Home› The Porch
Options

Stone Gossard...

1…4849515354…283

Comments

  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard takes a walk every other morning through this flea market type area, and each time he walks through, a very pleasant elderly woman sells him a knit hat...She looks so much like his beloved Nana, that he can't turn her down...even tho the hats are uncomfortable, ugly and smell vaguely like cat urine.


    He now owns well over 2300 of these puce green hats.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • shell bellshell bell Posts: 337
    Stone Gossard can tell a dirtier joke than Bob Saget..........and get more laughs than him.
    when you get confused just listen to the music play........

    "You damn well can't lick the system,but you can sure give it a good fondeling."-sleazy estate man(Hugh Laurie on A bit of Fry and Laurie)

    "Judas Priest on a two stroke moped!"(Stephen Fry)
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Stone Gossard takes a walk every other morning through this flea market type area, and each time he walks through, a very pleasant elderly woman sells him a knit hat...She looks so much like his beloved Nana, that he can't turn her down...even tho the hats are uncomfortable, ugly and smell vaguely like cat urine.


    He now owns well over 2300 of these puce green hats.

    which he has given to Jeff. He wears them all at the same time.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard will only eat the green m&m's.


    he considers it part of doing what is right for the environment.


    please don't tell him - he gets so happy about the green m&m's
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • SnakeSnake Posts: 2,605
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Stone Gossard will only eat the green m&m's.


    he considers it part of doing what is right for the environment.


    please don't tell him - he gets so happy about the green m&m's
    On the same note, Stone refuses to eat brown M&Ms because he says they represent smog and ozone.
    Pirates had democracy too.

    "Its a secret to everybody."
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard is the guy wearing a yellow sweater and brown corduroys standing just outside the AI of Chicago... big cities terrify him, but he is lost and getting a little hungry. BTW: he has a can of mace so be careful!
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Stone Gossard doesn't like red m&m's because he says red is the colour of evil.

    Of course we all know that is a pretty shallow but, hey, that's what he thinks.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone had Baked Ziti with mushrooms and spearmint tic tacs for lunch the way he always does
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone got his signals crossed and is standing on an empty stage at Grant Park wondering where the rest of the band is. Not to mention where the hell are all the fans. And most importantly, where can he buy his beloved funnel cake?
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone feels that The Simpsons are just reincarnated Jetsons.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Stone got his signals crossed and is standing on an empty stage at Grant Park wondering where the rest of the band is. Not to mention where the hell are all the fans. And most importantly, where can he buy his beloved funnel cake?

    Haha! That makes me think of Spinal Tap.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Stone got his signals crossed and is standing on an empty stage at Grant Park wondering where the rest of the band is. Not to mention where the hell are all the fans. And most importantly, where can he buy his beloved funnel cake?


    hahahahaaaaa.... :D
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Every Sunday Stone spends three hours clipping coupons, mapping out his attack of what stores he will hit all the while creating a shopping list. He then forgets everything at home, says "fuck shopping" and goes for a banana split with the following flavor combination: mint chip, orange sherbet, and spumoni.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard made a mask out of paper mache, feathers, and poster paint...he wears it when he is "SuperStone" defender of the planet "kittykins" UH OH!! the evil lord "doggyboo" is acting up again...
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard goes door to door offering to wash people's delicates for them...he really likes to use his Woolite.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone believes that Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is what Corky had on Life Goes On. Now whenever a friend of his tells him that they have CPS he gets red in the face calls them "a bunch of fucking liars" and kicks them out of his house.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Stone Gossard doesn't like yellow m&m's. 'He says that they are the colour of piss'. He doesn't like the brown ones either, for the same kind of reason.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone loves cartoon porn as long as it is graphic and has a decent plot.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    Stone Gossard doesn't like yellow m&m's. 'He says that they are the colour of piss'. He doesn't like the brown ones either, for the same kind of reason.

    Stone is checking into the hospital as we speak for having brown colored urine.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard has Tourette's syndrome.

























    There isn't anythi-*#@$#-ng Funny about *&^$#@ that.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Stone is checking into the hospital as we speak for having brown colored urine.

    I was thinking of...











    ...poop.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard can only use chopsticks with his left foot.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    The driver side door on Stone Gossard's first car didn't open. He had to get in on the passenger side and climb over to the driver side. Because of that car he ALWAYS enters every car from the passenger side...no matter how well the driver's side door functions.


    this does not explain why he hollers "SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOWDY!!" each time, however.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard has this posted on his garage.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Stone Gossard has this posted on his garage.

    Mr.T is Stone Gossard's idol. That's where he got the idea to wear a big gold chain with 'Stoney G' on it!
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    I love the way you and Mookie keep this thread alive. He pops up, gives us some real gems and is then gone again :D
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Stone Gossard has a room at home where the walls are covered entirely of pictures of his face.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone can fit 5 potatoes in his mouth... but doesn't like to brag


    one time he was able to make a "potato salad" by shoving 4 boiled potatoes, 2 celery stalks, some olives, and mayo into his mouth and chewing...
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard wrote a dissertation debating the hand job capabilities of an orangutan over a midget.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Stone Gossard wrote a dissertation debating the hand job capabilities of an orangutan over a midget.

    That reminds me of something I read in the news today.

    Stone Gossard get's really embarrassed when Mike McCready takes his clothes off onstage and it makes him blush. He doesn't want to see Mike's winkle dinkle. :D
Sign In or Register to comment.