A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

OffSheGoes35

You're trying to find ways to help yourself...picking flowers and veggies...staying off the internet. That's a good sign. Keep it going! 

Matts3221

Yes I have to say staying off the internet may help ( always feel free to post here ) I disable my phone at this point from Social Media and news during the day. Its so easy to catch a headline and then go down a rabbit hole of doom scrolling.

I know we always say baby steps but you got this , so much love for you out there Rob.  

lastexitlondon

Im convinced im dying. And i cant unhook from it. 

Gern Blansten

lastexitlondon said:

Im convinced im dying. And i cant unhook from it. 

do you have a pet? 

lastexitlondon

No just kids. Haha

Gern Blansten

lastexitlondon said:

No just kids. Haha

not sure if it would fit your situation but a companion animal might help you tremendously

HughFreakingDillon

lastexitlondon said:

Im convinced im dying. And i cant unhook from it. 

you know that I had this as well. Obviously not as bad as you (from what you describe), but think about this: how long have you been feeling you've been dying, but you're still here? feelings of impending doom and dying are hallmarks of anxiety. 

I know it's not this easy. I'm having a fucking panic attack as I type this LOL, but once you rationally realize that you've been convinced of the worst for so long, if it were true, you'd be dead already, you might be able to start living again. 

HughFreakingDillon

Gern Blansten said:

lastexitlondon said:

No just kids. Haha

not sure if it would fit your situation but a companion animal might help you tremendously

that's a top notch suggestion. 

NEweather

could you consider going outside into the garden, with (bare) feet touching the ground / earth and maybe fingers in the soil? ( if appropriate weather/natural light of day ) even if only 10-15 minutes?  Thinking of & hoping for you. Hoping everyone who needs relief from "...thoughts he(they) can't help thinkin' ... ", receives what they need

Matts3221

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

Im convinced im dying. And i cant unhook from it. 

you know that I had this as well. Obviously not as bad as you (from what you describe), but think about this: how long have you been feeling you've been dying, but you're still here? feelings of impending doom and dying are hallmarks of anxiety. 

I know it's not this easy. I'm having a fucking panic attack as I type this LOL, but once you rationally realize that you've been convinced of the worst for so long, if it were true, you'd be dead already, you might be able to start living again. 

I find this to be very on point. I would never say I know what you are going thru Rob. I have had heavy depression and anxiety  pretty much from my teen years until today.

I too would not even be able to count the 100's of times I think I am dying and there is no going back. Panic is the worst thing , those who don't understand typical make it worse with blanket statements of just take a deep breath.

It is true thought that I will sometimes realize all the times I thing I am dying since I was 15 and I am almost 43 that it has never happened. Although when in the midist (sp) of a panic attack good luck convincing yourself that.

I know we have spoken about meds before , do you take anything for anxiety ? I take 1mg of Clonazepam before I leave for work in the morning and that does help.

If I get home and feel like I am going to climb up a wall with anxiety , I will take 2mg of it when I get home and do yoga for 30 mins by time yoga or a long walk is over between the medication and exercise my breathing levels come down , heart rate drops , just a sort of calm that takes over.

This may not work for you but please reach out if you need to talk. 

OffSheGoes35

NEweather said:

could you consider going outside into the garden, with (bare) feet touching the ground / earth and maybe fingers in the soil? ( if appropriate weather/natural light of day ) even if only 10-15 minutes?  Thinking of & hoping for you. Hoping everyone who needs relief from "...thoughts he(they) can't help thinkin' ... ", receives what they need

I don't know that we should rule out bare feet in mud.

lastexitlondon

Thanks everyone.  Symptoms  always drive this  and my lack of belief.

OffSheGoes35

lastexitlondon said:

Thanks everyone.  Symptoms  always drive this  and my lack of belief.

How so? 

lastexitlondon

OffSheGoes35 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Thanks everyone.  Symptoms  always drive this  and my lack of belief.

How so? 

The trust  in the  medical  people against my belief  . It sounds  pathetic.  
My diagnosis  mentally is ocd/chronic health anxiety 
So i must trust i don't  think straight,but when i get symptoms  i am 100% believing myself 

OffSheGoes35

It doesn't sound pathetic, it sounds Difficult. It sounds like you would have to go against your nature, your instincts, and that would be hard for anyone.
Wouldn't it be nice to take a vacation from our illnesses? I have uncontrolled diabetes that I'm working to control right now...but I would give just about anything to have a break from the worry and the doctors. 

lastexitlondon

I would love that too.  So much. I feel for you. Illness is so difficult,you end up yearning for the past. For the day you  were really alive and free and knowing its never coming back.
The diabetes- do you  eat a carb free diet. I dont have diabetes but i had inflammation issues and cut carbs and ate one meal a day . I cut 3 stone in under a year and helped. I know you probably know all of that though.

lastexitlondon

It is exactly that going against that instinct and voice inside that ive lived by. I had many traumas  i listed them and its over 10 and they say thats  why im like it

OffSheGoes35

lastexitlondon said:

I would love that too.  So much. I feel for you. Illness is so difficult,you end up yearning for the past. For the day you  were really alive and free and knowing its never coming back.
The diabetes- do you  eat a carb free diet. I dont have diabetes but i had inflammation issues and cut carbs and ate one meal a day . I cut 3 stone in under a year and helped. I know you probably know all of that though.

That's some amazing willpower you got there! I have never done one meal a day, two yes. Right now, I've been instructed to keep my carbs within a certain range for every meal. And I feel like that is doable. I'm not being asked to do anything that is beyond my reach at this point, so that is less of a worry. The worry is that I'm going to kick into hyper organizational mode and then wear myself out and avoid the doctors. That's what I've done in the past.
If I can just stay the course and go at the pace my doctor has set so far, I can get better. Feel better.

I feel for you too. And I wish I could grant you a vacation from memories and worry. Has there ever been a period, since your illness began, in which you felt like it was something you could work with?

OffSheGoes35

It was nice talking to you, Rob. 

hedonist

Illness for sure plays a part. The fun procedures themselves, along with waiting for results. The worry. The ever-present symptoms.  And knowing nothing will really change; just keep it from getting worse.

In a way we all do that — ride the waves, falter sometimes, keep your head above water, sink a bit, and rise again. Always rise again. 

Life ain’t easy, that’s for sure. It’s also what makes us who we are. Navigating those obstacles whether grand or inconsequential…it’s a part of us.

Hang in there, Rob. You’ve done it, you CAN do it. Remember to breathe. 

HughFreakingDillon

hedonist said:

Illness for sure plays a part. The fun procedures themselves, along with waiting for results. The worry. The ever-present symptoms.  And knowing nothing will really change; just keep it from getting worse.

In a way we all do that — ride the waves, falter sometimes, keep your head above water, sink a bit, and rise again. Always rise again. 

Life ain’t easy, that’s for sure. It’s also what makes us who we are. Navigating those obstacles whether grand or inconsequential…it’s a part of us.

Hang in there, Rob. You’ve done it, you CAN do it. Remember to breathe. 

very well said. 

lastexitlondon

Thank you  everyone.  I know so many suffer and im thinking of you today.  God the  sorrow im feeling  24/7 is horiffic even though i keep busy

OffSheGoes35

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you  everyone.  I know so many suffer and im thinking of you today.  God the  sorrow im feeling  24/7 is horiffic even though i keep busy

I hope it alleviates some of your suffering to talk about it. I know it helped me yesterday. I rarely talk about my illness, even though diabetes is one sexy subject. Blood sugar sex magik y'all!

HughFreakingDillon

OffSheGoes35 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you  everyone.  I know so many suffer and im thinking of you today.  God the  sorrow im feeling  24/7 is horiffic even though i keep busy

I hope it alleviates some of your suffering to talk about it. I know it helped me yesterday. I rarely talk about my illness, even though diabetes is one sexy subject. Blood sugar sex magik y'all!

LOL. that's awesome. 

OffSheGoes35

.

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

It is exactly that going against that instinct and voice inside that ive lived by. I had many traumas  i listed them and its over 10 and they say thats  why im like it

have you begun addressing these traumas individually one by one? come to terms on one, move on to the next?

OffSheGoes35

mickeyrat said:

lastexitlondon said:

It is exactly that going against that instinct and voice inside that ive lived by. I had many traumas  i listed them and its over 10 and they say thats  why im like it

have you begun addressing these traumas individually one by one? come to terms on one, move on to the next?

How does one do that? Come to terms with one and move on to the next?

hedonist

OffSheGoes35 said:

mickeyrat said:

lastexitlondon said:

It is exactly that going against that instinct and voice inside that ive lived by. I had many traumas  i listed them and its over 10 and they say thats  why im like it

have you begun addressing these traumas individually one by one? come to terms on one, move on to the next?

How does one do that? Come to terms with one and move on to the next?

It can be ridiculously difficult — and even then, still lingering in ways. Me, I can’t help but hold to (some of) the bad and the ugly; it’s part of my makeup now…of me.

But I do believe it is possible to come to terms with some or all of that/those traumas — to not let it to hold you back, not let it make you doubt yourself, to not allow that baggage to burden you. 

lastexitlondon

Its not conscious for me. 
Damn im waiting  for an appointment  to ENT on friday. Im a  fuckin  mess. I know something is wrong.  Whilst all around me there are people  getting  ill with all sorts and i feel  its all come on top. I feel like im dying 

OffSheGoes35

hedonist said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

mickeyrat said:

lastexitlondon said:

It is exactly that going against that instinct and voice inside that ive lived by. I had many traumas  i listed them and its over 10 and they say thats  why im like it

have you begun addressing these traumas individually one by one? come to terms on one, move on to the next?

How does one do that? Come to terms with one and move on to the next?

It can be ridiculously difficult — and even then, still lingering in ways. Me, I can’t help but hold to (some of) the bad and the ugly; it’s part of my makeup now…of me.

But I do believe it is possible to come to terms with some or all of that/those traumas — to not let it to hold you back, not let it make you doubt yourself, to not allow that baggage to burden you. 

Thank you for that thought out answer. I appreciate it, truly.