Drunk stories...

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  • DS1119
    DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    On day during the World Cup last year I started the morning by running 22 miles (i was marathon training at the time- although I never ended up running one), had a light snack and went to the beach. My friend called and asked me to meet her at the bar up the road to watch the game. So I did. Soccer and beers. Not a bad combo. Well after a few beers we declared it World Cup Bender Day. We bar hopped half way across the city drinking beers, sitting in the sun and watching games. In the evening we stopped and got a taco. One taco each. Ended up at one of my favorite bars, where I ran into a crew of Irish dudes that I know. (Evenings spent with them always end up with me very very drunk.) I was already very very drunk and they had just returned from the world cup and had those vuvuzela horns. It quickly became a shit show. My girlfriend left and went home with some dude. I was stuck with my Irish buddies and proceeded to get more wasted. They NEVER just put me in a cab. Fuckers. They like me to suffer. They keep buying me drinks, playing Pearl Jam on the juke box and encouraging me to play the vuvuzela along to the music. I have to say I rocked RVM and Spin the Black circle. DRUNK. I decide to leave. I'm walking out the door to the bouncer's relief and I run into a buddy of mine from work. He insists on buying me a drink. He buys me several. At one point we are talking and I reach behind me, grab my beer and take a big sip. It's not beer. It's whiskey. normally that wouldn't be a problem, but after 12 hours of a beer bender, little food and then a giant swig of whiskey I'm fucked. I go to the bathroom immediately to take care of the problem. (I am a boot and rally girl when necessary) Except it hits me too quick. I shoulder dive into the toilet. Somehow I hit the toilet perfectly because the tank shatters. And I face plant. Water is everywhere. I'm dripping with tank water. I am spinning so hard at this point I stumble out to the horrified looks of several women waiting in line. Its the only toilet mind you. I beeline for the door and someone somewhere got me in a cab and I went home. I kinda blacked out along the way but remember giving the cab driver $40 on $20 fare and telling him to "just keep it". I'm sure I spoke clearly. Wake up the next morning in the hallway in a sock and underwear, and a nascar hat where the s is a lightening bolt. Drive by the bar later the day and there is a a plumber parked out front. The amazing thing is I didn't have a single bruise on me. I ran into my buddy a few days later and he was like "where'd you go- I turned around to get us drinks and you disappeared, then some drunk chick fell into the toilet and smashed it, and everyone had to use the men's room all night." :lol::lol:


    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • conman
    conman Posts: 7,493
    i was home on leave about 2 years ago and my buddy(same one from the boston story, we've been best friends since kindergarten, he's basically my brother) called and said we should get a few beers and some lunch at about 1pm, i said sure....

    we go out get lunch and start boozing hard. throughout the day we hit just about every bar in the neighborhood and later on that night we decide it was a good idea to go to the strip club(some things happened there that i won't post because i don't want to get banned :P ). the last thing i remember my buddy said to me "you just disappeared for like an hour" and then he disappeared for an hour.....

    i woke up on my mothers porch when she opened the door to go to work, she locked the door and i don't have a key... she gave me a disgusted look and said "get in the house" :lol:
  • pineapplesandwaves.
    pineapplesandwaves. GTA Posts: 1,808
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    I shoulder dive into the toilet. Somehow I hit the toilet perfectly because the tank shatters. And I face plant. Water is everywhere. I'm dripping with tank water. I am spinning so hard at this point I stumble out to the horrified looks of several women waiting in line. Its the only toilet mind you. I beeline for the door and someone somewhere got me in a cab and I went home. I kinda blacked out along the way but remember giving the cab driver $40 on $20 fare and telling him to "just keep it". I'm sure I spoke clearly. Wake up the next morning in the hallway in a sock and underwear, and a nascar hat where the s is a lightening bolt. Drive by the bar later the day and there is a a plumber parked out front. The amazing thing is I didn't have a single bruise on me. I ran into my buddy a few days later and he was like "where'd you go- I turned around to get us drinks and you disappeared, then some drunk chick fell into the toilet and smashed it, and everyone had to use the men's room all night." :lol::lol:

    :lol:

    You win!

    :lol:
  • RW81233
    RW81233 Posts: 2,393
    so far... :lol:
  • CAVSTARR313
    CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    That is an awesome story Rye...you should probably change your name to Legend!!!
    I would agree.... Or "Coolest mutha fucka to grace the face of the mutha fuckin earth" may be more appropriate
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • ShimmyMommy
    ShimmyMommy Posts: 7,505
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    That is an awesome story Rye...you should probably change your name to Legend!!!
    I would agree.... Or "Coolest mutha fucka to grace the face of the mutha fuckin earth" may be more appropriate

    + a gazillion!!
    Lots of love, light and hugs to you all!
  • DS1119
    DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    I drank a little too much in Cooperstown, NY and did the...who who hehe in the Baseball Hall of Fame with my girlfiend. :thumbup:
  • jimbojones1138
    jimbojones1138 Posts: 3,640
    holy shit! how many drunken stories include somethhing to do with syracuse university?

    i have more drunken stories from su than i can remember... actually i dont really remember much of college...SU was so much fun...the best 5 and a half years of my life!
    it's largely due to eddie that i liked to jump off of things as a child...
  • DS1119
    DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    jimbojones1138 wrote:
    the best 5 and a half years of my life!


    :lol: :thumbup: :clap: :thumbup: :lol: :clap: :thumbup: :lol: :clap: :thumbup: :clap: :lol:
  • dcfaithful
    dcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    On day during the World Cup last year I started the morning by running 22 miles (i was marathon training at the time- although I never ended up running one), had a light snack and went to the beach. My friend called and asked me to meet her at the bar up the road to watch the game. So I did. Soccer and beers. Not a bad combo. Well after a few beers we declared it World Cup Bender Day. We bar hopped half way across the city drinking beers, sitting in the sun and watching games. In the evening we stopped and got a taco. One taco each. Ended up at one of my favorite bars, where I ran into a crew of Irish dudes that I know. (Evenings spent with them always end up with me very very drunk.) I was already very very drunk and they had just returned from the world cup and had those vuvuzela horns. It quickly became a shit show. My girlfriend left and went home with some dude. I was stuck with my Irish buddies and proceeded to get more wasted. They NEVER just put me in a cab. Fuckers. They like me to suffer. They keep buying me drinks, playing Pearl Jam on the juke box and encouraging me to play the vuvuzela along to the music. I have to say I rocked RVM and Spin the Black circle. DRUNK. I decide to leave. I'm walking out the door to the bouncer's relief and I run into a buddy of mine from work. He insists on buying me a drink. He buys me several. At one point we are talking and I reach behind me, grab my beer and take a big sip. It's not beer. It's whiskey. normally that wouldn't be a problem, but after 12 hours of a beer bender, little food and then a giant swig of whiskey I'm fucked. I go to the bathroom immediately to take care of the problem. (I am a boot and rally girl when necessary) Except it hits me too quick. I shoulder dive into the toilet. Somehow I hit the toilet perfectly because the tank shatters. And I face plant. Water is everywhere. I'm dripping with tank water. I am spinning so hard at this point I stumble out to the horrified looks of several women waiting in line. Its the only toilet mind you. I beeline for the door and someone somewhere got me in a cab and I went home. I kinda blacked out along the way but remember giving the cab driver $40 on $20 fare and telling him to "just keep it". I'm sure I spoke clearly. Wake up the next morning in the hallway in a sock and underwear, and a nascar hat where the s is a lightening bolt. Drive by the bar later the day and there is a a plumber parked out front. The amazing thing is I didn't have a single bruise on me. I ran into my buddy a few days later and he was like "where'd you go- I turned around to get us drinks and you disappeared, then some drunk chick fell into the toilet and smashed it, and everyone had to use the men's room all night." :lol::lol:

    :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    This thread can officially be closed.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • jimbojones1138
    jimbojones1138 Posts: 3,640
    new years day 2004 i woke up in the hospital. when i came to i asked the nurse what i did to get arrested...

    1) started the evening off the night before with a flask full of jack...bottle of citron in my bag.
    2) i got entirely fucked up on citron at the pre party at friend's apartment in manhatten
    3) knocked over armoire TWICE like it was a domino!
    4) head to party
    5)shortly before midnight i black out
    6)friends call embulence and one guy is holding me up like im a rag doll in standing spooning stance (im passed out, he's bear hugging me...im just dead weight)
    7) according to my friends, as the stroke of midnight as they hear everyone screaming "happy new year" i puke all over my friends arms, which are holding me up...
    8) i come to in the er, iv in my arm (some sorta gatoraide cocktail)
    9) nurse winks at me, says i was admitted as "john doe" telling me, "everyone gets one jail out of free card"... i never did get an er or ambulence bill...


    ...according to my friends, at the party i was so hammered that i started throwing food off of the huers derves table at people, most of who i didnt even know (not like it makes any difference if i did). apparently i made some kid wear a bowl of spinach dip. right before i get ejected from party i fall face/head first into a bunch of cabinets...combination of alcohol and probably at this point a concussion three of my friends carry me horizontally into the bathroom like im a battering ram to make me puke, which i didnt... layed my head down on the piss covered toilet seat until they decide to call ambulence... as i mentioned above i thought i got arrested, but the nurse showed me i was not handcuffed. she congratulated me for being the very first person admitted into the er for the year of 2004!

    ...not one of my better moments
    it's largely due to eddie that i liked to jump off of things as a child...
  • voidofman
    voidofman Posts: 4,009
    dcfaithful wrote:
    :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    This thread can officially be closed.

    I was waiting for her to come in with the coup de grâce! :lol:
  • voidofman
    voidofman Posts: 4,009
    jimbojones1138 wrote:
    apparently i made some kid wear a bowl of spinach dip.

    For the love of God, please tell me there's a picture of this somewhere! :lol:
  • Stardog3..
    Stardog3.. Posts: 1,527
    edited August 2012
    These stories are great.
    Post edited by Stardog3.. on
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    On day during the World Cup last year I started the morning by running 22 miles (i was marathon training at the time- although I never ended up running one), had a light snack and went to the beach. My friend called and asked me to meet her at the bar up the road to watch the game. So I did. Soccer and beers. Not a bad combo. Well after a few beers we declared it World Cup Bender Day. We bar hopped half way across the city drinking beers, sitting in the sun and watching games. In the evening we stopped and got a taco. One taco each. Ended up at one of my favorite bars, where I ran into a crew of Irish dudes that I know. (Evenings spent with them always end up with me very very drunk.) I was already very very drunk and they had just returned from the world cup and had those vuvuzela horns. It quickly became a shit show. My girlfriend left and went home with some dude. I was stuck with my Irish buddies and proceeded to get more wasted. They NEVER just put me in a cab. Fuckers. They like me to suffer. They keep buying me drinks, playing Pearl Jam on the juke box and encouraging me to play the vuvuzela along to the music. I have to say I rocked RVM and Spin the Black circle. DRUNK. I decide to leave. I'm walking out the door to the bouncer's relief and I run into a buddy of mine from work. He insists on buying me a drink. He buys me several. At one point we are talking and I reach behind me, grab my beer and take a big sip. It's not beer. It's whiskey. normally that wouldn't be a problem, but after 12 hours of a beer bender, little food and then a giant swig of whiskey I'm fucked. I go to the bathroom immediately to take care of the problem. (I am a boot and rally girl when necessary) Except it hits me too quick. I shoulder dive into the toilet. Somehow I hit the toilet perfectly because the tank shatters. And I face plant. Water is everywhere. I'm dripping with tank water. I am spinning so hard at this point I stumble out to the horrified looks of several women waiting in line. Its the only toilet mind you. I beeline for the door and someone somewhere got me in a cab and I went home. I kinda blacked out along the way but remember giving the cab driver $40 on $20 fare and telling him to "just keep it". I'm sure I spoke clearly. Wake up the next morning in the hallway in a sock and underwear, and a nascar hat where the s is a lightening bolt. Drive by the bar later the day and there is a a plumber parked out front. The amazing thing is I didn't have a single bruise on me. I ran into my buddy a few days later and he was like "where'd you go- I turned around to get us drinks and you disappeared, then some drunk chick fell into the toilet and smashed it, and everyone had to use the men's room all night." :lol::lol:

    and this was just last year

    you're the shit! :thumbup: :clap: :mrgreen:
  • RYEzupSF
    RYEzupSF Posts: 6,003
    norm wrote:
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    On day during the World Cup last year I started the morning by running 22 miles (i was marathon training at the time- although I never ended up running one), had a light snack and went to the beach. My friend called and asked me to meet her at the bar up the road to watch the game. So I did. Soccer and beers. Not a bad combo. Well after a few beers we declared it World Cup Bender Day. We bar hopped half way across the city drinking beers, sitting in the sun and watching games. In the evening we stopped and got a taco. One taco each. Ended up at one of my favorite bars, where I ran into a crew of Irish dudes that I know. (Evenings spent with them always end up with me very very drunk.) I was already very very drunk and they had just returned from the world cup and had those vuvuzela horns. It quickly became a shit show. My girlfriend left and went home with some dude. I was stuck with my Irish buddies and proceeded to get more wasted. They NEVER just put me in a cab. Fuckers. They like me to suffer. They keep buying me drinks, playing Pearl Jam on the juke box and encouraging me to play the vuvuzela along to the music. I have to say I rocked RVM and Spin the Black circle. DRUNK. I decide to leave. I'm walking out the door to the bouncer's relief and I run into a buddy of mine from work. He insists on buying me a drink. He buys me several. At one point we are talking and I reach behind me, grab my beer and take a big sip. It's not beer. It's whiskey. normally that wouldn't be a problem, but after 12 hours of a beer bender, little food and then a giant swig of whiskey I'm fucked. I go to the bathroom immediately to take care of the problem. (I am a boot and rally girl when necessary) Except it hits me too quick. I shoulder dive into the toilet. Somehow I hit the toilet perfectly because the tank shatters. And I face plant. Water is everywhere. I'm dripping with tank water. I am spinning so hard at this point I stumble out to the horrified looks of several women waiting in line. Its the only toilet mind you. I beeline for the door and someone somewhere got me in a cab and I went home. I kinda blacked out along the way but remember giving the cab driver $40 on $20 fare and telling him to "just keep it". I'm sure I spoke clearly. Wake up the next morning in the hallway in a sock and underwear, and a nascar hat where the s is a lightening bolt. Drive by the bar later the day and there is a a plumber parked out front. The amazing thing is I didn't have a single bruise on me. I ran into my buddy a few days later and he was like "where'd you go- I turned around to get us drinks and you disappeared, then some drunk chick fell into the toilet and smashed it, and everyone had to use the men's room all night." :lol::lol:

    and this was just last year

    you're the shit! :thumbup: :clap: :mrgreen:

    Damn you for pointing that out. I thought I'd escaped that point. :lol::lol:
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    Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
    You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
    There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
  • afroannnie
    afroannnie Posts: 12,995
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    norm wrote:
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    On day during the World Cup last year I started the morning by running 22 miles (i was marathon training at the time- although I never ended up running one), had a light snack and went to the beach. My friend called and asked me to meet her at the bar up the road to watch the game. So I did. Soccer and beers. Not a bad combo. Well after a few beers we declared it World Cup Bender Day. We bar hopped half way across the city drinking beers, sitting in the sun and watching games. In the evening we stopped and got a taco. One taco each. Ended up at one of my favorite bars, where I ran into a crew of Irish dudes that I know. (Evenings spent with them always end up with me very very drunk.) I was already very very drunk and they had just returned from the world cup and had those vuvuzela horns. It quickly became a shit show. My girlfriend left and went home with some dude. I was stuck with my Irish buddies and proceeded to get more wasted. They NEVER just put me in a cab. Fuckers. They like me to suffer. They keep buying me drinks, playing Pearl Jam on the juke box and encouraging me to play the vuvuzela along to the music. I have to say I rocked RVM and Spin the Black circle. DRUNK. I decide to leave. I'm walking out the door to the bouncer's relief and I run into a buddy of mine from work. He insists on buying me a drink. He buys me several. At one point we are talking and I reach behind me, grab my beer and take a big sip. It's not beer. It's whiskey. normally that wouldn't be a problem, but after 12 hours of a beer bender, little food and then a giant swig of whiskey I'm fucked. I go to the bathroom immediately to take care of the problem. (I am a boot and rally girl when necessary) Except it hits me too quick. I shoulder dive into the toilet. Somehow I hit the toilet perfectly because the tank shatters. And I face plant. Water is everywhere. I'm dripping with tank water. I am spinning so hard at this point I stumble out to the horrified looks of several women waiting in line. Its the only toilet mind you. I beeline for the door and someone somewhere got me in a cab and I went home. I kinda blacked out along the way but remember giving the cab driver $40 on $20 fare and telling him to "just keep it". I'm sure I spoke clearly. Wake up the next morning in the hallway in a sock and underwear, and a nascar hat where the s is a lightening bolt. Drive by the bar later the day and there is a a plumber parked out front. The amazing thing is I didn't have a single bruise on me. I ran into my buddy a few days later and he was like "where'd you go- I turned around to get us drinks and you disappeared, then some drunk chick fell into the toilet and smashed it, and everyone had to use the men's room all night." :lol::lol:

    and this was just last year

    you're the shit! :thumbup: :clap: :mrgreen:

    Damn you for pointing that out. I thought I'd escaped that point. :lol::lol:

    :lol::lol::lol: Amazing story Rye!
    Next time we meet up, we must party together! :D
    Show #13 was a lucky one for me....
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    I feel like unlost...I had to look up 'boot and rally'... :oops:
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Mamasan23
    Mamasan23 Posts: 16,390
    Most of my better moments happen when I'm partying with my friends in Watertown, WI. If you're familiar with that town then you know what kind of shitshows occur here...

    One weekend last spring my hubby was out of town so I went up to Watertown to party with my friends. Friday night we hit about 5 or 6 bars and got insanely hammered. By the 3rd bar I started walking up to random people and sang lines from Poison songs to them. I made a lot of best friends that night needless to say! The last bar we went to had one of those punching game things and of course I thought it would be a great idea to do it. In my drunken stupor I hit the thing as hard as I could and felt something really bad happen to my hand/wrist, but was too drunk to really care. After bartime, we walked back to my buddy's house, who lives on the river. So the drinking continues. All of a sudden I got the urge to do cartwheels in the backyard. Every time I did one, shooting pain shot up the arm of the hand I hurt, but I continued on! A couple of my friends joined me, then we began 'swordfighting' with sticks on the ground. Then I started flinging one of my friends around onto the ground...directly into the piles of dogpoo! So of course he returned the favor. We figured the only way to get the crap off of us was to jump in the river. Mind you, it was probably about 3:30am by this point. When we get back into the house, my friend strips to his boxers and I wrap myself in a blanket. No one was asleep yet, so we laid in the hallway and played imaginary drums for about a half hour...ended up passing out just like that in the hallway. When I woke up the next morning my hand was swollen to the size of a grapefruit so I went to the ER and found out I broke a capillary in my hand. No big deal...get back to my friend's house and cracked open a beer for the insanity to continue!
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2, Wrigley '24 N1 & 2
  • Yellow Ledbelly
    Yellow Ledbelly Posts: 3,749
    I have many to tell...but this is a favorite round here

    My cousin's niece was getting married a few years back. We began drinking beers on the way to it and hit the open bar quite hard. There was a live band, so my at some point my cousin, another less drunk friend and myself walked up on the stage. The singer looks over and says 'can we help you?' Yeah, we want to sing. Well the crowd is taking notice and we tell them we want to do The Weight by The Band since they had already played it and we all knew it. After a couple minutes of hemhawing around, we just gathered around the mic, started singing and the band joined in. We turned that mutha out

    Afterwards, we get back to cousin's house – my house is across the road about 100 yards away – and cousin's wife tells me she won't let me leave because I am too drunk. So it ends up I'm sleeping on one couch and the other singing friend is on the other couch...parallel to each other on opposite sides of the room. Well sometime during the night I am awakened by that guy looking up at me saying
    "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"
    "I'm pissing."
    "WELL FUCKIN' STOP! You're pissing on the damn end table." (as well as his glasses)
    I finish up...go lay back down on the couch.
    Of course he raises hell and makes me get back up....but man was I fucked up as a road lizard. As drunk as I was I'll never forget him waking up and realizing I was standing right behind him pissing
    All I have to do is revel in the everyday....then do it again tomorrow

    They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all

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