Question for the men

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ZiggyStar wrote:

Yeah you'd need some balls to pull it off.....if you don't think you can do it well, I wouldn't bother or you might end up looking like a dick. I am pretty damn good at handling situations and pulling shit like this off and can turn on the charm in an instant and have people eating out of my hand. It's all about how you manage the situation....and how much confidence you have I guess. Are you a confident person?

I'm a pretty confident person about some things, depending on the context & my mood at the time. But I'm not used to asking guys out. And I'm really pretty shy.

Good luck! Hope it all works out for you.

Thanks!

ZiggyStar

_ wrote:

I'm a pretty confident person about some things, depending on the context & my mood at the time. But I'm not used to asking guys out. And I'm really pretty shy.

Yeah I understand....and the fact that you REALLY like him would also make it harder to pull off.

How long have you liked him?

Oh! I was also just thinking that if you did tell a little white lie just to get the chance to meet him, if it all works out, you can then tell him "hehe remember that book....well that was just an excuse to meet you" and he'll be all "nawww how cute!!" See! It's not dishonest if you tell him....eventually!

ZiggyStar

(I would also like to add though that when I said I'm confident in situations blah blah above, that's in smallish groups....get me up to do an organised public speech say at university, I'm like :shock: :shock: :shock: . Fucking hate public speaking....suck at it....terrifying....immense fear of saying something wrong/looking stupid! I even crapped my pants when a newspaper phoned me last year about a phone interview for my business....my ENTIRE body went red within minutes....thank fuck it was over the phone....I felt sick doing it....once again, a fear of saying something wrong, looking like a dick and having it in print. I reread what I'd said above and it sounded like I thought I was "all that"....but I'm not....I'm really good in some situations and very crap in others.)

Just wanted to add that.

_

ZiggyStar wrote:

_ wrote:

I'm a pretty confident person about some things, depending on the context & my mood at the time. But I'm not used to asking guys out. And I'm really pretty shy.

Yeah I understand....and the fact that you REALLY like him would also make it harder to pull off.

Yes, it totally would!

How long have you liked him?

Since Friday. :oops:

Oh! I was also just thinking that if you did tell a little white lie just to get the chance to meet him, if it all works out, you can then tell him "hehe remember that book....well that was just an excuse to meet you" and he'll be all "nawww how cute!!" See! It's not dishonest if you tell him....eventually!

Yeah, I thought about that. I just don't think I could keep it a secret for very long - especially if there's ever any alcohol involved. I may have trouble actively being deceitful when I'm sober, but when I've been drinking I have trouble just not confessing any/everything I want to be sure to not say. It's bad. I'm already worried enough spilling it that I Googled him.

pjl44

_ wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

sheila0225 wrote:

Where the hell was Ziggy earlier? This made for good dinner reading.

I don't know how I missed this thread....I came in about 10 pages too late! It's going to be interesting to see how this pans out....what direction the OP takes etc.

Yeah, I'm curious to see what direction the OP takes & how it pans out too.

I'm thinking, though, that your plan is not something I could pull off. It just feels kind of dishonest (anyone else see it that way?) - and I'm honest to a fault. I just can't deceive people, and the more worried I am about spilling it the more likely I am to confess.

I'm wondering, though: How bad/stalkerish is it really that I know his contact info (location, number, email) for work? I mean we work for the same employer (big as it is). He's listed in the directory. And the purpose of him having a web page is so people can learn about him & contact him (even though I'm sure it's a requirement of his job).

It's not stalkerish at all. If you were to be completely honest, mentioning how you noticed him, who you were with and why you didn't approach him then, it makes sense. I'd say most people have found themselves in similar situations. How you'd contact him is also fairly reasonable...got the scoop from those same friends and you do have the same employer. I find it highly unlikely that he would respond negatively; if any of that spooked him, he's being unreasonable. (Given his field of research, he sounds anything but uptight.) So go for it and go for it soon. The sooner you do it, the more it looks impulsive and less like you've been dwelling on it.

polaris_x

sooo ... what is the resolution? ... did you ask him out? ...

if not - do you know anyone who might be able to hook you up?? ... if you two work in the same school - surely, someone you know must know him slightly ...

and honestly - catching someone across the room ... listening to him sing ... those are sparks that are worth flaming ... worry not about the perception or outcome - if he's a guy worth dating, he won't care about the things you are worrying about ...

chadwick

_ wrote:

chadwick wrote:

you women hold all the cards, all the time
and...78% - 86% of you do not even know it

the ones who are in this group
hold a lot of power and they themselves
are blinded to this amazing brilliance

moments ago i lost a wonderful little piece for this thread
but this computer blows ass and it is forever deleted
lost
and
i am am pissy

i had 10 rules of men getting for you women to check out

Well you can't just leave us hanging like that. You're such a tease!

i'll see what i can do.

_

pjl44 wrote:

It's not stalkerish at all. If you were to be completely honest, mentioning how you noticed him, who you were with and why you didn't approach him then, it makes sense. I'd say most people have found themselves in similar situations. How you'd contact him is also fairly reasonable...got the scoop from those same friends and you do have the same employer. I find it highly unlikely that he would respond negatively; if any of that spooked him, he's being unreasonable. (Given his field of research, he sounds anything but uptight.) So go for it and go for it soon. The sooner you do it, the more it looks impulsive and less like you've been dwelling on it.

Thanks for the advice. And great point about the part I bolded. I hadn't thought of that!

chadwick

a dude would like a gal to jump on him. and bygolly, in this day and age, women are very much capable of doing just that.

this, the rawness that we all are.

_

polaris_x wrote:

sooo ... what is the resolution? ... did you ask him out? ...

if not - do you know anyone who might be able to hook you up?? ... if you two work in the same school - surely, someone you know must know him slightly ...

and honestly - catching someone across the room ... listening to him sing ... those are sparks that are worth flaming ... worry not about the perception or outcome - if he's a guy worth dating, he won't care about the things you are worrying about ...

No, I didn't ask him out. :( I haven't seen him (despite my best efforts) and I'm getting mixed reviews on the idea of just contacting him directly, out of nowhere.

The co-workers I was with when I saw him know who he is, but I don't think they really know him. And I don't actually know them very well either; that was only the second time I had been out with that group of people from work. They said they'd invite me to the next karaoke night, but who knows if he'll be there or if he'll be on another date.

So I'm trying to decide whether to wait it out until I can run into him or whether I should just email him. :?

_

chadwick wrote:

a dude would like a gal to jump on him.

Is this one of your 10 rules of men-getting?

81

_ wrote:

polaris_x wrote:

sooo ... what is the resolution? ... did you ask him out? ...

if not - do you know anyone who might be able to hook you up?? ... if you two work in the same school - surely, someone you know must know him slightly ...

and honestly - catching someone across the room ... listening to him sing ... those are sparks that are worth flaming ... worry not about the perception or outcome - if he's a guy worth dating, he won't care about the things you are worrying about ...

No, I didn't ask him out. :( I haven't seen him (despite my best efforts) and I'm getting mixed reviews on the idea of just contacting him directly, out of nowhere.

The co-workers I was with when I saw him know who he is, but I don't think they really know him. And I don't actually know them very well either; that was only the second time I had been out with that group of people from work. They said they'd invite me to the next karaoke night, but who knows if he'll be there or if he'll be on another date.

So I'm trying to decide whether to wait it out until I can run into him or whether I should just email him. :?

don't email...just walk over to his office and say hi. be bold.

chadwick

you have his email? he has your email? how did you aquire his email?

JonnyPistachio

Man I love 2012.
Chicks chasing guys is an amazing concept. I dig it.
Maybe once or twice in my life did a girl do this to me. I was so caught off guard I didnt know how to react. But I think its more and more common now, and thats a good thing.

If that Karaoke night thing pans out, that sounds great and like it would be easiest for you. But otherwise I've always learned that the longer you wait, the harder it gets (and the less likely that it will end in your favor the longer you wait)..

...and also, I could listen to Ziggy preach this stuff all day too. The World needs more Ziggys.

chadwick

_ wrote:

chadwick wrote:

a dude would like a gal to jump on him.

Is this one of your 10 rules of men-getting?

yeah it is

if a chick tackles me i know it is on

women jumping on men is as old as time itself
this should be done a lot and often

polaris_x

81 wrote:

don't email...just walk over to his office and say hi. be bold.

i think email is safe ...

i will craft the email for ya ... you will owe me a bootleg or something if you end up marrying the guy ...

Hi so and so,

My name is underscore and I would like to hashtag ampersand asterix exclamation point you silly. Please know that I say that with the utmost respect and decency of a lady of the court.

Sincerely,

_

JonnyPistachio

polaris_x wrote:

81 wrote:

don't email...just walk over to his office and say hi. be bold.

i think email is safe ...

i will craft the email for ya ... you will owe me a bootleg or something if you end up marrying the guy ...

Hi so and so,

My name is underscore and I would like to hashtag ampersand asterix exclamation point you silly. Please know that I say that with the utmost respect and decency of a lady of the court.

Sincerely,

_

81

BOLD WINS

Black Diamond

81 wrote:

BOLD WINS

_

chadwick wrote:

you have his email? he has your email? how did you aquire his email?

He's a professor at the university where I work. He's listed in our directory. Plus, all the faculty in his department have web pages with contact info & bios.