Did you get the memo?

eMMI

Dear DVD Cover Makers,

"True story" is not a movie genre.

Thank you,
Emmi.

eMMI

Dear Bugsy,

you are cute. Just like another dog I know
except partially white.

Mt best,
Emmi.

twisted thoughts

Dear eMMI:
Thank you. My mommy tells me I'm her handsome man all the time, but I think she's a little biased. If I ever travel to Finland I will be sure to contact you and maybe you could arrange a play date with your doggie friend.

-Bugsy

chadwick

81 wrote:

Dear Chad,

You have serious mental problems. Please contact your local mental health clinic as soon as possible.

Thanks
mgmt

Dear 81,

Thank you for your concern with my mental wellbeing. I am currently seeing several different mental health therapists. One day at a time and the voices may gradually subside.

Your medicated pal,
dick tracy

markymark550

Dear former (I'm assuming) grunge fan in Columbia, SC,

Please contact me before deciding to sell your old CDs before selling them to the used record store. I would probably buy them from you for more than you could get at the store. Plus, it would save me a lot of time flipping through the CD stacks.

Thank you,
markymark550

smarchee

Dear person who got on the elevator on the 3rd floor and got off on the 2nd floor

Why can't you take the goddamn stairs? You suck for interupting our pleasant downward elevator direction. Your a lazy shitbag

Sincerely,
Ready to punch you out

pandora

chadwick wrote:

81 wrote:

Dear Chad,

You have serious mental problems. Please contact your local mental health clinic as soon as possible.

Thanks
mgmt

Dear 81,

Thank you for your concern with my mental wellbeing. I am currently seeing several different mental health therapists. One day at a time and the voices may gradually subside.

Your medicated pal,
dick tracy

geez

chadwick

Dear smarchee,

I knew you were a good dude.
Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,
chadwick

justam

Dear Pandi,

How do you come up with these fun and interactive thread topics? Those who wonder about Such Things have been caught wondering!

What's your routine? Do you sit by the pool in the morning with your coffee and note pad? Do you take the dog for a walk and ponder your plan? Are there any diagrams involved?!

Whatever it is, it's working for you, and we're all ready to see what's on the table for tomorrow.

from,
a Sincere Participant

number1PJfan

Dearest new kitten Gremmie,

It is okay to put your feet in the litter box. You do not have to stand on the edge of the box and balance like a tight rope walker to take a shit. Furthermore when you finish it would be just awesome if you would cover the stinky shit up instead of standing on the edge of the box scratching the wall, floor, and air all around the litter box. Instead of making me cover up the stinkiest, smelliest, vilest shit I have ever smelled in my life, put your cute little feet down in there and do it yourself before I throw your ass outside!

hugs,
mom

DangDang

Dear Number1PJfan:

There is a member named "Enkidu" who was looking for "funny" people who were "funny" and who wrote "funny" too.

May I kindly suggest that you consider replying to her including your very funny indeed tight-rope-air-scratcher memo, just as it is, for possible publication in something funny.

Or put a paper plate in the litter for her to neatly stand on.

Sincerely,

DD

Claireack

Dear Cider

I only had a little of you last night but now I have tummy ache - or was it the cheese pattie?

Yours sincerely

Claire

Claireack

Dear Cheese Pattie

Why did I eat you last night, I now have a tummy ache.

Yours sincerely

Claire

number1PJfan

Dear DD,

Maybe it was the beer talking but I guess the referral is appreciated. At the moment I am trying to type whilst looking AROUND this damn cat. Why he wants to sit between me and the monitor I can't figure out for the life of me. Why, oh why, didn't I just leave him in the parking lot where I found him? He definitely is a Gremmie out of Control!

#1

smarchee

dear bathroom,

though I said I would clean you and give you a good scrub this weekend, I have put that off, till now. Prepare for some hot Vim action

dear bowl of weed,

Hey, we only meet occasionally on a Saturday night now, and since I have no plans and am bored, we will meet soon, catch up, maybe listen to some tunes, so just chill for now, and we'll greet in an hour or so

Sincerly,
smarchee

chadwick

Dear smarchee's bowl of weed,

I think you two are about to get baked. Canada was always good to me with its greenery.
North bud, well done. Assuming you are Canadian nug, yes/no? Be well you two and enjoy the clean shitter and shower.

Pacific Northwest stoner clone #12,
chadwick

chadwick

Dear pandora,

I been using the Dear blah-blah thingy in several different threads.
You may have just created a monster.

boo,
chad

chadwick

Dear 81,

That is all.

Your pal,
Chad

unlost dogs

Dear Ghost of Howard Zinn,

I am sorry that I destroyed your wonderful book, "A People's History of the United States." The Little Bitch helped me while The Big Doofus paced around and fretted because "Mom won't like this, she'll be mad." But Mom annoyed me earlier in the day when she took the other two to the beach and left me home. I don't care if she's planning to take me on a special solo trip to the pet store tomorrow. And that I don't like to swim.

You don't want to piss me off. I am not one to be messed with.

So when she went grocery shopping I took my revenge. The Little Bitch was a big help, but first I had to tell her that "Oh, no, Mom won't mind at all! She prefers audiobooks anyway."

Thank you for writing such a very big book, with so many pages to shred. We enjoyed making confetti out of it all over the sunroom and front porch. It was awesome. Totally worth getting yelled and and being put in a time out. You should have seen Mom muttering as she swept up the tiny little pieces. "Blah, blah, blah, BAD DOG, blah, blah, blah." The Little Bitch was all upset and remorseful. It was awesome.

Sweet Pea (a/k/a The Big Bitch and don't you forget it)
Tessie (The Little Bitch)
and Sailor (The Big Doofus. He never gets blamed for anything. Of course, that's because he never does anything wrong. He's such a mama's boy...)

chadwick

Dear King Kong,

I love you big-huge monkey. You are the greatest monkey ever to live. I am very sorry humans are bullshit and evil with guns and bombs and big boats that steal monkeys from islands. You are badass and in monkey heaven probably eating lots of fruit and making baby monkeys with at least 142 monkey girl friends.

A crying little boy,
Chad