A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,201
    Matts3221 said:
    Matts3221 said:

    Just having a rough day today for some reason and I feel like typing it here just helps , just feeling so overwhelmed with life , work . Feeling sad and anxious for some reason and cannot shake it. just wanted to cry earlier today.

    I think it is just I have a lot going on with work and travel for work ( I hate traveling for work ) I guess I feel more safe when I know I can be home at night ( I know that sounds silly )

    Our dumb brains , I feel great some days and today I wish I could just crawl into bed and sleep for the next 18 hours.

    Sorry to be a downer just thought maybe typing it out would get it off my chest.

    A) do what helps you without apology
    B.) it does not sound silly. we all know the feeling. believe me. travel is a BIG trigger for me anxiety-wise.
    C) I wanted to do nothing but sleep 24/7 until I finally got help. 
    D) you are not a downer. post anytime you wish. if it helps, do it. that's what this thread is for. pm me if it's easier to do that. 


    Honestly these four points helped so very much. Glad there is a place to talk about stuff like this. I am lucky to have gotten help many years ago and go thru years of therapy and still practice mediation , seeing a therapist , meds ect. Just some days it can feel very overwhelming.

    Thank you for the kind words they put a smile on my face.

    I get it. I know. I'm so glad I could be of help. :) 
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,863
    Yeah I hated work travel. Always made me anxious. Hated the whole corporate life I felt trapped in.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 5,967
    Matts3221 said:

    Just having a rough day today for some reason and I feel like typing it here just helps , just feeling so overwhelmed with life , work . Feeling sad and anxious for some reason and cannot shake it. just wanted to cry earlier today.

    I think it is just I have a lot going on with work and travel for work ( I hate traveling for work ) I guess I feel more safe when I know I can be home at night ( I know that sounds silly )

    Our dumb brains , I feel great some days and today I wish I could just crawl into bed and sleep for the next 18 hours.

    Sorry to be a downer just thought maybe typing it out would get it off my chest.

    A) do what helps you without apology
    B.) it does not sound silly. we all know the feeling. believe me. travel is a BIG trigger for me anxiety-wise.
    C) I wanted to do nothing but sleep 24/7 until I finally got help. 
    D) you are not a downer. post anytime you wish. if it helps, do it. that's what this thread is for. pm me if it's easier to do that. 
    Excellent points HFD.  I too have huge anxiety over the logistics of travelling.  Matts, I hope your day improved.  (((Hugs)))
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 100

    Thank you all so very much for your kind words , I am feeling great today.

    It was a quick trip just overnight , fly from Boston to Orlando for a one day meeting and then flew back the next day.

    This board has been a huge help and honestly a little weight is lifted off my wife whom is 100% supportive of me but to take anything off her hands was great.

    At work but in my home office and looking forward to the weekend. I am always here for anyone as well if you need to DM me.

    Love you all and I truly mean that.

  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,201
    Matts3221 said:

    Thank you all so very much for your kind words , I am feeling great today.

    It was a quick trip just overnight , fly from Boston to Orlando for a one day meeting and then flew back the next day.

    This board has been a huge help and honestly a little weight is lifted off my wife whom is 100% supportive of me but to take anything off her hands was great.

    At work but in my home office and looking forward to the weekend. I am always here for anyone as well if you need to DM me.

    Love you all and I truly mean that.

    excellent to hear! cheers!
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 12,230
    Panic attacks suck, having general anxiety about the possibility of having a panic attack sucks too.
    Having to hide both sucks worse than either.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,201
    rgambs said:
    Panic attacks suck, having general anxiety about the possibility of having a panic attack sucks too.
    Having to hide both sucks worse than either.
    more exhausting than any physical exercise. I was tired AF for 2 years straight from putting on my smiley face at work and social functions. 
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 12,230
    I'm better off in public.  It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety.  It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
    She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety.  Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers.  It's rather convoluted, I suppose.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 100
    rgambs said:
    I'm better off in public.  It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety.  It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
    She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety.  Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers.  It's rather convoluted, I suppose.


    Different for everyone , my wife suffers from depression and anxiety as well. I don't think there is ever a permeant fix on the issue just getting better at stagies to keep it more under control.

    My wife says she can see it in my eyes , she will then have me take my meds , make me a cup of tea and I will just lay down for an hour till my anti anxiety meds kick in.

    I know everyone deals differently I find , therapist , exercise , medication , writing  all as different tools to use.


    The more tools in your toolbox ( as my therapist says ) can be helpful.

    I am sure if you told your wife this fear my hope would be she would tell you , that you are being silly and can always be honest around her.

  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,201
    rgambs said:
    I'm better off in public.  It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety.  It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
    She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety.  Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers.  It's rather convoluted, I suppose.
    how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable. 
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 12,230
    rgambs said:
    I'm better off in public.  It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety.  It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
    She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety.  Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers.  It's rather convoluted, I suppose.
    how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable. 
    She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more.  But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it.  So I hide it and she has no clue so far.  No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety.  Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 100
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    I'm better off in public.  It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety.  It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
    She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety.  Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers.  It's rather convoluted, I suppose.
    how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable. 
    She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more.  But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it.  So I hide it and she has no clue so far.  No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety.  Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.


    Please know I am not arguing at all with what you are saying but I don't think you can "will away" a mental disorder , again you can work at it and maybe go that long but I don't feel there is a cure.

    I don't think hiding it from her is a good idea either , I feel it would be an issue later down the road if you start to resent that you are hiding it.

    The grips a having constant panic attacks is that you worry about the next one and that can bring it on , I in no way am telling you what to do but this is your wife not someone you have dated for a few months , I would have an open and honest conversation about what is going on.

    Best of luck with everything

  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 12,230
    I'm fortunate to be dealing with anxiety so mild that I am worried about the unlikely possibility that I might someday need meds.

    Keep your heads up folks, life is still beautiful and worth living for all of us!
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,201
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    I'm better off in public.  It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety.  It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
    She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety.  Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers.  It's rather convoluted, I suppose.
    how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable. 
    She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more.  But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it.  So I hide it and she has no clue so far.  No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety.  Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.
    I don't know if I'd classify it as true anxiety if she could just will it away. no disrespect to her or you, but that doesn't sound real to me. 
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 12,230
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    I'm better off in public.  It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety.  It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
    She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety.  Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers.  It's rather convoluted, I suppose.
    how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable. 
    She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more.  But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it.  So I hide it and she has no clue so far.  No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety.  Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.
    I don't know if I'd classify it as true anxiety if she could just will it away. no disrespect to her or you, but that doesn't sound real to me. 
    I've known a few people who have dealt with regular panic attacks and come out the other side.  Obviously there's always a chance of dealing with it again, but minor anxiety can be beaten by the same strength of will that keeps major anxiety from consuming.  We are just lucky to be dealing with less severe anxiety.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,201
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    I'm better off in public.  It may seem crazy, but the primary driver for my anxiety is the possibility that my wife will know I have anxiety.  It's as if I need to feign invulnerability or I will open myself to vulnerability I can't handle.
    She eradicated anxiety many years ago, and through that process I learned how to become anxious in response to her anxiety.  Now hers is gone and I'm terrified that mine (which stems from hers) will regenerate hers.  It's rather convoluted, I suppose.
    how does one go about eradicating their anxiety? everything I've read points to it being manageable, but not curable. 
    She willed it away and hasn't had a panic attack in a decade or more.  But, yeah, I still worry that I can make it come back in the same sort of transference that caused me to get it.  So I hide it and she has no clue so far.  No panic attacks for a few weeks no close calls either, but a higher level of that daily nagging back of the mind variety.  Easier to deal with, but makes me worry more that it won't soon go away like happened in my past bout.
    I don't know if I'd classify it as true anxiety if she could just will it away. no disrespect to her or you, but that doesn't sound real to me. 
    I've known a few people who have dealt with regular panic attacks and come out the other side.  Obviously there's always a chance of dealing with it again, but minor anxiety can be beaten by the same strength of will that keeps major anxiety from consuming.  We are just lucky to be dealing with less severe anxiety.
    gotcha. 
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,260
    Anxiety is beatable.  Anxiety will not be beaten by a pill alone.  Anxiety free for a year. 
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,863
    The empty lonely feelings won't go away. And when they do it's temporary.
    My life is spent being glued to the phone.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Only you cam change  that and you must
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 19,955
    Only you cam change  that and you must
    Agreed.

    You know you have a problem, and while (part of?) it can be solved through simple steps on your end - and help is available if needed - you repeatedly choose not to do anything to help yourself.  Shit, just common sense stuff:  turn it off when sleeping, designate non-phone time, find outside interests that build you up instead of looking to others to do that for you.

    Hold yourself accountable to yourself.  It doesn't bring you down; actually, it can have the opposite effect.
  • These  are wise words from an experienced  man
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 19,955
    These  are wise words from an experienced  man
    Woman ;)

    And thank you. Just my two cents. 
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,863
    I tried to play guitar and read a book yesterday but couldn't motivate myself.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,201
    I tried to play guitar and read a book yesterday but couldn't motivate myself.
    being creative was by far the hardest thing to try to do when i was depressed or anxious. i always assumed the best art was made by people in those states. not me. i can when i am out of that state and am able to piece it together to write about it, but not while i'm in the throes of it. even just playing guitar or bass without writing anything, couldn't do it. 
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • Its 4.41a.m the  loneliest time. I wake confussed everyday and still its a shock. 
    My dr says i dont have an organic brain problem.  
    And he has said that for 2 years. Im worsening and im lonely in my pain. 
    No point wishing  anymore. 
    I do not believe him. I know how it feels to be anxious i tell him every  visit but he says what i have is much worse than the diseases i believe. He says i have a chronic psychiatric illness . No meds work. No more help available im just left to live in a hell i cant fix.
    Im too scared to kill myself but i have the 24hr despair of watching myself fail and lose what i held so dear, My sanity, my mind and my memories.  I now spend all my time in my room. I cant do anything or get any help. 
    I just had to write somewhere i know  there  is no answer. 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 5,967
    Rob, is it possible to see another doctor or to check yourself into care?  Loss of confidence or faith in your healthcare provider could exacerbate your negative feelings.  It seems that he has washed his hands of assisting you in a meaningful way.  Perhaps a fresh go would be helpful.  Sending you much love(((((💓)))))
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • Im so glad someone is here thank you.
    He is a good man and ive got a great relationship with him. 
    Its tough because he looks at me every  3 weeks. And its me its not him. If something  more  is wrong he would  know a dr for over 35 years.  Now this is a rational statement but my symptoms don't  fit anxiety for me but he says  it is.  And he asks me questions and i answer. 
    I try every  visit to explain better about my confusion and memory.  Im only 44 . Ffs . One part of me says over and over. It can't  be a degenerate condition but the way it is is so distressing.  My lady and my mum and my friend all say its not what i think. But hpw can i prove to my sick self. Im so distressed  i dont  know what to do.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • All my dr can do is reassure me but in the case of health anxiety its said that it doesnt  work. But its all i have.you see i have 4 children. And i can't  tell you how they have kept me alive but  im feeling more harm than good comes  from me . Im an alien. I lost everything. People can't  deal with me and i dont want to hurt  anyone i never have.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • If my dr is sure then i should be too. 
    Thats what a normal person would say
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 5,967
    Arrrrgh!  Stupid quote function!


    @lastexitlondon

    Rob, I’m glad that you feel that the doctor-patient relationship isn’t broken.  

    A page back in this thread, on 13 September, njnancy had some amazing wisdom to share with you.  I’m going to quote it for you as her points might be useful for your situation.







    njnancy said:
    Rob, @lastexitlondon

    I think that going into a hospital for treatment would be exactly what you need . You are not letting your kids down. You are going to get help for an illness, if you were having constant heart problems,  you wouldn't think twice about getting into a hospital. When anxiety & depression are major & not just situational  you need to take it as seriously as any other disease.

    I've been in psych wards & the feeling of relief once you are settled in &know you will get help without the noise of everything else is incredibly freeing. But you still need to work to be diagnosed & find what works with you .

    Tell them about your substance use so they can treat  any negative effects the first couple of days. That's important, they need to see you free of any thing you use to alleviate the intense pain. It sounds like you may be having a nervous breakdown,  or what they call a major depressive disorder now. Either way, when you can no longer cope it's time to reach out. You are teaching your kids that there is no shame in getting help. They can learn that disorders of the brain are no worse than other illnesses. And if it happens to them some day, they can look at your strength as an example.

    I so hope you are in the hospital or getting ready to go. You are worthy of happiness and reaching out here shows you  really want to be better and not to harm yourself.

    I've been where you are & I know the confusion,  but it saved my life.



    I may be going into the hospital to deal with my trauma $ PTSD. I'm not getting better & it's time to think of me & my future. I have no support & I have no ability to cope with my situation.  I can't help others when I'm a mess. I keep feeling the hurt & betrayal & I need to help myself.  It's not weak, its brave. Just need to find the energy to find a place 

    I told you I would believe in you until you believed in yourself & that is a promise I will never break. I really hope you have made good decisions,  just do it , please .❤




    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
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