Stone Gossard...

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  • happy_larry
    happy_larry Posts: 221
    All of Stones financial decisions are made by a miniature purple monkey that Stone keeps in his left trouser pocket. After the last monkey died Stone's dry cleaning lady has now forbidden Stone from sitting down when wearing tight jeans, those stains were a nightmare to get out.


    At present Stone's financial position is very strong, he has a good monkey with him at the moment.
    Leeds 06
    Wembley 07
    Shepherds Bush
    Manchester
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone is constantly going up to stray dogs, saying "what's that behind your ear?" and proceeding to pull a quarter out. He has been bitten twelve times doing this.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone bought land from Erik Estrada's infomercial. But only after going on the three day free vacation.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • happy_larry
    happy_larry Posts: 221
    Stone Gossard is mentioned in the bible more times than any other character.
    Leeds 06
    Wembley 07
    Shepherds Bush
    Manchester
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Whenever in NYC, Stone will jump on the subway, throw down his hat and start playing the guitar for pocket change.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Whenever in NYC, Stone will jump on the subway, throw down his hat and start playing the guitar for pocket change.
    Was that him with the afro and the clown nose? I thought I recognized his pants.

    Stone Gossard likes to go up to merry-go-rounds and ask all of the horses, "WHy the long face?"
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Dayum! this thread doesn't seem to die! hahahaaa


    Three weeks ago, Stone Gossard ate a whole box of Wheaties. The combined fortified vitamins and minerals gave him such a rush that briefly he believed he could fly.



    The casts will come off sometime in August.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Dayum! this thread doesn't seem to die! hahahaaa


    Three weeks ago, Stone Gossard ate a whole box of Wheaties. The combined fortified vitamins and minerals gave him such a rush that briefly he believed he could fly.



    The casts will come off sometime in August.

    Not only did it give him a rush but also gave him the runs. Those too should be finished in August.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    TrixieCat wrote:
    Was that him with the afro and the clown nose?

    If he talked about how he just lost his family in a fire and contracted HIV, then yes, it was him. Otherwise, it was some other freak.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard doesn't believe in miracles...but he will perform them for a nominal fee.

    His most popular is when he turn wine into urine. it's pretty amazing if you can spring for the wine and the $4.59 service charge.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard tries really really hard not to let the leprechaun convince him to touch himself.


    He is always feels a wee bit cheap, and a little sad when the leprechaun gets his way...and he always gets his way.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone tried to join the girls scouts of america.

    He seriously wanted the cookie selling badge.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    One of his favorite sayings is "Domo Arigato" he doesn't want to brag or anything - but he IS Mr. Roboto.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard lived one year eating nothing but squirrel fetuses.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    I have had Stone Gossard in the back of my cab.

    (Anyone that knows the movie reference has my undying affection.)
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    TrixieCat wrote:
    I have had Stone Gossard in the back of my cab.

    (Anyone that knows the movie reference has my undying affection.)

    HBO's Taxicab Confessions? Probably not, because in that case you would have had him in the back in a much different way. Wasn't Stone the cab driver in Chicago Cab?
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    mookie9999 wrote:
    HBO's Taxicab Confessions? Probably not, because in that case you would have had him in the back in a much different way. Wasn't Stone the cab driver in Chicago Cab?
    lol No, not the HBO show. But the same meaning. We used to always joke about how we had everyone in the back of our cab.

    You have my undying appreciation of your wit in this thread, as does FPerseph.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard is the surrogate father to 11,234 children based on the number of times his donor sperm has been sold.



    In Brazil.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard is the mother of invention.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard wanted to win the prize behind door number 3 yesterday, when he was watching a reshowing of "Let's Make a Deal" it was a toaster oven and dinette set.


    the Toaster oven would heat his hot pockets perfectly and the dinette set was just really cool in genuine imitation mahogany...I mean, can't you just see it in the dining room with maybe some candlesticks and a really tasteful arrangement of flowers??

    sigh, Stone really wanted it.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard once bought that hideous ceramic dalmation on one of his shopping sprees on Wheel of Fortune. He named it Fluffy.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard once had a boil on his butt cheek (a little left of where his crack is on the right side) that looked exactly like Ernest Borgnine.


    He showed people this boil for weeks, until it got too painful and he had to have it lanced...but, he still has about 12 Polaroid shots of it.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard once saw the image of Barbara Steisand in his toast. He yelled "I got you my pretty!!" right before he wolfed it down and chased it with a shot of Jack Daniels.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • NY PJ1
    NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    stone eats his own poo
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    TrixieCat wrote:
    Stone Gossard once saw the image of Barbara Steisand in his toast. He yelled "I got you my pretty!!" right before he wolfed it down and chased it with a shot of Jack Daniels.

    :D

    Stone Gossard likes to dress up in his Halloween costume from 2001. (Britney Spears) he sings 'hit me baby" while riding his mechanical bull that he had installed in his breakfast nook.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard refuses to believe that Darth Vader is Luke's father.

    it has gotten to the point where he filmed a "alternate ending" in his backyard.

    He plays the role of Princess Leia. Darth Vader is played by his kitty cat, "The Grand Sir Snowflake" and Luke is played by his pet iguana with the patched eyes.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    If Stone ever asks you if you want some "yum yums" he IS NOT TALKING ABOUT FOOD.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard loves to lick whipped cream off himself and pretend it is Ed.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard passed a kidneystone that was "as big as a whole honeybaked ham"

    what Stone didn't know was that it WAS a honeybaked ham...and it was prolly the bestest practical joke that Matt has ever played.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone tells his mail carrier to "spank it" if he is later than 4:15 at delivering his mail.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.

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