Ok. So let's start with the VERY FIRST time I ever got drunk. Now mind you I drank, just had never actually been retarded wasted drunk until this one night. I worked at a riding stables in Norco Ca., called River Trails Riding Stables. It was called that, cause it was right off of the Santa Ana River. I had begun work there as a yard manager, and lead trainer for all the new horses. I was trying to make some new friends there, and I had a few bar tricks up my sleeve, like drinking an entire six pack of beer at once etc.. So the owner was this major Mormon,so we weren't allowed to drink on property. But since he left the property at 9 sharp every night leaving us go close up at 12 midnight, we sent a guy on horseback mind you, to the liquor store to buy a gallon of JD, and a 12 pk of Pepsi. By this time, our horseshoer Calvinshows up. Now ya'll know how cops can be in Cali.. This guy was a total trip! He was 35, and vying for early retirement. LA County said no, he was mid lawsuit against them go retire 20 years early. So they couldn't deny him 'work', but they couldn't pay him full time either. So he worked part time as a ' mounted enforcement officer'. Meaning he rode his horses out in the foothills of SoCal looking for pot operations. So when he'd get big hauls, he and his buddy Joe would keep some back and sell it go us at the stables, or the bar up the road where Joe's trampy wife worked. So.. Leroy gets back with the booze, my best friend Kieth and I just bought an ounce to slit from Calvin, and then Joe and his trampy horse trader wife Calina show up. So we decide to play Presidents and Assholes around the fire, while Kieth. Leroy and I get blazed, and we all pass around the gallon of JD. ( din't worry, all the riders were in, and horses were safely put up for the night.) well there was this all night diner up on the Mesa, so mid game, and about 7/8 of the way through the gallon, Kieth and I get the munchies.. And all we can think about is 99 cent biscuits and gravy! So we jump on our horses, and start out.. This is as far as iiiii remember. The rest has been relived in regaled form
For the last umpteen years, until River Trails closed. We were hauling ass down the through way, under the freeways, and coming up on the River. All was well until we HIT the river... At which point, I passed out... IN the river. If not for Calvin and Joe following us, I probably would have drowned! I woke up the next afternoon with a note pinned to me like a kindergartener. It read:
Tree, you passed out in the river! Dumbass! ( yes he called me a dumbass in the note!) you're cut off!!
Calvin.
Ps. Tangueray is tied to your mailbox. Told Grandpa you were sick with the flu. Hope you wake up
Before 1!!
My first drunken incident....17 I had been playing BB for Six Hours earlier on an empty stomach. Later some friends and I went a liquor store and somebody got me a bottle of something called
Mad Dog 20/20 (anybody every heard of it, oh this was 1877?) and chips.
Anyway, I decided to drink the entire bottle straight. I wasn't a drinker at all but we continued the night to a party. A rocking party, I wasn't feelin so hot from dancing to some good music. Last thing I remember was hearing KRAFTWERK Trans Europe Express playing sat down on the stairs and everything went black. Next thing I awake in my house face down in my bed fully clothed around noon the next day. My room smelt like a winery, even with the windows were open in the middle of winter in MD. Lucky my mother wasn't home she would have killed me.
I had some good friends to get me home in the snow in whatever condition I was in. How they knew where I lived is a mystery to me and I never found out what happened during the time I blacked out. Maybe I was too embarrassed to ask and MAYBE that's why today I don't drink really about 4 drinks a year.
Peace
Post edited by g under p on
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
Oh god!! Md 20/20 has a few tales of its own!!! I drank GASOLINE cause of that shit!!!
Here's that story..although.. I should wait til I get back from
The doc's so I can tell you the WHOLE story.. Cause it was like.. A twenty-four hour fiasco!!
Yeah I'll wait til I get back. Cause you can't miss the flammable puke part!!
Oh god!! Md 20/20 has a few tales of its own!!! I drank GASOLINE cause of that shit!!!
Here's that story..although.. I should wait til I get back from
The doc's so I can tell you the WHOLE story.. Cause it was like.. A twenty-four hour fiasco!!
Yeah I'll wait til I get back. Cause you can't miss the flammable puke part!!
Ok... Here is the worst of the MD20/20 stories. Although waking up in a snow storm, outside..20 mins before I had to be at work is a close runner up! Incidentally both stories happened in Ok. So.. Red, White, and Boom. That was where we were going, it was a summer concert being t held at Sanstone Ampitheatre, a mere four hour drive over into Kansas. So my oldesr sister and I, she was my roomate, each had fifteen days off. Hers requested, mine was a monthly accumulation that they MADE me take. We get together with the neighbor andhiscute friend, and this chick I was trying to 'get with'. Thus was during what I now refer to as " The Gay Old Decade". We catch up with our weed guy, get some smoke, some shrooms and the neighbor guy buys some acid. Then we hit a drive thru liquor store on the way out. We pack our ice chest full of cheap gross Busch beer and we each buy two bottles of MD20/20. We hit the road, and the 69 hwy,( soooo not kidding !!) is long and boring and desolate as fuck from OK to Sandstone. My older sister is driving, and me and this girl are in the back, smoking out and drinking beers, along with shots of thisMD. About 3/4 of the way to Sandstone, the car runs out of gas. ( cause we're idiots..and bought pot instead of gas). So my sister sends my drunk ass to go buy some fuel enough to get the car to the next gas station. Which we can see from where we broke down...but... We have no gas cans.. So this girl I wanted to date comes up with the " brilliant idea" to drink all of the rest of the Mad Dog, and put the gasoline in the empty bottles. Done, and off I go.. I stumble all the say there, get the gas, and I'm walking g back with these four bottle of gasoline in unwashed Mad Dog bottles. I trip, drop one, the neck breaks, I save it., and as I'm stumbling back to the car in 110 degree heat WITH HUMIDITY.. I am thirsty as fuck! And I ( without thinking mind you) start to swig down the contents of the broken bottle. I get about one gulp Dow before I remember it's gasoline. Then we put the shit in the car get more gas, and continue on.. We make it to Sandstone, meet up with our friends, and go
Inside. We have our weed, and our huge buzz.. (Trust me I know none of us should have been driving!) but no papers to roll with, z d no pipe. So we ask our neighbor friend who has papers and no more weed if he'd roll is a joint. he's taken his acid on the road, unbeknownst to us. So it's Blues Traveller playing and he starts dancing around like a fairy, and he's just tossing the weed everywhere., like fairy dust. My sister is laid and slaps me across the face out of nowhere. The chick I was 'with' gets up and leaves, never to be seen again. Though she was kind enough to
Leave a voice message letting me know she made it back to OK safe, no thanks to me and my psycho sister! Lmao! So we get in this huge fight in Dandstobe, and er're just slap oxi g it out.. Til finally I puke. And it totally smells like gasoline, so
This guy pulls out a lighter, and lights my puke on fire! And suddenly my sister and are laughing our asses off!! On the ride home, our car burnt up.. ( sugar from the MD20/20), and we had to squish into a Honda Civic with four other people that were all on acid. Ahhhhh what a fucking crazy night!!
^^ I started cringing at the mention of Busch beer. Blech, that's nasty shit.
A friend of mine told me the story of a friend of his in high school who showed up to a party in the woods with his dad's Porsche. He "borrowed" the car to get to the party. The guy got so tanked that he decided on the drive home (yep, he drove home) that the best way to stay on the road would be to use the guardrails as his guides. Needless to say, the dad came home to a Porsche that had the shit scraped out of the sides.
^^ I started cringing at the mention of Busch beer. Blech, that's nasty shit.
A friend of mine told me the story of a friend of his in high school who showed up to a party in the woods with his dad's Porsche. He "borrowed" the car to get to the party. The guy got so tanked that he decided on the drive home (yep, he drove home) that the best way to stay on the road would be to use the guardrails as his guides. Needless to say, the dad came home to a Porsche that had the shit scraped out of the sides.
Oh I've fallen out windows, into fires, down entire flights of stairs, off of a deck, into the ocean, off a small cliff. I've puked on people, pissed in somone's cupboard, passed out in a snowstorm, ( literally in it.. That was an MD20/20monent too. I've knocked other people out while falling down. I've passed put standing up, and talking to someone! There's s reason I quit drinking! Lol
Then there was another genius who left one of the local bars at 3-ish in the morning, flew down the road (a quiet little road in a residential area), went right past the stop sign (and the cop car sitting near the stop sign), crossed the road, and went right on to the local golf course on the other side of the road. Once he hit the golf course, the car started flipping. The guy was alright (minor bruising), but he was completely busted. Dumbass should've known that the cops sit there late at night.
Then there was another genius who left one of the local bars at 3-ish in the morning, flew down the road (a quiet little road in a residential area), went right past the stop sign (and the cop car sitting near the stop sign), crossed the road, and went right on to the local golf course on the other side of the road. Once he hit the golf course, the car started flipping. The guy was alright (minor bruising), but he was completely busted. Dumbass should've known that the cops sit there late at night.
Hahahaha! Sorry to laugh, but my cousin was outrunning the cops one night, and he had his girlfriend open the garage door, so he could be inside by the time the cops caught up.. But the brakes failed, and he went THROUGH THE GARAGE! Into his back yard! The mieghbors called the police to report the accident, in the hopes that my cousin was ok.. Turns out he was exactly who they were looking for! He got fifteen years for that!
Then there was another genius who left one of the local bars at 3-ish in the morning, flew down the road (a quiet little road in a residential area), went right past the stop sign (and the cop car sitting near the stop sign), crossed the road, and went right on to the local golf course on the other side of the road. Once he hit the golf course, the car started flipping. The guy was alright (minor bruising), but he was completely busted. Dumbass should've known that the cops sit there late at night.
Hahahaha! Sorry to laugh, but my cousin was outrunning the cops one night, and he had his girlfriend open the garage door, so he could be inside by the time the cops caught up.. But the brakes failed, and he went THROUGH THE GARAGE! Into his back yard! The mieghbors called the police to report the accident, in the hopes that my cousin was ok.. Turns out he was exactly who they were looking for! He got fifteen years for that!
Aaaahahaha! Now THAT'S fucking hilarious. Don't apologize for laughing at the dumbass....I had tears streaming down my face from laughing when I heard that story.
Comments
For the last umpteen years, until River Trails closed. We were hauling ass down the through way, under the freeways, and coming up on the River. All was well until we HIT the river... At which point, I passed out... IN the river. If not for Calvin and Joe following us, I probably would have drowned! I woke up the next afternoon with a note pinned to me like a kindergartener. It read:
Tree, you passed out in the river! Dumbass! ( yes he called me a dumbass in the note!) you're cut off!!
Calvin.
Ps. Tangueray is tied to your mailbox. Told Grandpa you were sick with the flu. Hope you wake up
Before 1!!
To this day, the THOUGHT OF JD makes me sick!
Mad Dog 20/20 (anybody every heard of it, oh this was 1877?) and chips.
Anyway, I decided to drink the entire bottle straight. I wasn't a drinker at all but we continued the night to a party. A rocking party, I wasn't feelin so hot from dancing to some good music. Last thing I remember was hearing KRAFTWERK Trans Europe Express playing sat down on the stairs and everything went black. Next thing I awake in my house face down in my bed fully clothed around noon the next day. My room smelt like a winery, even with the windows were open in the middle of winter in MD. Lucky my mother wasn't home she would have killed me.
I had some good friends to get me home in the snow in whatever condition I was in. How they knew where I lived is a mystery to me and I never found out what happened during the time I blacked out. Maybe I was too embarrassed to ask and MAYBE that's why today I don't drink really about 4 drinks a year.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
Here's that story..although.. I should wait til I get back from
The doc's so I can tell you the WHOLE story.. Cause it was like.. A twenty-four hour fiasco!!
Yeah I'll wait til I get back. Cause you can't miss the flammable puke part!!
Do tell....
Inside. We have our weed, and our huge buzz.. (Trust me I know none of us should have been driving!) but no papers to roll with, z d no pipe. So we ask our neighbor friend who has papers and no more weed if he'd roll is a joint. he's taken his acid on the road, unbeknownst to us. So it's Blues Traveller playing and he starts dancing around like a fairy, and he's just tossing the weed everywhere., like fairy dust. My sister is laid and slaps me across the face out of nowhere. The chick I was 'with' gets up and leaves, never to be seen again. Though she was kind enough to
Leave a voice message letting me know she made it back to OK safe, no thanks to me and my psycho sister! Lmao! So we get in this huge fight in Dandstobe, and er're just slap oxi g it out.. Til finally I puke. And it totally smells like gasoline, so
This guy pulls out a lighter, and lights my puke on fire! And suddenly my sister and are laughing our asses off!! On the ride home, our car burnt up.. ( sugar from the MD20/20), and we had to squish into a Honda Civic with four other people that were all on acid. Ahhhhh what a fucking crazy night!!
A friend of mine told me the story of a friend of his in high school who showed up to a party in the woods with his dad's Porsche. He "borrowed" the car to get to the party. The guy got so tanked that he decided on the drive home (yep, he drove home) that the best way to stay on the road would be to use the guardrails as his guides. Needless to say, the dad came home to a Porsche that had the shit scraped out of the sides.
WOW!!!
Hahahaha! Sorry to laugh, but my cousin was outrunning the cops one night, and he had his girlfriend open the garage door, so he could be inside by the time the cops caught up.. But the brakes failed, and he went THROUGH THE GARAGE! Into his back yard! The mieghbors called the police to report the accident, in the hopes that my cousin was ok.. Turns out he was exactly who they were looking for! He got fifteen years for that!
Aaaahahaha! Now THAT'S fucking hilarious. Don't apologize for laughing at the dumbass....I had tears streaming down my face from laughing when I heard that story.