A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

Fifthelement · February 2020

lastexitlondon said:

I spoke at length to my eldest. My only son alive. 21.
He is getting like me and well its killing me. I spoke a long time and it made me see how much we teach our kids by just being.
By observation they are you.
Be careful any of you with young kids. You can ruin lives and not have a clue

One take-away from this is that your kids can see their father trying, as much as he’s able, to deal with his mental health in a positive way, I.e. counselling, anti- anxiety/depression meds, etc. With an example like that, they too will be more likely to deal with their issues in a healthy manner.

@rollings Excellent observation. No one gets out of this life alive. If we all would try to make the most of the time that we have on this earth by being kind and putting positivity out in the world, I think it would be a better place all around.

@Matts3221 I’m truly sorry that you had such a toxic childhood growing up. I’m glad that you were able to break the cycle of addiction and abuse.

@Thougts_Arrive I’m sorry to hear your father is unwell. I hope he recovers soon. That being said, don’t put your life on hold for “what ifs.” Move out, and move on to the next phase of your life.

mickeyrat · February 2020

mickeyrat said:

and have you and your sisters and parents had the conversation about care as they age or become ill?

I am estranged from one and the other I have not spoken to about this.
They'll probably just expect me to do it all as I am single and childless.

well dont do anything without everyone expressing their input. including your parents. cultural expectations aside, YOU have the right to decide your fiture. do not feel obligated to meet their expectations. hell, you already have experience in choosing differently.... use it to your benefit.

mickeyrat · February 2020

I guess how tied are you culturally? Arent you more Aus than their heritage?

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Thanks S.

Mickey,
I consider myself more Aussie. I go against most of what I've been raised around.
It is selfish of my mum not to have gone for her driver's licence. In her way of thinking and many others in our ethnic group, driving is a man's thing only. But not all women of our ethnic group are without licence. There are many that drive, it's just her warped view.

lastexitlondon · February 2020

All of a sudden the deepest fear has hit me. This corona virus has my health anxiety through the roof . This is the first time that i recall since being sober and im lost completely fucked. I can't move even

Fifthelement · February 2020

lastexitlondon said:

All of a sudden the deepest fear has hit me. This corona virus has my health anxiety through the roof . This is the first time that i recall since being sober and im lost completely fucked. I can't move even

@lastexitlondon Just breathe. Nothing more. Focus on your breath going in; focus on it going out. You will be okay Rob. Just breathe.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

That's what I'd suggest, diaphragmatic breathing, slow breath in, hold, breathe out slowly

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

So it looks like my dad is in the clear, it's just an enlarged prostate. He's getting a CT scan done tomorrow and will need surgery.

lastexitlondon · February 2020

I cant cope . Its all too much. I don't know what im doing

lastexitlondon · February 2020

My kids. I want to save them

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

there is nothing to save them from

Matts3221 · February 2020

lastexitlondon said:

All of a sudden the deepest fear has hit me. This corona virus has my health anxiety through the roof . This is the first time that i recall since being sober and im lost completely fucked. I can't move even

Rob , take a really deep breath in thru your nose and hold it for a good 10 seconds and slowly exhale , try to do this for a good five mins , when breathing in , breath in the positive and the facts. Corona Virus is not going to get to you or your kids. Currently there are 806 case of it outside of China , so 806 case with a population of 6 Billion ( taking all of China out of the count ) think of those odds , better chance at winning the lottery while getting bitten by a shark at the same time.

Then breath out and just try to think of that breath as your anxiety and feelings about this.

Now I know ( from myself ) this is so much more easier said than done , when you are in the throws of high anxiety over something like this words mean very little , however if you can try that one exercise at least that type of breathing in and out will lower your heart rate and hopeful calm you ( even if only 10% )

I promise you , you and your family are safe and fine. Tune out the news , stay strong.

In the US Corona is all they are talking about with 8 cases in the US , meanwhile the common flu has 100 million at risk but we focus on Corona.

I know it can be scary but I promise you , you and your family will be fine.

Love

RunIntoTheRain · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

So it looks like my dad is in the clear, it's just an enlarged prostate. He's getting a CT scan done tomorrow and will need surgery.

That's great.

There is a saying in the medical field: When you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras. Think about that for a minute.

This applies to life too. Catastrophic thinking isn't productive.

How did the meeting go with the potential housemate?

Matts3221 · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

So it looks like my dad is in the clear, it's just an enlarged prostate. He's getting a CT scan done tomorrow and will need surgery.

Very happy to hear that everything is ok on that end for you friend.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

RunIntoTheRain said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

So it looks like my dad is in the clear, it's just an enlarged prostate. He's getting a CT scan done tomorrow and will need surgery.

That's great.
There is a saying in the medical field: When you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras. Think about that for a minute.
This applies to life too. Catastrophic thinking isn't productive.

How did the meeting go with the potential housemate?

Thank you.

I've never heard of that saying.

I was meant to have dinner with the potential housemates last night but she rescheduled for tonight. I didn't feel up to it last night due to lack of sleep and anxiety.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Matts3221 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

So it looks like my dad is in the clear, it's just an enlarged prostate. He's getting a CT scan done tomorrow and will need surgery.

Very happy to hear that everything is ok on that end for you friend.

Thanks man

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

So I went to dinner at the potential new sharehouse but the daughter wasn't home but her mum said she's okay with me moving in. I would've liked to have met her before moving in.

mickeyrat · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

So I went to dinner at the potential new sharehouse but the daughter wasn't home but her mum said she's okay with me moving in. I would've liked to have met her before moving in.

so do so.

other than that, does the place suit your needs?

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Yes.

I don't think that'll happen before I move in.

I said I'm happy to come around again to meet her but her mum said it's all fine.

My friend thinks she's attracted to me?

deadendp · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Yes.
I don't think that'll happen before I move in.
I said I'm happy to come around again to meet her but her mum said it's all fine.
My friend thinks she's attracted to me?

Your friend thinks that they themselves are attracted to you or the woman you refer to as mum?

Even if, is it that a deal breaker? I think this is your best option to move out. Maybe the lady is just showing kindness. Not a bad thing.

A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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