A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    Thanks dude.
    I am confused with whether or not they are working. Like, would I be worse without them? 
    do you recall being worse or the same prior to taking the meds? are you on a low, dose, medium, or high?
    Worse beforehand. They've helped. But I just feel they've stopped working as this whole year has been rough.
    30mg, medium?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    I just finished my daily workout. It's hard to get motivated to do it but I manage to get on my bike and feel better afterwards, if not only for a short time. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,180
    You need to make changes in your life.  Have you thought of moving out and getting a job.  Being responsible for self would be a good start.  I left home at 22 and would never move back home no matter what.  Family can drive you bat shit crazy.  I know mine and they still do
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    I applied for 2 jobs recently and got rejected. It's hard to get back into the workforce, my confidence is shot after pretty bad bullying in my last job and bullying before that in other jobs. Need to balance it with university studies which are intense, especially next year. I feel trapped. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    So I got prescribed a different class of drug which I am anxious to swap to but feel I need to as the other one's have stopped working.
    I hope I don't suffer any bad side effects.
    I can get free psychologist sessions at my local GP clinic which I'll attend.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,180
    To be honest you come here with your problems and refuse to take peoples advice.  Why is that?  All people can do is offer advice.  It is up to you to get your life in gear.  I believe you said you are in your 30’s.  We all get rejected from jobs.  You gotta keep trying.  I retired and am now back to work.  I went to be around other people... yes work can be social. 
    Do not mistake bullying at work for frustration.  Work can be frustrating.  But life is frustrating at times.  And living at home at your age is part of the problem.  Are afraid of the real world?


  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    Just learned one of my best friends is going through a very tough time due to a lot going on in life and is struggling to hold it together emotionally.
    I feel so worried about him and trying to give him the best words of support I can.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    To be honest you come here with your problems and refuse to take peoples advice.  Why is that?  All people can do is offer advice.  It is up to you to get your life in gear.  I believe you said you are in your 30’s.  We all get rejected from jobs.  You gotta keep trying.  I retired and am now back to work.  I went to be around other people... yes work can be social. 
    Do not mistake bullying at work for frustration.  Work can be frustrating.  But life is frustrating at times.  And living at home at your age is part of the problem.  Are afraid of the real world?


    Because it all feels overwhelming and anxiety provoking.
    I don't know where to start and how to cope.
    It sure wasn't frustration, it was bullying. Mocking me for things about me. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Sorry to just pop up . I have to write here  i cant stop crying and i feel the end is near. My mum says to go to hospital  but im scared of the repercussions on my kids if they keep me there.  I cant go on . Nothing works . Nothing. 
    Hey T.A you are a good soul. Never ever forget that amd in the end that  is all that  counts  in this world of asshats. I can promise you will rise and fly as soon as you let go. Just  let go of your family of your insecurities.  Remember ive seen you  and you are a normal  guy . And life is there outside of your enclosed world. Travel . If one thing pearl jam did for me is they got me to many countries in europe and i met friends for life that are my family. Love to all of you here. I mean that. Love
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    Sorry to just pop up . I have to write here  i cant stop crying and i feel the end is near. My mum says to go to hospital  but im scared of the repercussions on my kids if they keep me there.  I cant go on . Nothing works . Nothing. 
    Hey T.A you are a good soul. Never ever forget that amd in the end that  is all that  counts  in this world of asshats. I can promise you will rise and fly as soon as you let go. Just  let go of your family of your insecurities.  Remember ive seen you  and you are a normal  guy . And life is there outside of your enclosed world. Travel . If one thing pearl jam did for me is they got me to many countries in europe and i met friends for life that are my family. Love to all of you here. I mean that. Love
    Hey Rob,
    So sorry to read about how you're feeling and thank you for your kind words.
    Sadly, I may look okay on the outside but on the inside it's different.

    May I ask, what repercussions you are scared of?
    It should be seen as a positive, that you're working on your mental recovery.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,180
    To be honest you come here with your problems and refuse to take peoples advice.  Why is that?  All people can do is offer advice.  It is up to you to get your life in gear.  I believe you said you are in your 30’s.  We all get rejected from jobs.  You gotta keep trying.  I retired and am now back to work.  I went to be around other people... yes work can be social. 
    Do not mistake bullying at work for frustration.  Work can be frustrating.  But life is frustrating at times.  And living at home at your age is part of the problem.  Are afraid of the real world?


    Because it all feels overwhelming and anxiety provoking.
    I don't know where to start and how to cope.
    It sure wasn't frustration, it was bullying. Mocking me for things about me. 
    You will never find life perfect.  Most companies have anti-bullying policies in place.  Just because one place had a couple of dicks doesn't mean all workplaces are like that.  I suffered from severe anxiety and I showed up to work every day at the job I retired from and I worked with some morons.  You have to learn to cope.  I started a new job a little over two weeks.  I had some anxiety until I got and found everyone to be welcoming and helpful...now I went there with-open mind.  Jobs can be frustrating, especially new jobs.  I was frustrated last Thursday at work...my supervisor and I had a heated discussion...by the end of my shift we had talked out, fixed the problem and have moved on.

    Do you plan on living at home forever?  

    Do like school because so you do not have to face the real world?

    Just so you know I am not criticizing you.   Until you move out and find some employment you will have trouble meeting girls.  At your age and the age of the woman, you want to date usually want their man to have their together.  They do not want you taking them to your parents because that's where you live.

    Everyone is just trying to help.  But at some point, you have to try.  What do you get to lose from trying, you may fail.  On the other hand, you may succeed.

    Every day when I come home from, I spark one up getting stoned, get a solid 7 hours sleep and off to work.

    Find something to relax you.  I found out mindfulness and all those so-called relaxing things useless.  I'd rather smoke a joint go to bed to bed with a clear head.  Find something to clear your thoughts.  For me its weed.  Weeds not for everybody.  

    The reason I went back to work is that I am getting a divorce.  Sometime I would pout all-day about the marital breakdown.  Best thing I ever did.  Within 2 months of my marriage ending my anxiety level dropped in 1/2 at least, and enough to trust weed would kick anxiety ass.  I went off the anxiety and depression meds...I tell you this because just like my marriage was causing me anxiety, you living with parents that you are unhappy may be a source of your anxiety...or some it.  Some parents are just not what we all hope.  There is no Brady Bunch family.  

    We have no choice who our family is.  My father is far from perfect, says things I sometimes do not like...I also have to accept that in the era he grew things were much different than they are today.  I am sure as hell not going to worry about what an 85-year-old man has to say.  I just let it go.  You need to try this.  And quit arguing with people on facebook.  Facebook is dumpster fire...and Zuckerbook is fucking clueless.  He can turn those comment sections off which I prefer.




  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    Thanks for taking the time out of your day to type all that, appreciate it. I don't think you are criticising.
    I agree with everything you said. Especially the women part. I don't want to date because of my situation. I don't try. 
    With the work thing, it's been at every job that I've been bullied and management didn't really come down hard on the offenders. I disagree with where you said I need to learn to cope, people need to learn to be nice to other people rather than destroying them. But yes, a thick skin and being able to stand up for yourself help. 
    For me I've read self-help books, mainly spiritual types like Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
    Green tea is mellowing me out right now. I have never tried weed. 

    My friends are more family than my family is.
    I hate the ethnic group I am part of, hate being part of it. I have distanced myself from the local cultural community.
    I hate that I am the only left wing person in my family and culture. It makes me feel like a freak.

    "Do you plan on living at home forever?"  HELL NO.

    "Do like school because so you do not have to face the real world?" Yes. I have not worked since I've gone back to university. I don't want to face people, I don't want to deal with people. It's also because I want the highest possible grades so I can make it into postgraduate, if I work that would probably affect my grades.

    Another issue is that I don't know wtf I want to do in life.
    I'm almost finished my bachelor degree. Don't know if I want to go on to study honours. 
    I don't know if what I am studying is what is for me.
    I love art and music but have not much talent and drive to pursue them.
    I just don't know who or what I am. Totally lost. No direction. 

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,897
    Sorry to just pop up . I have to write here  i cant stop crying and i feel the end is near. My mum says to go to hospital  but im scared of the repercussions on my kids if they keep me there.  I cant go on . Nothing works . Nothing. 
    Hey T.A you are a good soul. Never ever forget that amd in the end that  is all that  counts  in this world of asshats. I can promise you will rise and fly as soon as you let go. Just  let go of your family of your insecurities.  Remember ive seen you  and you are a normal  guy . And life is there outside of your enclosed world. Travel . If one thing pearl jam did for me is they got me to many countries in europe and i met friends for life that are my family. Love to all of you here. I mean that. Love
    think about what you just said: you are afraid of what being kept in a hospital will do to your kids, but you think suicide is a better option?
    Headstones Fan Boy
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,180
    edited September 10
    You are right. people need to learn to be nice but most importantly respect each other.

    You know what I think.  You are not meant for the typical 9-5 job.  The 9-5 job is all BS from the government's education system.  Paraphrasing George Carlin "they want us just smart enough to operate the machines and push the paper".  You are not that type of guy.  Have you ever considered looking into an occupation that allows you to work remotely?  I watch lots of youtube videos of people who RV fulltime while working remotely.   If I lived in Australia and was a young man I'd get an RV and work remotely and just tour around.  

    You have options.  Just think outside the box.  You are your own man.  You do not have to live your life the way most people do.  I left work because I was tired of the daily grind.  3 years later I am back working.  Fortunately, I targeted this company I wanted to work for (Cannabis). I did not know if I wanted to deal with grind and office politics.  I luck out.  We do not have time for gossip, office politics...just very busy, everyone works as a team...the reason.  When the important work is done we can stay or go...and I did not know any of this until I was working...and believe me this is a good scenario for me.  You just never know what's out there.  Think outside the box.

    One of the YouTubers I follow has never their channel "Know Your Dream".  That is excellent advice.  You are still young, do what's best for you...not what society thinks best.  

    And by the way.  Just so you know, I could never work in an office in a sedentary job all-day.  Every job I have had has involved hard work.  Hard work does not bother me.  But I recognized right out of school that college and University were not for me.  I made middle-class income, had great benefits and am sitting on a nice juicy pension that many do not get these days...at least for me, I knew where I was headed.  You will if you think outside the box.

    I think you have more options than you think.  How bout masters of social work?  That's in your area of study.  Over here many work independently.

    You are a stand-up fellow that may not fit into societies they way we have programmed.

    I was planning on opening a Cannabis shop until the Ontario government screwed that up?  That has been my dream fo 10 years.  I knew legalization was going to happen sooner than later.  I believe I will realize my dream.  There are court challenges that are going forward that will remove all regulations from Cannabis...then my store will open.
    Post edited by Meltdown99 on
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    edited September 10
    I have always felt I am not a 9-5 guy. It makes me feel like a selfish, lazy, pathetic person to think that way.
    I hated the rat race, I hated all the bullshit of having to be nice to someone you don't like because they are asshats.
    It felt so empty and pointless. I kept thinking "is this all there is to life?". I just hated all the phoney ass kissing around me.
    I feel like people are judging me for not working, family, friends.
    To be honest I'd love to be a full time artist, a painter. But I've not painted since February that I question if I really want that. It's physically intense work, I'm always so exhausted after a day spent painting. But the end result is a joy.
    I thought I'd study psychology as I wouldn't be chained to a desk in an office, I wouldn't have to deal with bullying colleagues, I'd be helping someone and I love the field. 

    So what else stops me from painting? My family's opinions. They think it's crazy to do art as a career.
    And when they think I am crazy, I start to believe it. I am so sensitive to other's opinions. I feel like a freak if they think I am a freak.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,897
    I have always felt I am not a 9-5 guy. It makes me feel like a selfish, lazy, pathetic person to think that way.
    I hated the rat race, I hated all the bullshit of having to be nice to someone you don't like because they are asshats.
    It felt so empty and pointless. I kept thinking "is this all there is to life?". I just hated all the phoney ass kissing around me.
    I feel like people are judging me for not working, family, friends.
    To be honest I'd love to be a full time artist, a painter. But I've not painted since February that I question if I really want that. It's physically intense work, I'm always so exhausted after a day spent painting. But the end result is a joy.
    I thought I'd study psychology as I wouldn't be chained to a desk in an office, I wouldn't have to deal with bullying colleagues, I'd be helping someone and I love the field. 

    So what else stops me from painting? My family's opinions. They think it's crazy to do art as a career.
    And when they think I am crazy, I start to believe it. I am so sensitive to other's opinions. I feel like a freak if they think I am a freak.
    no one ever realized their dreams by listening to people who quash them. 

    I don't do what I love. I have accepted I won't be playing bass in a band that can sustain me and my family financially. if you can do what you love, that is a gift and a blessing. there is nothing wrong with trying. you are still young, no matter who tells you differently. Dreams know no age. if it can be thought of, it can be realized. even if it's not your career, it can be a hobby. Many people are accountants by day and in a band on the weekends. are they playing stadiums? no, but they are still realizing something they love to do. you really can have it all. you just have to STOP LISTENING TO THE FUCKWITS IN YOUR FAMILY and do what you want. 
    Headstones Fan Boy
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,180
    Great advice Hugh.  Hugh, when you were young did you try to pursue a career as a bass player,m or did societal, family pressure cause you to just be a 9-5er.
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,897
    no, i didn't, but it had nothing to do with my family. it had to do with my lack of motivation. i've never had confidence in my musical ability, so it was honestly never in the cards for me. 
    Headstones Fan Boy
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,180
    I have always felt I am not a 9-5 guy. It makes me feel like a selfish, lazy, pathetic person to think that way.
    I hated the rat race, I hated all the bullshit of having to be nice to someone you don't like because they are asshats.
    It felt so empty and pointless. I kept thinking "is this all there is to life?". I just hated all the phoney ass kissing around me.
    I feel like people are judging me for not working, family, friends.
    To be honest I'd love to be a full time artist, a painter. But I've not painted since February that I question if I really want that. It's physically intense work, I'm always so exhausted after a day spent painting. But the end result is a joy.
    I thought I'd study psychology as I wouldn't be chained to a desk in an office, I wouldn't have to deal with bullying colleagues, I'd be helping someone and I love the field. 

    So what else stops me from painting? My family's opinions. They think it's crazy to do art as a career.
    And when they think I am crazy, I start to believe it. I am so sensitive to other's opinions. I feel like a freak if they think I am a freak.
    Just from what you have posted I would definitely say you are not cut out for the rat ass and that would just make even unhappier.  Just think outside the box.  I am sure with your education you can find what makes you happy.  You like painting...then paint.  Who cares what the family says.  Life is not easy.  Life can just suck sometimes.  
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,897
    you want to meet people at the same time as making money and get the hell out of your mom's house? take a bar tending course. 
    Headstones Fan Boy
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,180
    Do you think someone with anxiety about being bullied should be working in a bar?  Alcohol gives people false courage.  He does not want the 9-5 BS.  And bartending would essentially be the rat race.  He likes painting, maybe a paint supply store.  He is not unusual for living at home in his 30's...more and more people are because of affordability.  
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,897
    i've never seen bartenders get bullied. it would help with socialization and confidence as well as money. working in a paint store isn't getting anyone out of their mom's basement. but i understand your point. 

    i make no judgement about anyone's living arrangements, whether it's seen as normal by societal norms or not. 
    Headstones Fan Boy
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    Yeah not keen on bars, hate loudness and I hate yelling over the top of noise.
    I'm keen on a bookstore job for now or an art store (but you need to know what is being sold so you can help others).
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 7,180
    Yeah not keen on bars, hate loudness and I hate yelling over the top of noise.
    I'm keen on a bookstore job for now or an art store (but you need to know what is being sold so you can help others).
    I think with your anxiety working as the bartender would not be good.  People, when they get drinking, are huge bullies and asshats.  Keep looking, but do not limit your options...and think outside the box. 
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 12,184
    I don't think where you work is as important as how you work, more how you think.
    You absolutely NEED to get out of your own head brosef!  Stop overthinking everything!
    I know, easier said than done, but that should be your main priority in life, IMO.
    Most of us need to restructure negative thought patterns, otherwise we wouldn't be in this thread.  It's hard, but it's worth the effort.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,897
    Yeah not keen on bars, hate loudness and I hate yelling over the top of noise.
    I'm keen on a bookstore job for now or an art store (but you need to know what is being sold so you can help others).
    well there goes that suggestion. LOL
    Headstones Fan Boy
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    I don't know who I am :-(
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Me either 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,524
    edited September 12
    I don't know who I am :-(
    what have you replaced painting with that brings comparable joy as descibed earlier?

    I'd say picking up a brush again may help you find out who you are.

    letters to a young poet by ranier maria rilke.  read it....
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,742
    edited September 12
    mickeyrat said:
    I don't know who I am :-(
    what have you replaced painting with that brings comparable joy as descibed earlier?

    I'd say picking up a brush again may help you find out who you are.

    letters to a young poet by ranier maria rilke.  read it....
    Nothing. Glued to my phone addicted to Facebook and Instagram.

    I just read the Wikipedia on that book. It sounds very interesting. Anything in particular you want me to get out of the book?

    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
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