I swear I could listen to ZiggyStar all night!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The thing I like most about time is that it's not real. It's all in the head. Sure, it's a useful trick to use if you want to meet someone at a specific place in the universe and have tea or coffee- but that's all it is- a trick. There is no such thing as the past. It exists only in the memory. There is no such thing as the future. It exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate, the only thing they would ever say is "Now". That's what time it is. It's "Now". - Damien Echols
I think ZiggyStar nailed it. If you send an email and he doesn't know you, he'll likely be apprehensive. Plus all signs in this thread point to you being fairly attractive, so anonymous communication wouldn't give you your best odds. (If girls are considering going gay and guys are bamboozling you into dinner dates, you're doing fine.) Find a reason to stay hello and do it pronto.
A long LONG time ago I was picking up my uncle from the Airport on his flight in from Amsterdam
Off of his plane was one of the most attractive women I had ever seen.
He saw me looking and told me to talk to her. I said no and I didn't.
His advice..."whats the worse that can happen she says no and you are back in the same place you were before"
Ask him out for a cup of coffee, breakfast, lunch in the company cafe...You'll be fine!
bingo!
Follow Green Circle's advice.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Okay, I took your advice & did some reconnaissance. (Oh God, I really do have a problem. :oops: ) I went to his office. The good news is that he has his office hours posted on his door. The bad news is that he's only there for 1.5 hours on Monday & Wednesday mornings - and his office is so far removed from any thoroughfare that it would be really unbelievable that I would just happen to be there & run into him.
But when a guy does this, it is in fact stalking, broads have it so easy in courtship.
Yeah, I think there's a fine line - and I don't know where it's drawn. Ultimately, it usually comes down to whether the other person likes you too. If they do, it's a good, romantic story to tell about how you first got together. If they don't... well that's another story. Although I do think technically they hav to tell you to cut it out at least once before it's real stalking, right??
They use to also say that it's only sexual harassment if the guy is ugly , but I'm smarter than that. I know when exactly when someone is not interested in me, usually when someone files the 3rd TRO (temporary restraining order) against me, then I say it's time to move on, better to play it safe even in LOVE
Where the hell was Ziggy earlier? This made for good dinner reading.
I don't know how I missed this thread....I came in about 10 pages too late! It's going to be interesting to see how this pans out....what direction the OP takes etc.
Where the hell was Ziggy earlier? This made for good dinner reading.
I don't know how I missed this thread....I came in about 10 pages too late! It's going to be interesting to see how this pans out....what direction the OP takes etc.
Yeah, I'm curious to see what direction the OP takes & how it pans out too.
I'm thinking, though, that your plan is not something I could pull off. It just feels kind of dishonest (anyone else see it that way?) - and I'm honest to a fault. I just can't deceive people, and the more worried I am about spilling it the more likely I am to confess.
I'm wondering, though: How bad/stalkerish is it really that I know his contact info (location, number, email) for work? I mean we work for the same employer (big as it is). He's listed in the directory. And the purpose of him having a web page is so people can learn about him & contact him (even though I'm sure it's a requirement of his job).
Yeah you'd need some balls to pull it off.....if you don't think you can do it well, I wouldn't bother or you might end up looking like a dick. I am pretty damn good at handling situations and pulling shit like this off and can turn on the charm in an instant and have people eating out of my hand. It's all about how you manage the situation....and how much confidence you have I guess. Are you a confident person?
I don't look at this as being "dishonest"....far from it. Is it any worse than asking someone a question you already know the answer to just so you get to talk to him....or going to a certain store you wouldn't normally go to because you're keen on the store assistant....or purposely going to karaoke night because he'll be there? Maybe having a fake "found item" makes it a bit more dishonest. I don't know.
I think of it more as being in charge of a situation and getting what you want....maybe it is dishonest....meh....I like getting what I want and I'm more than happy to tell a harmless white lie like this to get what I want! But that's just me.
I just have to figure out how to actually see him again without seeming like a stalker. I don't think I could pull off the bumping-into-him-outside-his-office routine. :oops:
here's the thing...you're thinking like a woman...most guys would love to be pursued like this
I was thinking more about this statement. Do you think it's really true in a situation like this, where the guy has no idea who the girl even is?
I was thinking about the times I've been asked out out of the blue by totally random guys, and 95% of the time my response was the same: "I don't even know you." And often also, "You don't even know me." And 95% of the time their response was the same: "Well how can we get to know each other if you don't go out with me?"
Do you think women tend toward the former perspective & men tend toward the latter? Or do you think it's just that the pursuers (who usually happen to be men) tend toward the latter perspective & the pursued tend toward the former? :?
Yeah you'd need some balls to pull it off.....if you don't think you can do it well, I wouldn't bother or you might end up looking like a dick. I am pretty damn good at handling situations and pulling shit like this off and can turn on the charm in an instant and have people eating out of my hand. It's all about how you manage the situation....and how much confidence you have I guess. Are you a confident person?
I'm a pretty confident person about some things, depending on the context & my mood at the time. But I'm not used to asking guys out. And I'm really pretty shy.
I'm a pretty confident person about some things, depending on the context & my mood at the time. But I'm not used to asking guys out. And I'm really pretty shy.
Yeah I understand....and the fact that you REALLY like him would also make it harder to pull off.
How long have you liked him?
Oh! I was also just thinking that if you did tell a little white lie just to get the chance to meet him, if it all works out, you can then tell him "hehe remember that book....well that was just an excuse to meet you" and he'll be all "nawww how cute!!" See! It's not dishonest if you tell him....eventually!
(I would also like to add though that when I said I'm confident in situations blah blah above, that's in smallish groups....get me up to do an organised public speech say at university, I'm like :shock: :shock: :shock: . Fucking hate public speaking....suck at it....terrifying....immense fear of saying something wrong/looking stupid! I even crapped my pants when a newspaper phoned me last year about a phone interview for my business....my ENTIRE body went red within minutes....thank fuck it was over the phone....I felt sick doing it....once again, a fear of saying something wrong, looking like a dick and having it in print. I reread what I'd said above and it sounded like I thought I was "all that"....but I'm not....I'm really good in some situations and very crap in others.)
I'm a pretty confident person about some things, depending on the context & my mood at the time. But I'm not used to asking guys out. And I'm really pretty shy.
Yeah I understand....and the fact that you REALLY like him would also make it harder to pull off.
Yes, it totally would!
How long have you liked him?
Since Friday. :oops:
Oh! I was also just thinking that if you did tell a little white lie just to get the chance to meet him, if it all works out, you can then tell him "hehe remember that book....well that was just an excuse to meet you" and he'll be all "nawww how cute!!" See! It's not dishonest if you tell him....eventually!
Yeah, I thought about that. I just don't think I could keep it a secret for very long - especially if there's ever any alcohol involved. I may have trouble actively being deceitful when I'm sober, but when I've been drinking I have trouble just not confessing any/everything I want to be sure to not say. It's bad. I'm already worried enough spilling it that I Googled him.
Where the hell was Ziggy earlier? This made for good dinner reading.
I don't know how I missed this thread....I came in about 10 pages too late! It's going to be interesting to see how this pans out....what direction the OP takes etc.
Yeah, I'm curious to see what direction the OP takes & how it pans out too.
I'm thinking, though, that your plan is not something I could pull off. It just feels kind of dishonest (anyone else see it that way?) - and I'm honest to a fault. I just can't deceive people, and the more worried I am about spilling it the more likely I am to confess.
I'm wondering, though: How bad/stalkerish is it really that I know his contact info (location, number, email) for work? I mean we work for the same employer (big as it is). He's listed in the directory. And the purpose of him having a web page is so people can learn about him & contact him (even though I'm sure it's a requirement of his job).
It's not stalkerish at all. If you were to be completely honest, mentioning how you noticed him, who you were with and why you didn't approach him then, it makes sense. I'd say most people have found themselves in similar situations. How you'd contact him is also fairly reasonable...got the scoop from those same friends and you do have the same employer. I find it highly unlikely that he would respond negatively; if any of that spooked him, he's being unreasonable. (Given his field of research, he sounds anything but uptight.) So go for it and go for it soon. The sooner you do it, the more it looks impulsive and less like you've been dwelling on it.
sooo ... what is the resolution? ... did you ask him out? ...
if not - do you know anyone who might be able to hook you up?? ... if you two work in the same school - surely, someone you know must know him slightly ...
and honestly - catching someone across the room ... listening to him sing ... those are sparks that are worth flaming ... worry not about the perception or outcome - if he's a guy worth dating, he won't care about the things you are worrying about ...
It's not stalkerish at all. If you were to be completely honest, mentioning how you noticed him, who you were with and why you didn't approach him then, it makes sense. I'd say most people have found themselves in similar situations. How you'd contact him is also fairly reasonable...got the scoop from those same friends and you do have the same employer. I find it highly unlikely that he would respond negatively; if any of that spooked him, he's being unreasonable. (Given his field of research, he sounds anything but uptight.) So go for it and go for it soon. The sooner you do it, the more it looks impulsive and less like you've been dwelling on it.
Thanks for the advice. And great point about the part I bolded. I hadn't thought of that!
sooo ... what is the resolution? ... did you ask him out? ...
if not - do you know anyone who might be able to hook you up?? ... if you two work in the same school - surely, someone you know must know him slightly ...
and honestly - catching someone across the room ... listening to him sing ... those are sparks that are worth flaming ... worry not about the perception or outcome - if he's a guy worth dating, he won't care about the things you are worrying about ...
No, I didn't ask him out. :( I haven't seen him (despite my best efforts) and I'm getting mixed reviews on the idea of just contacting him directly, out of nowhere.
The co-workers I was with when I saw him know who he is, but I don't think they really know him. And I don't actually know them very well either; that was only the second time I had been out with that group of people from work. They said they'd invite me to the next karaoke night, but who knows if he'll be there or if he'll be on another date.
So I'm trying to decide whether to wait it out until I can run into him or whether I should just email him. :?
sooo ... what is the resolution? ... did you ask him out? ...
if not - do you know anyone who might be able to hook you up?? ... if you two work in the same school - surely, someone you know must know him slightly ...
and honestly - catching someone across the room ... listening to him sing ... those are sparks that are worth flaming ... worry not about the perception or outcome - if he's a guy worth dating, he won't care about the things you are worrying about ...
No, I didn't ask him out. :( I haven't seen him (despite my best efforts) and I'm getting mixed reviews on the idea of just contacting him directly, out of nowhere.
The co-workers I was with when I saw him know who he is, but I don't think they really know him. And I don't actually know them very well either; that was only the second time I had been out with that group of people from work. They said they'd invite me to the next karaoke night, but who knows if he'll be there or if he'll be on another date.
So I'm trying to decide whether to wait it out until I can run into him or whether I should just email him. :?
don't email...just walk over to his office and say hi. be bold.
Man I love 2012.
Chicks chasing guys is an amazing concept. I dig it.
Maybe once or twice in my life did a girl do this to me. I was so caught off guard I didnt know how to react. But I think its more and more common now, and thats a good thing.
If that Karaoke night thing pans out, that sounds great and like it would be easiest for you. But otherwise I've always learned that the longer you wait, the harder it gets (and the less likely that it will end in your favor the longer you wait)..
...and also, I could listen to Ziggy preach this stuff all day too. The World needs more Ziggys.
don't email...just walk over to his office and say hi. be bold.
i think email is safe ...
i will craft the email for ya ... you will owe me a bootleg or something if you end up marrying the guy ...
Hi so and so,
My name is underscore and I would like to hashtag ampersand asterix exclamation point you silly. Please know that I say that with the utmost respect and decency of a lady of the court.
don't email...just walk over to his office and say hi. be bold.
i think email is safe ...
i will craft the email for ya ... you will owe me a bootleg or something if you end up marrying the guy ...
Hi so and so,
My name is underscore and I would like to hashtag ampersand asterix exclamation point you silly. Please know that I say that with the utmost respect and decency of a lady of the court.
you have his email? he has your email? how did you aquire his email?
He's a professor at the university where I work. He's listed in our directory. Plus, all the faculty in his department have web pages with contact info & bios.
Comments
Follow Green Circle's advice.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
They use to also say that it's only sexual harassment if the guy is ugly
Yeah I hear that often!!
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
I don't know how I missed this thread....I came in about 10 pages too late!
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
Yeah, I'm curious to see what direction the OP takes & how it pans out too.
I'm thinking, though, that your plan is not something I could pull off. It just feels kind of dishonest (anyone else see it that way?) - and I'm honest to a fault. I just can't deceive people, and the more worried I am about spilling it the more likely I am to confess.
I'm wondering, though: How bad/stalkerish is it really that I know his contact info (location, number, email) for work? I mean we work for the same employer (big as it is). He's listed in the directory. And the purpose of him having a web page is so people can learn about him & contact him (even though I'm sure it's a requirement of his job).
I don't look at this as being "dishonest"....far from it. Is it any worse than asking someone a question you already know the answer to just so you get to talk to him....or going to a certain store you wouldn't normally go to because you're keen on the store assistant....or purposely going to karaoke night because he'll be there? Maybe having a fake "found item" makes it a bit more dishonest. I don't know.
I think of it more as being in charge of a situation and getting what you want....maybe it is dishonest....meh....I like getting what I want and I'm more than happy to tell a harmless white lie like this to get what I want!
Good luck! Hope it all works out for you.
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
I was thinking more about this statement. Do you think it's really true in a situation like this, where the guy has no idea who the girl even is?
I was thinking about the times I've been asked out out of the blue by totally random guys, and 95% of the time my response was the same: "I don't even know you." And often also, "You don't even know me." And 95% of the time their response was the same: "Well how can we get to know each other if you don't go out with me?"
Do you think women tend toward the former perspective & men tend toward the latter? Or do you think it's just that the pursuers (who usually happen to be men) tend toward the latter perspective & the pursued tend toward the former? :?
I'm a pretty confident person about some things, depending on the context & my mood at the time. But I'm not used to asking guys out. And I'm really pretty shy.
Thanks!
Yeah I understand....and the fact that you REALLY like him would also make it harder to pull off.
How long have you liked him?
Oh! I was also just thinking that if you did tell a little white lie just to get the chance to meet him, if it all works out, you can then tell him "hehe remember that book....well that was just an excuse to meet you" and he'll be all "nawww how cute!!"
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
Just wanted to add that.
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
Yes, it totally would!
Since Friday. :oops:
Yeah, I thought about that. I just don't think I could keep it a secret for very long - especially if there's ever any alcohol involved. I may have trouble actively being deceitful when I'm sober, but when I've been drinking I have trouble just not confessing any/everything I want to be sure to not say. It's bad. I'm already worried enough spilling it that I Googled him.
It's not stalkerish at all. If you were to be completely honest, mentioning how you noticed him, who you were with and why you didn't approach him then, it makes sense. I'd say most people have found themselves in similar situations. How you'd contact him is also fairly reasonable...got the scoop from those same friends and you do have the same employer. I find it highly unlikely that he would respond negatively; if any of that spooked him, he's being unreasonable. (Given his field of research, he sounds anything but uptight.) So go for it and go for it soon. The sooner you do it, the more it looks impulsive and less like you've been dwelling on it.
if not - do you know anyone who might be able to hook you up?? ... if you two work in the same school - surely, someone you know must know him slightly ...
and honestly - catching someone across the room ... listening to him sing ... those are sparks that are worth flaming ... worry not about the perception or outcome - if he's a guy worth dating, he won't care about the things you are worrying about ...
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Thanks for the advice. And great point about the part I bolded. I hadn't thought of that!
this, the rawness that we all are.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
No, I didn't ask him out. :( I haven't seen him (despite my best efforts) and I'm getting mixed reviews on the idea of just contacting him directly, out of nowhere.
The co-workers I was with when I saw him know who he is, but I don't think they really know him. And I don't actually know them very well either; that was only the second time I had been out with that group of people from work. They said they'd invite me to the next karaoke night, but who knows if he'll be there or if he'll be on another date.
So I'm trying to decide whether to wait it out until I can run into him or whether I should just email him. :?
Is this one of your 10 rules of men-getting?
don't email...just walk over to his office and say hi. be bold.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Chicks chasing guys is an amazing concept. I dig it.
Maybe once or twice in my life did a girl do this to me. I was so caught off guard I didnt know how to react. But I think its more and more common now, and thats a good thing.
If that Karaoke night thing pans out, that sounds great and like it would be easiest for you. But otherwise I've always learned that the longer you wait, the harder it gets (and the less likely that it will end in your favor the longer you wait)..
...and also, I could listen to Ziggy preach this stuff all day too.
if a chick tackles me i know it is on
women jumping on men is as old as time itself
this should be done a lot and often
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
i think email is safe ...
i will craft the email for ya ... you will owe me a bootleg or something if you end up marrying the guy ...
Hi so and so,
My name is underscore and I would like to hashtag ampersand asterix exclamation point you silly. Please know that I say that with the utmost respect and decency of a lady of the court.
Sincerely,
_
He's a professor at the university where I work. He's listed in our directory. Plus, all the faculty in his department have web pages with contact info & bios.