop derailing topic integrity with personal arguments. If you cannot get along with someone put them on ignore or don’t respond to their posts. There is never an excuse for name calling or personally attacking another member. Please be kind to each other. Thank you. https://community.pearljam.com/discussion/228366/forum-posting-guidelines
Post edited by Sea on
0
Options
hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Discuss, disagree and debate politely. It's possible to disagree with people without being abusive, and it's a requirement here. This includes abusive Private Messages. If you have a disagreement with someone, (and it happens occasionally) please take it to Private Message to resolve it. Arguments are removed or locked...it poisons the atmosphere.
Please stop derailing topic integrity with personal arguments. If you cannot get along with someone put them on ignore or don’t respond to their posts. There is never an excuse for name calling or personally attacking another member. Please be kind to each other. Thank you. https://community.pearljam.com/discussion/228366/forum-posting-guidelines
I just woke up and checked this thread, I am saddened to see one of our kind, long-time members banned. I really hope rgambs did not get a permanent ban? I don't know what was said as everything has been deleted.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
[ personal attack removed] I know this has already been said I know there are rules on this board for kindness , it say "safe place for anxiety suffers" not "we are going to shit on you and assume we know everything about you"
Your facts are bullshit to start.
I am not going to respond anymore to your post.
"Thoughts Arrived"
I don't want to assume anything and I am at work so if I missed that you said this please forgive me but have you seen a therapist to talk about the past bullying? Bullying can happen in so many forms and so many ways I would never ask you to tell the details but thru therapy you may be able to slowly peel away at the long lasting effects it seems to have on you.
On top of that living at home and feeling like you cannot find a partner is something that will only keep getting you down. For that I don't have a ton of advance. In the United States when we had our big economic downturn in 2007. I had lost my job and was unemployed for almost three years. It was some of the hardest times of my life. You wake up with I don't have a job and go to bed with I don't have a job. I was on unemployment and although that did not cover everything it greatly helped and because of the downturn in the economy they extended unemployment benefits for 99 weeks.
Please know it will get better , during those three years I saw no hope at the end of the tunnel , I have now been at my job for 8 years , got married , bought a house and look back at that time as a very dark period. Still to this day I have a fear of my company just going under or another recession that leads to mass layoff's. My therapist and I worked thru this for years and I am finally starting to feel comfortable.
"LastExit"
My heart breaks for you and I offer you all my thoughts that their are so many people even just on this board whom care deeply about you. I am glad your kids have kept you going , that said you are not a burden to them. You being there is better than you not being there.
I wish I had more advice for you I really do, just know you are loved and people care about you. Also anyone can feel free to DM me , I typical check the board during the week and not the weekend.
Hey Matts, I appreciate your reply.
I saw a new psychologist for the first time a few weeks ago and mentioned this on top of all the other issues. He seemed like he did not know where to begin with all the problems I vented at him. I might ask him to focus on that for now. I regret not taking legal action against these asshole employers. Imagine being bullied then being fired because you don't fit in with the team, it's like victim blaming. It's left me bitter at the world and hate myself for being bullied.
My best friend suggested perhaps it's time to get back to working to give me some perspective. Plus I could hopefully move out of home. Living with elderly parents is sad. But giving up studying to become a psychologist is hurting me right now. I thought I had a career sorted.
Yeah knowing I don't have much going right is hard to bear. At the moment I am struggling really bad and breaking down in tears because I worked so hard to get the grades to be accepted into an Honours year at university. It feels like it was all for nothing and it has left me with a 25k debt to pay off and for what?. Every Master's degree is so expensive, be it psychology, counselling or art therapy, like 30k-40k. I cannot get over the anxiety this is giving me, I was already 12k in debt when I went back to university. Now my debt is around 25k. On top of my home mortgage.
I'm thinking of doing a pHD as it is paid for by the university. I'd only have to spend 8k more on Honours and work hard to get the grades to be accepted into a pHD. I've been interested in an academic role, doing research and teaching at university. But right now my motivation to study is not there. I managed to struggle through working on my assignment yesterday all day and night as I am behind due to being unwell. Another thing, academic roles at universities are not permanent, a lot of pHD students and those with their pHD's are not on a permanent contract, they're pretty much working poor from what I hear. So there's no job security. Another thing that makes me feel stuck. I feel so trapped and like the walls are closing in around me and I am drowning and panicking.
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Comments
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I'm kind of in the same boat with the despair.
I'm on new medication (started taking Effexor XR on Sunday) and I'm finding it rough with the nausea and dizziness and I keep crying.
Been in my room the last three days in bed with suicidal ideation and feeling trapped.
I don't know if this is because of the medication kicking in or my experience at a job agency on Tuesday.
Attending my mandatory appointment (as required by social security so I can get welfare payments) made me feel like shit.
I feel like I've wasted 4 years at university as I am being forced to work full time now.
I don't know what to do.
https://www.suicideline.org.au/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMInKGvwfj-5AIVhspkCh3oXw3ZEAAYASAAEgIdXPD_BwE
I've been scared about these thoughts, I don't want to die.
If they persist I'm booking in to see my GP tomorrow.
I might ask my pharmacist too. They told me to try tough out the next 2-3 days with the nausea and dizziness, I should have asked about the thoughts. I'm not feeling sick today. I had my capsule not long ago and am feeling a bit clearer and am distracting myself with reading for my university assignment. Yesterday and this morning I was feeling very bad, crying whilst eating breakfast and in the shower, now it's gone away and I feel a bit better, maybe because I took my capsule. If these thoughts get worse I'll definitely see my GP or use that service.
I have no motivation to go on to do further studies and my growing debt is making me anxious.
I don't know what to do. I've been devastated because I feel I've wasted 4 years of my life and accrued a debt for nothing.
I cannot go on living like this. I need to find a career using what I've studied so far. I need a regular income, I need to move out of home and make my own life away from my parents. I need freedom. I need to be someone a woman would want to date.
I feel like I will never find my purpose in life. I feel like I will never find a career that is right for me.
I feel lost. I feel confused.
The social security are forcing me to look for full time work.
I told them relentless bullying has impacted my mental health and I am fearful and dreading going back to working knowing I'll be targeted again because every job I have had I've been bullied. I went back to university so I don't have to work in such environments again.
They told me to use my GP's medical certificate and ask the social security agency to put me through a mental health assessment to see if I qualify for unfit to work status. I don't want to be bullied again, it's destroyed my confidence and mental health further than it was already destroyed.
I'm more than happy to start a thread for depression sufferers.
Stay here its for all of us. Meds do have that effect. Its a tough one to advise on . The start up is as rough as the taper off . Im not a great advocate of meds but who am i. Ive become an addict so its all drugs
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Rob, I send you strength, keep fighting bud.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
What they are asking is unreasonable given my history and the fact that I won't be able to study full time and work full time. For your info, I said I am willing to work part time shifts on weekends whilst studying. Yeah no worries about my health, just go and get back to full time work without having addressed your anxiety about returning to work first by seeing a psychologist.
I'm glad to know you don't care (and perhaps others here) that relentless bullying at every job I've had has impacted my self-esteem, confidence and made me scared to go back. You don't fucking know, have you been called a faggot, asked if you have sucked a cock last night, picked on for being gay (even though I am not), been physically intimidated, stared at all the time, harassed, called stupid etc. You don't know my work history.
And I will not suddenly stop taking medications without guidance from my GP, you do not suddenly stop antidepressants, you're meant to slowly taper off them as directed. Doing what you suggested is harmful. Don't give advice where you are not qualified to do so.
Good for you that you did not need antidepressants. Don't you fucking dare call me lazy. Have you ever thought that it is because of my depression and anxiety that I struggle to "put in the hard work to win the battle". It robs you of hope and makes you see things in a negative light. You obviously have no idea what it is like. If I was lazy I would not have spent the past 4 years working hard at university and achieving high grades.
I'm pretty pissed off at some of the things in your post.
www.headstonesband.com
www.headstonesband.com
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
[ personal attack removed] I know this has already been said I know there are rules on this board for kindness , it say "safe place for anxiety suffers" not "we are going to shit on you and assume we know everything about you"
Your facts are bullshit to start.
I am not going to respond anymore to your post.
"Thoughts Arrived"
I don't want to assume anything and I am at work so if I missed that you said this please forgive me but have you seen a therapist to talk about the past bullying? Bullying can happen in so many forms and so many ways I would never ask you to tell the details but thru therapy you may be able to slowly peel away at the long lasting effects it seems to have on you.
On top of that living at home and feeling like you cannot find a partner is something that will only keep getting you down. For that I don't have a ton of advance. In the United States when we had our big economic downturn in 2007. I had lost my job and was unemployed for almost three years. It was some of the hardest times of my life. You wake up with I don't have a job and go to bed with I don't have a job. I was on unemployment and although that did not cover everything it greatly helped and because of the downturn in the economy they extended unemployment benefits for 99 weeks.
Please know it will get better , during those three years I saw no hope at the end of the tunnel , I have now been at my job for 8 years , got married , bought a house and look back at that time as a very dark period. Still to this day I have a fear of my company just going under or another recession that leads to mass layoff's. My therapist and I worked thru this for years and I am finally starting to feel comfortable.
"LastExit"
My heart breaks for you and I offer you all my thoughts that their are so many people even just on this board whom care deeply about you. I am glad your kids have kept you going , that said you are not a burden to them. You being there is better than you not being there.
I wish I had more advice for you I really do, just know you are loved and people care about you. Also anyone can feel free to DM me , I typical check the board during the week and not the weekend.
Please be kind to each other. Thank you.
https://community.pearljam.com/discussion/228366/forum-posting-guidelines
Really though, nice to see this re-opened.
Hang in there, guys.
www.headstonesband.com
I saw a new psychologist for the first time a few weeks ago and mentioned this on top of all the other issues. He seemed like he did not know where to begin with all the problems I vented at him. I might ask him to focus on that for now. I regret not taking legal action against these asshole employers. Imagine being bullied then being fired because you don't fit in with the team, it's like victim blaming. It's left me bitter at the world and hate myself for being bullied.
My best friend suggested perhaps it's time to get back to working to give me some perspective. Plus I could hopefully move out of home. Living with elderly parents is sad. But giving up studying to become a psychologist is hurting me right now. I thought I had a career sorted.
Yeah knowing I don't have much going right is hard to bear.
At the moment I am struggling really bad and breaking down in tears because I worked so hard to get the grades to be accepted into an Honours year at university. It feels like it was all for nothing and it has left me with a 25k debt to pay off and for what?. Every Master's degree is so expensive, be it psychology, counselling or art therapy, like 30k-40k. I cannot get over the anxiety this is giving me, I was already 12k in debt when I went back to university. Now my debt is around 25k. On top of my home mortgage.
I'm thinking of doing a pHD as it is paid for by the university. I'd only have to spend 8k more on Honours and work hard to get the grades to be accepted into a pHD. I've been interested in an academic role, doing research and teaching at university. But right now my motivation to study is not there. I managed to struggle through working on my assignment yesterday all day and night as I am behind due to being unwell. Another thing, academic roles at universities are not permanent, a lot of pHD students and those with their pHD's are not on a permanent contract, they're pretty much working poor from what I hear. So there's no job security. Another thing that makes me feel stuck.
I feel so trapped and like the walls are closing in around me and I am drowning and panicking.