Its been so very long since the breeze has come through the windows carrying the sounds of the birds and the neighborhood children at play.
It seemed to take you forever to arrive making this evening all the more appreciated.
I anticipate slippers, a fuzzy blanket and the smell of the grill as the sun sets and the moon climbs within sight.
JB's return home, donning his flannel lined deck jacket, a small cigar trailing in hand, the sweet smoke filling our space with that peaceful feel.
Happiness.
It is moments like you that make life worth living.
You fuckwads , NO I didn't get any MEMO!!!! What was in this Memo? How long do I have and will there be a severance package? Can I take some office supplies when I go? fuck it, I'm taking them anyway.
Thanks,
Your loyal employee
P.S. about that severance package, I know where the bodies are buried. Just sayin'.
Dear mickeyrat,
Kinda funny you posted this just yesterday , given what you received in the mail today. It does seem the writing is on the wall, doesn't it?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I've been investing every waking moment--you've even invaded my DREAMS at times--on a research project that you probably have no interest in funding. As a result of trying to craft the perfect proposal that appeals to tweed-clad English department traditionalists, my supervisor's elite brigade of ultra-modern Digital Humanities specialists and your selection committee grounded entirely outside either field, I've been putting off way too much school work that ACTUALLY MATTERS. So please fuck off with your looming deadline!
Have a nice day,
Lauren
2003: Toronto
2005: Kitchener/Hamilton/Toronto
2006: Toronto 1 & 2
2008: Hartford/EV Toronto 1 & 2
2009: Toronto/Philadelphia 3 & 4
2010: Buffalo
2011: Montreal/Toronto 1 & 2/Hamilton
2013: London/Buffalo/Vancouver/Seattle 2016: Toronto 1 & 2 2022: Hamilton/Toronto 2023: EV Seattle 1&2
I am sorry to say you were most unsatisfactory. Ryvita why did you suck all the moisture out of the cream cheese? It made you all floppy and the cheese so gooey that it stuck to my teeth. Tesco low fat raspberry yogurt, you were like trying to drink water off a spoon, I now have to go treat patients with yogurt down my top.
Apple - you were lovely and crunchy and juicy. I appreciate your support.
Thanks for doing all the washing. Please remind me to show my appreciation at 10pm tonight.
Love
Tink
:shock: :shock:
Dear darling wife
I hope you enjoyed the meal I cooked last night but I feel guilty I didn't confess to what happened when I was dishing up. When the corn on the cob was cooked I strained it into a sieve and found myself juggling. Unfortunately the corn fell into the dirty washing up bowl. I confess I rinsed it under boiling water from the kettle and served it up.
You are lovely when you cover the trees in the Hoh Rainforest. You make great tinder for a campfire, and according to some survival experts, can make a tasty broth.
Must you cover my driveway with your super-glue like powers? You are very slippy when it rains, and then it's like you got a shot of steroids because then you get all huffy and start taking over everything. During the rainy season, you make a nice thick lush carpet out of my driveway, and the rain does not let up enough for me to attempt to get rid of your spongy squishy being. You have even choked out my lawn...is that not enough?
I have spent the last 3 hours power washing the driveway, and it looks very impressive, so lovely. Mr. Driveway is now showing off to the other driveways in the neighborhood how clean and tidy they can look. Mr. Lawn has no hope at all...he is dying a slow and painful death thanks to you. Do you collaborate with Mr. Dandelion and Mr. Clover as well? They seem to thrive since you took over. Miss Blackberry Bush says she does not know you...but she is just as annoying as you are....you may be related.
In short, you are not welcome near my house....GO AWAY!
Disgruntled Homeowner
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
I will not take the bait. Look as hard as you want. I will continue doing what I'm paid to do , HOW I'm told to do it. I will leave on my own terms. IN my own time. But rest assured I will be leaving. And as a parting farewell, where the buried bodies are will become known.
You make 70-80 K a year. And you felt it necessary to complain to those who EARN 8-12 an hour that you didnt get a raise this year? Laughable.
Better clean your sniper rifle very very well. I know I'm in the crosshairs. BUT , I'll wager you still cant hit me from CLOSE RANGE!!!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I got my hoodie, CD and keychain on Friday, yay! Now I will have to fight my spouse for the hoodie...
An extra special thanks for the extra goodie tucked in as well... I love it!
You guys are wonderful and thanks again!
Loyal Fan,
4and20
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
I would like to inform you that I have sent a letter of reprimand to two of the European Ryder Cup team. After a very difficult year for you I believe it discourteous for two Europeans to give you and your playing partner such a public spanking on the golf course today.
Dear Kids,
Just because it is school holidays and you all have your friends around doesn't mean I'm going to put up with bad language, selfish behaviour and sulking because you are not getting your own way.......
PLAY NICE!! or I'll put you in Time-out!
From
The Ghost of Future comming, you little shits.
Im very upset about the meeting we had yesterday. You lured me in, looking all comfy and cozy. I took the bait and took a nap on you for about an hour or two before football began. I awoke with a stiff neck that persists till today. Im not quite sure if you are 100% to blame, but I hold both you and the couch pillows accountable. Please be advised that I will be seeking a replacement for you in the near future.
-twisted neck
Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA - August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...
Why are you running away with yourself too much at the moment. Thoughts all over the place, getting in a flap about stuff. Please desist or I will have to forcibly remove you.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Dear Nice Coffee People at the kiosk at the Government Center train station,
Thank you for smiling every morning. You all seem to enjoy your jobs very much.
I don't know how, with thousands of commuters passing through every day, you know that I always get a large hot coffee with cream only. But every morning you have it waiting by the time I get to the front of the line.
Thank you for taking the time to share your concerns with me.
I am sorry that my recent performance failed to meet your expectations. Please know that I take this seriously and be assured that the issues that you have identified will be fully reviewed. Upon completion of that review we will be happy to share relevant findings with you.
In the meantime, as a token of my thanks I will be sending in your direction a typhoon, a moderate earthquake, and a plague of locusts.
Thank you again for your time and your continued support.
Comments
Your humans are trips.
Trips.
Sincerely,
Fee-Fee
I love you.
Its been so very long since the breeze has come through the windows carrying the sounds of the birds and the neighborhood children at play.
It seemed to take you forever to arrive making this evening all the more appreciated.
I anticipate slippers, a fuzzy blanket and the smell of the grill as the sun sets and the moon climbs within sight.
JB's return home, donning his flannel lined deck jacket, a small cigar trailing in hand, the sweet smoke filling our space with that peaceful feel.
Happiness.
It is moments like you that make life worth living.
Thank you for being you, Beautiful Fall Evening.
Your greatest admirer
PJ
Kinda funny you posted this just yesterday , given what you received in the mail today. It does seem the writing is on the wall, doesn't it?
Yours,
mickeyrat
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
You Suck Ass!!
Regards
Tink
Thanks for doing all the washing. Please remind me to show my appreciation at 10pm tonight.
Love
Tink
I've been investing every waking moment--you've even invaded my DREAMS at times--on a research project that you probably have no interest in funding. As a result of trying to craft the perfect proposal that appeals to tweed-clad English department traditionalists, my supervisor's elite brigade of ultra-modern Digital Humanities specialists and your selection committee grounded entirely outside either field, I've been putting off way too much school work that ACTUALLY MATTERS. So please fuck off with your looming deadline!
Have a nice day,
Lauren
2005: Kitchener/Hamilton/Toronto
2006: Toronto 1 & 2
2008: Hartford/EV Toronto 1 & 2
2009: Toronto/Philadelphia 3 & 4
2010: Buffalo
2011: Montreal/Toronto 1 & 2/Hamilton
2013: London/Buffalo/Vancouver/Seattle
2016: Toronto 1 & 2
2022: Hamilton/Toronto
2023: EV Seattle 1&2
I am sorry to say you were most unsatisfactory. Ryvita why did you suck all the moisture out of the cream cheese? It made you all floppy and the cheese so gooey that it stuck to my teeth. Tesco low fat raspberry yogurt, you were like trying to drink water off a spoon, I now have to go treat patients with yogurt down my top.
Apple - you were lovely and crunchy and juicy. I appreciate your support.
Yours
disappointed
Dear darling wife
I hope you enjoyed the meal I cooked last night but I feel guilty I didn't confess to what happened when I was dishing up. When the corn on the cob was cooked I strained it into a sieve and found myself juggling. Unfortunately the corn fell into the dirty washing up bowl. I confess I rinsed it under boiling water from the kettle and served it up.
Yours guiltily
M xxx
I am currently writing you a letter. Thank you for you. I'll be sending you the letter soon; it will be heavy and in a box filled with supplies.
Thanks for being patient,
Chad deadly
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
You are lovely when you cover the trees in the Hoh Rainforest. You make great tinder for a campfire, and according to some survival experts, can make a tasty broth.
Must you cover my driveway with your super-glue like powers? You are very slippy when it rains, and then it's like you got a shot of steroids because then you get all huffy and start taking over everything. During the rainy season, you make a nice thick lush carpet out of my driveway, and the rain does not let up enough for me to attempt to get rid of your spongy squishy being. You have even choked out my lawn...is that not enough?
I have spent the last 3 hours power washing the driveway, and it looks very impressive, so lovely. Mr. Driveway is now showing off to the other driveways in the neighborhood how clean and tidy they can look. Mr. Lawn has no hope at all...he is dying a slow and painful death thanks to you. Do you collaborate with Mr. Dandelion and Mr. Clover as well? They seem to thrive since you took over. Miss Blackberry Bush says she does not know you...but she is just as annoying as you are....you may be related.
In short, you are not welcome near my house....GO AWAY!
Disgruntled Homeowner
- Christopher McCandless
You are badass.
Since my childhood I have heard your call.
I have always melted into your voice, loved your energy.
As a boy I dreamed of kissing you.
Today I am all grown up and doin' my thing.
I have poetry for you.
Your voice is needed.
Pandora rocks.
Love & Light,
Chad
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
I will not take the bait. Look as hard as you want. I will continue doing what I'm paid to do , HOW I'm told to do it. I will leave on my own terms. IN my own time. But rest assured I will be leaving. And as a parting farewell, where the buried bodies are will become known.
You make 70-80 K a year. And you felt it necessary to complain to those who EARN 8-12 an hour that you didnt get a raise this year? Laughable.
Better clean your sniper rifle very very well. I know I'm in the crosshairs. BUT , I'll wager you still cant hit me from CLOSE RANGE!!!!!
Yours,
A Gruntled Employee
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I got my hoodie, CD and keychain on Friday, yay! Now I will have to fight my spouse for the hoodie...
An extra special thanks for the extra goodie tucked in as well...
You guys are wonderful and thanks again!
Loyal Fan,
4and20
- Christopher McCandless
I would like to inform you that I have sent a letter of reprimand to two of the European Ryder Cup team. After a very difficult year for you I believe it discourteous for two Europeans to give you and your playing partner such a public spanking on the golf course today.
Regards
Roger Myass
PS. Please keep your hands off the local women.
Happy Birthday.
Cheers,
Chad
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
I love you beyond words. If it wasn't for your love and support.....I have no idea what I would do. You all give me balance against the darkness.
♥ and gratitude,
b
I know it is school holidays and you all have your mates over, but can you please stop eating us out of house and home.
From your friends
Fridge and Pantry.
Someone else that happens too. I had to ban them having friends around once as they were costing us a fortune.
Dear Kids,
Just because it is school holidays and you all have your friends around doesn't mean I'm going to put up with bad language, selfish behaviour and sulking because you are not getting your own way.......
PLAY NICE!! or I'll put you in Time-out!
From
The Ghost of Future comming, you little shits.
I am out of memo paper.
Thanks
81
Im very upset about the meeting we had yesterday. You lured me in, looking all comfy and cozy. I took the bait and took a nap on you for about an hour or two before football began. I awoke with a stiff neck that persists till today. Im not quite sure if you are 100% to blame, but I hold both you and the couch pillows accountable. Please be advised that I will be seeking a replacement for you in the near future.
-twisted neck
Why are you running away with yourself too much at the moment. Thoughts all over the place, getting in a flap about stuff. Please desist or I will have to forcibly remove you.
Yours
The body that you live in.
FUCK YOU.
Go suck it,
b
hi! so remember last week you had the thermostat at about 346 degrees? yeah that was pretty bad
so today, you decide that rain and cold is in order...i think today's temp is half of what it was last monday
um...are you on drugs? or, are you off your drugs you should be on? either way, make up your mind, take your meds, whatever
thanks
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
And yeah I know it's seasons changing but I hate that you make the sky dark by 7pm. Fuck you.
Thank you for smiling every morning. You all seem to enjoy your jobs very much.
I don't know how, with thousands of commuters passing through every day, you know that I always get a large hot coffee with cream only. But every morning you have it waiting by the time I get to the front of the line.
You are all very nice and I appreciate it.
Tomorrow I'm going to say that out loud...
With warm regards,
Unlost Dogs
You fuckers rock.
Some dude,
Chad
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
oh she doesn't want to hear my thoughts on the rotation of the earth and shit :twisted:
Thank you for taking the time to share your concerns with me.
I am sorry that my recent performance failed to meet your expectations. Please know that I take this seriously and be assured that the issues that you have identified will be fully reviewed. Upon completion of that review we will be happy to share relevant findings with you.
In the meantime, as a token of my thanks I will be sending in your direction a typhoon, a moderate earthquake, and a plague of locusts.
Thank you again for your time and your continued support.
With sincere appreciation,
Mother Nature