Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I used to have bad anxiety the first time I went to a gym. I thought everyone was looking at and judging me.
dude, women fart in hot yoga, with their asses in the air, with people behind them. no one's judging shit. and remember, if someone is judging, that's THEIR insecurity, not a reflection of you.
Flight Risk out NOW!
www.headstonesband.com
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
TA, not to come down on you, but it seems I'm missing something here. Is there a reason you haven't even tried any of these suggestions more than once and / or are discarding them altogether?
People aren't just blowing smoke here...they / we are genuinely trying to support you, whether through simply listening or offering what helps themselves on occasion.
It's just frustrating, confusing even (for me; I speak for no one else), that this thread has been rife with means of finding relief, self-confidence, etc., for years.
We can't do it for you. That, TA, is work YOU need to do. If you're willing to.
Just know that discomfort and failure are part of life. Avoiding either only shortchanges yourself of the possibilities to move through those times and learn from them.
Very wise words Hedo and one can see that it comes from a place of live and concern.
I think everyone who participates in this thread has gone through challenging times. Advice offered comes from personal experience. It’s not meant as a “just get over it” that each of us has probably heard in the past from people who do not know that the struggle is real.
She is absolutely right though, only one person can do the work and that’s the one currently experiencing crises/depression/anxiety, etc. You have to make the choice to deal with it (I.e. meds, diet, exercise, meditation, cut toxic people from your life, even if they are family, etc.) or to not deal with it. Either way, it’s a choice.
We’ll be here to offer support and compassion, but we can’t physically change things for the person in need (although we often wish we could!). Good luck.
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,761
perhaps one day (sooner rather than later I hope) the fear of remaining stuck where you are, as you are will become greater than the fear of change.....
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
„Motivation“?! May I please come down there, kick your butt and scream at you?! Do something, M.!! Please, for your sake! This apathy is so unhealthy and no doubt triggered by your anxiety but if you don’t do something about it and step out of your comfort zone, nothing will ever change. And seriously, how much comfort do you actually find in your comfort zone?!
I struggle to even find the motivation to work on my art which I need to do for homework as part of my weekly art classes. I've become super apathetic in recent years. No motivation to do anything than spend time on social media. No motivation to find a job, to look for love, to play guitar, to read a book, to live.
I know what I need to do. I've heard all your advice. I just don't know if I have it in me to do anything. Thus, I'll stop venting on this forum from now on.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
M, nobody wants you to stop venting. We understand the fear and the lack of motivation. We know that it’s not easy. We know that it’s not comfortable. But we also know that your current situation is not healthy. We want the best for you. We don’t want you to feel that we’re ganging up on you.
Remember, you don’t have to try everything at once. Try one thing, like walking around your neighbourhood for an hour or so for three days in a week. Clear your head, sketch some scenes. If you can manage that and don’t feel overwhelmed, try it again in another neighbourhood or city park. Small, manageable steps are the goal. A safe space to clear your head. (((Hugs)))
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
I hate what I have become. I have no spark, no zest for life. I'm a walking corpse. Always lazy, always lacking energy, tired. I don't even care that I have successfully completed my university degree with a GPA of 6.70 out of 7. Studying was the only thing I cared to do over the last 4 years but I really struggled to be motivated this year and am not sure how I'll push through the demands of honours next year.
It’s not a waste. We believe in you. We know that things are rough now, but there is always hope.
Btw, year four of my BA kicked my ass. I was exhausted and just wanted it to be over. It was a challenge to get assignments done on time. Sad to admit it still, but I know that so many of my papers could have been better if I just weren’t so exhausted and overwhelmed. I needed a couple years off and before I could go on to complete my MA. Consider that completing your uni degree may be a contributing factor to your exhaustion and apathy. Congrats on your awesome GPA though. That’s some hard work you put in to achieve success.
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
Thank you S. I pushed myself to get a high GPA to ensure that I get into Honours.
The current state of Aussie politics, society, global climate change, extinction of wildlife etc etc is just leaving me feeling so hopeless and that there's no point because the world is fucked up.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I hate what I have become. I have no spark, no zest for life. I'm a walking corpse. Always lazy, always lacking energy, tired. I don't even care that I have successfully completed my university degree with a GPA of 6.70 out of 7. Studying was the only thing I cared to do over the last 4 years but I really struggled to be motivated this year and am not sure how I'll push through the demands of honours next year.
Reading up on it is a good step! You must see that it’s all in your head and that you have to force yourself to fight it as the article says. So force yourself, one little step at a time. And if you say you don’t have the strength to do it, read the article again. The answer is in there
Listen to a podcast last night ( How Neil Feel ) cannot recommend it enough , hosted by Neil Brennan (sp) I would suggest his stand up ( Three Mic's ) on Netflix he talks very openly about his depression and anxiety something that made me cry a little the first time I saw it.
One thing he was saying on his podcast last night was that if you are down and cannot get out of the hole TRY ANYTHING, you have nothing to lose , best case you find something to feel better , worst case you move on to something else. No one is trying in any way to be mean or judge you at all. It is a circle of suggestions and suggestions of us trying to give some ideas to help but this is just words on a message board. In the end you have to take that first step. Again I don't want you to think this is picking on you.
Just make a small list of things you will try it can be as simply as ( 15 mins of mediation ) just try things out and keep going with it you have nothing to lose.
Thank you S. I pushed myself to get a high GPA to ensure that I get into Honours.
The current state of Aussie politics, society, global climate change, extinction of wildlife etc etc is just leaving me feeling so hopeless and that there's no point because the world is fucked up.
this is the state I was in at the lowest point of my depression. it turned from "my life sucks" to "there is no point cuz the world sucks". that changes when you get on the right meds or get the right therapy. there is so much to love and be thankful for in the world. you just can't see it at the moment, and I get it. i can't recall, are you on meds? how long have you been on them? do you feel any better on them at all, or are things getting worse? if things are getting worse, go back to your GP immediately and let him know. things should not get worse on meds. if they are, it can lead down a very dark road.
do I still worry daily (sometimes minute-ly) about the state of the planet, especially having two kids, especially one with a chronic illness, that if the world went to shit and she couldn't get meds she'd die? yes, but you try to find the good that we live in and hope it doesn't go to shit in their lifetime, and do what you can to help make sure that doesn't happen.
I believe I have shared that my daughter suffers from major depression and severe anxiety. Add to that a healthy dose of being an introvert. When the going is good, it can be great. When the going is bad, it is like dragging an obstinate elephant through life.
My daughter will be 16 next week. She is still under my roof. We are her transport to and from, including school which is nearly 1/2 hour away. I spend about a half hour each morning trying to get her up and moving. I get how depression is a large part of why we struggle with many aspects of life with her. It kills me, but sometimes we have to push her to do things, and sometimes we need to figuratively drag her along. On a daily basis, I encounter all of that negative self talk that K goes through. We are here, we push, we pull and often she has no choice. Once she is on her own, will we have built her up enough to keep those struggles to a minimum? I don't know. I hope so.
I have a kiddo who talks to me a fair amount. Venting and discussing is a good thing for her. Venting and discussing is a good thing for you. Understand that we are all standing here cheering you on and sometimes we are going to dig in and drag you like the obstinate elephant, but it is only out of love that we do that. Kicking you in the ass is not kicking you in the teeth. We want good things for you and want you to make good things happen for you.
I believe I have shared that my daughter suffers from major depression and severe anxiety. Add to that a healthy dose of being an introvert. When the going is good, it can be great. When the going is bad, it is like dragging an obstinate elephant through life.
My daughter will be 16 next week. She is still under my roof. We are her transport to and from, including school which is nearly 1/2 hour away. I spend about a half hour each morning trying to get her up and moving. I get how depression is a large part of why we struggle with many aspects of life with her. It kills me, but sometimes we have to push her to do things, and sometimes we need to figuratively drag her along. On a daily basis, I encounter all of that negative self talk that K goes through. We are here, we push, we pull and often she has no choice. Once she is on her own, will we have built her up enough to keep those struggles to a minimum? I don't know. I hope so.
I have a kiddo who talks to me a fair amount. Venting and discussing is a good thing for her. Venting and discussing is a good thing for you. Understand that we are all standing here cheering you on and sometimes we are going to dig in and drag you like the obstinate elephant, but it is only out of love that we do that. Kicking you in the ass is not kicking you in the teeth. We want good things for you and want you to make good things happen for you.
No but, but, but....do, do, do.
I love that description of an obstinate elephant. It’s so true! I can envision it so clearly, lifting that load and just trying with everything I had at the time to keep standing, to keep walking, to keep trying. K is a lucky kid to have the family support if and when it’s required instead of just being told to smile and get over it. That’s a precious gift you’re giving. I hope that one day she too can experience periods of her life where she’s doing okay.
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
I believe I have shared that my daughter suffers from major depression and severe anxiety. Add to that a healthy dose of being an introvert. When the going is good, it can be great. When the going is bad, it is like dragging an obstinate elephant through life.
My daughter will be 16 next week. She is still under my roof. We are her transport to and from, including school which is nearly 1/2 hour away. I spend about a half hour each morning trying to get her up and moving. I get how depression is a large part of why we struggle with many aspects of life with her. It kills me, but sometimes we have to push her to do things, and sometimes we need to figuratively drag her along. On a daily basis, I encounter all of that negative self talk that K goes through. We are here, we push, we pull and often she has no choice. Once she is on her own, will we have built her up enough to keep those struggles to a minimum? I don't know. I hope so.
I have a kiddo who talks to me a fair amount. Venting and discussing is a good thing for her. Venting and discussing is a good thing for you. Understand that we are all standing here cheering you on and sometimes we are going to dig in and drag you like the obstinate elephant, but it is only out of love that we do that. Kicking you in the ass is not kicking you in the teeth. We want good things for you and want you to make good things happen for you.
No but, but, but....do, do, do.
I love that description of an obstinate elephant. It’s so true! I can envision it so clearly, lifting that load and just trying with everything I had at the time to keep standing, to keep walking, to keep trying. K is a lucky kid to have the family support if and when it’s required instead of just being told to smile and get over it. That’s a precious gift you’re giving. I hope that one day she too can experience periods of her life where she’s doing okay.
She's got a great support system
After I was initially in the hospital, I was house-bound for several months. It took every ounce of courage and strength to simply walk around the block - barely! - and felt like everyone was looking at me. They weren't.
While my strides are surpassed by many, they're still mine.
And...speaking of Elephants...this song finally spurred me to seek help to begin with. I'm not necessarily happy about this road I'm on, but it's mine to take or stray as I wish. If I've posted it before, apologies. It is a great ass-kicker.
Thank you all for your suggestions, kindness and support.
Deadendp, I didn't know that about your daughter. I'm sorry to hear that she's going through a tough time. She's lucky to have supportive parents that don't judge.
Hugh, I'm on meds. New dose for 2 weeks now. I'll give it time to see if it works.
Hedonist, I like the song.
Matts, I don't have Netflix but will look for the podcast.
Going back to my mother, she'll never be proud of me until I get married to a girl from the same ethnic background as me. She mentioned how some guy I know got married recently to a girl from the same ethnic background and how he makes his mother proud. My university achievement does not matter to her. How can I attend graduation with no-one to celebrate my achievement?
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Comments
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
www.headstonesband.com
People aren't just blowing smoke here...they / we are genuinely trying to support you, whether through simply listening or offering what helps themselves on occasion.
It's just frustrating, confusing even (for me; I speak for no one else), that this thread has been rife with means of finding relief, self-confidence, etc., for years.
We can't do it for you. That, TA, is work YOU need to do. If you're willing to.
Just know that discomfort and failure are part of life. Avoiding either only shortchanges yourself of the possibilities to move through those times and learn from them.
I think everyone who participates in this thread has gone through challenging times. Advice offered comes from personal experience. It’s not meant as a “just get over it” that each of us has probably heard in the past from people who do not know that the struggle is real.
She is absolutely right though, only one person can do the work and that’s the one currently experiencing crises/depression/anxiety, etc. You have to make the choice to deal with it (I.e. meds, diet, exercise, meditation, cut toxic people from your life, even if they are family, etc.) or to not deal with it. Either way, it’s a choice.
We’ll be here to offer support and compassion, but we can’t physically change things for the person in need (although we often wish we could!). Good luck.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Remember, you don’t have to try everything at once. Try one thing, like walking around your neighbourhood for an hour or so for three days in a week. Clear your head, sketch some scenes. If you can manage that and don’t feel overwhelmed, try it again in another neighbourhood or city park. Small, manageable steps are the goal. A safe space to clear your head. (((Hugs)))
Btw, year four of my BA kicked my ass. I was exhausted and just wanted it to be over. It was a challenge to get assignments done on time. Sad to admit it still, but I know that so many of my papers could have been better if I just weren’t so exhausted and overwhelmed. I needed a couple years off and before I could go on to complete my MA. Consider that completing your uni degree may be a contributing factor to your exhaustion and apathy. Congrats on your awesome GPA though. That’s some hard work you put in to achieve success.
Thoughts_Arrived
Listen to a podcast last night ( How Neil Feel ) cannot recommend it enough , hosted by Neil Brennan (sp) I would suggest his stand up ( Three Mic's ) on Netflix he talks very openly about his depression and anxiety something that made me cry a little the first time I saw it.
One thing he was saying on his podcast last night was that if you are down and cannot get out of the hole TRY ANYTHING, you have nothing to lose , best case you find something to feel better , worst case you move on to something else. No one is trying in any way to be mean or judge you at all. It is a circle of suggestions and suggestions of us trying to give some ideas to help but this is just words on a message board. In the end you have to take that first step. Again I don't want you to think this is picking on you.
Just make a small list of things you will try it can be as simply as ( 15 mins of mediation ) just try things out and keep going with it you have nothing to lose.
do I still worry daily (sometimes minute-ly) about the state of the planet, especially having two kids, especially one with a chronic illness, that if the world went to shit and she couldn't get meds she'd die? yes, but you try to find the good that we live in and hope it doesn't go to shit in their lifetime, and do what you can to help make sure that doesn't happen.
www.headstonesband.com
I believe I have shared that my daughter suffers from major depression and severe anxiety. Add to that a healthy dose of being an introvert. When the going is good, it can be great. When the going is bad, it is like dragging an obstinate elephant through life.
My daughter will be 16 next week. She is still under my roof. We are her transport to and from, including school which is nearly 1/2 hour away. I spend about a half hour each morning trying to get her up and moving. I get how depression is a large part of why we struggle with many aspects of life with her. It kills me, but sometimes we have to push her to do things, and sometimes we need to figuratively drag her along. On a daily basis, I encounter all of that negative self talk that K goes through. We are here, we push, we pull and often she has no choice. Once she is on her own, will we have built her up enough to keep those struggles to a minimum? I don't know. I hope so.
I have a kiddo who talks to me a fair amount. Venting and discussing is a good thing for her. Venting and discussing is a good thing for you. Understand that we are all standing here cheering you on and sometimes we are going to dig in and drag you like the obstinate elephant, but it is only out of love that we do that. Kicking you in the ass is not kicking you in the teeth. We want good things for you and want you to make good things happen for you.
No but, but, but....do, do, do.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
After I was initially in the hospital, I was house-bound for several months. It took every ounce of courage and strength to simply walk around the block - barely! - and felt like everyone was looking at me. They weren't.
While my strides are surpassed by many, they're still mine.
And...speaking of Elephants...this song finally spurred me to seek help to begin with. I'm not necessarily happy about this road I'm on, but it's mine to take or stray as I wish. If I've posted it before, apologies. It is a great ass-kicker.
Just take the bite, TA.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
www.headstonesband.com
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1