Drunk stories...

mickeyrat

dcfaithful wrote:

rick1zoo2 wrote:

all of your stories are reminding me of some of my escapades:

1. first time I got drunk, at a party when I was a teenager. Drank too many beers too fast which caused projectile vomiting in the living room of the girl I was trying to date. My buddies rolled me out to the bushes in the yard where I stayed until they were done partying, they then carried me to the back seat of the car, they drove to the pizza shop, ate pizza in the front, while I lay in the back. At one point, I opened the door to lean out and puke, they thought it was hilarious, bastards!

Hey, at least they took care of you though and didn't leave you in the bushes?

No shit. Be glad you didnt run with us. We'd have done your makeup for you, pantsed you, THEN we'd have left you!!!

dcfaithful

rick1zoo2 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

rick1zoo2 wrote:

all of your stories are reminding me of some of my escapades:

1. first time I got drunk, at a party when I was a teenager. Drank too many beers too fast which caused projectile vomiting in the living room of the girl I was trying to date. My buddies rolled me out to the bushes in the yard where I stayed until they were done partying, they then carried me to the back seat of the car, they drove to the pizza shop, ate pizza in the front, while I lay in the back. At one point, I opened the door to lean out and puke, they thought it was hilarious, bastards!

Hey, at least they took care of you though and didn't leave you in the bushes?

right, I was like the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's, they just kept carrying me around while they partied, until they finally dropped me off about a block from home

Were you able to find your way home? There was a story here in Utah about a teen who got really shit-faced and tried to go home but snuck back into the wrong house. He was found the next morning passed out in the some little girls bed. Apparently in that neighborhood a lot of the houses look the same.

Funny, but kind of not at the same time.

dcfaithful

mickeyrat wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

rick1zoo2 wrote:

all of your stories are reminding me of some of my escapades:

1. first time I got drunk, at a party when I was a teenager. Drank too many beers too fast which caused projectile vomiting in the living room of the girl I was trying to date. My buddies rolled me out to the bushes in the yard where I stayed until they were done partying, they then carried me to the back seat of the car, they drove to the pizza shop, ate pizza in the front, while I lay in the back. At one point, I opened the door to lean out and puke, they thought it was hilarious, bastards!

Hey, at least they took care of you though and didn't leave you in the bushes?

No shit. Be glad you didnt run with us. We'd have done your makeup for you, pantsed you, THEN we'd have left you!!!

Exactly. I passed out one time in front of all my good friends and found out the next morning that I was the human canvas all night. It even began before I fell asleep as I was so volunteering apparently.

The best piece of "art" was my friend writing "Hot Dog Stand" on my back with an arrow pointing to my ass. :?

rick1zoo2

mickeyrat wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

rick1zoo2 wrote:

all of your stories are reminding me of some of my escapades:

1. first time I got drunk, at a party when I was a teenager. Drank too many beers too fast which caused projectile vomiting in the living room of the girl I was trying to date. My buddies rolled me out to the bushes in the yard where I stayed until they were done partying, they then carried me to the back seat of the car, they drove to the pizza shop, ate pizza in the front, while I lay in the back. At one point, I opened the door to lean out and puke, they thought it was hilarious, bastards!

Hey, at least they took care of you though and didn't leave you in the bushes?

No shit. Be glad you didnt run with us. We'd have done your makeup for you, pantsed you, THEN we'd have left you!!!

LOL!

RKCNDY

I have no funny drunk stories....since I tend to projectile vomit before any fun ensues.

though I did research Ed's favorite wine, I can handle dinking that...but I just can't afford it...or rather, it would have to be really special occasion for me to spring for a bottle of it.

I do have funny vomiting stories...

dcfaithful

Anyone guilty of getting really drunk and releasing some incoherent emotions?

Pretty sure I'm guilty of this, and I've also helped some others through it too.

dcfaithful

RKCNDY wrote:

I do have funny vomiting stories...

Thread transition, because I've got a funny one to share too. Let's just say that I don't think I'm welcome in a particular Holiday Inn in Downtown Atlanta anymore.

rick1zoo2

2. During college, a buddy and I would go to his girlfriend's house that she shared with a bunch of other girls at her school, about an hour away. One time we had everclear and kool-aid and I vaguely remember walking all around the neighborhood in my socks, thinking I have to keep moving because if I stop things will spin out of control and I will start puking. I also remember we lifted a telephone pole that was laying on the side of the street, not sure why.

DS1119

New Years' Eve 1991 and we are all home for the first time from college. We end up at this girl's house for a party. Typical high school/college house party. The house was a weird design and the kitchen was sunken down...to get out you had to take some stairs up either direction you went. There were kegs at the party and us genius' figured it would be a good night to start funneling beer. Well that went pretty well but if you have ever funneled beer it can get quite messy. Before we knew it, we were standing in about 6-7 inches of beer. It was in her cabinets, appliances,even crept up onto the carpeting of the stairs. When I woke up the next morning I looked at my pants and there was a beer stain so I could actually see how deep the beer had gotten. I walk out of the bedroom and my buddy is eating and he had the line of the century that still cracks me up...he looks up at me and says "dude I puked so hard last night it bounced". Apparantly he puked on the car ride home and it splashed of the pavement hitting him in the face.

Gary Carter

..

dcfaithful

Leaving a party one time, a sober driver was nice enough to give me a ride home. I unfortunately puked out of the window on the interstate and it got all over the car. I was so drunk that I knew I wouldn't be able to clean it up, but I offered anyway and said, "stop at a car wash, I'll pay for it and spray it clean"

She stopped at a gas station and handed me one of those fucking window cleaners! She wasn't happy and showed it.

DS1119

dcfaithful wrote:

mickeyrat wrote:

Exactly. I passed out one time in front of all my good friends and found out the next morning that I was the human canvas all night. It even began before I fell asleep as I was so volunteering apparently.

The best piece of "art" was my friend writing "Hot Dog Stand" on my back with an arrow pointing to my ass. :?

I shaved off my best friends eyebrow once but only the one over his left eye. All summer we called him Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes.

dcfaithful

DS1119 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

mickeyrat wrote:

Exactly. I passed out one time in front of all my good friends and found out the next morning that I was the human canvas all night. It even began before I fell asleep as I was so volunteering apparently.

The best piece of "art" was my friend writing "Hot Dog Stand" on my back with an arrow pointing to my ass. :?

I shaved off my best friends eyebrow once but only the one over his left eye. All summer we called him Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes.

Did he find much humor in that?

DS1119

dcfaithful wrote:

Did he find much humor in that?

Fuck no. He was pissed at me for about a month. All I will say is eyebrows grow back really slowly. I think I did it either on or around the 4th of July and it was probably not back to normal until around Thanksgiving. Couple of years later I was the best man in his wedding.

pandora

I think I told this one on another thread along with my pond episode
so I need to recall new material ... there's plenty

but

I woke up one morning after a wild night of disco,
the lamp next to the bed was broken

and it appears I got out of my pantyhose through
one of the knees :shock:

I would have liked to have seen that!

There are no witnesses...

afroannnie

I have many stories...but the "Mace story" ranks up there...Sorry it's a long one..but I think it's worth the read..

It was NYE...4-5 years ago. I was planning on hanging out with a close friend, her boyfriend and then tons of his friends (none of which I had ever met before...and after this story, I never saw them again). Anyway, first we headed to my friend's boyfriend's friend's house for some pre-party beverages and to drop off our stuff (we were all spending the night there). Oh and before I get to far into this I should mention that I'm 5 foot and weigh about 100 lbs. So, I have 2-3 mixed drinks at the party..or was it wine? Maybe champagne? You get the idea. So after this we all load into a shuttle and head to Baltimore. Before we get to our main destination (which has an OPEN bar), we stop at the open market for a beer...which I guzzle down pretty quickly since everyone is anxious to get to the open bar.

As soon as we hit the bar, I start downing White Russians...I always drank these on NYE for some reason..I think it started after watching the Big Lebowski a million times. Anyway, as we drank, we munched on little appetizers here and there, but nothing substantial. I'm not sure how many white russians I had but they were strong and I had many. About 10 minutes before the midnight countdown...my friend and I decide that we better head to the bar once more for champagne. As the bartender begins to open the bottle, my friend asks "How much for the whole bottle?" Well since it was an open bar..the guy just handed us the whole bottle :shock:
At this point we began drinking it straight from the bottle and also pouring a little for friends. The countdown
was a blur and then the next thing I know is that my friends are all outside and some kind of "situation" is occurring. I decide to chug some more of the champagne before I head out to see what's going on...I think I may have handed the almost empty bottle to somebody.It turns out that my friend's boyfriend's friend had gotten into a fight and then somehow he got maced. My friend's boyfriend helps him, but the mace gets on him(that night I learned that mace transfers very easily) and he sits down on the curb since he is blind at this point. I decide that I should help out..and in my drunk state, I have an epiphany that since it's pepper spray..milk will help the burning go away. I go to the door man and ask for milk...he says they don't have milk. I tell him "listen! I've been drinking white russians all night! I know you have milk!" Apparently this scared him a bit because the next thing I know, I have a cup of milk in my hand and I'm pouring it down the face of my friend's boyfriend :?
My friend has managed to get us a cab and my friend, her boyfriend and I get in. Within a couple of minutes I realize that the mace as now transferred from my friend's boyfriend to me and I'm instantly blinded and in pain. Getting maced really hurts!
I'm not sure if it was the addition of the mace, or all the alcohol catching up to me, or the motion of the cab, but at this point I realize I will not be able to make it home without puking. I roll down the window and get my head out as far as I can, because I don't want to puke in the cab. Apparently, this is not good enough for the cab driver and he threatens to drop us off along 695 (beltway in MD). My friend begs him to take us to our destination and that she'll pay extra and we'll clean off the cab. He obliges and takes us home. At this point, I still can't open my eyes, so when we get back to my friend's boyfriend's friend's house, I stumble blindly out of the cab and curl up in the fetal position on the lawn. Someone yells "what is that in the lawn? A dog?" My friend says "No! That's Ashlee!". After cleaning off the cab, my friend helps me into the house and up the stairs. At some point it is apparently decided that throwing me in the shower is the best way to get the mace out of my eyes. My friend begins to undress me. I hear someone say "well you don't have to take her underwear off!" She puts me the shower, and I finally am able to get my eyes open and half dry off and put on some pjs and my friend helps me downstairs to where everyone is sleeping.
To top it off, at some point, I lost my cell phone and the next morning my friend's boyfriend tried to figure out why all his clothes from the night smelled like sour milk

DS1119

afroannnie wrote:

I have many stories...but the "Mace story" ranks up there...Sorry it's a long one..but I think it's worth the read..

It was NYE...4-5 years ago. I was planning on hanging out with a close friend, her boyfriend and then tons of his friends (none of which I had ever met before...and after this story, I never saw them again). Anyway, first we headed to my friend's boyfriend's friend's house for some pre-party beverages and to drop off our stuff (we were all spending the night there). Oh and before I get to far into this I should mention that I'm 5 foot and weigh about 100 lbs. So, I have 2-3 mixed drinks at the party..or was it wine? Maybe champagne? You get the idea. So after this we all load into a shuttle and head to Baltimore. Before we get to our main destination (which has an OPEN bar), we stop at the open market for a beer...which I guzzle down pretty quickly since everyone is anxious to get to the open bar.

As soon as we hit the bar, I start downing White Russians...I always drank these on NYE for some reason..I think it started after watching the Big Lebowski a million times. Anyway, as we drank, we munched on little appetizers here and there, but nothing substantial. I'm not sure how many white russians I had but they were strong and I had many. About 10 minutes before the midnight countdown...my friend and I decide that we better head to the bar once more for champagne. As the bartender begins to open the bottle, my friend asks "How much for the whole bottle?" Well since it was an open bar..the guy just handed us the whole bottle :shock:
At this point we began drinking it straight from the bottle and also pouring a little for friends. The countdown
was a blur and then the next thing I know is that my friends are all outside and some kind of "situation" is occurring. I decide to chug some more of the champagne before I head out to see what's going on...I think I may have handed the almost empty bottle to somebody.It turns out that my friend's boyfriend's friend had gotten into a fight and then somehow he got maced. My friend's boyfriend helps him, but the mace gets on him(that night I learned that mace transfers very easily) and he sits down on the curb since he is blind at this point. I decide that I should help out..and in my drunk state, I have an epiphany that since it's pepper spray..milk will help the burning go away. I go to the door man and ask for milk...he says they don't have milk. I tell him "listen! I've been drinking white russians all night! I know you have milk!" Apparently this scared him a bit because the next thing I know, I have a cup of milk in my hand and I'm pouring it down the face of my friend's boyfriend :?
My friend has managed to get us a cab and my friend, her boyfriend and I get in. Within a couple of minutes I realize that the mace as now transferred from my friend's boyfriend to me and I'm instantly blinded and in pain. Getting maced really hurts!
I'm not sure if it was the addition of the mace, or all the alcohol catching up to me, or the motion of the cab, but at this point I realize I will not be able to make it home without puking. I roll down the window and get my head out as far as I can, because I don't want to puke in the cab. Apparently, this is not good enough for the cab driver and he threatens to drop us off along 695 (beltway in MD). My friend begs him to take us to our destination and that she'll pay extra and we'll clean off the cab. He obliges and takes us home. At this point, I still can't open my eyes, so when we get back to my friend's boyfriend's friend's house, I stumble blindly out of the cab and curl up in the fetal position on the lawn. Someone yells "what is that in the lawn? A dog?" My friend says "No! That's Ashlee!". After cleaning off the cab, my friend helps me into the house and up the stairs. At some point it is apparently decided that throwing me in the shower is the best way to get the mace out of my eyes. My friend begins to undress me. I hear someone say "well you don't have to take her underwear off!" She puts me the shower, and I finally am able to get my eyes open and half dry off and put on some pjs and my friend helps me downstairs to where everyone is sleeping.
To top it off, at some point, I lost my cell phone and the next morning my friend's boyfriend tried to figure out why all his clothes from the night smelled like sour milk

Love stories like this!

RKCNDY

dcfaithful wrote:

RKCNDY wrote:

I do have funny vomiting stories...

Thread transition, because I've got a funny one to share too. Let's just say that I don't think I'm welcome in a particular Holiday Inn in Downtown Atlanta anymore.

I don't think I am welcome at the Hard Rock in San Fran anymore...sorry Ryez!

oona left

(1000th post!)

Went out drinking, don't remember much.

I woke up in a vehicle. As I was coming to, I looked up at the ceiling. The upholstery was blue. I clearly remember thinking, "That's not my dome light..." I was suddenly filled with dread that I had stolen the car and gone joyriding.

Turned to the window to at least find out where I was. I looked out, then DOWN.

I had passed out (gone to sleep?) in a Ford Bronco on a used car lot. The Bronco just happened to be on those risers. Oh, and this is on the main thoroughfare in town. A busy street if there ever was one 'round those parts.

It took a while for me to remember if it was Saturday (which would have been very, very bad), or Sunday. Thank God it was Sunday - there was no nonchalant way to clamber out of that thing from way up high and bolt across give lanes of traffic in my condition

Thus began yet another walk of shame, this one about four miles and change.

rick1zoo2

RKCNDY wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

RKCNDY wrote:

I do have funny vomiting stories...

Thread transition, because I've got a funny one to share too. Let's just say that I don't think I'm welcome in a particular Holiday Inn in Downtown Atlanta anymore.

I don't think I am welcome at the Hard Rock in San Fran anymore...sorry Ryez!

few years ago we ate at the local chinese buffet. I was at the front counter in the lobby paying the bill and one of my sons barfed all over the floor. I felt bad and offered to clean it, but the lady behind the counter said "oh, no worry, it happen all the time"