A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

hedonist · February 2020

Seven weeks, that's fantastic! Also fantastic is the good scan news.

Know that your worrying will do nothing but add to your anxiety. They have to live their lives. YOU have to live yours (though I do understand the concern).

Despite everything, I'm glad to know the possibility of suicide has been shelved. You deserve peace

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Glad to hear the scan is all good.
Have you got an upcoming appointment with a psychologist?
I wish you all the best.

JPPJ84 · February 2020

Good morning!
Rob, would it help to write down factual points? Right now around 10 people who were previously abroad have been infected in the UK. None of them have died. The mortality rate of this virus is way under 1%. So the probability of your kids catching the virus is 0.a whole of a lot zeros and 1.
I do get the concern, I‘m not immune to it either. I just think panicking gets no one anywhere.

lastexitlondon · February 2020

My diagnosis has always been chronic health anxiety and generalised anxiety so these things hit my soul and wont leave. I fear drink is coming soon i cant hold on.
I have an appointment soonish cant remember when but they are useless if im honest. The group i go to i decided not to go anymore its just pointless
People are getting something out of my knowledge and wisdom on memtal issues but they all still drink. A lot. And it annoys me . Its like they take but not give. Anyway that said a man came up ti me on the way out on Friday and said he really likes what i say and said i should be taking groups. Fuck that . I told him thanks but im way too fucked to be of use

lastexitlondon · February 2020

I spoke at length to my eldest. My only son alive. 21.
He is getting like me and well its killing me. I spoke a long time and it made me see how much we teach our kids by just being.
By observation they are you.
Be careful any of you with young kids. You can ruin lives and not have a clue

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

JPPJ84 said:

Good morning!
Rob, would it help to write down factual points? Right now around 10 people who were previously abroad have been infected in the UK. None of them have died. The mortality rate of this virus is way under 1%. So the probability of your kids catching the virus is 0.a whole of a lot zeros and 1.
I do get the concern, I‘m not immune to it either. I just think panicking gets no one anywhere.

I like this cognitive behavioural approach.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

lastexitlondon said:

I spoke at length to my eldest. My only son alive. 21.
He is getting like me and well its killing me. I spoke a long time and it made me see how much we teach our kids by just being.
By observation they are you.
Be careful any of you with young kids. You can ruin lives and not have a clue

Yes, social learning. Children internalise what they see.
My mum has passed on her negativity to me.
Have your psychologists gone over cognitive behavioural tasks with you?

mickeyrat · February 2020

rollings · February 2020

Sometimes I get anxiety and the other day I had an epiphany that the things I get anxious about I should instead turn around and be grateful for.

Like instead of wondering what could happen (wrongly)., I should instead appreciate in the moment what I do have.

It made me feel better. I'm not sure if it will work all the time tho

rollings · February 2020

Something else...when my son was first diagnosed with autism, I felt terrible...like I knew that there was nothing in the world that would take it away. It was despair . Do you know what actually made me feel better? ...and it still helps me put everything in perspective...

The song "Do you realize" by the flaming lips has that line "do you realize ..that everyone you know , someday will die"

I remember thinking of that line one night when looking up at the stars and taking such solace in it...like in the end, it doesn't even matter.

Not to be morbid, but just to put things in perspective . Our lives come and go. Everyone's does... Everybody's worries just die too . A lifetime of worry...just gone all of a sudden

I have no idea why that made me feel better-to this day to a big extent--but it did/does.

mickeyrat · February 2020

good stuff in here....

692: The Show of Delights. Episode: http://feed.thisamericanlife.org/~r/talpodcast/~3/gH2q15VBRGE/the-show-of-delights. Media: https://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/dovetail.prxu.org/188/e69167e6-40a8-4d18-b778-e3ca41556b96/692.mp3. Sent from Podcast Republic.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Sometimes I think to myself that my worries are so insignificant considering the climate change and its associated natural disasters which will only get worse.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

I just cannot cope right now.
My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is.
He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
My mum is alone if I go.
I honestly don't know.

mickeyrat · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I just cannot cope right now.
My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is.
He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
My mum is alone if I go.
I honestly don't know.

get out now. you have at least one sibling no? it is not your responsibility.

it sounds like a kidney stone. these people can take care of themselves yes?

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

mickeyrat said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I just cannot cope right now.
My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is.
He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
My mum is alone if I go.
I honestly don't know.

get out now. you have at least one sibling no? it is not your responsibility.

it sounds like a kidney stone. these people can take care of themselves yes?

I have two older sisters. But they have their own families.
I am the only son, it's my responsibility in my culture.
I have appointments with Honours supervisors all day Thursday and Friday and I don't know what to do as I might be required to drive them to/from hospital.
They told my dad it could be prostate cancer or an infection.
My mum is in tears and shaking.
If something happens to my dad she'll be alone and she does not drive and has poor English skills, my dad does everything for her.

mickeyrat · February 2020

and have you and your sisters and parents had the conversation about care as they age or become ill?

Matts3221 · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

mickeyrat said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I just cannot cope right now.
My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is.
He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
My mum is alone if I go.
I honestly don't know.

get out now. you have at least one sibling no? it is not your responsibility.

it sounds like a kidney stone. these people can take care of themselves yes?

I have two older sisters. But they have their own families.
I am the only son, it's my responsibility in my culture.
I have appointments with Honours supervisors all day Thursday and Friday and I don't know what to do as I might be required to drive them to/from hospital.
They told my dad it could be prostate cancer or an infection.
My mum is in tears and shaking.
If something happens to my dad she'll be alone and she does not drive and has poor English skills, my dad does everything for her.

What are they basing the prostate cancer on?

I was going to agree with Mickey , as someone that has passed more Kidney Stones that I care to share ( silly deformed right kidney from birth ) that was what is sounded like to me. IE: Could not pee and blood in urine when he could pass urine.

Did they do a KUB on him ( Kidney / Uritur (sp) / Bladder ) X-ray ? That would be a quick test followed up with an ultrasound. Of course it could be something else but and I know this is hard , don't jump 50 steps ahead to cancer because they are going to be a lot more tests to figure that out.

Matts3221 · February 2020

lastexitlondon said:

I spoke at length to my eldest. My only son alive. 21.
He is getting like me and well its killing me. I spoke a long time and it made me see how much we teach our kids by just being.
By observation they are you.
Be careful any of you with young kids. You can ruin lives and not have a clue

Rob you never know they could also turn it all around. Grant it , I have high Anxiety and Depression with a nice dash of hypochondria to add on to that.

My father was an alcoholic , abuser ( physical and emotionally ) , treated my whole family like shit. Not say that is you Rob at all but with my father , although I had the choice to be like my dad or someone totally else , although I have my issues. I have always tried to be the most respectful person to any human , to not yell like he did or just say mean things.

You are trying your best Rob , you have my rooting for you in your corner.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Matts3221 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

mickeyrat said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I just cannot cope right now.
My dad had to be taken to emergency tonight and will be in hospital for 2-3 days whilst they try to work out what the problem is.
He couldn't pass urine and they relieved that but there's blood in his urine and he has to wait for blood test results.
I told my university honours coordinator today about issues I am dealing with that may impact my ability to study and now this.
It's 1.30am here and this evening I have dinner at the house I am looking to move into.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if moving out whilst my dad is in hospital is the right thing to do.
My mum is alone if I go.
I honestly don't know.

get out now. you have at least one sibling no? it is not your responsibility.

it sounds like a kidney stone. these people can take care of themselves yes?

I have two older sisters. But they have their own families.
I am the only son, it's my responsibility in my culture.
I have appointments with Honours supervisors all day Thursday and Friday and I don't know what to do as I might be required to drive them to/from hospital.
They told my dad it could be prostate cancer or an infection.
My mum is in tears and shaking.
If something happens to my dad she'll be alone and she does not drive and has poor English skills, my dad does everything for her.

What are they basing the prostate cancer on?
I was going to agree with Mickey , as someone that has passed more Kidney Stones that I care to share ( silly deformed right kidney from birth ) that was what is sounded like to me. IE: Could not pee and blood in urine when he could pass urine.
Did they do a KUB on him ( Kidney / Uritur (sp) / Bladder ) X-ray ? That would be a quick test followed up with an ultrasound. Of course it could be something else but and I know this is hard , don't jump 50 steps ahead to cancer because they are going to be a lot more tests to figure that out.

I don't know. All I know is he's in hospital and waiting on blood test results. He is being transferred to another hospital.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

mickeyrat said:

and have you and your sisters and parents had the conversation about care as they age or become ill?

I am estranged from one and the other I have not spoken to about this.
They'll probably just expect me to do it all as I am single and childless.

A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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