A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

deadendp · January 2020

Matts3221 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thanks for the suggestion.
Too much to think about right now.
I feel sick, my head is throbbing, and I feel depressed as hell.

GET. OUT. OF. THAT. HOUSE.

maybe you don't realize it, but I'd bet that your current living situation is, if not 100%, at least in large part to blame for your mental state and social issues. it's incredibly difficult to leave an abusive relationship, i can't even imagine. well, I suppose I can. I was in one, and before my parents sat me down, I didn't even realize it. it was just a part of my existence, "that's just her, it doesn't bother me" and that's when things turned around for me. that and when I asked my two best friends why they didn't come around anymore, and they said "she's mean to us". I had no fucking clue. I still didn't have the courage to end it for a long time, maybe about a year or so, but it built up and built up until it just happened. and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

that was a girlfriend, yours is obviously your parents. which is much harder to leave behind. but it needs to be done. if not forever, at least some physical separation.

why did you buy a house if you don't live in it? to appease your judgmental mother? if so, that's pretty damn extreme. just sell the thing and get the fuck out of that house.

don't you think your life is a LOT more important than your studies? you already have a degree. what are you going to do when you finish the next round of school? you don't think you're going to be magically ready to move out, do you? you'll probably find another reason to stick around, until it's gone on so long it will become "well now they're old and they want me to stay and help them out" and you're there for life and you're miserable.

you need to leave, and you need to start planning it immediately.

I could not agree more with this.

+10,000

Fifthelement · January 2020

Matts3221 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thanks for the suggestion.
Too much to think about right now.
I feel sick, my head is throbbing, and I feel depressed as hell.

GET. OUT. OF. THAT. HOUSE.

maybe you don't realize it, but I'd bet that your current living situation is, if not 100%, at least in large part to blame for your mental state and social issues. it's incredibly difficult to leave an abusive relationship, i can't even imagine. well, I suppose I can. I was in one, and before my parents sat me down, I didn't even realize it. it was just a part of my existence, "that's just her, it doesn't bother me" and that's when things turned around for me. that and when I asked my two best friends why they didn't come around anymore, and they said "she's mean to us". I had no fucking clue. I still didn't have the courage to end it for a long time, maybe about a year or so, but it built up and built up until it just happened. and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

that was a girlfriend, yours is obviously your parents. which is much harder to leave behind. but it needs to be done. if not forever, at least some physical separation.

why did you buy a house if you don't live in it? to appease your judgmental mother? if so, that's pretty damn extreme. just sell the thing and get the fuck out of that house.

don't you think your life is a LOT more important than your studies? you already have a degree. what are you going to do when you finish the next round of school? you don't think you're going to be magically ready to move out, do you? you'll probably find another reason to stick around, until it's gone on so long it will become "well now they're old and they want me to stay and help them out" and you're there for life and you're miserable.

you need to leave, and you need to start planning it immediately.

I could not agree more with this.

I’ll add my agreement as well. Hugh, I’m glad you were finally able to extricate yourself from that horrible situation. That takes so much courage. (((Hugs)))

HughFreakingDillon · January 2020

it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that.

my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence.

anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.

thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse.

what have you got to lose?

oftenreading · January 2020

HughFreakingDillon said:

it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that.

my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence.

anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.

thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse.

what have you got to lose?

Wow, that’s some “one night stand”

.

HughFreakingDillon · January 2020

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that.

my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence.

anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.

thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse.

what have you got to lose?

Wow, that’s some “one night stand” .

looking back, it was pretty wild.

just not healthy.

Fifthelement · January 2020

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that.

my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence.

anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.

thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse.

what have you got to lose?

Wow, that’s some “one night stand” .

Lol. My one-night stand has turned into an almost thirty year marriage. You never know

hedonist · January 2020

I have never had a one-night stand. It just wasn't me.

I'm OK with having missed out on that

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2020

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thanks for the suggestion.
Too much to think about right now.
I feel sick, my head is throbbing, and I feel depressed as hell.

GET. OUT. OF. THAT. HOUSE.

maybe you don't realize it, but I'd bet that your current living situation is, if not 100%, at least in large part to blame for your mental state and social issues. it's incredibly difficult to leave an abusive relationship, i can't even imagine. well, I suppose I can. I was in one, and before my parents sat me down, I didn't even realize it. it was just a part of my existence, "that's just her, it doesn't bother me" and that's when things turned around for me. that and when I asked my two best friends why they didn't come around anymore, and they said "she's mean to us". I had no fucking clue. I still didn't have the courage to end it for a long time, maybe about a year or so, but it built up and built up until it just happened. and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

that was a girlfriend, yours is obviously your parents. which is much harder to leave behind. but it needs to be done. if not forever, at least some physical separation.

why did you buy a house if you don't live in it? to appease your judgmental mother? if so, that's pretty damn extreme. just sell the thing and get the fuck out of that house.

don't you think your life is a LOT more important than your studies? you already have a degree. what are you going to do when you finish the next round of school? you don't think you're going to be magically ready to move out, do you? you'll probably find another reason to stick around, until it's gone on so long it will become "well now they're old and they want me to stay and help them out" and you're there for life and you're miserable.

you need to leave, and you need to start planning it immediately.

Thanks man.
I bought the house because of this fear that if I don't buy now I will never be able to as house prices were rising fast.
Plus to appease my parents.
I was working full time when I purchased and thought I'd live here and pay it off as soon as I can but that never happened.

I was tossing and turning last night in bed having bad anxiety so feel sleep deprived today.
My mind was racing about these thoughts as I struggled to sleep:
- The people in the sharehouse I move into will soon discover the joke that I am (never had a girlfriend, does not have many friends thus no social life, they'll find me weird for not having a social life and being home all the time etc.)
- I have no rental history so it will be harder to secure a house for rent when I decide to move into my own place rather than living in a sharehouse forever. I worry that I'll end up homeless on the streets if I have to leave a sharehouse and cannot secure a place to rent.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2020

HughFreakingDillon said:

it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that.

my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence.

anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.

thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse.

what have you got to lose?

You weren't harsh.
I have nothing to lose other than my own property and possibly the opportunity to ever purchase a property again.
May I add, everyone that I know that has moved out of home has done so with their girlfriend.
I feel if I had a girlfriend it'd be way easier to move out and into a house with her.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2020

I feel I've lost the respect of my friends and that is too hard to live with.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2020

My heart is pounding in my chest.
I feel like adrenaline is coursing though my veins.
I feel fatigued.

hedonist · January 2020

Stop finding excuses why you can’t (won’t).

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2020

I don't know how this has happened to me.
I've gone from having a full-time job for 7 years to an unemployed slob who has given up on life and become apathetic.

mickeyrat · January 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I feel I've lost the respect of my friends and that is too hard to live with.

factual evidence of this? I wager none. or you've misread things. as with your friend the otherday.

mickeyrat · January 2020

and the success is in the attempt not the result.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2020

Just how I feel people would react to me being a manchild.
I just saw someone advertising looking for a housemate. It is a musicians house. I'd say yes but need to wait till I sell the property.
I'd love to live with other creatives.

mickeyrat · January 2020

stop projecting . you are depressing your self about an ill conceived fantasy.

lastexitlondon · January 2020

I just woke 4.30 am.
I agree with all above. And i know how it is to keep going over the same old ground. You can hear us. But you dont act. At this point we are your friends so when you say ."your friends say" " your friends think"
This is what your friends say and think. Right here. Its sounds harsh but take it or leave it because we at least 5 strong say EXACTLY the same from 4 corners of the globe. What more can friends who care say or do. Its time M.
You are on meds and still suffering that say you are not dealing with the root cause and ypu can medicate with whatever it be meds,drink,drugs,food but the root remains strong. Please stop and act all the to and throw back amd forth is like hanging in mid air but as hugh said. Its when you see it and decide NOW is enough that it will happen. I feel for you in a spin as i am.
My love as always to all who are here for us when we just need to type. Lord knows i need you good souls .

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2020

Thanks Rob.

If anything, tonight convinced me it's time to move out.

I spent all day up until 9pm hanging out with my art teacher in his studio where he helped me with a painting I was struggling with and I watched him paint. It was good for my mental health to just talk and hang out.

I got a phone call on the way home from my dad asking where I am with my mum yelling in the background. They were worried something happened to me. It got me mad that they treat me like a child when I am 35. It was 9pm on a Saturday night dammit. And I did say where I was going to be. Them having stressed me out after hanging out with my art teacher made me more upset. It's like I'm not allowed to be happy.

I was upset that I was made upset after going to my art teacher's studio to de-stress.

lastexitlondon · January 2020

Yep they are controlling and babying you. Not good

A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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