Did you get the memo?

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  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    Dear Dad,

    Thank you for taking Dustin (youngest brother) and me to see AC/DC @ the Five Seasons Center in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. This was a badass time. Razor's Edge tour I believe, yes/no? Remember me puking on the bar because I snagged your double shot of Jack? It was cool though, only 103 people where there pointing and laughing at my drunken ass.

    Trash can full of water dumped out the window... dad, you were a comedic dickhead.
    Funny guy.
    Nonetheless you are nuts, damn funny, and resting nicely in your box.

    R.I.P.
    your son,
    C.J.

    p.s. are your ears still ringing?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f51Ld6D7swo
    salute to dads.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Dear Weather Complainers,

    I am sorry you are too wussy to deal with the intolerable climate conditions that have been provided to you in the last few months. Maybe I'm sick of being all sun shiny happy for 3 months in a row, year after year, after year after year......after YEAR (and in certain places EVERY FREAKING DAY MISTER SO-CAL!).

    On crack? No dear dear Mickey...some days I don't feel like going to work, I feel like being a slacker...just like you...this year, I figured 'WTF' ?!?! I'm gonna make all of you all suffer.

    Can't wait till you see what I have in store for you come winter.....

    mmmMMMwWWaahHahahhahaha :twisted:

    Lovingly,
    Mother Nature
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    dear mother nature,

    watch it or we'll start breaking oil wells like they're champagne on new years eve

    love and kisses
    humanity
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Dearest Humanity,

    I do like the way Cali jiggles like Jello....see it wiggle....

    Warmly,
    Yo Momma Nature
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    dear humanity,

    listen here little fuckers! i can fucking kill you all and laugh. i like pit vipers and gila monsters more than human beings. FUCK YOU PEOPLE. YOU PISS ME OFF. THANK YOU FOR FUCKING ME OVER.

    creating a mega storm of blood, bone and death,
    planet earth & systems you'll never understand

    p.s. suck one while you're at it... go spray for bugs and dandelions like a good human :evil: :twisted: :evil:
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    yo momma,


    got it! you can kick our ass...could ya just turn the temp down a degree or 30


    grass-ass,
    your number 1 fans, humanity
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    Dear 87,

    Is this 81 recording himself driving his 1973 dodge dart like an idiot?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUNx0553U-E

    Amazed & Scared,
    80
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • Franny
    Franny Posts: 2,054
    Dear Mr Anesthetist,
    I hope you are hot like your colleague that I told I loved when I was in labour 5.5 years ago. Please be kind and I hope your bill, when I recieve it in approx 2-3 weeks as per your receptionists advice, isn't excessive and obscene.

    Thankyou in advance,

    Fran.



    Dear Dr ENT Surgeon,

    I unlike your pre-mention collegue, I know you are not hot, but you know your shit. So let's get this party happening and make me all better. Your making me able to breath better and reduce the likelihood and frequency of future sinus infections, is somthing I will be very thankful for.

    Seeya tomorrow Doc!

    Fran
  • twisted thoughts
    twisted thoughts Posts: 4,377
    Dear Sweet Pea:

    Your human is on to you!! Abort mission!! I repeat, Abort mission!! Back off and lay low. I will contact you soon through a more secure connection so that we can work on perfecting Plan B. Make sure to tell the others in the house to stop laying the traps and prepare for Plan B.

    Fellow K-9
    Bugsy
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR7ofNkB01PsLkTHMQ_YaxRSBBQgqPEZTd1FfjH3MXGjOQbY3Q&t=1&usg=__uZk1pUXWfFioVhHeMonGd1jTsWQ=
    Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA -  August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...



  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    edited September 2010
    Dear London,

    Why is it that every time I try and take a walk I ultimately get turned around and lost. I would think it was me but your residents have no clue where they are either. The only ones who seem to know are the taxi drivers who needed to get a Phd.

    Please review the Manhattan grid and get back to me on how you plan on tackling this issue

    Sincerely,

    Lost
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • DangDang
    DangDang Posts: 1,551
    Dear Dogs,

    Your humans are trips.

    Trips.

    Sincerely,

    Fee-Fee
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    edited September 2010
    Dear Beautiful Fall Evening,

    I love you. :D

    Its been so very long since the breeze has come through the windows carrying the sounds of the birds and the neighborhood children at play.
    It seemed to take you forever to arrive making this evening all the more appreciated.
    I anticipate slippers, a fuzzy blanket and the smell of the grill as the sun sets and the moon climbs within sight.
    JB's return home, donning his flannel lined deck jacket, a small cigar trailing in hand, the sweet smoke filling our space with that peaceful feel.
    Happiness.
    It is moments like you that make life worth living.

    Thank you for being you, Beautiful Fall Evening.

    Your greatest admirer
    PJ
    Post edited by pandora on
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,283
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Dear management,

    You fuckwads , NO I didn't get any MEMO!!!! What was in this Memo? How long do I have and will there be a severance package? Can I take some office supplies when I go? fuck it, I'm taking them anyway.


    Thanks,

    Your loyal employee

    P.S. about that severance package, I know where the bodies are buried. Just sayin'.
    Dear mickeyrat,

    Kinda funny you posted this just yesterday , given what you received in the mail today. It does seem the writing is on the wall, doesn't it?

    Yours,
    mickeyrat
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • tinkerbell
    tinkerbell New Zealand Posts: 2,161
    Dear Government

    You Suck Ass!!

    Regards
    Tink
    all you need is love, love is all you need
  • tinkerbell
    tinkerbell New Zealand Posts: 2,161
    Dear BC

    Thanks for doing all the washing. Please remind me to show my appreciation at 10pm tonight.

    Love
    Tink
    all you need is love, love is all you need
  • One Song Glory
    One Song Glory Posts: 710
    Dear SSHRC,

    I've been investing every waking moment--you've even invaded my DREAMS at times--on a research project that you probably have no interest in funding. As a result of trying to craft the perfect proposal that appeals to tweed-clad English department traditionalists, my supervisor's elite brigade of ultra-modern Digital Humanities specialists and your selection committee grounded entirely outside either field, I've been putting off way too much school work that ACTUALLY MATTERS. So please fuck off with your looming deadline!

    Have a nice day,
    Lauren
    2003: Toronto
    2005: Kitchener/Hamilton/Toronto
    2006: Toronto 1 & 2
    2008: Hartford/EV Toronto 1 & 2
    2009: Toronto/Philadelphia 3 & 4
    2010: Buffalo
    2011: Montreal/Toronto 1 & 2/Hamilton
    2013: London/Buffalo/Vancouver/Seattle
    2016: Toronto 1 & 2
    2022: Hamilton/Toronto
    2023: EV Seattle 1&2
  • Claireack
    Claireack Posts: 13,561
    Dear lunch

    I am sorry to say you were most unsatisfactory. Ryvita why did you suck all the moisture out of the cream cheese? It made you all floppy and the cheese so gooey that it stuck to my teeth. Tesco low fat raspberry yogurt, you were like trying to drink water off a spoon, I now have to go treat patients with yogurt down my top.

    Apple - you were lovely and crunchy and juicy. I appreciate your support.

    Yours

    disappointed
    <a href="http://s952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/?action=view&current=domo.jpg&quot; target="_blank"><img src="http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/domo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
  • nuffingman
    nuffingman Posts: 3,014
    tinkerbell wrote:
    Dear BC

    Thanks for doing all the washing. Please remind me to show my appreciation at 10pm tonight.

    Love
    Tink
    :shock: :shock:

    Dear darling wife

    I hope you enjoyed the meal I cooked last night but I feel guilty I didn't confess to what happened when I was dishing up. When the corn on the cob was cooked I strained it into a sieve and found myself juggling. Unfortunately the corn fell into the dirty washing up bowl. I confess I rinsed it under boiling water from the kettle and served it up.

    Yours guiltily

    M xxx
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    Dear Jerry Garcia,

    I am currently writing you a letter. Thank you for you. I'll be sending you the letter soon; it will be heavy and in a box filled with supplies.

    Thanks for being patient,
    Chad deadly
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Dear Green Moss,

    You are lovely when you cover the trees in the Hoh Rainforest. You make great tinder for a campfire, and according to some survival experts, can make a tasty broth.

    Must you cover my driveway with your super-glue like powers? You are very slippy when it rains, and then it's like you got a shot of steroids because then you get all huffy and start taking over everything. During the rainy season, you make a nice thick lush carpet out of my driveway, and the rain does not let up enough for me to attempt to get rid of your spongy squishy being. You have even choked out my lawn...is that not enough?

    I have spent the last 3 hours power washing the driveway, and it looks very impressive, so lovely. Mr. Driveway is now showing off to the other driveways in the neighborhood how clean and tidy they can look. Mr. Lawn has no hope at all...he is dying a slow and painful death thanks to you. Do you collaborate with Mr. Dandelion and Mr. Clover as well? They seem to thrive since you took over. Miss Blackberry Bush says she does not know you...but she is just as annoying as you are....you may be related.

    In short, you are not welcome near my house....GO AWAY!

    Disgruntled Homeowner
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless

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