A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

SD48277 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Matts3221 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

It was a comment I left about Greta Van Fleet on a music page.
I don't know the guy, he's from another city.
It happens all the time which is why it gets to me. Probably why I'm still single and have never had a girlfriend. I genuinely do not like the way I look and people on Facebook have made it clear there is something not right with my appearance. 
I deactivated my old account because of this and started with a new account. Same thing again.

Thoughts Arrived , please don't take this the wrong way but you are placing yourself out there for failing. I understand all too well depression / anxiety / self loathing ect. I went from the ages of 15-30 without really getting much help or very little , with some more self caring about myself from 30-35 , really worked on myself from 35-40 and can say that with a times this year 40 has been the healthiest year I have had mentality.

Cleary you have ( if I am wrong please let me know ) low self esteem , you don't seem to think much of yourself and read very much into what someone says or does not say to you. So putting yourself out online with open comments is just asking to get comments made about you. For the most part any comment section on an internet board is going to be filled with hate and making fun of others.

I would ask , what do you care what this person you have never met thought about you? I think I have said before but you should really set a goal for 2020 that you will just care for yourself , don't worry about dating , don't worry what others will think of you any of that. Just focus on loving yourself , finding what brings you happiness ( not what others think will make you happy ) and just live a year without worrying about those things. Hopeful combining that with therapy will make you feel more comfortable in your skin and these little things will not pull you over the edge. I really think that is a much deeper matter for you than the one off comments , I just think those are the last straw for you and you take it so hard.

I wish you all the best , happy to chat with you about technicians you could use ( mindfulness is very helpful ) , snowed all day and night here yesterday , around 4pm I was ready to just take a nap but I knew that would sleep till 8pm and then just go back to bed at 10pm. I pulled myself out of bed and went to the gym and just jogged for an hour. I know this is easier said than done and I give myself a pat on the back for how far I have come , just a year ago I would have taken the nap.

Be well , take care of yourself and get off social media

Thank you for your reply.
I haven't taken it the wrong way.
I don't know why but I just care. I haven't stopped thinking about it since.
I hate how everyone stares at me when I go out to do grocery shopping at the local shopping plaza. 
I feel like a freak. I genuinely feel like I am ugly which is why people make fun of me and stare.
Well done for pushing yourself to go to the gym and for improving yourself.

Right now I just feel like I cannot do anything right.
A job I applied for in October seems to have not eventuated. Have not heard from the place I applied.
And all those jobs I had to apply for in order to receive my unemployment welfare payments I have heard nothing back.
I started art classes and feel like I am not good enough. Tonight is my third class and I'm thinking is there a point to spending my money.

The point of taking a class is to learn, to improve. If the teacher had nothing to teach you, that would be a waste of your money. Go into this with Beginner's Mind, as the Buddhists say. Go to the National Gallery of Victoria (general entry is free). Don't compare, but be inspired. Go to the Botanical Gardens, and take pictures of what you find beautiful or interesting. Throw out whatever this limited mindset is that you are currently holding. 

Fifthelement said:

Matts3221 said:

I would say anyone on this tread should take a moment to reflect on life and remember this is the holidays. For those that suffer this can be the hardest time of year for some of us. So keep that in mind.

Retraining your brain was mentioned above is something that takes so much work but can be so very helpful. I worked on this for years in therapy and the way it was first explained to me helped me understand it better. Basically think of your brain as a trail in the woods.  For years you have been going down the trail of hating on yourself , negative thoughts ect ect. The trail is laid down pack you walk it everyday. You need to start a new trail and that is not easy you are going into the forest with no path , however with a lot of work and support that forest will soon have a light foot path and can become your new path of thinking.

Had a high level panic attack today that last for the last three hours. I was able to finally talk myself down , not perfect I have tons of issues and I hope I never come off as preachy , just trying to share anything that has helped me in hopes that it helps you.

That’s a great visual tool Matts.  And you’re right, the holidays can be a real trial for many.  Finding a space to be safe is so important.

I'm so sorry that you experienced a bad panic attack today.  I’m glad you were eventually able to talk yourself down.  (((Hugs)))

I think we are all just trying to share techniques that we’ve learned, whether through therapy or not, that may or may not work for others.  It’s good for those who are currently in a “good place,” as well, cause the “bad place” is always there in the back of your mind waiting to catch you unaware.  The more we share about our experiences, the more tools we have at our disposal to help manage our everyday lives.

Change is scary, even if it means you’ll eventually be in a better place.  It’s hard to leave what’s comfortable and familiar even if it is toxic.  This is a wonderful space to share and support each other even if we can’t be here everyday.

Sending love and light to all who need it, now and in the future.