A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

Thoughts_Arrive

lastexitlondon said:

I don't think thats possible here. Im referred back into the system for all the good that will be. Im sure im not in need of a psychiatrist . 

That sucks.
It's super expensive here.
More needs to be done by governments to improve mental health care which sadly gets neglected.
Sending you best wishes. 

lastexitlondon

Thank you for all of your support here. Im truely sorry to keep going on over the same ground. I feel so ill every minute of my life. Its a bloody waste of a life

kce8

Don't say that please. 
You really need another person/doctor to support you and help you to handle these feelings! 
And you don't have to be sorry for anything, that's what this thread was created for, to come here when you are feeling bad.

Please be strong and reach out for some more help. Think about your kids - they need you. Just try all you can also for yourself and never give up! 
I send all my best wishes too, there surely will come better times again! 

HughFreakingDillon

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

So i have a chance friday night to go in to london for a glen hansard gig. (Who i absolutely love) ive met him and seen many gigs even travelling to Berlin twice and cork. But im in turmoil. I love his new album . But im a mess and even getting the train is scaring me. My head is all over the place but a chance of a single ticket came up. I must fight the fear or i will stay home forever

several years ago, I had tickets to one of my favourite aritsts at the time, Jeff Martin of the Canadian band the Tea Party. he was playing a solo gig at a bar here in Winnipeg. My wife and I were going to go. that night, about an hour before show time, I came down with a debilitating anxiety attack. At the time, I didn't know what the fuck was going on, as I had never experienced this before (I was experienced with depression, but not anxiety yet). I was literally in the fetal position on the floor in my basement telling my wife that I couldn't go, I didn't know why, I just couldn't. Luckily she was supportive and she just held me. 

That was probably 10 years ago, and I still often think back in regret of missing that show. So now everytime I have some kind of panic come on before something (I almost always do before a concert-it really sucks but I've learned to live with it), I just fucking make myself go, no matter how shitty I feel, no matter how much I think is going to go wrong. I just force it. 

The big thing for me, I tell my wife all the time, I wish I could choose to buy tickets to a show the day of. I hate the anticipation. It freaks me out. I always have this feeling of dread of being in a closed venue with a shitload of people (not in a dangerous way, I don't know what it is, really). But once I get there I'm good. 

You can do this. And it will feel so good that you did. 

can't even take my own advice. have a show tonight with a meet and greet and soundcheck this afternoon and I'm having a hard time building up to go. Don't want to go. wife is telling me I'll be worse if I don't. but it's hard. 

lastexitlondon

I hope you made it HFD.
Today is the day ive finally lost it. I need to find a phone number or something. Ive asked my partner to get me help but she doesn't know what to do.  Im incapacitated. Taken my meds and valium nothing is helping i had a panic attack from hell reading a leaflet for altziemers yesterday in a dr s. 
Just the front cover described how i am. Killed my heart. I can't save myself

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

I hope you made it HFD.
Today is the day ive finally lost it. I need to find a phone number or something. Ive asked my partner to get me help but she doesn't know what to do.  Im incapacitated. Taken my meds and valium nothing is helping i had a panic attack from hell reading a leaflet for altziemers yesterday in a dr s. 
Just the front cover described how i am. Killed my heart. I can't save myself

couldnt stop yourself from picking up that pamphlet?

Thoughts_Arrive

lastexitlondon said:

I hope you made it HFD.
Today is the day ive finally lost it. I need to find a phone number or something. Ive asked my partner to get me help but she doesn't know what to do.  Im incapacitated. Taken my meds and valium nothing is helping i had a panic attack from hell reading a leaflet for altziemers yesterday in a dr s. 
Just the front cover described how i am. Killed my heart. I can't save myself

Sorry to hear man.
Thinking of you.
Have you tried self-talk when you are in the grip of health anxiety, like telling yourself this is my brain making me think this way, accepting the thoughts as they are?

lastexitlondon

I couldn't stop myself  lm out of my mind

lastexitlondon

I resisted looking at any information for 4 months. Im back to see a different dr later today

Meltdown99

I have had anxiety/depression for a while, but just recently diagnosed.  I will get into my story in another post.  I hope people posting here with anxiety are in counselling...medicine on it's own will not help out completely.  Actually I've come across many people with depression who only treat it with counselling.

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

I resisted looking at any information for 4 months. Im back to see a different dr later today

found this after reading your earlier post.  have no idea the extent of your research for relief but here it is anyway.

http://www.veale.co.uk/resources-support/public-information/health-anxiety/

Meltdown99

lastexitlondon said:

I hope you made it HFD.
Today is the day ive finally lost it. I need to find a phone number or something. Ive asked my partner to get me help but she doesn't know what to do.  Im incapacitated. Taken my meds and valium nothing is helping i had a panic attack from hell reading a leaflet for altziemers yesterday in a dr s. 
Just the front cover described how i am. Killed my heart. I can't save myself

It's not up to your partner to get you help, it's up to you, Britain has a good crisis hotline (www.supportline.org.uk/about/index.php)...this would be a great spot to start.  By the way, that's how I started my road to recovery, called a crisis line, they got me into a program and I sought outside counselling.  If you do not like a counsellor, keep looking, when you find a connection that works, run with it.

lastexitlondon

Thank you mickey.

lastexitlondon

Very true . The mental health services signed me off after years of councilling and groups. Ive been re reffered but could take a while. Sometimes ive been able to engage but this time its gone to a different place or level. I cant move from fear

Meltdown99

My story...

I'm Mark by the way...

I've had anxiety most of my life (untreated improperly until August 2017).  My anxiety deepened upon the loss of my brother at 49 6 years ago, my mother followed him 3 years later...I did not deal well with their deaths, I became angry and angrier, then about 2 years ago I had to go off work due to a disability and applied for the disability insurance (it's now in my lawyers hands)...once again I was not equipped  to deal with such a long legal fight, my anxiety deepened and lead to a diagnosis of depression, in July of 2017 my wife moved out (she told me she would not come back until I entered counselling), I entered counselling and she did come back, however, it was very rock and at times tense at times (she moved back home in late August)  Fast forward to December, as a pedestrian  I was hit by a car at a controlled crossing (I had the right way), after the accident I slowly regressed, after Christmas my wife moved out again...

Thing is...after counselling I thought I was fine...but in reality I still needed much more work, so I'm taking this opportunity to really work on myself...I know if I do that my wife will want to stay married.

The moral of this story...if you sufferers of anxiety do not put in the work your wife/significant other will eventually leave you...you can do as I did, only seek help after she has left or seek help now, and continue your journey to recovery so you partners don't leave you.  

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you mickey.

attempted to send a pm? not sure it arrived or if it did, you'll see it sent twice.

lastexitlondon

I didn't receive yet

Meltdown99

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you for all of your support here. Im truely sorry to keep going on over the same ground. I feel so ill every minute of my life. Its a bloody waste of a life

Do you not have private councillors?  We have socialized medicine, but for the most part we are expected to get counselling  in the private sector ... we can get treatment through mental health Canada, myself, I prefer private counselling and many counsellors offer discounted rates for people without insurance.  I also joined a sport group, personally, it was not for me...

I'll post some suggestions of things that can help your mental state.

lastexitlondon

I ve been in treatment of one kind or another for 14 years. From bereavement to one to one. Group. All kinds of meds. I had to leave my wife and kids so did it the other way round to you. I had to leave to save them partially. Ive helped myself for years barely muddled through until last 5 years dropped lower and lower and still lower. In England its up to the nhs which services they think you need. 

lastexitlondon

Im diagnosed with health anxiety . And generalised anxiety disorder.

Meltdown99

The best suggestion I can give anyone with anxiety, stop drinking alcohol and caffeinated drinks.  Caffeine causes you to be jittery and alcohol is a depressant.  Do you have access to medical weed, if you do, switch to weed, weed is a benign drug, no real side effects...and it relaxes you, sometimes it really, really relaxes the mind, if you smoke enough...lol

Also if you are taking benzos on a regular basis, you need to stop, get an anti-depressant with an anxiety component in the drug.

Also benzos and alcohol are a very bad mix...remember chris cornell, RIP, there are many more out there that met the same fate...

lastexitlondon

Thank you. I don't drink coffee or soda. I have episodes of alcohol. Stopped for a while. Im on antidepressants AGAIN and i take about 2 valium a week if that. I do believe there are many levels of this illness and if you find your answer early enough you can get well. But if you don't find your own way after years you can't come back.

oftenreading

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you. I don't drink coffee or soda. I have episodes of alcohol. Stopped for a while. Im on antidepressants AGAIN and i take about 2 valium a week if that. I do believe there are many levels of this illness and if you find your answer early enough you can get well. But if you don't find your own way after years you can't come back.

That may be your belief but that doesn't make it true, and in fact it isn't. Try to take to heart the saying "Don't believe everything you think". 

lastexitlondon

oftenreading said:

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you. I don't drink coffee or soda. I have episodes of alcohol. Stopped for a while. Im on antidepressants AGAIN and i take about 2 valium a week if that. I do believe there are many levels of this illness and if you find your answer early enough you can get well. But if you don't find your own way after years you can't come back.

That may be your belief but that doesn't make it true, and in fact it isn't. Try to take to heart the saying "Don't believe everything you think". 

That is true.

lastexitlondon

Well i just saw a different dr and they put my mind at ease a bit. Well worth the visit

HughFreakingDillon

excellent news lastexit. 

lastexitlondon

Thanks im determined to take this and move with it. She was the dementia specialist for our doctors by chance. And explained things to me. Now i must trust and move on.  Well thats my plan
 Get som3 structure and push

kce8

So wonderful to hear that lastexit! 

brianlux

Great to hear some hopeful news, lastexit!

lastexitlondon

I have to start a fresh when i wake up. No matter how i FEEL . Thank you to all here that have told me this and want more from myself. Life comes from inside your hopes and desires. I MUST remember this day. Everyday