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Drunk stories...

DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
edited November 2012 in All Encompassing Trip
We all have at least "one of those nights" where the alcohol creeps up on you and before you know it it's one of those epic "drunk story" nights. Here's my first one. Let's here them.




I was at a bachelor party and got absolutely smashed on Lemon Drops...smashed. I walked home about three miles and woke up on my bathroom floor with my pants around my ankles...grass stains on my knees like I had been walking for a bit with my pants down and had actually fallen...and me using as a pillow a metal Syracuse Orangeman trash can I had. I had actually punched a huge dent/crease in the trash can so my head would fit in there securely like it was a pillow. The next day I was such a hurting puppy...but it was a good night that night.
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Comments

  • CH156378CH156378 Posts: 1,539
    first!
  • rival.rival. Posts: 7,775
    i was the guy that spent a night passed out on a public bench.

    my parent's town in jersey is about one square mile. got TRASHED (trashed) at a buddy's house which could not have been more than 6 or 7 blocks from home. left the party, got incredibly lost (lived in this town for 19 years at the time), just aimlessly walking. after walking for what seemed like an hour or two, i thought i was best off sleeping on a bench, not a park bench, but a pubic bench on the corner of a busy intersection.

    woke up, must have puked as there was some on the ground. walked to burger king that was across the street and crushed a whopper. made my way home and probably slept for about 18 hours straight.

    was happy to wake up to puke and not a cop poking me!
  • SD48277SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    One night that comes to mind is when I was attending Syracuse. The plan was I was going to hang out with some friends at one bar and then meet up with another group of friends later in the evening. Yeah...I left the first group of friends and somehow ended up back in my dorm room. The second group of friends found me in my bathroom throwing up. The next day I had people who I did not know coming up to me talking with me about things from the night before. I had no recollection of the time between when I left my friends to when I returned to my room. Fortunately (or not), there were people who were filling in the details for me (apparently I was at a magic show at one point in the evening). I wish I could say I learned my lesson that night, but it took a few years later for me to learn it.
    ELITIST FUK
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    SD48277 wrote:
    (apparently I was at a magic show at one point in the evening). .


    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • mackmrlxmackmrlx Posts: 8
    Was in Montego Bay, walking down the main drag late at night, few too many wobbly pops. Random guy asks me if I fancied a game of dominoes. Sure. End up in a construction site, playing dominoes with some locals who take it really seriously apparently. I win the third hand, slam my domino down and then have 2 guns pulled on me warning me that slamming dominoes is against the rules and I lost that hand. Not arguing I play for a while longer, losing a little bit of money and leave the building site intact. Was a fun night though!
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    I went to San Francisco this past weekend.. yada yada yada, I ended up naked in the pacific ocean

    I missed not one, but two flights home.. thank god for that man at the southwest counter.. Third time is a charm!!!
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    Had a few too many at a company retreat. They were playing Name That Tune and my team was divided into two rival teams.

    I stood up and sang part of the chorus to Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful."




















    (this was last night)
    :oops:
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    I went to San Francisco this past weekend.. yada yada yada, I ended up naked in the pacific ocean
    :shock:
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    unlost dogs wrote:
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    I went to San Francisco this past weekend.. yada yada yada, I ended up naked in the pacific ocean
    :shock:
    It was great!!! I have been naked in two oceans now!! here I come indian ocean!!!
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • RYEzupSFRYEzupSF Posts: 6,003
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    unlost dogs wrote:
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    I went to San Francisco this past weekend.. yada yada yada, I ended up naked in the pacific ocean
    :shock:
    It was great!!! I have been naked in two oceans now!! here I come indian ocean!!!

    Much better choice than the Arctic Ocean. I hear that one is pretty cold.
    BrowserPreview_tmp_zps26eff4aa.gif

    Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
    You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
    There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    unlost dogs wrote:
    :shock:
    It was great!!! I have been naked in two oceans now!! here I come indian ocean!!!

    Much better choice than the Arctic Ocean. I hear that one is pretty cold.
    as I recall, the pacific didn't leave me looking to "flattering" :mrgreen:
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • peacefrompaulpeacefrompaul Posts: 25,293
    I drank a half a bottle of peach rum and half a bottle of watermelon vodka. I knocked some shit over, ran into a fridge, hit a wall and found my way to the bathroom. I threw up and passed out with my head in the toilet. I was a stupid 15 year old. :lol:
  • RYEzupSFRYEzupSF Posts: 6,003
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    as I recall, the pacific didn't leave me looking to "flattering" :mrgreen:

    shrinkage+seinfeld.jpg

    :lol::lol::lol:
    BrowserPreview_tmp_zps26eff4aa.gif

    Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
    You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
    There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    as I recall, the pacific didn't leave me looking to "flattering" :mrgreen:

    shrinkage+seinfeld.jpg

    :lol::lol::lol:
    shrinkage is a bitch!!!! :lol::lol:
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • Out of My Mind and TimeOut of My Mind and Time Posts: 1,333
    There was this one time...at Alpine....that was a @$!@%$! mess!
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    they all end the same...locked in the bathroom spooning the toilet...what is it about the bathroom floor that's so damn comfy when you're near alcohol poisoning? :think: :problem:
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    unlost dogs wrote:
    Had a few too many at a company retreat. They were playing Name That Tune and my team was divided into two rival teams.

    I stood up and sang part of the chorus to Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful."

    :lol::lol::lol::lol:




















    (this was last night)
    :oops:
  • RYEzupSFRYEzupSF Posts: 6,003
    norm wrote:
    they all end the same...locked in the bathroom spooning the toilet...what is it about the bathroom floor that's so damn comfy when you're near alcohol poisoning? :think: :problem:

    It is good for temperature control. The floor is cold so when you get really hot you just lay there. If you get cold you can just reach up and pull a towel off the rack. There is nothing like that cool floor when making vomit love to the porcelain. Especially when you follow it with a pedialite pop.
    BrowserPreview_tmp_zps26eff4aa.gif

    Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
    You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
    There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    norm wrote:
    they all end the same...locked in the bathroom spooning the toilet...what is it about the bathroom floor that's so damn comfy when you're near alcohol poisoning? :think: :problem:
    I believe it is the coolness..

    Bill Cosby said it better than all.. "thank you toilet bowl, thank you for being so cool on the side.. you're the only one who understands me toilet bowl..."
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • rival.rival. Posts: 7,775
    norm wrote:
    they all end the same...locked in the bathroom spooning the toilet...what is it about the bathroom floor that's so damn comfy when you're near alcohol poisoning? :think: :problem:

    :lol:

    the cold tile is so welcoming!

    and why have i never thought, "ok, your bedroom is too fuckin far away, but the bathtub is right here. why don't i climb in there and get off the floor?"
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    RYEzupSF wrote:
    pedialite pop.


    isn't that a Scritti Politti song? :think: :-P
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    rival. wrote:
    norm wrote:
    they all end the same...locked in the bathroom spooning the toilet...what is it about the bathroom floor that's so damn comfy when you're near alcohol poisoning? :think: :problem:

    :lol:

    the cold tile is so welcoming!

    and why have i never thought, "ok, your bedroom is too fuckin far away, but the bathtub is right here. why don't i climb in there and get off the floor?"

    at that point, moving is the last thing i wanna do...i mean, that's like a 2 and half foot climb...fuck that! :P
  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    18 years old, my sisters wedding...


    we started drinking before we got to the church...
    i was drinking anything i could my hands on, i don't remember most of the reception. the last thing i remember is closing out the night with baba o'reily and my whole family screaming on the top of our lungs 'we're all wasted'

    i woke up the next morning on the floor of the hotel hallway, missing a shoe, missing my bowtie, missing my tux jacket and for some reason had my arms wrapped around a centerpiece from one of the tables at the reception...
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    conman wrote:
    for some reason had my arms wrapped around a centerpiece from one of the tables at the reception...

    :lol::lol:
  • peacefrompaulpeacefrompaul Posts: 25,293
    conman wrote:
    18 years old, my sisters wedding...


    we started drinking before we got to the church...
    i was drinking anything i could my hands on, i don't remember most of the reception. the last thing i remember is closing out the night with baba o'reily and my whole family screaming on the top of our lungs 'we're all wasted'

    i woke up the next morning on the floor of the hotel hallway, missing a shoe, missing my bowtie, missing my tux jacket and for some reason had my arms wrapped around a centerpiece from one of the tables at the reception...


    Epic :thumbup:
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    conman wrote:
    18 years old, my sisters wedding...


    we started drinking before we got to the church...
    i was drinking anything i could my hands on, i don't remember most of the reception. the last thing i remember is closing out the night with baba o'reily and my whole family screaming on the top of our lungs 'we're all wasted'

    i woke up the next morning on the floor of the hotel hallway, missing a shoe, missing my bowtie, missing my tux jacket and for some reason had my arms wrapped around a centerpiece from one of the tables at the reception...
    we have to party!!! better yet, you should be my date for the next wedding I go to.. not in a gay way.. just simply for the photo opps!! :lol:
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • rival.rival. Posts: 7,775
    norm wrote:

    at that point, moving is the last thing i wanna do...i mean, that's like a 2 and half foot climb...fuck that! :P

    which then begs the question. what is it about NOT moving that is SO awesome when you are on the verge of alcohol poisoning?

    don't talk to me, don't touch me, don't even breathe on me. if you comply, i just might be OK in 16 hours.
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    norm wrote:
    they all end the same...locked in the bathroom spooning the toilet...what is it about the bathroom floor that's so damn comfy when you're near alcohol poisoning? :think: :problem:


    hmmm...i'll make sure to use the carpeted bathroom.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    Here's another one. Visting a buddy of mine at Cornell circa 1994. There is a Chinese restaurant in the downtown area of Ithaca. They serve these things called Dragon Bowls. Its this big fuckin dish of mixed liquor that everyone at the table drinks from with a straw...maybe a half gallon of liquor in each bowl. There were four of us and I think we shared two dishes. We ended up at this bar called American Pie and it was a bar located on the second floor of a building...what genius thought of this?? I mean you literally had to go up twenty or so steps to get to it. Well we hit the bar something fierce. For some reason one of the last things I remember is someone started buying Goldschlager shots...it's a scnapps with gold leaf floating in it and is the last thing you want to be drinking when you've already had too much. Suddenly I needed "some air" so I decide to go outside. According to my buddy I was with (the two girls we went to dinner with had left us)there I hit exactly every step falling down to get out of the bar. :lol: I was found sleeping the next mornig on a mailbox in downtown the next morning.

    make-out-large-cardboard-box-800x800.jpg

    I literally just layed on top of the mailbox and fell asleep. Feet off of the ground and everything. :lol::lol:
  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    we have to party!!! better yet, you should be my date for the next wedding I go to.. not in a gay way.. just simply for the photo opps!! :lol:
    it's a date!





    :P
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