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Question for the men

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    dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam NINUNINOPRO Posts: 139,158
    sheila0225 wrote:
    sheila0225 wrote:
    [maybe it's because the man is typically the pursuer...not the pursuited.
    its not that..trust me..they feel fear....fear of independence woman,woman with confidence...
    the ones know what they want...isnt difficult to scare men,or freak them out,im not gonna tell you how,thow.. :mrgreen:

    Fear of what? How is it that they can pursue you....and then the tables are flipped and you are pursuing them and they freak out? what gives?
    its not easy to say to some people straight what you want,,,
    we say here in Greece those type of men..mommys boys...they play taugh and want women to do what ever they want and try always to manipulate women,but they always do what their mommy says..
    the only way to have good relationship with women,is to understand them,respect them,and try to be happy via them and not against them...you can be stronge and taugh,at bed,is the only place that really counts..
    women know to love and share,is at men hands to play the game right..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
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    of.the.girlof.the.girl Posts: 10,026
    RKCNDY wrote:
    sheila0225 wrote:
    its not that..trust me..they feel fear....fear of independence woman,woman with confidence...
    the ones know what they want...isnt difficult to scare men,or freak them out,im not gonna tell you how,thow.. :mrgreen:

    Fear of what? How is it that they can pursue you....and then the tables are flipped and you are pursuing them and they freak out? what gives?

    yeah what gives?

    woman: 'I had a great time tonight we should go out again"
    man: 'uuhhh uhhh"....runs away

    what's up with that?
    (shelia, maybe we should start a new thread)

    It's like men like to be in control and then when the woman takes the lead and ask to go out for dinner or drinks they get freaked out.
    It's a great thread idea
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    dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam NINUNINOPRO Posts: 139,158
    RKCNDY wrote:
    [yeah what gives?

    woman: 'I had a great time tonight we should go out again"
    man: 'uuhhh uhhh"....runs away

    what's up with that?
    (shelia, maybe we should start a new thread)
    i understand..but not all men are the same...
    some men,cant understand that women change and are more aggressive this days...
    mommy told them,that women must serve them..
    actually is a war of roles..
    women changed fast and men didnt realise it yet...
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
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    of.the.girlof.the.girl Posts: 10,026
    sheila0225 wrote:
    its not that..trust me..they feel fear....fear of independence woman,woman with confidence...
    the ones know what they want...isnt difficult to scare men,or freak them out,im not gonna tell you how,thow.. :mrgreen:

    Fear of what? How is it that they can pursue you....and then the tables are flipped and you are pursuing them and they freak out? what gives?
    its not easy to say to some people straight what you want,,,
    we say here in Greece those type of men..mommys boys...they play taugh and want women to do what ever they want and try always to manipulate women,but they always do what their mommy says..
    the only way to have good relationship with women,is to understand them,respect them,and try to be happy via them and not against them...you can be stronge and taugh,at bed,is the only place that really counts..
    women know to love and share,is at men hands to play the game right..

    But don't men understand that when they play games, that is unattractive to women?
    It's like when they want to be bothered, they will bother with you and the other times, it's like the hell with it.
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    RKCNDY wrote:
    yeah what gives?

    woman: 'I had a great time tonight we should go out again"
    man: 'uuhhh uhhh"....runs away

    what's up with that?
    (shelia, maybe we should start a new thread)
    Look,

    Not every guy is not going to like every girl... Just as every girl is not going to like every guy...
    In the new world, where both sexes can be the pursuer... getting a thick skin is going to be necessary...

    Trust me... I have been told some pretty awful things, right after using the line above...
    One of them being... you honestly think that I would go outr with someone like you a second time? :?
    Luckily I can laugh that off now :lol:
    GoiMTvP.gif
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    of.the.girlof.the.girl Posts: 10,026
    _ wrote:
    polaris_x wrote:
    send him an email ... say you've seen him around and ask him to go for lunch ... ;)

    You think so?? I actually wrote him an email earlier, but then called a friend before hitting send and she said I would seem like I was stalking him. :(
    sheila0225 wrote:
    How did you run into him the last time? Make it non chalent like that.

    I saw him when I went out with some friends for karaoke. He was part of a big group of people my friends were meeting up with, but we all had different tables and he wasn't near ours. I didn't try to talk to him because he was with a girl. So I've never even met him. :oops:

    But I noticed him across the room and thought he was gorgeous (which never happens to me). Then my friends (who know who he is, but don't really know him) told me about him and their info made him even more attractive. Then he sang and I melted. And then I looked him up on our university website and on YouTube and that sealed it - I'm just smitten. :P

    Not only do I not know how to run in to him again, but I also don't know how to tell him I find him attractive for more than just his looks and his voice without giving it away that I looked him up online. :oops:

    Then I would just be honest. Drop a phone call to him and say hey, I saw you at karaoke and you caught my eye. Would you want to grab drinks or dinner?
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    Pamela0222Pamela0222 Posts: 1,544
    AMEN SHEILA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The thing I like most about time is that it's not real. It's all in the head. Sure, it's a useful trick to use if you want to meet someone at a specific place in the universe and have tea or coffee- but that's all it is- a trick. There is no such thing as the past. It exists only in the memory. There is no such thing as the future. It exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate, the only thing they would ever say is "Now". That's what time it is. It's "Now". - Damien Echols
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    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,147
    One of them being... you honestly think that I would go outr with someone like you a second time? :?
    Luckily I can laugh that off now :lol:

    :shock:

    wow!!


    :lol:
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    __ Posts: 6,651
    RKCNDY wrote:
    yeah what gives?

    woman: 'I had a great time tonight we should go out again"
    man: 'uuhhh uhhh"....runs away

    what's up with that?
    (shelia, maybe we should start a new thread)

    Don't start a new thread on my account. I'd love to know the answer to this too! I've had the same problem before and don't want to have it again now.
  • Options
    dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam NINUNINOPRO Posts: 139,158
    sheila0225 wrote:
    its not easy to say to some people straight what you want,,,
    we say here in Greece those type of men..mommys boys...they play taugh and want women to do what ever they want and try always to manipulate women,but they always do what their mommy says..
    the only way to have good relationship with women,is to understand them,respect them,and try to be happy via them and not against them...you can be stronge and taugh,at bed,is the only place that really counts..
    women know to love and share,is at men hands to play the game right..

    But don't men understand that when they play games, that is unattractive to women?
    It's like when they want to be bothered, they will bother with you and the other times, it's like the hell with it.
    and not all women are the same..
    there are women loved to be the victim..love those type of games..love to leave men control things..
    i really believe ,experience is very important to realise how to feel and act....
    and not have a patern,how the next guy you will meet will react..you never know,who is the girl,the boy smile at you and seating at the next table..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
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    rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 between a rock and a dumb place Posts: 12,632
    :?
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    of.the.girlof.the.girl Posts: 10,026
    sheila0225 wrote:
    its not easy to say to some people straight what you want,,,
    we say here in Greece those type of men..mommys boys...they play taugh and want women to do what ever they want and try always to manipulate women,but they always do what their mommy says..
    the only way to have good relationship with women,is to understand them,respect them,and try to be happy via them and not against them...you can be stronge and taugh,at bed,is the only place that really counts..
    women know to love and share,is at men hands to play the game right..

    But don't men understand that when they play games, that is unattractive to women?
    It's like when they want to be bothered, they will bother with you and the other times, it's like the hell with it.
    and not all women are the same..
    there are women loved to be the victim..love those type of games..love to leave men control things..
    i really believe ,experience is very important to realise how to feel and act....
    and not have a patern,how the next guy you will meet will react..you never know,who is the girl,the boy smile at you and seating at the next table..

    well golly gee.
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    dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam NINUNINOPRO Posts: 139,158
    sheila0225 wrote:
    Then I would just be honest. Drop a phone call to him and say hey, I saw you at karaoke and you caught my eye. Would you want to grab drinks or dinner?
    i believe this is a straight,honest ,sort and smart way to go..
    i dont see why a man will refuse that..ok ,we are talking if he is single,available man.....
    if someone talk to me like that,and im not with some other women at the moment,i would go out atleast one out with this girl..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
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    rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 between a rock and a dumb place Posts: 12,632
    sheila0225 wrote:
    Then I would just be honest. Drop a phone call to him and say hey, I saw you at karaoke and you caught my eye. Would you want to grab drinks or dinner?
    i believe this is a straight,honest ,sort and smart way to go..
    i dont see why a man will refuse that..ok ,we are talking if he is single,available man.....
    if someone talk to me like that,and im not with some other women at the moment,i would go out atleast one out with this girl..

    me too.
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    RKCNDYRKCNDY Seattle, WA Posts: 31,013
    _ wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    yeah what gives?

    woman: 'I had a great time tonight we should go out again"
    man: 'uuhhh uhhh"....runs away

    what's up with that?
    (shelia, maybe we should start a new thread)

    Don't start a new thread on my account. I'd love to know the answer to this too! I've had the same problem before and don't want to have it again now.

    I only suggested a new thread because I didn't want to de-rail the original intent...but I can keep asking questions!

    I've always been up front and honest when I was single, guys didn't seem to like that. They'd stop calling, and so I'd forget about them, then they start calling again...I hate head games!
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
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    __ Posts: 6,651
    See, I don't like to play games and I agree with the people who say I should just be straight up with this guy. But I've found that this doesn't work as well as it should. I mean, it's like we're supposed to tell them we like them and that's flattering, but at the same time we're supposed to play it cool, like we don't really like them very much, or they get scared or bored. :? I know all guys are different, but I've experienced this a lot, even with guys who are totally not players and not attached to gender roles.
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    _ wrote:
    See, I don't like to play games and I agree with the people who say I should just be straight up with this guy. But I've found that this doesn't work as well as it should. I mean, it's like we're supposed to tell them we like them and that's flattering, but at the same time we're supposed to play it cool, like we don't really like them very much, or they get scared or bored. :? I know all guys are different, but I've experienced this a lot, even with guys who are totally not players and not attached to gender roles.
    My opinion - If he's not the kind of guy who gets flattered by YOU approaching him... then he's not the right guy for you...
    GoiMTvP.gif
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    dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam NINUNINOPRO Posts: 139,158
    _ wrote:
    See, I don't like to play games and I agree with the people who say I should just be straight up with this guy. But I've found that this doesn't work as well as it should. I mean, it's like we're supposed to tell them we like them and that's flattering, but at the same time we're supposed to play it cool, like we don't really like them very much, or they get scared or bored. :? I know all guys are different, but I've experienced this a lot, even with guys who are totally not players and not attached to gender roles.
    My opinion - If he's not the kind of guy who gets flattered by YOU approaching him... then he's not the right guy for you...
    Adam,is right..
    try and see how it goes..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
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    of.the.girlof.the.girl Posts: 10,026
    RKCNDY wrote:
    _ wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    yeah what gives?

    woman: 'I had a great time tonight we should go out again"
    man: 'uuhhh uhhh"....runs away

    what's up with that?
    (shelia, maybe we should start a new thread)

    Don't start a new thread on my account. I'd love to know the answer to this too! I've had the same problem before and don't want to have it again now.

    I only suggested a new thread because I didn't want to de-rail the original intent...but I can keep asking questions!

    I've always been up front and honest when I was single, guys didn't seem to like that. They'd stop calling, and so I'd forget about them, then they start calling again...I hate head games!


    ME TOO!!! Headgames are the worst. I never used to be forward...and in recent months...I've been confident..which lead me to be a little more up front. But it seems to be backfiring. Oh well. Back to the drawing board
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    __ Posts: 6,651
    RKCNDY wrote:
    I've always been up front and honest when I was single, guys didn't seem to like that. They'd stop calling, and so I'd forget about them, then they start calling again...I hate head games!

    Yes, that's my experience too. :(
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    Pamela0222Pamela0222 Posts: 1,544
    Haven't found a guy who doesn't play games in awhile.

    Sheila: Fill me in on your gameplan please!!! I want in!!!
    The thing I like most about time is that it's not real. It's all in the head. Sure, it's a useful trick to use if you want to meet someone at a specific place in the universe and have tea or coffee- but that's all it is- a trick. There is no such thing as the past. It exists only in the memory. There is no such thing as the future. It exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate, the only thing they would ever say is "Now". That's what time it is. It's "Now". - Damien Echols
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    of.the.girlof.the.girl Posts: 10,026
    Pamela0222 wrote:
    Haven't found a guy who doesn't play games in awhile.

    Sheila: Fill me in on your gameplan please!!! I want in!!!

    When I figure that one out...I'll let you know. :lol:
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    stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    sheila0225 wrote:



    ME TOO!!! Headgames are the worst. I never used to be forward...and in recent months...I've been confident..which lead me to be a little more up front. But it seems to be backfiring. Oh well. Back to the drawing board

    I agree,I have met and dated men who all say they want a women with a strong character, with confidence and intelligence who has opinions and ideas and can hold a conversation.
    They get al that then decide they don't like it as much as they first claim,then the head games and drama starts.
    They seem to feel emasculated when faced with what they think the want.Than I am left confused and uncertain.
    This has happened to me so often I have all but given up
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
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    RKCNDYRKCNDY Seattle, WA Posts: 31,013
    _ wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    I've always been up front and honest when I was single, guys didn't seem to like that. They'd stop calling, and so I'd forget about them, then they start calling again...I hate head games!

    Yes, that's my experience too. :(

    last time I was single was in '99...guys haven't changed. I was really progressive back then...now I see they are telling single girls "don't date just one guy...too much pressure on 'trying to make it work', date several guys so you keep your options open" that didn't work back then...does it work now?
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
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    chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    it's not hard at all
    ya see someone ya like
    and ya talk to em
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."

    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
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    chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    edited February 2012
    stargirl69 wrote:
    sheila0225 wrote:



    ME TOO!!! Headgames are the worst. I never used to be forward...and in recent months...I've been confident..which lead me to be a little more up front. But it seems to be backfiring. Oh well. Back to the drawing board

    I agree,I have met and dated men who all say they want a women with a strong character, with confidence and intelligence who has opinions and ideas and can hold a conversation.
    They get al that then decide they don't like it as much as they first claim,then the head games and drama starts.
    They seem to feel emasculated when faced with what they think the want.Than I am left confused and uncertain.
    This has happened to me so often I have all but given up
    well you are in Scotland for christ sakes
    Scot men physically are unable to show feelings, fact. hell, Scotsmen cannot even shed a full tear, fact.
    dating, or even having sex with a Scotmen would be difficult. as all they wanna do is throw rocks, wear kilts, play the bag, and drink lots of super dark strong ales
    Post edited by chadwick on
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."

    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • Options
    GivenToLukinKPGivenToLukinKP Chicago Posts: 3,075
    sheila0225 wrote:
    _ wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    yeah what gives?

    woman: 'I had a great time tonight we should go out again"
    man: 'uuhhh uhhh"....runs away

    what's up with that?
    (shelia, maybe we should start a new thread)

    Don't start a new thread on my account. I'd love to know the answer to this too! I've had the same problem before and don't want to have it again now.


    ME TOO!!! Headgames are the worst. I never used to be forward...and in recent months...I've been confident..which lead me to be a little more up front. But it seems to be backfiring. Oh well. Back to the drawing board

    RE: Headgames....
    Once you get past the meeting them/going out at least once, I think it comes down to this:
    If he likes you, he will make it a point to talk to you/see you.

    If he says and acts like he 'had a great time' and then doesn't call/completley ignores you, he is an immature d-bag and does not DESERVE your attention. at all. My number one rule: DO NOT be the crazy girl. Ever. Its OK to reach out after you see him once, but don't keep calling him and leaving messages, stop texting him, stop stalking his facebook/other online activities, stop checking your phone and your email obsessively...stop. Just stop. I have seen SO many friends go through this...TOO many! Don't fool yourself or make excuses, just move on. There are plenty of great guys out there, you just gotta stop chasing the assholes.
    Makes much more sense...

    2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
    2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
    2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
    2014: Cincinnati, OH; St. Louis, MO; Moline, IL; Milwaukee, WI
    2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
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    chadwick wrote:
    stargirl69 wrote:
    sheila0225 wrote:



    ME TOO!!! Headgames are the worst. I never used to be forward...and in recent months...I've been confident..which lead me to be a little more up front. But it seems to be backfiring. Oh well. Back to the drawing board

    I agree,I have met and dated men who all say they want a women with a strong character, with confidence and intelligence who has opinions and ideas and can hold a conversation.
    They get al that then decide they don't like it as much as they first claim,then the head games and drama starts.
    They seem to feel emasculated when faced with what they think the want.Than I am left confused and uncertain.
    This has happened to me so often I have all but given up
    well you are in Scotland for christ sakes
    Scot men physically are unable to show feelings, fact. hell, Scotsmen cannot even shed a full tear, fact.
    dating, or even having sex with a Scotmen would be difficult. as all they wanna do is throw rocks, wear kilts, play the bag-thing, and drink lots of super dark strong ales
    Don't forget fudd punching...
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • Options
    chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    Don't forget fudd punching...
    see, even adam knows stuff.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."

    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • Options
    of.the.girlof.the.girl Posts: 10,026
    chadwick wrote:
    Don't forget fudd punching...
    see, even adam knows stuff.

    what the hell is fudd punching? :lol:
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