Question for the men

ZiggyStar

_ wrote:

Thanks for the advice. I agree with this - at least I know I'm much more likely to go out with someone with whom I'm familiar. I've just got to figure out how to make him familiar with me. :? And I kinda feel like I should hurry before he gets serious with that other girl.

If time is running out, do this:

"Find something" outside his office (book/mag etc)....take it into him....eg "is this yours -- I found it in the hall outside your office?"....have a laugh when he says it's not his....be sweet and funny and try to force a conversation. Go back two days later...."this may seem weird but since I saw you on [insert day], I keep thinking about you and was wondering if you'd be interested in having a beer/meal/hot raunchy sex sometime?"

ACT NOW!! Make the situation....don't wait for a situation to arise.

_

ZiggyStar wrote:

_ wrote:

Thanks for the advice. I agree with this - at least I know I'm much more likely to go out with someone with whom I'm familiar. I've just got to figure out how to make him familiar with me. :? And I kinda feel like I should hurry before he gets serious with that other girl.

If time is running out, do this:

"Find something" outside his office (book/mag etc)....take it into him....eg "is this yours -- I found it in the hall outside your office?"....have a laugh when he says it's not his....be sweet and funny and try to force a conversation. Go back two days later...."this may seem weird but since I saw you on [insert day], I keep thinking about you and was wondering if you'd be interested in having a beer/meal/hot raunchy sex sometime?"

ACT NOW!! Make the situation....don't wait for a situation to arise.

Good idea! That way it seems like I only came upon his office by accident, not like I stalked it out!

mfc2006

ZiggyStar wrote:

_ wrote:

Thanks for the advice. I agree with this - at least I know I'm much more likely to go out with someone with whom I'm familiar. I've just got to figure out how to make him familiar with me. :? And I kinda feel like I should hurry before he gets serious with that other girl.

If time is running out, do this:

"Find something" outside his office (book/mag etc)....take it into him....eg "is this yours -- I found it in the hall outside your office?"....have a laugh when he says it's not his....be sweet and funny and try to force a conversation. Go back two days later...."this may seem weird but since I saw you on [insert day], I keep thinking about you and was wondering if you'd be interested in having a beer/meal/hot raunchy sex sometime?"

ACT NOW!! Make the situation....don't wait for a situation to arise.

and here is another option....
and it's a good one!
well done Ziggy! :thumbup:

ZiggyStar

_ wrote:

Good idea! That way it seems like I only came upon his office by accident, not like I stalked it out!

Correct!! You were merely walking by and found something and thought you'd be nice and try to find the owner. Then you'll go away and he'll still be thinking "what a cool chick"....and then you go back two days later and BINGO!

You've probably got 2 minutes for him to focus on you when you drop off the thing you found. Wear darkish lipstick so he notices your smile and your teeth look whiter....accentuate your eyes (but not overboard) because he'll be looking straight into them and you'll be all smiley and nervous inside so your eyes will look happy and soft....if you have long hair, wear it down....proven fact men prefer long hair.

Laugh with him....be confident....and charming....act in charge and not nervous....because you're going to need to put across that confident manner again when you ask him out a few days later.

That's what I'd do anyway.

conman

ZiggyStar wrote:

_ wrote:

Thanks for the advice. I agree with this - at least I know I'm much more likely to go out with someone with whom I'm familiar. I've just got to figure out how to make him familiar with me. :? And I kinda feel like I should hurry before he gets serious with that other girl.

If time is running out, do this:

"Find something" outside his office (book/mag etc)....take it into him....eg "is this yours -- I found it in the hall outside your office?"....have a laugh when he says it's not his....be sweet and funny and try to force a conversation. Go back two days later...."this may seem weird but since I saw you on [insert day], I keep thinking about you and was wondering if you'd be interested in having a beer/meal/hot raunchy sex sometime?"

ACT NOW!! Make the situation....don't wait for a situation to arise.

ding ding ding.. we have a winner

ZiggyStar

OH! One more thing.

Have a back up plan. Maybe he's busy and you say "is this book yours?" and he distractedly says "no" and doesn't want to commit to a conversation. Have a question up your sleeve related to the uni, his/your work, an upcoming work event, something....anything.

For example "while I'm here, do you know where the ?? is" or "is Professor Dickwad in this building?"....something that will force him to break his mental focus on what he's doing and shift that focus onto you....just in case you get a one word answer to the "is this book yours?" question.

conman

ZiggyStar wrote:

OH! One more thing.

Have a back up plan. Maybe he's busy and you say "is this book yours?" and he distractedly says "no" and doesn't want to commit to a conversation. Have a question up your sleeve related to the uni, his/your work, an upcoming work event, something....anything.

For example "while I'm here, do you know where the ?? is" or "is Professor Dickwad in this building?"....something that will force him to break his mental focus on what he's doing and shift that focus onto you....just in case you get a one word answer to the "is this book yours?" question.

this must be a fantasy of yours, you sure have every detail thought out

ZiggyStar

conman wrote:

this must be a fantasy of yours, you sure have every detail thought out

Pfffft....my fantasies are fucking way more exciting than this!

conman

ZiggyStar wrote:

conman wrote:

this must be a fantasy of yours, you sure have every detail thought out

Pfffft....my fantasies are fucking way more exciting than this!

well, it can start out like that and then get hot and heavy :P

81

ZiggyStar wrote:

conman wrote:

this must be a fantasy of yours, you sure have every detail thought out

Pfffft....my fantasies are fucking way more exciting than this!

I've been in her fantasies and let me tell ya.....they are good.

Pamela0222

I swear I could listen to ZiggyStar all night!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pjl44

I think ZiggyStar nailed it. If you send an email and he doesn't know you, he'll likely be apprehensive. Plus all signs in this thread point to you being fairly attractive, so anonymous communication wouldn't give you your best odds. (If girls are considering going gay and guys are bamboozling you into dinner dates, you're doing fine.) Find a reason to stay hello and do it pronto.

dcfaithful

mfc2006 wrote:

Green Circle wrote:

A long LONG time ago I was picking up my uncle from the Airport on his flight in from Amsterdam
Off of his plane was one of the most attractive women I had ever seen.

He saw me looking and told me to talk to her. I said no and I didn't.

His advice..."whats the worse that can happen she says no and you are back in the same place you were before"

Ask him out for a cup of coffee, breakfast, lunch in the company cafe...You'll be fine!

bingo!

Follow Green Circle's advice.

of.the.girl

Where the hell was Ziggy earlier? This made for good dinner reading.

marcos

_ wrote:

marcos wrote:

_ wrote:

Okay, I took your advice & did some reconnaissance. (Oh God, I really do have a problem. :oops: ) I went to his office. The good news is that he has his office hours posted on his door. The bad news is that he's only there for 1.5 hours on Monday & Wednesday mornings - and his office is so far removed from any thoroughfare that it would be really unbelievable that I would just happen to be there & run into him.

But when a guy does this, it is in fact stalking, broads have it so easy in courtship.

Yeah, I think there's a fine line - and I don't know where it's drawn. Ultimately, it usually comes down to whether the other person likes you too. If they do, it's a good, romantic story to tell about how you first got together. If they don't... well that's another story. Although I do think technically they hav to tell you to cut it out at least once before it's real stalking, right??

They use to also say that it's only sexual harassment if the guy is ugly , but I'm smarter than that. I know when exactly when someone is not interested in me, usually when someone files the 3rd TRO (temporary restraining order) against me, then I say it's time to move on, better to play it safe even in LOVE

ZiggyStar

Pamela0222 wrote:

I swear I could listen to ZiggyStar all night!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I hear that often!! :shock:

ZiggyStar

sheila0225 wrote:

Where the hell was Ziggy earlier? This made for good dinner reading.

I don't know how I missed this thread....I came in about 10 pages too late! It's going to be interesting to see how this pans out....what direction the OP takes etc.

_

ZiggyStar wrote:

sheila0225 wrote:

Where the hell was Ziggy earlier? This made for good dinner reading.

I don't know how I missed this thread....I came in about 10 pages too late! It's going to be interesting to see how this pans out....what direction the OP takes etc.

Yeah, I'm curious to see what direction the OP takes & how it pans out too.

I'm thinking, though, that your plan is not something I could pull off. It just feels kind of dishonest (anyone else see it that way?) - and I'm honest to a fault. I just can't deceive people, and the more worried I am about spilling it the more likely I am to confess.

I'm wondering, though: How bad/stalkerish is it really that I know his contact info (location, number, email) for work? I mean we work for the same employer (big as it is). He's listed in the directory. And the purpose of him having a web page is so people can learn about him & contact him (even though I'm sure it's a requirement of his job).

ZiggyStar

Yeah you'd need some balls to pull it off.....if you don't think you can do it well, I wouldn't bother or you might end up looking like a dick. I am pretty damn good at handling situations and pulling shit like this off and can turn on the charm in an instant and have people eating out of my hand. It's all about how you manage the situation....and how much confidence you have I guess. Are you a confident person?

I don't look at this as being "dishonest"....far from it. Is it any worse than asking someone a question you already know the answer to just so you get to talk to him....or going to a certain store you wouldn't normally go to because you're keen on the store assistant....or purposely going to karaoke night because he'll be there? Maybe having a fake "found item" makes it a bit more dishonest. I don't know.

I think of it more as being in charge of a situation and getting what you want....maybe it is dishonest....meh....I like getting what I want and I'm more than happy to tell a harmless white lie like this to get what I want! But that's just me.

Good luck! Hope it all works out for you.

_

norm wrote:

_ wrote:

I just have to figure out how to actually see him again without seeming like a stalker. I don't think I could pull off the bumping-into-him-outside-his-office routine. :oops:

here's the thing...you're thinking like a woman...most guys would love to be pursued like this

I was thinking more about this statement. Do you think it's really true in a situation like this, where the guy has no idea who the girl even is?

I was thinking about the times I've been asked out out of the blue by totally random guys, and 95% of the time my response was the same: "I don't even know you." And often also, "You don't even know me." And 95% of the time their response was the same: "Well how can we get to know each other if you don't go out with me?"

Do you think women tend toward the former perspective & men tend toward the latter? Or do you think it's just that the pursuers (who usually happen to be men) tend toward the latter perspective & the pursued tend toward the former? :?